All Ethernet connections suddenly stopped working

Zyperspace

Reputable
Oct 25, 2016
58
1
4,545
Out of nowhere, all Ethernet connections to my fairly new router gave the same error:
"Ethernet" doesn't have a valid IP configuration.
Wireless connections are not affected, but it's still a huge problem, as my desktop simply doesn't have a wireless adapter and Ethernet is way faster! (sellout? :p)

I've tried tons of fixes already, including DHCP, netsh reset thing, IPv4 and IPv6 reset and even uninstalled + reinstalled desktop ethernet drivers! Nothing has worked, what the hell is going on!?