Rubber Ducky

When I was in the Navy there was a guy called Rubber Ducky, he was trying to get a section 8, basically declared mentally incompetent, out of the blue he'd just start singing, "Rubber Ducky, You're the One, You make Bathtime Lots of Fun, Rubber Ducky I'm so in Love With YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!" so we nicknamed him Rubber Ducky. One night about 6 of us were playing cards with Rubber Ducky, when a big cockroach crawled up on the table and started to run across it, Rubber Ducky reached out, grabbed it, put it in his mouth and started to chew it up, he smiled and there was a cockroach leg sticking out between his teeth. You never saw a room clear out so fast.

This is a true story, anyone else got one?



<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

Don't get me going on stories!!!!



Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

Well lets hear it Flamey!

<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

That dude should be on Fear Factor.

What other kinds of true stories ya lookin' for? Gross ones? I've got one.....can't recall if I've told it on here before, or not (beer doesn't help the memory, does it?).

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>

<A HREF="http://www.spacecat.com/bert/bert.htm" target="_new">Bert is Evil</A>

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<font color=red>12 bit... The way games are meant to be played!</font color=red>

Eatin' roaches, sober, without any $50,000 payday for it, eh? Yeah, he must have wanted out pretty bad.

What about the story criteria?

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>

EWWWW but LOL!

Cockroaches, oh my god, trauma memories coming back...

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<A HREF="http://www.lochel.com/THGC/album.html" target="_new"><font color=blue><b>This just in, over 56 no-lifers have their pics up on THGC's Photo Album! </b></font color=blue></A>

Here's a story about Crazy Larry the Pyromaniac for you.

Larry is the pyro of the group. Any time a fire is needed such as camping, cooking or just getting rid of things, all you have to do is say "Larry Fire". That's all there is to it. He'll drag the biggest logs up to burn. He won't stop either.

Well a friend of ours bought a old farm the he was remodeling. It had a barn on it that was totally unsafe. The floor had fallen in on itself. It need to be torn down. He knew that would cost to much. Then he got to thinking about Crazy Larry's pyro talents. He figures he'll kill 2 birds with one stone, well maybe 3. He says to Larry, "I'll buy a keg of beer & some hot dogs & throw a bonfire party, that is if you want to tear down the barn & make the fire". We never saw the grin & the leer that came across Crazy Larry's face at that moment.

He was possessed, & went about it right then. He figured he'd need a way to set the fire. So he got a 5 gallon GI can & made a platform for it. He had a rope & when he pulled it it would douse the center of it with Diesel Fuel. Lighting it came in the form of a eave troth that he'd inserted into the fire where the fuel would dump. He'd pour a couple of gallons of Diesel down the eave troth & light it to get it to the center of the fire. Quite ingenious, really. Now he had ignition & a fuel source.

He went about tearing down the barn & building the fire to be lit with his concoction. It took well over a week for him to do it. The night came for the fire & I went over to the farm. It blew my mind!!!!! This thing was at least 100' or more across the base of the fire. It was in teepee fashion that had to of been at least 30" high. I'd never in my life seen a fire so well built!! Everyone was commenting about how nice it was & all. Crazy Larry was not to be deterred. He was on a mission & nothing was going to stop him now. Beer was being consumed, people were laughing & awaiting darkness. Larry said it had to be dark before he'd touch it off. No one argued, after all Crazy Larry had done it all, he should be able to touch her off when he wanted to.

Finally Larry says it's time. He pulls the rope. We could hear the can tip over, Larry grinned a grin like I've never seen him have before. He took his can & started pouring it down the eave troth. We could hear it dripping on the other end. Larry lit the torch & went toward the eave troth. We went the other way, not trusting Larry's pyro abilities totally. Hell, it worked. We could see a glow in the center of the pile.

Let me tell you, I never thought about how dry & how fast that barn wood would burn. This thing started coming up through the center of the teepee & I knew it was going to be a big fire. Course Larry had thought of safety. He had a garden hose out there, just in case. Looking at this thing taking off & then looking at the hose, I could see there's not a chance in hell that hose is going to do anything with that fire.

Now it is roaring up through the chimney Larry had built. It sounded like a chimney fire, if you've ever heard one. Sounds like a jet engine in 1 spot roaring & getting louder & louder. By now 25 yd.'s was as close as you could get to the thing. It just kept roaring & getting louder. About that time up rolls the fire dept. They had been alerted that a farm was on fire. They couldn't believe it was just Crazy Larry's Bonfire. So they say that thing has got to be put out, one way or the other. Larry could put it out & they wouldn't fine him. Or they would put it out at the cost of there work. A decision hadn't quite been made yet when it happened!!!!

Oh, yes, Crazy Larry was Crazy like a fox. He'd found a bar of magnesium that was about 3 ft. long & 4" diameter. He'd herd that magnesium will burn if it gets hot enough. So he'd inserted that bar in the fire at a strategic place & never told anyone about it, hopping that it might, just might get hot enough to ignite it. He was right on, but his timing was a tad off.

That bar ignited & turned the night to day. That stuff burns white hot. Only thing I've ever seen to compare it to was the flares they would drop when we getting hit in Nam. You couldn't look at the fire it was so bright. This thing was making more noise now than you could believe.

That was it for the firemen. Hoses were broke out of the pumper truck & dousing rig was set up to try & get this thing under control. Went through the first tanker of water & didn't even phase it.

To make a long story short, it cost Crazy about $1000 in fines & court costs. They took a dim view of Larry's talent. The home owner had to pay I don't know how much to get the mess straightened out at his place. The fire dept. wasn't neat about putting out that fire. I think they would have liked to have a dozer to handle if the truth be know.

