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Why do parents hate games?

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November 10, 2008 2:23:07 AM

Maybe i've been exposed to the wrong people but i can't help but notice parents in general especially my mum have an incredibly strong hate against any form of electronic game.

any ideas?

More about : parents hate games

November 10, 2008 2:31:52 AM

Sharft6 said:
Maybe i've been exposed to the wrong people but i can't help but notice parents in general especially my mum have an incredibly strong hate against any form of electronic game.

any ideas?


She doesn't hate the game itself, silly, just the part where you waste your life on it. :whistle: 
November 10, 2008 2:36:15 AM

There are several reasons I can think of.

1. It's new. Older people (such as parents) didn't grow up with them, and so they don't fully understand them.

2. Video games have been blamed for violent behavior. Events like Columbine reinforce this, and there isn't a lot of evidence saying it's totally wrong, but most evidence just states that any behavior changes are minor and tend to subside after a few hours, anyway.

3. Video games are often anti-social, and parents like to see kids with lots of friends. Hence, go outside and play, make friends = happy parents, anything else= less happy parents.

4. Because some "evil" games, like the Grant Theft Auto series have been so highly publicized and criticized, less-informed parents tend to believe all games are as violent, lewd, and contain similar "bad" elements.

Those are mostly opinions.
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November 10, 2008 2:44:39 AM

Dekasav said:
There are several reasons I can think of.

1. It's new. Older people (such as parents) didn't grow up with them, and so they don't fully understand them.

2. Video games have been blamed for violent behavior. Events like Columbine reinforce this, and there isn't a lot of evidence saying it's totally wrong, but most evidence just states that any behavior changes are minor and tend to subside after a few hours, anyway.

3. Video games are often anti-social, and parents like to see kids with lots of friends. Hence, go outside and play, make friends = happy parents, anything else= less happy parents.

4. Because some "evil" games, like the Grant Theft Auto series have been so highly publicized and criticized, less-informed parents tend to believe all games are as violent, lewd, and contain similar "bad" elements.

Those are mostly opinions.


So basically, parents use games as scapegoat for their own lack of parenting? :na: 
November 10, 2008 2:56:17 AM

Just like TV. But games are easier to target, since parents don't play them (but they watch TV, which is just as "evil").
November 10, 2008 3:25:24 AM

dagger said:
She doesn't hate the game itself, silly, just the part where you waste your life on it. :whistle: 

Oh yea that reminds me of another question.

How does one waste their life?
November 10, 2008 4:24:50 AM

They probably want you to go outside and run around for a while (not a bad idea).
November 10, 2008 5:06:02 AM

I bike, swim and do a little running but its mainly for exercise. It doesn't like open my mind to new possibilities or anything.

Your feed back is still appreciated.
November 10, 2008 5:11:19 AM

Try interacting with people during your outdoors time.

Play some soccer or something. I learned more from team sports than almost anything else I ever did.
November 10, 2008 5:14:00 AM

when i was younger I went tramping/hiking and I was in a hockey team. Would anything be different now?

I do enjoy some things outside like riding motor bike(off road only) and driving paddock car and shooting stuff :p  But I've never enjoyed social events and this is not the point.

Just wondering how to waste my life becase I've heard that one before.
November 10, 2008 5:19:49 AM

Mums will be mums.

I'm sure the mums of the middle ages shuddered at the thought of jousting.
November 10, 2008 6:47:02 AM

Put your mom in front of Tetris, she will be hooked and you wont hear another peep from her.

Gets em every time ;) 
November 10, 2008 6:54:40 AM

actually ive found the WII to be a much more effective modern equivalent..

my mam always went on at me for wasting my life for playing games, even when i was playing sociable ones, and had plenty of friends and went to partys, infact i was always limited to 1 console(which lead me to buy and build a full computer behind her back) while living under her roof as a kid. Now however im getting my own back cause she bought a Wii and is loving every second of it.

even when i was 16 had a part time job and was paying 250 pound a month rent she still didnt like it when i crashed after work with a good game.
November 10, 2008 7:26:40 AM

Well I'm a parent and I like games ;) 

What I don't agree with is inappropiate gaming - it makes me unpopular, but I take my parental responsibilites seriously which means that no, my 12 year old can't play San Andreas. It's not from a position of ignorace (I've completed the game myself 3 or 4 times) but purely from the opinion that the content is unsuitable for a young teenager - hence it's 18 certificate. In this moder permissive age it makes me unpopular, but give the loutishness of some of his friends, I think I'm doing the correct thing by promoting a moral lifestyle at home. With mobile media being so much more common than when I was at school (not that long ago!) I know he's going t ocome into contact with a lot of content aimed at older people, I'm hopefully giving him the background he needs to deal with it without it affecting him negatively.

