Divorce

I am gonna be away from the forums for a little bit, going through a probable divorce, so I wont be around as much, I still want the mod job as it wont start for a while and I will be set up in my new domocile by then.

PS: im the initiator not the victim of said divorce so dont feel bad for me.

Heatsinks, if you dont overclock, use the <b>STOCK!</b>

Anyway good luck and come back soon.

PS: be careful with the kids if you have them.


<b>(<font color=yellow>as good as it looks</font color=yellow> )</b>

You just have the worst luck....

<font color=red>I'd like to dedicate this post to all my friends, family, and fans. Without them this post would never have been possible. Thank you!</font color=red>

Sorry to hear that. I hope you don't have any kids and can make a clean break. Look at this positively. Now you can date!

To start press any key. Where's the "any" key? --Homer Simpson.

2 kids, 400/month child support.

She still wants to work it out, but i am done about fed up, im not shutting her down most viciously though, its still amicable, but she did swipe my computer(im getting it back but she still took it which pissed me off)

Heatsinks, if you dont overclock, use the <b>STOCK!</b>

yeah. never get between a man and his true love

<b>I am an Emotional and Intellectual Strumpet! </b>

hey dude... sorry for what happened. None of us are perfect, and we all slip at times. All we can do though, is learn from our mistakes and apply them also. Since you do have kids, always show them your love, and do what's best for them... not what they would want. Kids will always be kids, and they may not know what's best for them, but you do. Spending time w/ them will never substitute things you may buy for them, so be cool w/ them and spend all the time you can w/ them, even if it means cutting back on time here in the forums... your personal life is more important than a forum... or atleast do it for the kids... show them that you care so that your wife can see divorce was a mistake and you 2 can get back 2gether.

The greatest risk of all is not taking one!

I hope you can work it out, and take the advice from other peoples around. Yoe have to learn from mistakes from others, because you don't live long enough to make them all your self.

<font color=red>duk-tape is like the force, it has a bright side and a dark side, and it keeps the universe together.</font color=red>

Ay ay, hope it turns out good. Good luck.

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When you look across the street to the grass there , it looks greener.
So you walk over there and get down on your knees to take a better look, then you notice that it's exactly the same grass.
Then you notice the grass across the street again, it looks greener...

So much wasted time and energy on personal "dramas" as globe says.

Your going to die my friend, at any moment, your going to die...now...do you still feel like going through it all?

<font color=green><b> Pigeons are making way abnormal eye contact...extraterrestrial consciousness at play here!</b></font color=green>

We talked and she has one more chance, I do wanna work it out for the kid's sake, this weekend has been good and she seems to honestly want to change the problems.

I'll keep thg updated(as if you guys cared heh)

Heatsinks, if you dont overclock, use the <b>STOCK!</b>

Ofcourse we care... we care for all our members.

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...there there...it'll be okay.....just let it all out...

Wingding - proof of the need for genetic screening

The kids, I know.
I wonder just how much they see in their parents eyes as far as them being happy or not. Perhaps it finally is better to be seperate but let them see happiness in their father and mother's eyes. Perhaps it's worst to "fake" a relationship for the sake of the kids.
Actually I'm talking to myself

But good luck to you

<font color=blue><b> Yes! Yes! I did say I would give a BJ! So what? Will I burn in hell because of it? lol</b></font color=blue>

Pike has been worrying me too. But I didn't have the balls to say it first.


<font color=red><i>Doctor Hooter</i></font color=red> <A HREF="http://www.page3.com/" target="_new"><b>(·Y·)</b></A>

Thanks for caring...we all have our personal life dramas, mine is not very different...perhaps only cause I'm SEEING mine unfold in front of me...man, it's moving fast at the moment...I move from total despere and infinit loneliness in the morning to total bliss and infinit love in the afternoon...there's a balance that's going to be struck any day now!



<font color=blue><b> Yes! Yes! I did say I would give a BJ! So what? Will I burn in hell because of it? lol</b></font color=blue>

Hey Matisaro, I didn't catch this thread until just now. (I really should check the 'Other' section more often...)