No one now offers to have Crazy Larry build more than a campfire now & they watch over him even then!!

Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

See waht Ryan thinks. I like to get him crackin up!!!

Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

We had this guy in the Navy and we called him WIlly. Down in the engine room he used to put his ear up to the hull of the ship (which is below the waterline) and "listen to the fishes" as he called it. More than once we heard him making whale noises down in the bilge.

Another strange guy had a weird religion. He worshipped the main engines down in the Main Machinery room. If you've ever been on a large ship, you might have noticed that when a ship goes into full reverse or flank speed, the forces and stresses make the entire ship rumble. Its kind of like being in a large clothes dryer. Anyway, whenever the bridge "rung up" one of those speeds, he would kneel down and start bowing to the engines. ANyone that walked by he would shout "Kneel infidel! Kneel to ZOG!!! Zog is Angry!!! Zog must be appeased by sacrifice!!!" All the while the engines would rumble away. It was quite a sight.

It's all Bush's fault

I can't hold a story telling candle to that Wingy though. He's the Man.

Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

I'm not sure the Booker Prize committee would agree with you.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Magnesium in the fire, I'll bet those firemen about crapped their pants, it was all normal stuff up until then, once that stuff lights off you can't put it out with water can you? I thought it would burn under water, if I'm not mistaken, Well at least you guys got your thrill, Crazy Larry was a real crowd pleaser. LMAO!!!




<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

Oh No, you can't put it out once she's a fire.

That's when the fire dept. figured they had a real pyro on there hands.

Quite a night really. Larry smiled & waved out the patrol car window as he departed the scene, shall we say!


Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

Well, if you insist.

I'd been bagging groceries at the local store for about a year or so. Which means I'd been there longer than any of the other baggers. Teen job, high turnover and all that, but I worked it four about 4 years, even though they tried to move me to stocking (there were several hottie cashiers, so I had motivation to stay up front as a bagger!) I usually got the better pick of odd jobs since I'd been there the longest. Except for cleaning the bathrooms. Old hag manager dished that out to everybody. Never did like that part (who would?), especially having to clean out those little "silver boxes" in the ladies' room.

One day I go in to clean the ladies' room, and find that some bitch had left me a little surprise. Yes, that's right folks, she'd taken a dump....on the floor! In one of the stalls, but not in the toilet. On the freakin' floor! Toilet paper had somehow managed to find its way into the toilet (Gee, thanks) because it was still there, but the goddam turds were on the floor.

I swept it up with a broom and one of those fold-down, long-handled dustpans, ran outside, and chunked both of them in the dumpster.

Told that old manager what had happened, and she didn't believe me at first. I said "Well, you can go look in the dumpster, if you want."

I never had to clean the ladies' room again.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>

I once left a long glistening log behind the radiator in a crappy hotel I stayed in. Lousy service requires some form of payback.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Damn Auburn!!!, You mean theres women out there worse than us! Grosss, Yuk!!!, thats disgusting, no morals at all, Auburn there should be a written rule, that women would have to clean the womens bathroom, Cause I'd have drawn the line when it came to the silver boxes, now Wingding on the other hand would be in hog heaven. LMAO!!!



<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

But a turd? Come on.

Just remember, sometimes if you get bad service somewhere and leave some payback, the person that has to clean it up isn't necessarily the person(s) that gave crappy service.

Like me. I got along great with the customers and didn't fvck up their groceries by bagging stuff wrong. Some of the regulars asked for me specifically if I wasn't already bagging for their checkout line. But I still had to clean up a nice, smelly pile of turds on the floor. Sick!

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>

Was that a log cabin you were staying in!!! LMAO!!!




<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

Don't worry they'd have just sent Auburn in there to clean it up! LMAO!!



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Damn RC, I hate this crap, HA HA HA, everytime we get on a good roll, I have to go to work , Catch you guys later.





<b><font color=purple>Listing your system specs, will greatly aid us, in being able to help you solve your problem.</font color=purple></b>

When I worked in a redneck factory years ago, a couple of guys got into a disagreement. We had a 15 minute paid lunch, so you couldn't do anything but eat out of your lunch bucket. We all sat in the same place for the 15 minutes. One of the guys opened his lunch bucket to see a fresh laid turd across his lunch. Led to an instant hurl out of the victim! That was a classic at that place.

Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

The rednecks owned the place. Excon's, you name it. Anybody could get a job there.

Let's just say getting even was a art form there.



Dazzle them with Brilliance, or Baffle them with BS!

I dream about laying a lovingly crafted log in a fresh bread roll and watching the face of the person who sinks their teeth into it.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

On the ship the we mechanics had a running fued with the chow hall people. Our shifts let out about five minutes before chow closed, and they would do their best to close down the line before you got something to eat. And on a ship, if you miss a meal their are no alternatives, you just have to wait for the next one. This is what we would do for revenge...
THey had those napkin dispensers on the table that were spring loaded from the middle. Well, if you took all the napkins out of one side, you could cock one of the plates sideways enough to fit a small fish in there.
One night when I was exceptionally pissed, I went down into the engine room and got a small length of clear plastic sleeving. I taped one end shut, and held the other under my bunghole. I made my deposit and then lightly taped the other end shut. [mission impossible music] then I snuck up to the galley and left it strategically in front of those guys sleeping quarters. I placed it so that when one of them came out, they would step on it and that turd would come squirting out like a tube of toothpaste.

It's all Bush's fault