Jokes for Today.

After a long night of making love, the young guy rolled over, pulled out a cigarette from his jeans and searched for his lighter.

Unable to find it, he asked the girl if she had one at hand. "There might be some matches in the top drawer," she replied.

He opened the drawer of the bedside table and found a box of matches sitting neatly on top of a framed picture of another man.
Naturally, the guy began to worry.

"Is this your husband?" he inquired nervously.

"No, silly," she replied, snuggling up to him.

"Your boyfriend then?" he asked.

"No, not at all," she said, nibbling away at his ear.

"Well, who is he then?" demanded the bewildered guy.

Calmly, the girl replied, "That's me before the operation."

===============================================
Sick Chain Mail
===============================================
My name is Jenna.....I am 7 years old with blonde hair and scary eyes. I have no nose or ears.... i am dead. If you do not send this 15 people in the next 5 minutes I will appear tonight by your bed with a knife and kill you.. this is no joke. Something good will happen to you tonight at 9:22. This is not a joke. Someone will either call you or will talk to you online and say that they love you. Do not break this!!

<A HREF="http://poetry.rotten.com/blonde/0005/blondy5.jpg" target="_new">http://poetry.rotten.com/blonde/0005/blondy5.jpg</A>




<b><i>"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"</b></i>

fvck

i was at work. thanks!



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<A HREF="http://www.quake3world.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001355.html" target="_new">*I hate thug gangstas*</A>

Thanks for the warnings guys, I think Im better off not looking at it right?

Your mouse has moved, Windows will now reboot

Q: What's black and blue and doesn't like to have sex with me?

A: The little boy locked in the trunk of my car.

Je bent de meest onverschillige hasj dealende hoer die ik ooit heb ontmoet.
<b><font color=green>hagedis</font color=green></b>,<b><font color=green>hagedis</font color=green></b>
Svol heeft een reusachtige worst

There is a man in the bathroom taking a leak. All of the sudden he sees this midget standing beside him looking at his balls. All of the sudden the midget says "Those are the nicest balls I've ever seen" The guy not knowing what to say thanked the midget. Then the midget said "May I hold them?" The guy thought about it for a second and then decided what could it hurt. So he let him. The midget climbed up on the urnial and grabbed the guys balls tightly and then said "Give me your wallet or I jump!"

Je bent de meest onverschillige hasj dealende hoer die ik ooit heb ontmoet.
<b><font color=green>hagedis</font color=green></b>,<b><font color=green>hagedis</font color=green></b>
Svol heeft een reusachtige worst

sometimes this place really pisses me off.

that was NOT appropriate. yes, i know ive had anal sex with Wingding here.. but that was just not right.

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<A HREF="http://www.quake3world.com/ubb/Forum1/HTML/001355.html" target="_new">*I hate thug gangstas*</A>

WTF!?! What is wrong with you PooBaa? This is just plain sick!.

I love my Delta 60HP 7000 RPM fan that puts out more dB then CFM

bad dh

<font color=orange><b>"x: who... the bald guy?
y: ssshhhhh!!! he might hear you
x: its ok, i'm sure he knows he's bald"

oh god. that was the most disturbing thing I've seen here, and that's saying a lot. Don't fear my friends! I'll save this thread!

25 Interesting Things That You Learn About Computers in The Movies...

1. Word processors never display a cursor.

2. You never have to use the spacebar when typing long sentences.

3. All monitors display 2 inch high letters.

4. High-tech computers, such as those used by NASA, the CIA, or some such governmental institution, have easy-to-understand graphical interfaces.

5. Those that don't will have incredibly powerful text-based command shells that can correctly understand and execute commands typed in plain English.

6. Corollary: You can gain access to any information you want by simply typing "ACCESS ALL OF THE SECRET FILES" on any keyboard.

7. Likewise, you can infect a computer with a destructive virus by simply typing "UPLOAD VIRUS." Viruses cause temperatures in computers, just like they do in humans. After a while, smoke billows out of disk drives and monitors.

