Mixing ram is a crap shoot at best. To start with, there's the silicon the chips are made from. It's a different batch entirely and most probably has different impurities associated with it. Then there's the physical differences such as speeds, voltages, timings. And that's the stuff most generally see, there's also secondary and tertiary timings, over 30 in all. To get fully functional ram with both sets means all those differences add up to nothing. If your 4Gb is 1333@1.5v, and the 8Gb is 1600@1.65v you will end up with 12Gb of 1333@1.65v .kinda good sized performance loss and some overheated ram. That's assuming they play nice in the first place.
Then there's sticks themselves and position in the mobo. If you have 2x2Gb and a single 8Gb, the 2x in slots 2/4 will run dual channel, the 8Gb in single channel. Vice versa if it's 2x4Gb and a single 4Gb.if you have 1x 4Gb and 1x 8Gb, you'll get single channel period, position doesn't matter. Dual channel can show as much as 20% performance gain over single.
Best bet is to purchase a kit, all the sticks are factory tested for compatability and binned as such. I'd personally just buy new in either 8Gb or 16Gb in the speed you want.