As for other games, well we regularly have warcraft III tournaments where all four of us compete, so it can be a fun way for a family to spend an afternoon.

School, homework, leisure, gaming - as long as there is the correct balance, I have no issue at all with it.
November 10, 2008 7:33:38 AM

WTB edit function and working fingers - appalling typing above, sorry :) 
November 10, 2008 9:05:53 AM

lol my parents are retarded when their so fcking paranoid if i turn on my pc to surf the web or do work they think i;m gaming. and yeah getting parents hooked on stupid games do work my mom started playing golf on her phone.
November 10, 2008 9:15:17 AM

Most parents hate games because children and teenagers will avoid any shred of responsibility for anything to play games instead.

And thats the truth, whether people like it or not.
November 10, 2008 9:15:25 AM

Kyzarvs - applaudable attitude tbh mate.

I'm aware its an unpopular view, but having a 12 year old simulating gunning down pedestrians and drug runs is not healthy for anyone but the Developer thats makes money out of controversial titles.

If i was a parent my kid wouldnt go anywhere near GTA et al until he had demonstrated a sense of maturity, e.g. the chap above would be limited to a Scrabble board and a Jacob's Ladder.
November 10, 2008 10:58:26 AM

Sharft6 said:

How does one waste their life?


First, check the grammar in the question above. If you can see what's wrong with it, you may not have wasted your time in asking it.

You waste your life if you do not undertake enough activities that will bring you (and/or even better, people around you) further in life (materialisticly or spiritually). Obviously the quantification of "enough" is highly subjective, and noone in their right mind will deny that everybody needs leisure time as well, but it should be in balance. To live without balance (either way) is actually wasting your life. You will regret it sooner or later, and if it's later you will not be able to make up for it, in the time that you have left.

November 10, 2008 11:02:18 AM

wat do u mean by me not being mature i've been playing mature rated games for 2 years since i was 12. Theres nothing wrong with gta its just that some ppl who played it had screwed up lives in the first place.
November 10, 2008 11:19:03 AM

darthvaderkenneth said:
wat do u mean by me not being mature i've been playing mature rated games for 2 years since i was 12.

And this makes you mature how?...
November 10, 2008 11:28:58 AM

well mature enough to not go crazy and go on a killing spree, kill my self or becoming obsessed with death. Also since my IQ is 130 my intelligence would be about the same as an average/slightly above average 16-17yr old. Games i play include far cry 2/ crysis,warhead/cod 4/cod5 and do u expect any gamer to miss out on these games.
November 10, 2008 11:30:26 AM

Parents are the fun police. Give them an ultimatum. It is either video games or selling drugs. Their choice.
November 10, 2008 11:39:04 AM

they might take u seriously and then ur really screwed if u did that.
November 10, 2008 12:00:38 PM

...so long as they didn't try to pick up off you!
November 10, 2008 12:18:56 PM

darthvaderkenneth said:
well mature enough to not go crazy and go on a killing spree, kill my self or becoming obsessed with death. Also since my IQ is 130 my intelligence would be about the same as an average/slightly above average 16-17yr old. Games i play include far cry 2/ crysis,warhead/cod 4/cod5 and do u expect any gamer to miss out on these games.


Why does making them wait until they of an appropiate age mean they will 'miss out'? I have an attention span > 3.7 seconds so I quite enjoy playing slightly older games (FarCry, HL2, San-An, CS:S etc) at ultra max details & resolution - I don't have to have the latest-greatest-must-have-or-my-brain-will-explode-and-my-life-is-so-incomplete uber game of the moment.

And even if they did, I'd put my kids wellbeing over 'missing out' on some frivilous piece of entertainment like a game.

And I'm sorry, but no 12 year old has the frames of reference required to put games like San-Andreas in context, they simply haven't lived long enough. Just because they don't go out and steal a car doesn't mean that they are suitable to play the game, not in my mind.

