Only half of installed memory showing up in BIOS and Windows(7home,10home,10pro all x64)

Hi, so here is the problem.

I recieved 2 refurbished kingston (hyundai Electronics) 4gb dd2 800mhz sticks but after putting
them in the bios and windows recognize them as 2gb sticks.

Both speccy and cpu-z show that there is 8gb ram installed but only 4gb of physical memory. Whatever I do they wont get recognized fully in the BIOS or windows. the MB (asus P5QL-SE) supports 8gb ram, the Q9400 quad core cpu should be fine with it, I tried windows 7 home, 10 home and 10 pro all x64, flashed the BIOS to the latest version, cleared CMOS with the jumpers and removing the battery for 30min just to be sure, I tried running both sticks single (2gb in BIOS and win, 4 in speccy and cpu-z with 2gb phys mem) and switched up the dual configuration several times, ran windows memory diagnostic on dual and single without problems, ran memtest86 3 passes per stick and in both dual configs with 0 errors, messed about with the voltages as much as I dared and is possible in the very barebones asus BIOS for this mb, checked msconfig for unchecked max memory, tried forcing 8gb trough slight voltage bump and max memory settings, scoured this and every other forum I could find for a possible solution, but to no avail.

the thing that amazes me is that they seem to work perfectly, more stable than the 2x2gb I was using daily and a lot more stable than many 2nd hand sticks I've been trying, no errors thus far, no BSOD's, no nothing, just 4gb of memory evaporating somewere in the system. The more I learn about computers the more surprised I am how finicky these things are, they really seem to have a mind of their own.

if anyone has any suggestions or can explain to me how this is even possible I would be much obliged.

p.s. sorry for my butchery of the English language, I hope it is decipherable.
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More about half installed memory showing bios windows 7home 10home 10pro x64
  1. Noticed I have not tried reseating the cpu and checking for bent pins/uneven pressure from the heatsink. the heatsink is stock intel cooler with those little plastic grabber feet and I placed it carefully last time I replaced the cooling paste but it wont hurt. first thing in the morning tomorrow. if anyone has any other suggestions please post.
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