I have my gaming rig connected to my home theater as well. If either the tv or the receiver is shut off the "greyed out" hdmi connection happens to me to. So, perhaps if your receiver is connected to your tv it may need to have the tv on (I know that doesn't sound like it makes any sense) as well as the receiver (of course) in order to "sense" the hdmi output properly and change from "greyed out" to colored and connectable. Hopefully this works for you too! Remember to try it with "everything" on.
I can get away with turning my tv off only AFTER I've made my connection. However, sometimes the next day after the screensaver gets going for a while it can revert to "greyed out" I'm guessing because it "sensed" that the tv connection is back off.
I'm thinking that depending on the receiver their may be a negative feedback loop that when it tells that one component is "off" to disconnect the hdmi connection? Who knows. That's my experience and it may or may not help. I hope it does! If not I hope you find a better solution that works!
Thanks,
Justin S.