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IBM Files Application to Patent The Patent Process

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January 3, 2011 9:50:52 PM

This is frightening... This system MUST be fixed.
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January 3, 2011 9:52:50 PM

Maybe I should file a patent on how to patent a patent process. :D 
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January 3, 2011 9:53:16 PM

I don't think there is any chance that this will come to pass. But, then again i've seen out patient system to much worse...
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January 3, 2011 9:58:30 PM

LOL This is getting silly. Apple should patent the process by which a programmer writes apps. In other words, they should patent nerds behind a desk typing code.

Then Blizzard should patent the playstyle of WoW players. In other words, scrawny nerds in white "muscle" shirts sitting at desks covered in empty Mountain Dew bottles/cans who haven't showered or combed their hair in days.

Once they're all done, I will patent the template used for filing a lawsuit against someone who you feel has violated your patent.
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January 3, 2011 10:02:17 PM

Quote:
Once they're all done, I will patent the template used for filing a lawsuit against someone who you feel has violated your patent.


Quote:
The company felt it would be beneficial to patent the patent strategy process all the way from training inventors, to competitor monitoring and protecting (i.e. suing someone) a patent from infringement.
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January 3, 2011 10:27:38 PM

hmmm...i could get very rich by patenting mental masturbation. this is all i am seeing in the industry now days
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January 3, 2011 10:40:30 PM

I should patent breathing, I'd be the richest moron out there.
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January 3, 2011 10:45:49 PM

milkteaMaybe I should file a patent on how to patent a patent process.

No no, the key here is to file a patent on how to fix the patent process first and have outrageous licensing fees so no one can fix the patent process without paying you enormous sums. Then you start making the patents that game the system.
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January 3, 2011 10:51:09 PM

Say what??
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January 3, 2011 11:00:11 PM

seems like everything should be patented these days.
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January 3, 2011 11:12:47 PM

Soon, we'll all be paying Apple, IBM, Microsoft, Google, AMD, Intel and nVidia...just for being alive...
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January 4, 2011 12:08:45 AM

sick world we live in...

anyone interested in trademarking the word "patent"??
or how a human being make a logical thinking??
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January 4, 2011 12:35:05 AM

Well well, how are we going to process the patent to patent the patent process? XD
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January 4, 2011 12:39:41 AM

Patenet the patent the who what of a what what?

I have an Idea...let's fry the patent system and stick to trademarks. Ideally, in thought though, trademarks are much more beneficial and more innovative than a patenet. A patenet says "Mine", the trademark says "Recognize me a the origianl and I will pat you on the back."

I am not saying it si right...just a Theory...and no one should use it against me.
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January 4, 2011 12:47:36 AM

According to Wikipedia a patent is:

A set of exclusive rights granted by a state (national government) to an inventor or their assignee for a limited period of time in exchange for a public disclosure of an invention.

Let's all just patent the obvious. IBM isn't inventing anything but a headache.
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January 4, 2011 1:04:07 AM

Why don't we invent a system that pays me instead of the inventors for inventions?

I'll patent that!
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January 4, 2011 2:27:58 AM

I will patent the thinking process and license all thought on the cheap.
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January 4, 2011 3:19:44 AM

Well I will patent dreams and the REM sleep process.
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January 4, 2011 3:31:50 AM

I'm going to patent living. If you want to live, you've got to pay me royalties.
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January 4, 2011 5:01:24 AM

Why not patent the US of A constitution so that you get royalty in every country that copies it. lols,,,
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January 4, 2011 5:50:18 AM

if they dont do it Apple will
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January 4, 2011 6:21:03 AM

arlandisick world we live in...
Did you mean sick USA I live in? :) 
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January 4, 2011 10:22:28 AM

The US patent system is going to make economic recovery much much longer than it needs to be, since a broken patent system certainly isn't going to attract any investors.
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January 4, 2011 11:29:52 AM

This system is crazy... soon there will patents for soup, or how to open a door... common sense is out of the Patent Office minds it seems.
The real scary part is how do you know you're not infringing some patent? If I invent a new beer can opener will I violate the patent to use levers? Or the patent to use my fingers in a twisting motion? Or use of my eyes to operate tools in my hands?
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January 4, 2011 11:36:36 AM

Someone should copyright the word patent and then sue IBM for trying to ever speak the word.
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January 4, 2011 1:00:32 PM

DavidtjorgeThis system is crazy... soon there will patents for soup, or how to open a door... common sense is out of the Patent Office minds it seems.The real scary part is how do you know you're not infringing some patent? If I invent a new beer can opener will I violate the patent to use levers? Or the patent to use my fingers in a twisting motion? Or use of my eyes to operate tools in my hands?


1. There are patents for soup don't worry.
2. There are patents that describe the way a door could be opened ranging from obvious logic to super high tech doors.
3. You don't know, you need to do research or hire some one to do it for you and while a new patent costs you a fortune to register the research costs even more.