So anywho, I just wanted to say that I hope everything works out for the best, whatever that best may be. Obviously if you're even thinking divorce, then something is up. Talking it and walking it mean there's a significant problem somewhere. Maybe it can be worked out. Maybe it can't.

Some relationships last longer than others. People grow. People change. And sometimes, people don't. Because of that, sometimes relationships change too. Sometimes those differences can be worked out, and some times it's just best to walk seperate ways when these things happen. There's nothing 'wrong' there. It's life.

So if it's meant to be, then I hope things work out. If not, I hope you, the wife, and the kids all manage to do well anyway. Good luck to you. And if you feel 'guilty' for being 'selfish', don't. In the end what really matters is that <i>your</i> life is about <i>you</i> first, period. Anyone who says differently is just a martyr. So just do what's best for you and everything else will fall into place.

Don't worry about the kids. They'll turn out fine, or they won't. It's never really up to the parents. They're individuals after all, with their own minds and their own hearts. In the end they'll do what they will whether you 'teach' them to or not. So don't worry about them.

And don't worry about the wife either. She may not see it now, but if the relationship isn't going to work out, it'll do no one any good to 'stick it out', perhaps her most/least of all. Maybe someone else is out there who is 'perfect' for her, and she'd never have found had your relationship not 1) taught her something about herself and what she wants, and 2) ended to allow her to move on.

We never know what the future brings. So don't worry about it. Whatever is meant to happen will happen. Why? Because that's just how things work out. Heh heh. So just make sure not to neglect yourself in this, and be good to everyone.

Blah blah. I know. I'm <i>always</i> long-winded. So sue me. I just wanted you to know though that there's at least someone out here who isn't going to tell you that you 'should' (or even 'shouldn't) get back together. Just do what feels right. And if you want to talk, send an email my way. I'll try to answer within 48 hours. **ROFL**

Don't bother PMing though. I read those even less often than I visit the 'Other' section.

<pre><A HREF="http://www.nuklearpower.com/comic/186.htm" target="_new"><font color=red>It's all relative...</font color=red></A></pre><p>

Only if they <i>choose</i> to be damaged by it. Phychological 'damage' is simply holding on to the past. The only people who get 'damaged' are the ones that can't let go of an issue. And believe me, if it isn't divorce, it'll be something else, or someone else. People who suffer psychological trauma like that don't need any one event. They'll find something, whether you give it to them or not. There are <i>always</i> things that can traumatize people, and no parent in the world can protect their kids from all of them.

Besides, no parent in the world <i>should</i> protect their kids from all of them. The purpose of a parent is to raise your kids to be self-sufficient and strong individuals. They have to learn to be themselves. You can't raise anyone to be like that if you're constantly coddling them and holding their hand everywhere you go. At some point in time a parent has to let their kid run around and get a scraped knee. Or in this case, let their kid understand that relationships don't always work out and though you still love them, you won't always be there for them.

Yeah, sure, they'll probably be upset for a while. Maybe they'll even grow up hating you. (Though that's extremely rare from what I've heard as even when that does happen, usually at some point in their life they change their mind and decide to get to know their long-lost parent.) But the point is, there will be plenty of things in their life that can 'emotionally scar' them. The sooner they get used to it and learn that you can get through them without it being the end of the world, then the stronger they'll be when they grow up.

The most mature people that I've ever met have come out of divorced (and/or otherwise 'abnormal') homes. In <i>most</i> of them the kids had great relationships with both parents still. In the cases that didn't, it was always because one parent or another was not behaving like a good parent. (I.E. ignoring the kid and/or 'buying' their affection with gifts instead of time spent with them, or even in one case where the mother kept telling lies about the father so that the kids never trusted him, even though he was the nicest guy in the world.)

But if you love your kids and show it, then your relationship with them won't really suffer. I mean sooner or later they'll grow up and move out of the home anyway. How often do you see them then? Changing/ending relationships are just a part of life.

Besides, we <i>all</i> could probably use a good visit with a shrink every now and then just to get $#!+ off of our chests. Why deprive them of the opportunity?