But hey, I'm old-fashioned and believe parents have a responsibility beyond just baby-sitting their children ;) 
November 10, 2008 12:34:12 PM

BigMac said:
First, check the grammar in the question above. If you can see what's wrong with it, you may not have wasted your time in asking it.

umm... I assume what you say is incorrect grammar is that it says that "one" and then later refers to the same as "their", but their doesn't neccessarily have to be plural
November 10, 2008 12:39:58 PM

Sorry - I'll stop doubling my posts up one day ;) 

Just wanted to add that if you see gaming (a fun but ultimately worthless activity for downtime) as that important, then you are proving my point of view.

It's just for fun and if you are taking it too seriously you should find something more worthwhile for your time. Having some 12 year old rush home in a frenzy from school to work on the perfect headshot and spending hours each night doing it - can you honestly say that doesn't affect a youngsters thinking at all? When I was a kid I was taken in by New Zealand Story, Bubble Bobble and Turrican II - My folks didn't really mind that, but then I balanced it with a lot of reading, sport and sociable activities (you know actually going out and seeing the people you are communicating with - EQ / WoW / Eve doesn't count ;)  ) Kids who learn their only social skills through swearing in WoW really don't float my boat when they come through my door at work asking me for a job at 17 / 18.
November 10, 2008 12:49:27 PM

OMFG TURRICAN 2!!!

*wanders off to look for an emulator*

Dude i loved that game.




One thought that always persists with me when i look back at things like hours spent on UT04, WoW is "In that time i could have learnt a new language".
Put that into your own context - for me learning another language is a goal of mine, however i never made the time as i was too busy with games. What is more likely to serve me better....My shiny purple medallion for killing Illidan, or fluent Japanese?


Kinda off-topic but worth sharing i feel.
November 10, 2008 12:51:44 PM

Heya,

Parents don't just hate games. It has nothing to do with the games themselves for the most part. It has to do with what they see and how it reflects on them. You see, parents are looking after their child's development, but what a lot of people don't also focus on is that the parent themselves are still developing too--they're not finished. And when they have children, a whole new development begins. One that for them is very important. In parenting speech, it may come out to one as "I want to see you be successful." That's a good way to look at it.

No matter what you do, if you're not on an obvious path in their eyes to "being successful" as an adult later, then they will always target whatever it is that is impeding on that idea for them. Be it games, be it going out with friends much too often and staying out much too late. When soccer (just for example) takes up all the time that one's parents sees, unless they dream of their kid being a pro soccer player, they may start on with how that child should spend less time with the ball and more time with the books. Again, just an example. It has less to do with the actual activity, and more to do with the parents' ideas of what a path to success is for their child.

Seeing their child's success, how they perceive it, reflects on them as parents and that's pare of their adult development--to be able to make successful offspring, reflecting they were good successful parents.

If one is having problems with parents that don't like `gaming' in general, it's not the gaming so much, but more that they probably don't see a future successful path immediately for their child. They just need to see that this child has goals, has the means to achieve them, and is on that path on the way. When they see it and feel it, no longer will a game be a big deal to them.

So, get your grades up. Let them know you're career oriented and you are going to do what it takes to get into that field, whatever it may be, and make sure they see that as part of your life. They don't see you at school or what you're doing when they're not around. They may only see you the one time you're at home, and that may be the only time you get to play games, and so they only see you playing games--which to them, seems to be the only thing you do. They need to see more and know you're not just avoiding responsibility or "growing up" by just zonking out on a game box, but rather, you're tired after studying or working for your future goals and you feel like loosening up with a good game.

Very best,
November 10, 2008 12:54:17 PM

Or to put it another way, for the last few weeks the time I was spending gaming I'm now putting into my new web-business. Instead of 5 x EQ subscriptions going out, I have a few hundred quid a month coming in and the very real chance of expanding my company into being my primary source of income.

And Turrican II has to be in the top 3 all time best classic games, but that's another thread :) 
November 10, 2008 1:03:19 PM

Sharft6 said:
Maybe i've been exposed to the wrong people but i can't help but notice parents in general especially my mum have an incredibly strong hate against any form of electronic game. any ideas?


I might have your answer.

