Monitoring is no good if you can't adjust. Sounds like you need a remote access system. The easiest/simplest that I know of is logmein. No need for free DNS as you sign in through the website. From there, you can act like your sitting at your computer. The free version doesn't support file transfer from remote to local PC, but you should be able to run PCProbe or any other monitoring program. If something is out of whack you should be able to turn programs on/off.
Give it a shot, and if anyone has better remote software I'd love to hear about them.