First of all, how high you can go safely is determined by your luck in getting a good chip.
I think your chip is at least average.
I suggest you reset all settings to default. That includes ram.
Then gradually increase all the multipliers on concert and see how well you can do.
Monitor your vcore. Past 1.30v is no good, and it is the voltage that drives up your temperatures.
Stress test with OCCT. It uses more normal instructions than prime95 and IBT.
It will shut down the test at 85c.
Monitor your vcore.
When you reach your limit, perhaps back off a notch.
How high do you really need to go?
I leave ram at stock voltage. Faster ram takes more voltage, and I found that it impacted the ability to oc a bit.
And faster ram is not all that necessary if you use a discrete graphics card.
Read this on haswell ram scaling:
http://www.anandtech.com/show/7364/memory-scaling-on-haswell
When all is done, implement speedstep and adaptive voltage.
That will let your multiplier and vcore drop when the cpu has little to do.