In *MOST* cases an aftermarket HSF is better than OEM or what is 'AMD approved'. Most addon's are better performers than what is the minimum recommendation. I highly doubt you'll have any real problems with the one you ordered. It may not be the biggest/baddest, but I'm sure it'd good. Whether or not it'll limit your OC'ing remains to be seen. Just watch the temps and stability. Cooler is better in most situations, but you shouldn't have any issues with extreme temps. If you do, just back down the CPU FSB a little until you get a 'comfortable' temp for yourself.
As for lapping, it's a pretty word for sanding. I really don't think it'll be necessary. All pourous metals have high and low spots. Unless you get a really bad one(in other words inspect the contact point, see how smooth it is). The smoother it is, the better the contact between the sink and the core, and the more heat it can transfer. Unless you see some major imperfections, I wouldn't worry too much, the silver will fill in the minute scars that all metals have. If it makes you feel better get a fine grit paper 300+ and run it across the bottom. Just make sure you clean it real well afterwards(air, isopropyl(rubbing)alcohol, to clean off any dust you removed. Don't worry so much, you'll be fine. Even a poor heatsink won't cause instant failure of a CPU. High temps over a long time will. If you run at 55 OC'd, you may lose a little life of your CPU(or stability) rather than someone with a monster sink that runs at 40 C. I can't remember what the temp max is for the XP's but I know that for 1 Ghz+ T-birds the high side of temps was in the 90 C range(around 190 F if you're American like myself). I've never seen a HSF get near there, even the OEM's. But lower CPU is better. Most of us here are fanatics and want cool systems for show and peace of mind. My 950 T-bird ran at 50+ for over a year and is still running with no issues. Don't worry unless you have extremely high temps when you get it installed.
Save heating costs on your home, overclock your PC!!!