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POST YOUR FAVOURITE "YA MUM" JOKE

Forum Old Man/Woman's Club : Other - POST YOUR FAVOURITE "YA MUM" JOKE

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twofruitz   11-11-2003 at 01:12:44 PM

id just like to see what i can get out of you fellas. ill start with this one.

Yo' mama is so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through.

hehehe

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WingDing   11-11-2003 at 01:30:03 PM
- 0 +

Yo Mama is so ugly she'd even have sex with Svol

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-11-2003 at 02:14:36 PM
- 0 +

That's a physical impossiblity surely?

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-11-2003 at 02:15:36 PM
- 0 +

Yes, and it was totally improper of me to even suggest such a horrid thing.

...*painfully vomits up lunch*...

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
JustPlainJef   11-11-2003 at 02:45:34 PM
- 0 +

Yo momma's so ugly, Wingding is attracted to her.... WHILE SHE'S STILL ALIVE!!!!

:mad: I HATE NET NAZIS!!! :mad:

Reply to JustPlainJef
WingDing   11-11-2003 at 02:50:38 PM
- 0 +

That's not much of a statement given that I have no standards whatsoever. I'm attracted to almost anything.

Even Oprah....*bile rises*...

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
JustPlainJef   11-11-2003 at 03:01:48 PM
- 0 +

True, but you usually mention the nastier things that you are attracted to... Oprah, (EEEEWWWWWWW), Rosie, the rotting corpse of Mrs. Phillips, barnyard animals, etc.... I would think that a normal looking girl would do nothing for you....

:mad: I HATE NET NAZIS!!! :mad:

Reply to JustPlainJef
WingDing   11-11-2003 at 03:25:41 PM
- 0 +

I kinda like the look of your unplundered bottom.....

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
ironmike   11-11-2003 at 07:35:28 PM
- 0 +

hay watsamatter with Oprah, havent you seen the dollar signs behind her name. Just think what you could do with all that money, cars , fast women , even goop would go out with you ill bet. Yes its my kind of woman---RICH----.

The man of steel said that

Reply to ironmike
mrface   11-11-2003 at 07:47:20 PM
- 0 +

yo mamas so black when she gets outa the car the oil light turns on.


-={Apostalic Alcoholic.}=-

Reply to mrface
ytoledano   11-11-2003 at 09:07:55 PM
- 0 +

Yo momma's so fat I had sex with her, rolled 5 times and I'm still on the b*tch

I'm a nuclear reactor cooling system programmer, if you see me running, it's probably already too late.

Reply to ytoledano
Auburn9698   11-11-2003 at 09:26:18 PM
- 0 +

Yo mama's so fat, her neighborhood has a permanent solar eclipse.

<font color=blue>War</font color=blue> <font color=orange>Eagle</font color=orange>

Reply to Auburn9698
Howard   11-11-2003 at 09:30:12 PM
- 0 +

Yo momma's so dumb, if she's locked inside a grocery store, she'll starve to death.

Yo momma's so dumb, she tripped over a cordless phone.

Reply to Howard
twofruitz   11-12-2003 at 09:50:53 AM
- 0 +

Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck the phone up her ass and thought she was makin' a booty call.

<A HREF="http://service.futuremark.com/compare?2k1=6973142" target="_new">3dmark2001</A>

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Sapphire 9600pro @ 500/700
80G Seagate S-ATA150

Reply to twofruitz
twofruitz   11-12-2003 at 09:51:21 AM
- 0 +

Yo Mama's such a bitch, PMS cheers her up.

<A HREF="http://service.futuremark.com/compare?2k1=6973142" target="_new">3dmark2001</A>

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Reply to twofruitz
twofruitz   11-12-2003 at 09:52:02 AM
- 0 +

Yo' Mama is so fat, her ass looks like two pigs fightin over milk duds

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Reply to twofruitz
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 10:18:03 AM
- 0 +

Yo Mama's so fat, someone keeps painting greyhounds on her hips.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
toxicogen   11-12-2003 at 10:33:42 AM
- 0 +

Yo mamma's so ugly she made wingding impotent

Life's a joke so start laughing

Reply to toxicogen
RobD   11-12-2003 at 10:38:08 AM
- 0 +

Again, a physical impossibility. Wingding will shag <i>anything</i>.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 10:40:48 AM
- 0 +

Oh please. People might think that includes Svol.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
toxicogen   11-12-2003 at 11:00:16 AM
- 0 +

It doesn't?

Life's a joke so start laughing

Reply to toxicogen
RobD   11-12-2003 at 11:06:56 AM
- 0 +

Scientists are unable to find any classification for the thing known as Svol. So you're safe. For now.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 11:08:59 AM
- 0 +

That's a relief. I still think he should be gassed like a badger. He gives us guys a bad name when he hangs out in bars and tries to chat up fit birds.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-12-2003 at 11:23:02 AM
- 0 +

Leaving more fine quality quim for us to enjoy.