8. All computers are connected. You can access the information on the villain's desktop computer, even if it's turned off.

9. Powerful computers beep whenever you press a key or whenever the screen changes. Some computers also slow down the output on the screen so that it doesn't go faster than you can read. The *really* advanced ones also emulate the sound of a dot-matrix printer as the characters come across the screen.

10. All computer panels have thousands of volts and flash pots just underneath the surface. Malfunctions are indicated by a bright flash, a puff of smoke, a shower of sparks, and an explosion that forces you backward. See #7, above)

11. People typing away on a computer will turn it off without saving the data.

12. A hacker can get into the most sensitive computer in the world before intermission and guess the secret password in two tries.

13. Any PERMISSION DENIED has an OVERRIDE function.

14. Complex calculations and loading of huge amounts of data will be accomplished in under three seconds. In the movies, modems transmit data at two gigabytes per second.

15. When the power plant/missile site/whatever overheats, all the control panels will explode, as will the entire building.

16. If you display a file on the screen and someone deletes the file, it also disappears from the screen. There are no ways to copy a backup file -- and there are no undelete utilities.

17. If a disk has got encrypted files, you are automatically asked for a password when you try to access it.

18. No matter what kind of computer disk it is, it'll be readable by any system you put it into. All application software is usable by all computer platforms.

19. The more high-tech the equipment, the more buttons it has. However, everyone must have been highly trained, because the buttons aren't labelled.

20. Most computers, no matter how small, have reality-defying three-dimensional, real-time, photo-realistic animated graphics capability.

21. Laptops, for some strange reason, always seem to have amazing real-time video phone capabilities and the performance of a CRAY-MP.

22. Whenever a character looks at a VDU, the image is so bright that it projects itself onto his/her face.

23. Computers never crash during key, high-intensity activities. Humans operating computers never make mistakes under stress.

24. Programs are fiendishly perfect and never have bugs that slow down users.

25. Any photograph can have minute details pulled out of it. You can zoom into any picture as far as you want to. Example: "What's that fuzzy thing in the corner? I don't know, let's check. It's the murder weapon! Let's look under the bed for the killers shoes. no, just some comics books (Marvel 1954, very rare). Let's check the closet shelves...!"

<font color=red>Crack Addict=Baaaaad </font color=red>
<font color=green>THG Addict=Goooooood </font color=green>
<A HREF="http://www.tylersite.8k.com/photo.html " target="_new">http://www.tylersite.8k.com/photo.html </A>

Yep. Im evil. I personally blame my Hamster.
Though you really should have known by now how evil I am. It must be my picture. People say I look Innocent. MMMWOOO HAA HAA HAA


<b><i>"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"</b></i>

EfuckingW

<font color=orange><b>"x: who... the bald guy?
y: ssshhhhh!!! he might hear you
x: its ok, i'm sure he knows he's bald"

That is so damn sick. I'm sorry but that is just raunchy. YAK!!!!

<A HREF="http://forums.btvillarin.com/index.php?act=ST&f=41&t=389&s=1fee5dab901bebe29da7aa1c2658fc6f" target="_new"><font color=red>dhlucke's system</font color=red></A>

<font color=blue>GOD</font color=blue> <font color=red>BLESS</font color=red> <font color=blue>AMERICA</font color=blue>

ROFL. nice one matey

<b><i>"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"</b></i>

and me too. me and oldiebear had great chats.

<b><i>"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"</b></i>

Yeah, I know a few other places where he hides out

He hasn't been around much, and I've been busy with work and stuff lately too. It's too bad really. I wish I talked with him more. Gotta do a catch up soon.

Some day I'll be rich and famous for inventing a device that allows you to stab people in the face over the internet.

poo? but he is so sweet!!

<font color=orange><b>"x: who... the bald guy?
y: ssshhhhh!!! he might hear you
x: its ok, i'm sure he knows he's bald"