I finally convinced a nearby ISP to come through my backyard to service my home (they don't provide for my road, but they do provide for the road my backyard touches); however, when they arrived to set everything up, they realized that the cables came from the opposite side of the road that my backyard touches and said they probably wouldn't do anything else for me since it was already a special case. What I'm asking for is if there is anyway to A) convince them to go under or B) do something on my own and have them use that?