<pre><A HREF="http://www.nuklearpower.com/comic/186.htm" target="_new"><font color=red>It's all relative...</font color=red></A></pre><p>

I don't think anyone chooses to be damaged by a unhealthy family. People don't choose to hold onto the past. They don't choose to repress memories and hold deep seated grudges. I think you're thinking of older children, Matts are young. Young children are flexible, but not indestructible. They need good role models and a healthy family life to grow up with. Divorce is not a scraped knee.

Parent's mean everything to children. That doesn't mean they can't be everything while being divorced (as you said), but marriage shouldn't just be brushed off as a legal binding and nothing more. It's "supposed" to be the most sacred bond two people can have.

Besides, that, everyone comes from a screwed up family. Why make it worse if you don't have to? Some things are worth fighting for, and if you got to the point of marriage I should hope that you would do everything and anything to save it.

Maybe that's just me though. I would do anything for my wife, anything. If I had kids, I'm sure I'd do even more.

In the end though I still think that if two people can't stand each other they'll probably do more damage to their kids by staying together than by divorcing. It should be the last step in a very long process of trying to work things out.


<font color=red>I'd like to dedicate this post to all my friends, family, and fans. Without them this post would never have been possible. Thank you!</font color=red>

Yeah, I can't beleive now divorce is like a hobby.
Looking in the past, it was the devil's move.
Still, my home country really has a RARE amount of divorces, thank goodness for traditionalist attitudes.

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Just to play the devil's advocate: how come for years divorces were uncommon? Are they really a fact of life? Or is it just people getting tired of their husband/wife and wanting out instead of taking the time to work things out?

In a world without <font color=red>walls </font color=red>or <font color=green>fences </font color=green>, what use have we for <font color=red>Windows </font color=red>or <font color=green>Gates.</font color=green>

That divorce is a fact of life.

In a world without <font color=red>walls </font color=red>or <font color=green>fences </font color=green>, what use have we for <font color=red>Windows </font color=red>or <font color=green>Gates.</font color=green>

I agree there are very hard times in a marriage, and at times they will not work out. But there are a lot of cases where the couple is just not willing to work out the problems.

If your wife will put up with you being away so much I really have to respect her. And it must be hard on you to not be able to see your wife or your son. But I hope it all works out well in your situation.

If you do end up going to Halifax, I hope it isn't for the winter. Here in Victoria we get some nice mild winters.

In a world without <font color=red>walls </font color=red>or <font color=green>fences </font color=green>, what use have we for <font color=red>Windows </font color=red>or <font color=green>Gates.</font color=green>

I have 3 friends who have gotten divorced, out of four friends who have gotten married.

1. Friend one, a good friend, we told him not to marry her. She was a horrible person and they were divorced in less than a year, but with a kid.
2. Friend two, more of an aquantence, one kid, divorced. Not sure why. He just advises people to not get married to avoid getting divorced.
3. Friend three, married friend one's sister, three kids, divorced because sister lost her mind. I don't understand at all why they couldn't work things out until she was able to cope with life again.

All in all, 5 kids (not including the fact that the women in 1 and 2 both had 1 kid in a previous marraige that they abandoned), so that's 7 kids affected by divorce out of my married friends.

That of course doesn't include one other friend who is married, has no kids, but cheats (or trys) on his wife every 5 seconds. That won't last.

Really sad imop.

Fact of life or just a bunch of people getting married when they shouldn't? People not trying hard enough? I don't know, depends on your experiences.

<font color=red>I'd like to dedicate this post to all my friends, family, and fans. Without them this post would never have been possible. Thank you!</font color=red>

That's the thing, I keep telling people NOT TO TAKE stuff for granted, now marriage lies there. People now consider it a hobby as well, so they think they can easily rat out by divorcing. Ultimately they should create a sub-marriage level, one where they stick together legally until they believe they belong together, then get married and get the marriage laws.
Seriously, I don't beleive in those love at first sight=marriage situations, personally, unless you have lived or been with the person for at least a year, forget marriage, you're only rushing things and closing the gap on finding more secrets or stuff about the other, you never knew.

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