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The good, bad and ugly.

Forum Old Man/Woman's Club : Other - The good, bad and ugly.

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qoop   07-25-2002 at 05:48:09 AM

Good: Wife is pregnant
Bad: It's Triplets
Ugly: You had a vasectomy five years ago
> > > > >
Good: Your wife is not talking to you
Bad: She wants a divorce
Ugly: She is a lawyer
> > > > >
Good: Your free loading son is finally maturing
Bad: He's involved with the woman next door
Ugly: So are you
> > > > >
Good: Your son studies a lot in his room
Bad: You find several porn movies hidden there
Ugly: You're in them
> > > > >
Good: Your Hubby and you agree, no more kids
Bad: You can't find your birth control pills
Ugly: Your daughter borrowed them
> > > > >
Good: Your husband understands fashion
Bad: He is a cross-dresser
Ugly: He looks better than you
> > > > >
Good: You give the "Birds and Bees" talk to your daughter
Bad: She keeps interrupting you
Ugly: With corrections
> > > > >
Good: The postman's early
Bad: He's wearing fatigues and carrying a shotgun
Ugly: You gave him nothing for Christmas
> > > > >
Good: Your son is dating someone new
Bad: It's another man.
Ugly: He's your best friend
> > > > >
Good: Your daughter got a new Job
Bad: As a Hooker
Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Way Ugly: She makes more money than you do.

Tee hee! =)

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

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pike   07-25-2002 at 05:58:50 AM
- 0 +

The`re all good, the hole bunch of em!
Did you make that "way ugly" one up?

<font color=purple><b>"Help Needed"! In bringing </font color=purple><font color=red>HEAVEN</font color=red><font color=purple> down to earth!</font color=purple>

Reply to pike
qoop   07-25-2002 at 06:00:33 AM
- 0 +

no...I got them in an e-mail from my friend. She might have though, she's a funny gal. =)

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
pike   07-25-2002 at 06:08:34 AM
- 0 +

Some are funny, but geez, some are so close to reality, I mean the one about the woman next door, um! Has that ever happened before? Of course not! Ya! Right!

<font color=purple><b>"Help Needed"! In bringing </font color=purple><font color=red>HEAVEN</font color=red><font color=purple> down to earth!</font color=purple>

Reply to pike
qoop   07-25-2002 at 06:10:58 AM
- 0 +

are you trying to tell me something? lol.

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
qoop   07-25-2002 at 06:13:47 AM
- 0 +

have you heard the song "hey mister" by Custom? That song is very true too....lol. That poor father. I don't let my dad near that song ever, he might have a heart attack thinking I'm like the girl in the song!

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
pike   07-25-2002 at 06:18:19 AM
- 0 +

nope, not trying to tell you nothing
nope, never heard that song, and maybe it best like that cause I have 3 young daughters and don`t wanna have a heart attack before they grow up and leave the house on their own

<font color=purple><b>"Help Needed"! In bringing </font color=purple><font color=red>HEAVEN</font color=red><font color=purple> down to earth!</font color=purple>

Reply to pike
qoop   07-25-2002 at 06:20:37 AM
- 0 +

lol...yeah that's true...don't EVER download that song. Not even if it's to save the world, cause you'll never look at your daughters the same way again. And you'll never let them within 1000 feet of a boy! lol.

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Simon5   07-25-2002 at 06:36:26 AM
- 0 +

This song ROCKS!
lol :)

Reply to Simon5
scamtrOn   07-25-2002 at 07:06:18 AM
- 0 +

mine is better

<b><font color=orange>sing to prolong HDD life; spin right round like a record baby Right round round round

Reply to scamtrOn
qoop   07-25-2002 at 07:26:08 AM
- 0 +

what is that?

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
OldBear   07-25-2002 at 08:44:09 AM
- 0 +

Scamy HDD rock.

<b><font color=green>Patience is being able to keep your light on after your fuse has blown.

Reply to OldBear
svol   07-25-2002 at 06:58:58 PM
- 0 +

LOL... they're good... and some are easy to imagine in real live.

Due to the current economical depression it is forbidden to laugh at work.

Reply to svol
Flamethrower205   07-25-2002 at 07:21:09 PM
- 0 +

Hmm, some of those r reality for the late poster Wusy.

My frog asked me for a straw...dunno what happened his ass all over the place :eek:

Reply to Flamethrower205
svol   07-25-2002 at 08:34:01 PM
- 0 +

Can you say which?

