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The ULTIMATE firewall

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Anonymous
a b 8 Security
August 2, 2004 10:50:44 AM

Archived from groups: comp.security.firewalls (More info?)

Installation Instructions

For best effect, install the firewall between the CPU unit and the
wall outlet. Place the jaws of the firewall across the power cord, and
bear down firmly. Be sure to wear rubber gloves while installing the
firewall or assign the task to a junior system manager ;-) If the
firewall is installed properly, all the lights on the CPU will turn dark
and the fans will grow quiet. This indicates that the system has entered
a secure state..

For Internet use, install the firewall between the demarcation point
of the T1 to the Internet. Place the jaws of the firewall across the T1
line lead, and bear down firmly. When your Internet service provider's
network operations center calls to inform you that they have lost
connectivity to your site, the firewall is correctly installed.
If I had a dollar....If I had a dollar for every time I've seen
someone post "I need a 100% secure firewall, that lets me do everything"
I'd be retired by now.

The fact is, that if you're connecting your network to anything else,
you're running a risk. Period. Usually, that risk can be reduced, often
dramatically, by employing basic security precautions such as firewalls.
But a firewall is a risk reduction system, it is not a risk mitigation
system -- there is, always, some danger that something can go fatally
wrong with anything built by humans.

The firewall above is the only 100% guaranteed secure solution.

More about : ultimate firewall

Anonymous
a b 8 Security
August 2, 2004 10:50:45 AM

Archived from groups: comp.security.firewalls (More info?)

<plonk>

Duane :) 
Anonymous
a b 8 Security
August 2, 2004 5:45:09 PM

Archived from groups: comp.security.firewalls (More info?)

My entire office is ROFL!

Node_Runner wrote:
> *Installation Instructions
>
> For best effect, install the firewall between the CPU unit and the
> wall outlet. Place the jaws of the firewall across the power cord,
> and
> bear down firmly. Be sure to wear rubber gloves while installing the
> firewall or assign the task to a junior system manager ;-) If the
> firewall is installed properly, all the lights on the CPU will turn
> dark
> and the fans will grow quiet. This indicates that the system has
> entered
> a secure state..
>
> For Internet use, install the firewall between the demarcation point
> of the T1 to the Internet. Place the jaws of the firewall across the
> T1
> line lead, and bear down firmly. When your Internet service
> provider's
> network operations center calls to inform you that they have lost
> connectivity to your site, the firewall is correctly installed.
> If I had a dollar....If I had a dollar for every time I've seen
> someone post "I need a 100% secure firewall, that lets me do
> everything"
> I'd be retired by now.
>
> The fact is, that if you're connecting your network to anything
> else,
> you're running a risk. Period. Usually, that risk can be reduced,
> often
> dramatically, by employing basic security precautions such as
> firewalls.
> But a firewall is a risk reduction system, it is not a risk
> mitigation
> system -- there is, always, some danger that something can go
> fatally
> wrong with anything built by humans.
>
> The firewall above is the only 100% guaranteed secure solution. *
--
wjoyce
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