If you want to actually create your invention you need to do it offshore in any western country that doesn't have your invention patented or those that recognize male cow dump patents. If your product is selling well enough you can pay the license fee and start shipping it to the us or you could let a 3th party import it and circumvent patents that way. This is how to live with patents in a nutshell and not an easy solution.
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January 4, 2011 1:05:21 PM

I am going to patent the process of shooting the middle finger.
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January 4, 2011 1:09:39 PM

I should patent the use of a fruit as a logo. I would have a great retirement by suing and/or licensing so many magical devices.
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January 4, 2011 2:04:25 PM

All of this hype makes no sense.

We have NO IDEA of the Patent application CLAIMS. Again, for the 1,000,000,000,000,000,000th time... it is the claims which define the monopoly of the patent; NOT the title of the application, not the description part, not the drawings...

Here, the so-called "journalist," does not inform us as to the claims on record nor does he give us the application number so that we may check for ouselves. This is NOT journalism...
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January 4, 2011 2:36:27 PM

IBM is filing this for three reasons: 1) to highlight the ineffectiveness of the US patent system, 2) to protect themselves against such a spurious patent being filed successfully by someone else, and 3) to provide themselves with ammunition against any and all future spurious patent claims by patent trolls. "Oh, you claim we violated your patent by developing high-K transistors? Then, I suppose we should inform you of your violation of OUR patent to file patents and sit on them. Since all of your revenues are generated by that process, all your base are belong to us."

IBM also patented the patent-troll process and business model, again for similar reasons.
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January 4, 2011 2:37:08 PM

You know...the PTO is also granting patents for biologics, such as particular proteins, somatic cells, gene sequences. I want to patent the process of a muscle operated diaphragm for the purpose of drawing air into the lungs. Everyone who breathes must pay me royalties, unless they choose not to breathe.
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January 4, 2011 3:40:30 PM

Prior Art. 'nuff said.
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January 4, 2011 4:08:33 PM

cyborg28Prior Art. 'nuff said.


only applicable if we know scope of claims... since we have no idea of what the claims say; no one can say PRIOR ART as if it was a magical statement against patentability... 'nuff said.
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January 4, 2011 5:06:31 PM

IBM and Microsoft are probably the worst patent trolls I have ever seen. They make so many patents but only use them for retribution or to get companies to do stuff. They know nothing about how to make millions on suing for stupid shit. I mean IBM is such a bad troll, they let anyone use their patents as long as you let everyone in IBM's network openly use your patents. What is up with that?
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January 4, 2011 5:22:50 PM

Hopefully this is an attempt by IBM to satirize and bring more attention to the currently laughable patent process.
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January 4, 2011 5:27:54 PM

falchardIBM and Microsoft are probably the worst patent trolls I have ever seen. They make so many patents but only use them for retribution or to get companies to do stuff. They know nothing about how to make millions on suing for stupid shit. I mean IBM is such a bad troll, they let anyone use their patents as long as you let everyone in IBM's network openly use your patents. What is up with that?

So IBM is bad cause they let other companies use their innovations in return for using that companies innovations? Seems fair to me really, unless you suggest IBM just let others use their tech for free (which BTW IBM and Microsoft do allow on a lot of things), both those companies hold so many patents they could easily sink most of the industry from patent suits alone. Yet they allow free use on many of them and just let it go and only ask for licensing fees on the very important ones.
Those 2 companies you mention are very lenient with their patents when you consider how much they could be suing and destroying companies for no reason other then to be spiteful yet they don't.
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January 4, 2011 6:50:57 PM

I am going to patent taking a crap.
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January 4, 2011 7:51:17 PM

CamikaziSo IBM is bad cause they let other companies use their innovations in return for using that companies innovations? Seems fair to me really, unless you suggest IBM just let others use their tech for free (which BTW IBM and Microsoft do allow on a lot of things), both those companies hold so many patents they could easily sink most of the industry from patent suits alone. Yet they allow free use on many of them and just let it go and only ask for licensing fees on the very important ones.Those 2 companies you mention are very lenient with their patents when you consider how much they could be suing and destroying companies for no reason other then to be spiteful yet they don't.

This is why they are terrible patent trolls. They are not trolling.
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Anonymous
January 4, 2011 11:17:01 PM

This article is terribly edited for grammar and clarity. Rare for this site.
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January 5, 2011 11:23:58 PM

falchardThis is why they are terrible patent trolls. They are not trolling.

No they are not trolls, they actual do it right they protect their IP but allow others to use it (free for the most part) to progress technology as a whole, they license out important and needed tech to others and only throw their weight around when some big company decides they will try and use their tech without permission. They are not like Apple who will use the patents to try and shut down any competitors who get in their way (going for HTC when they couldn't stop Google directly).
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April 20, 2011 5:52:41 PM

lol
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Anonymous
August 30, 2011 2:31:45 PM

IBM is getting ready to topple VMware and Microsoft's strong hold on virtualization and cloud. This new partnership will definitely start the wheels for them. Here is more about the partnership: http://cloudtechsite.com/blogp...
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