Deep Thoughts by THGC...post em!!

I wish I was Bill Gates accountant.

<b><font color=blue>~ <A HREF="http://forums.btvillarin.com/index.php?act=ST&f=41&t=324&s=58e94ba84a16bedfebbf0f416d5bac48" target="_new">System Specs</A> ~<font color=blue></b>

Here's a couple:
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?

One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with a wooden stake.

There's nothing so tragic as seeing a family pulled apart by something as simple as a pack of wolves.

Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.

I have to laugh when I think of the first cigar, because it was probably just a bunch of rolled-up tobacco leaves.

I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.

Love can sweep you off your feet and carry you along in a way you've never known before. But the ride always ends, and you end up feeling lonely and bitter. Wait. It's not love I'm describing. I'm thinking of a monorail.

Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants.

Any man, in the right situation, is capable of murder. But not any man is capable of being a good camper. So, murder and camping are not as similar as you might think.

To me, it's a good idea to always carry two sacks of something when you walk around. That way, if anybody says, "Hey, can you give me a hand?" You can say, "Sorry, got these sacks."

If you lived in the Dark Ages and you were a catapult operator, I bet the most common question people would ask is, "Can't you make it shoot farther?" "No, I'm sorry. That's as far as it shoots."

If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe by shoving them down his throat).

I can picture in my mind a world without war, a world without hate. And I can picture us attacking that world, because they'd never expect it.

Instead of a trap door, what about a trap window? The guy looks out it, and if he leans too far, he falls out. Wait. I guess that's like a regular window.

If I ever get real rich, I hope I'm not real mean to poor people, like I am now.

When I found the skull in the woods, the first thing I did was call the police. But then I got curious about it. I picked it up, and started wondering who this person was, and why he had deer horns.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.

It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

When you go in for a job interview, I think a good thing to ask is if they ever press charges.

We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can't scoff at them personally, to their faces, and this is what annoys me.

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown and attached to the skull by common wood screws, can make a child look like a deer.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someone's neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

If you're a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it's real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you.

Children need encouragement. If a kid gets an answer right, tell him it was a lucky guess. That way he develops a good, lucky feeling.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

I think the mistake a lot of us make is thinking the state-appointed shrink is our friend.

If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose.


War Eagle

Well there goes this thread...lol.

My <A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=faq¬found=1&code=1" target="_new">Virtual Fight Club</A> is doing so well I might make a sequel!

of all my uncles, uncle caveman was my favorite. we called him uncle caveman because he lived in a cave and would occasionaly eat one of us. we later found out uncle caveman was a bear

<i><font color=red>What you need and everything you'll feel is just a question of the deal In the eye of storm just think of the lonely dove the experience of survival is the key to the gravity of love</font color=red></i>

Lol...that is a good one!

My <A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=faq¬found=1&code=1" target="_new">Virtual Fight Club</A> is doing so well I might make a sequel!

Had to post this one, it cracked me up.


I bet it was pretty hard to pick up girls if you had the Black Death.



My <A HREF="http://forumz.tomshardware.com/modules.php?name=Forums&file=faq¬found=1&code=1" target="_new">Virtual Fight Club</A> is doing so well I might make a sequel!

Well, if I gave a rat's a$$ about post-count, I could waste really boost mine by posting the whole list of them on that website one by one...

Yeah, the Black Death one is good. That's in the list I posted above, which is just a list I had of my favorites.

War Eagle<P ID="edit"><FONT SIZE=-1><EM>Edited by Auburn9698 on 04/22/03 02:28 PM.</EM></FONT></P>

I remember that one fateful day when Coach took me aside. I knew what was coming. "You don't have to tell me," I said. "I'm off the team, aren't I?" "Well," said Coach, "you never were really ON the team. You made that uniform you're wearing out of rags and towels, and your helmet is a toy space helmet. You show up at practice and then either steal the ball and make us chase you to get it back, or you try to tackle people at inappropriate times." It was all true what he was saying. And yet, I thought something is brewing inside the head of this Coach. He sees something in me, some kind of raw talent that he can mold. But that's when I felt the handcuffs go on.



<i><font color=red>What you need and everything you'll feel is just a question of the deal In the eye of storm just think of the lonely dove the experience of survival is the key to the gravity of love</font color=red></i>

If you're in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at the enemy, throw one of those small pumpkins. Maybe it'll make everyone think how stupid war is, and while they are thinking, you can throw a real grenade at them.


<i><font color=red>What you need and everything you'll feel is just a question of the deal In the eye of storm just think of the lonely dove the experience of survival is the key to the gravity of love</font color=red></i>

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy

<i><font color=red>What you need and everything you'll feel is just a question of the deal In the eye of storm just think of the lonely dove the experience of survival is the key to the gravity of love</font color=red></i>