Due to the current economical depression it is forbidden to laugh at work.

Reply to svol
Flamethrower205   07-25-2002 at 09:56:55 PM
- 0 +

Hmm, #'s 3,4,5,6,9. hehe.

My frog asked me for a straw...dunno what happened his ass all over the place :eek:

Reply to Flamethrower205
pike   07-25-2002 at 10:31:48 PM
- 0 +

Ok, qoop!
Thanks for the warning.

<font color=purple><b>"Help Needed"! In bringing </font color=purple><font color=red>HEAVEN</font color=red><font color=purple> down to earth!</font color=purple>

Reply to pike
qoop   07-26-2002 at 12:26:51 AM
- 0 +

no problem, I don't want you going nuts for no reason. You might turn out like some of these other guys.

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-26-2002 at 03:11:27 AM
- 0 +

she hates me... my new favorite song

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-26-2002 at 04:38:00 AM
- 0 +

by Puddle of Mudd? I like that song too. Very funny.

<font color=purple>Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!
-the Crow.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Flamethrower205   07-26-2002 at 06:39:44 AM
- 0 +

I like that song Can't Get u Out of my head on the balley total fitness commercial :wink:

My frog asked me for a straw...dunno what happened his ass all over the place :eek:

Reply to Flamethrower205
Kelledin   07-26-2002 at 11:57:48 AM
- 0 +

Quote :

Caw, caw. BANG! Fvck I'm dead!



For a girl, you post just fine. :tongue:

<i>I can love my fellow man...but I'm damned if I'll love yours.</i>

P.S I must know your age before I begin sexually harassing you. I have no problem with being a lecherous rodentine child of unmarried parents, but I draw the line at being a pedophile. :eek: <P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by kelledin on 07/26/02 05:04 AM.</EM></FONT></P>

Reply to Kelledin
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 12:08:07 PM
- 0 +

...a man of principle......I like that.....welcome...

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
qoop   07-26-2002 at 03:44:48 PM
- 0 +

my sig is from the movie the Crow. It's my favourite line from it, so funny when he says it.

Quote :

I must know your age before I begin sexually harassing you


Please don't. I'm only 6 and my innocent eyes can't handle that. lol.

<font color=purple>I'm my own worst nightmare and dream come true, I'm my future and my past.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 03:56:38 PM
- 0 +

.....now even I wouldn't make a smutty reply to that....

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
qoop   07-26-2002 at 04:02:54 PM
- 0 +

lmao. Good.

<font color=purple>I'm my own worst nightmare and dream come true, I'm my future and my past.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 04:06:11 PM
- 0 +

....so at last I've impressed you??????........

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
qoop   07-26-2002 at 04:09:45 PM
- 0 +

yes for once. Then I read your other posts and the temporary insanity goes away.

<font color=purple>I'm my own worst nightmare and dream come true, I'm my future and my past.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 04:16:40 PM
- 0 +

......ah yes, my old friend insanity....welcome to my muck-splattered world.........

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
qoop   07-26-2002 at 04:22:00 PM
- 0 +

how did I know you were close friends with insanity? lol.

<font color=purple>I'm my own worst nightmare and dream come true, I'm my future and my past.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
svol   07-26-2002 at 04:24:03 PM
- 0 +

Clean that muck-splattered mess will ya?

Due to the current economical depression it is forbidden to laugh at work.

Reply to svol
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 04:31:07 PM
- 0 +

.....sure thing........slurp....slurp....slurp.....

...hey anyone got a straw??.......

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
svol   07-26-2002 at 04:36:01 PM
- 0 +

No that is only for kiddies...

Due to the current economical depression it is forbidden to laugh at work.

Reply to svol
WingDing   07-26-2002 at 04:43:39 PM
- 0 +

.......OK I'll use a shovel instead.......gulp....gulp....

:eek: I've got a grudge coz there's blood in my sludge... :eek:

Reply to WingDing
Kelledin   07-26-2002 at 05:51:54 PM
- 0 +

Quote :

My sig is from the movie the Crow. It's my favourite line from it, so funny when he says it.


Heheheh...and not too long after that came the line, "For a ghost, you bleed pretty damn good." :wink:

Tho my personal favorite was "Mother is the name for God, on the lips and hearts of all children."

<i>Veni, vidi, carpi DVD.</i> As for the sequel, though, I couldn't even be arsed to d/l the DivX.

Quote :

Please don't. I'm only 6 and my innocent eyes can't handle that. lol.