My wife doesn't like me playing games either. It's not that she hates games. Your mum and my wife want us spending more time talking and visiting with them (paying attention to them). The time you spend gaming is less time with them. Your mum loves you, she really doesn't hate games, just wishes you spent more time with her.

If you balance your leisure time like Bigmac says, she will dislike your gaming less.
November 10, 2008 1:55:58 PM

A lot of good answers.

ImajorI has found the exact hassle I have regarding my gaming, and malveaux sounds like he has a very convincing arguement, the only thing I don't like about it is that it makes feel like I need to grow up, take responsibilities, and have kids!
November 10, 2008 2:20:39 PM

Quote:
Most parents hate games because children and teenagers will avoid any shred of responsibility for anything to play games instead.

And thats the truth, whether people like it or not.


So what are you, some sort of world leading expert on children/parenting? Either way I would have to strongly disagree with your assertion that games are some sort of narcotic that children can't avoid being hooked on. Poor parenting is what leads to children trying to dodge responsibility for whatever reason. Good parenting can actually use games as a reward to encourage responsible behavior.

I can understand older folks not understanding gaming and therefore disliking it and having trouble with their children playing them. One mistake I think a lot of parents make is to equate gaming with watching television and treat it accordingly. Personally I see gaming as something closer to reading (active) than watching TV (passive). As a gamer and a parent I see things differently than my parents did and I have to say I've done a much better job parenting my child's gaming activities. The key is having an active part in how your children game, not just buying them an XBox and leaving them to their own devices.
November 10, 2008 2:46:58 PM

Quote:
The time you spend gaming is less time with them.

The thing that bothers me about that statement is that people have hobbies which take up their time, hopefully not too much, but for some reason gaming is often trivialized as being a legit hobby. I can attest to the fact that one of the worst things you can do in a relationship is to spend all of your time together. I guess if you're part of a hunter-gatherer society I could understand the scorn for any sort of wasteful activity. But in our modern society there certainly is a healthy place for leisure activities. I'm just not sure why gaming is so looked down upon compared to say golfing.
November 10, 2008 2:55:12 PM

purplerat said:
Quote:
Most parents hate games because children and teenagers will avoid any shred of responsibility for anything to play games instead.

And thats the truth, whether people like it or not.


So what are you, some sort of world leading expert on children/parenting? Either way I would have to strongly disagree with your assertion that games are some sort of narcotic that children can't avoid being hooked on. Poor parenting is what leads to children trying to dodge responsibility for whatever reason. Good parenting can actually use games as a reward to encourage responsible behavior.

I can understand older folks not understanding gaming and therefore disliking it and having trouble with their children playing them. One mistake I think a lot of parents make is to equate gaming with watching television and treat it accordingly. Personally I see gaming as something closer to reading (active) than watching TV (passive). As a gamer and a parent I see things differently than my parents did and I have to say I've done a much better job parenting my child's gaming activities. The key is having an active part in how your children game, not just buying them an XBox and leaving them to their own devices.


Replies like this give me hope for the world :) 

The number of times I feel I'm the only one who actually cares about their kids and how they spend their time!
November 10, 2008 2:59:01 PM

Purplerat - its because it has no health benefits attributed to it.

I could expand on that but im going home in a bit so ill let your minds wander :p 
November 10, 2008 3:25:16 PM

Quote:
Purplerat - its because it has no health benefits attributed to it.

Really? Ever heard of mental health? One thing that modern science is finding more and more is that while we have the medicine to keep our bodies healthy much longer it's the mind that is often most neglected. Regular mental activities are hugely beneficial if you don't want to start slipping into senility in your 50s.
Because of everything mentally involved in playing a game - audio/visual sensory, muscle response, logical thinking, pattern recognition, etc, etc, etc - you'd be hard pressed to find many other mental activities that are as beneficial. Not to mention that if you enjoy video games (why else would you be playing them?) there's huge benefits to doing something that makes you happy.
November 10, 2008 3:35:35 PM

kyzarvs said:
Sorry - I'll stop doubling my posts up one day ;) 

Having some 12 year old rush home in a frenzy from school to work on the perfect headshot and spending hours each night doing it - can you honestly say that doesn't affect a youngsters thinking at all?


I am not judging your parenting as I am not a parent that has any place to relate, but I am a much older brother. My little sister is 12 years old (im 22). Even when I was growing up in high school she was playing Halo, Counter Strike (on a lan with PC's), would watch me play GTA (however little I may have and she dabbled in it as well), and all other sorts of games. She even played DooM 3, but stopped soon after being to afraid to continue lol.