DOH! RotFL :lol:

<A HREF="http://skarpsey.dyndns.org/" target="_new">Skarpsey</A>

Reply to Kelledin
mbetea   07-26-2002 at 08:58:00 PM
- 0 +

good: a woman walks into a dark room you're in at a party.
bad: part way through you both realize she's your mother.
ugly: you keep going.

"Hey, you think Cleveland looks a little like Budapest?"

Reply to mbetea
silverpig   07-26-2002 at 09:50:32 PM
- 0 +

I posted the lyrics for that song on here a long time ago, back when it first came out...

hey mister, how'd it get so bad
you raised her so well now she's calling me dad
in the back seat naked of your new volkswagen
the perfect little gift for high school graduation

hehe


Sorta related but not quite as funny joke:

Bad: a guy fell out of an airplane
Good: he was wearing a parachute
Bad: it didn't work
Good: there was a haystack underneath him
Bad: there was a pitchfork in the haystack
Good: he missed the pitchfork
Bad: he missed the haystack

SPLAT!

:smile:

If my baby don't love me, I know, I know, her sister will.

Reply to silverpig
camieabz   07-26-2002 at 10:38:57 PM
- 0 +

Ugly: He landed in a cowpat.

<b><font color=blue>~ What do you mean "It isn't working!"...Now where's my sonic screwdriver? ~ </font color=blue></b>

Reply to camieabz
qoop   07-26-2002 at 10:58:19 PM
- 0 +

person 1> wanna hear a dirty joke?
person 2> sure.
person 1> a man fell in the mud.

person 1> wanna hear a clean joke?
person 2> ok.
person 1> he had a bath with bubbles.

person 1> wanna hear another dirty joke?
person 2> I guess.
person 1> Bubbles was his nextdoor neighbour's wife!

<font color=purple>I'm my own worst nightmare and dream come true, I'm my future and my past.</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 01:22:01 AM
- 0 +

What the hell is the title of that one song. You know.. damn it... I can't remember all the lyrics.... its something like what did you sell your soul for a chance at revenge and a bullet and a gun... someone.. .anyone

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-30-2002 at 01:44:58 AM
- 0 +

dunno sorry.

<font color=purple>Worst joke in the world: a man walked into a bar...ouch!</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 01:53:29 AM
- 0 +

damnit.

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-30-2002 at 01:54:10 AM
- 0 +

lol. sorry.

<font color=purple>Worst joke in the world: a man walked into a bar...ouch!</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 01:55:39 AM
- 0 +

:smile: bullet.. that's the name. It's by injected.

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 01:56:17 AM
- 0 +

"Bullet"

you're coming home to an empty space inside of you,
there's no other place.
you're wondering hard what you're here for,
but every night you still walk out that door.

you're just a screwed up kid,
who doesn't know who he is
fights the words in his head,
screams he's better off dead.
met a punk with a dis
wants a fight and now you're pissed
it's already too late
sawed off your hate

what did you sell your soul for?
was it a gun and a bullet and a chance at revenge?
you got props from your boys on the block,
a cross to bear that never ends
what did you sink so low for?
was it the time and the space and the spit in your face?
props from the cops and the court
a sin you can't erase

he caught you looking his way
hands in the air - what the hell'd ya say?
i know something sad but true
that [-peep-] was as scared as you.

you're just a screwed up kid,
who doesn't know who he is
fights the words in his head,
screams he's better off dead.
met a punk like you
what the [-peep-] you gonna do?
point the piece at his eyes
you never realized

sell it with a pistol in the sack.
they push you so hard, gonna push right back.
sell it and don't put up a fight
your life has just started but it all ends tonight.

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-30-2002 at 01:59:41 AM
- 0 +

oh ok then. =)

<font color=purple>Worst joke in the world: a man walked into a bar...ouch!</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 02:03:01 AM
- 0 +

I like it.

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-30-2002 at 02:21:07 AM
- 0 +

I can tell

<font color=purple>Worst joke in the world: a man walked into a bar...ouch!</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
Yahiko81   07-30-2002 at 02:32:05 AM
- 0 +

are you on cable?

<b>Agent</b> <b><font color=green>81</b></font color=green> :cool:

Reply to Yahiko81
qoop   07-30-2002 at 02:46:59 AM
- 0 +

no. dsl.

<font color=purple>Worst joke in the world: a man walked into a bar...ouch!</font color=purple>

Reply to qoop
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