She has absolutely no issue putting the games in perspective as to their realism and the such. She actually came home from school one day when they had a halloween party and someone had dressed up as master chief, she said that he had taken it to far and that was just a game (she was in 5th grade at the time). She has seen the reports that sometime hit the news about how people think video games make people violent and has formulated her own opinion on that being ridiculous (a word that she actually used).

My parents absolutely know and understand that she has played and still plays these games and have no issue with it. Know that I come from a household with no rules what so ever. When I was 15 years old I could stay out until 5am if I wished with no issue whatsoever just had to let them know that I would be home late. I to this day have never taken a drink of alcohol or done any drugs. So to say that someone that is 12 years old is not smart enough to put it in perspective actually is an insult to my little sister and myself and that is why I decided to respond to this. Maybe we are a special bunch...idk, but it absolutely is possible.

Sorry if this sounds like me being a smart a** or whatever, but it really bothers me when people say thing of the such like my parents way of parenting is a terrible way of doing it when I am the only one of my friends who has never touched alcohol or drugs and who didnt go crazy when I got to college because I was very used to the freedom that college offered because I grew up with it. Would that work for everyone? Probably not, but it obviously has worked just fine on 4 kids and seems to be working well on the 5th, so idk it seems ok to me. Just as video games seems very harmless to me as well, but this is coming from a person who saw "Terminator 2" in the theater in 1991 and was born in 1986 so take it with a grain of salt. lol


Best,

3Ball
November 10, 2008 4:29:36 PM

purplerat said:
Quote:
Purplerat - its because it has no health benefits attributed to it.

Really? Ever heard of mental health? One thing that modern science is finding more and more is that while we have the medicine to keep our bodies healthy much longer it's the mind that is often most neglected. Regular mental activities are hugely beneficial if you don't want to start slipping into senility in your 50s.
Because of everything mentally involved in playing a game - audio/visual sensory, muscle response, logical thinking, pattern recognition, etc, etc, etc - you'd be hard pressed to find many other mental activities that are as beneficial. Not to mention that if you enjoy video games (why else would you be playing them?) there's huge benefits to doing something that makes you happy.



Right, so thats the selling point behind Brain Training sorted.

Now can you really see that reasoning working on a mom who is censoring her 14Yr old son from GTA?

I know there are mental health benefits, of course most of us do.
Its not something you would be taken seriously for in a conversation with your typical family however, vastly unlike the benefits of running or football.

Im sure however that the world will soon wake up to the realisation that countless hours spent fragging lollipop ladies will create the next Nobel winner.
November 10, 2008 4:43:12 PM

Thats a sweeping generalisation. I'm a parent of 2 boys aged 18 & 20. Me & my sons have enjoyed PC & console gaming all their lives.

I like PC games more (shooters are much better with a mouse).

But what I dislike is that playing games is more important than socialising with our relatives or revising for exams.

E.G. eldest gets 10 A's at 16 then he gets C's at 18 after taking up WOW.

Thats 1 game I wish would go away and die. To any other parents reading do not let world of warcraft into your house.
November 10, 2008 5:09:48 PM

So if I understand you correctly pr2thej, you're just stating that most people do not see the health benefits of gaming as opposed to there not actually being any? If so then yes I agree with you on that point, but I think that younger people (which I still consider myself) are more likely to see the actual benefits. One thing I find kind of ironic about the parent of the kid wanting GTA4 is that more times than not it's the ones who think games are pointless who end up buying it for their kid just to shut them up. I think a parent like myself who takes a real interest in their kids gaming would be less likely to buy a game that isn't age appropriate for their child. I spend a lot of time steering my own son's gaming interest in a direction that's more beneficial than just buying him a box to plop down in front of.
November 10, 2008 6:49:38 PM

:o  interesting discussion.

oldgreyhead said:
Thats a sweeping generalisation. I'm a parent of 2 boys aged 18 & 20. Me & my sons have enjoyed PC & console gaming all their lives.

yeah sorry about the generalisation. I have yet to meet a parent who approves of their offspring playing games.
I also understand I didn't really ask the right question at the beginning.


I'm gonna finish my degree next year but apparently that seems to be less important than becoming a kitchen hand or something. I guess I'm just battling with what I think is a great life and what my parents thing is a great life.

It's sad because when they watch you play games they have really sunken faces.

I'm 20 and I've played over 3,429 hours of games in my life and still have no regret.
November 10, 2008 6:56:55 PM

Hahaha, I know of a guy who stays at home to take care of his baby...he has no job...his wife does the money making. He puts the baby down in a play pin next to the computer and plays WOW all day long.

There is no defined line to cross but people can get pretty obsessed with video games to where it can have a negative impact on their life. Perhaps that is what parents are afraid of.

I think the negativity towards video games comes mainly from a generation gap where the parents didn't grow up with technology. Some people just have no interest and think that playing video games is a detrimental activity.

People like us who grew up with Nintendos and Segas and Playstations...maybe Tandy1000s....have quite a different view. Video games are what we do for fun. Choosing video games over homework...I think that is a problem but doing it in sort of a controlled way where it doesn't turn you an antisocial introvert is perfectly harmless. Playing WOW instead of interacting with your baby....that could be bad.
November 10, 2008 10:23:14 PM

purplerat said:
So if I understand you correctly pr2thej


Yea pretty much man. You're in the Zooo0o0o0ooooone
November 10, 2008 10:49:09 PM

I personally think the line that shouldn't be crossed is when you set aside time to play video games. At that point, you really need to stop and rethink your behavior. Playing on the weekend is one thing; playing when you should be studying or doing homework is completely different.

I'm being a hypocrite as I should be studying instead of writing this lol
November 11, 2008 2:23:10 AM

Quote:
I personally think the line that shouldn't be crossed is when you set aside time to play video games. At that point, you really need to stop and rethink your behavior.

I see it as exactly the opposite. As with any hobby it’s best to set pre-determined time aside as to avoid any other conflicts and to allow yourself maximum enjoyment. If you’re filling every unused minute with gaming just because you have nothing better to do you’re probably more likely to run into a problem.
November 11, 2008 3:43:39 AM

tallguy1618 said:
I personally think the line that shouldn't be crossed is when you set aside time to play video games. At that point, you really need to stop and rethink your behavior. Playing on the weekend is one thing; playing when you should be studying or doing homework is completely different.

I'm being a hypocrite as I should be studying instead of writing this lol


That's not even realistic.

Would you just randomly try to do a game of Monopoly in 30 minutes before work because you have nothing `planned' for those 30 minutes?

Perhaps an unfair question, but how many games have you played that take up so little time that you can actually play them without having to have some time to `waste' on them, unplanned time?

Scenario:

You just got Fallout3
You installed it.
Randomly, you decide to play.
15 minutes pass, and you're still age 16 in the game.
You never even get to Megaton.
A month passes.
Now you wonder why you spent money on this `game.'
Clearly you didn't plan enough time to spend on it, so you basically burned $50 for the hell of it.

Gaming is no different than playing baseball, painting, building little wooden ships, counting paperclips, or anything else. Anything that takes more than 10 minutes (arbitrary number, clearly) simply requires you have the time for it, time you allow for it, time that is set aside that you will use for it. Otherwise, you shouldn't have wasted money on having the ability to do these things if you can't even do them because they're only good to do when they're random, take no time at all, and are not planned what so ever--due to that crossing the line (whatever proverbial line that is, anyways).

Playing on the weekend is setting aside time. Time that you're playing games as mentioned at the same time that most people you likely know and socialize with are most free and accessible. Time to neglect that, and play games, since its the weekend. Think about what you're essentially saying.

One should be setting specific time aside for gaming. The idea being to moderate how much time they spend and know that prioritizing is more important than getting into their game more. Set time to play. Use that time for that. This applies to nearly all things in life. Gaming is no different than reading a book, or studying, or whatever you wish. You make time, and use that time. Simple as that.

Very best,
November 11, 2008 4:37:06 AM

purplerat said:
If you’re filling every unused minute with gaming just because you have nothing better to do you’re probably more likely to run into a problem.

hmm that's exactly the situation I find myself in. May not be gaming but its always something on the computer :( 
November 11, 2008 6:43:20 AM

Well, i think anyone getting grief off their parents should just link them to this thread so that they can at least see you are thinking about it.
Which is as good as doing something about it, really.
!