What am I talking about? Like Svol ever had a chance.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 11:37:49 AM
- 0 +

His veiny bang-stick shall never chafe a clitoris.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-12-2003 at 12:27:23 PM
- 0 +

Even jazz mags shred themselves instantly when Svol drops his keks for a quick hand shandy.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 12:31:54 PM
- 0 +

And blow-up dolls stab themselves at the first sight of the sad Dutch nerd.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-12-2003 at 12:45:59 PM
- 0 +

Porn vids voluntarily chew themselves up inside the VCR rather than be subjected to pizzaman's under-used todger.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 12:50:12 PM
- 0 +

And porno DVDs warp at the first sniff of his perfect genitals.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
toxicogen   11-12-2003 at 01:21:34 PM
- 0 +

I've seen all the hookers in amsterdam drowning themselfs in the moats at first sight of him

Life's a joke and so am I

Reply to toxicogen
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 01:59:55 PM
- 0 +

They pour acid into the canals first in case he tries to roger their dead bodies.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-12-2003 at 03:10:45 PM
- 0 +

And if he just so happens to dissolve while he's in, all the more reason to celebrate.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-12-2003 at 06:30:31 PM
- 0 +

Life could never be that kind :frown:

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 10:52:24 AM
- 0 +

Nope. Please tell all.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-13-2003 at 11:10:21 AM
- 0 +

Leonardo Di Craprio gives a true to life performance as a complete and utter retarded buffoon. At least that's all I recall, as I buggered off after 15 minutes because I hate the twat. Wife likes it though.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 11:23:02 AM
- 0 +

Sounds like she needs a slapping.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-13-2003 at 11:51:42 AM
- 0 +

Oh, she deserves something. Just can't give it her at this moment in time.... :frown:

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 11:58:58 AM
- 0 +

Might it, by any chance, involve taking her energetically from behind?

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-13-2003 at 12:07:43 PM
- 0 +

My god, you can read my mind.

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
Tom_Smart   11-13-2003 at 12:08:33 PM
- 0 +

yo' mamma is so ugly, the only person that could have beared to father you is wingding.

Advertising (n): the science of arresting the human
intelligence for long enough to get money from it.
-- Stephen Leacock.

Reply to Tom_Smart
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 12:10:17 PM
- 0 +

That's a fair bet.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 12:12:12 PM
- 0 +

That's right. You cannot hide from me.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-13-2003 at 12:59:47 PM
- 0 +

Mind you, I bet it didn't take long did it? :frown:

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 01:01:33 PM
- 0 +

About as long as you'd last with a shaven Vanessa Paradis.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
RobD   11-13-2003 at 01:05:38 PM
- 0 +

That quick eh?

<font color=blue>"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered" - George Best</font color=blue>

Reply to RobD
twofruitz   11-13-2003 at 01:46:33 PM
- 0 +

this is the million dollar question. if wingding bit the pillow for svol and they had a kid what would the thing look like, a prison bitch mixed with boris, the gay russin pimp???

<A HREF="http://service.futuremark.com/compare?2k1=6973142" target="_new">3dmark2001</A>

2.4C @ 3.0G
Asus P4C800
Corsair 2x512 3200
Sapphire 9600pro @ 500/700
80G Seagate S-ATA150

Reply to twofruitz
WingDing   11-13-2003 at 02:55:13 PM
- 0 +

A mixture between Steven Hawking and Jabba the Hut. With a hint of Oprah.

Barton 2500+, 512MB Corsair Platinum XMS 3200 CL2, Radeon 9700, WD Raptor 10,000 rpm S-ATA HDD, Asus A7V600, Enermax 460W SilentPlus PSU.

Reply to WingDing
twofruitz   11-14-2003 at 05:10:08 AM
- 0 +

thats not really right...

<A HREF="http://service.futuremark.com/compare?2k1=6973142" target="_new">3dmark2001</A>

2.4C @ 3.0G
Asus P4C800
Corsair 2x512 3200
Sapphire 9600pro @ 500/700
80G Seagate S-ATA150

Reply to twofruitz
shadus   11-14-2003 at 06:00:24 AM
- 0 +

or you could just goto the source...

<A HREF="http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-fat.html" target="_new">http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-fat.html</A>
<A HREF="http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-big.html" target="_new">http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-big.html</A>
<A HREF="http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-stupid.html" target="_new">http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-stupid.html</A>
<A HREF="http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-poor.html" target="_new">http://www.duckshit.com/yo-mama-jokes/yo-mamas-so-poor.html</A>

Shadus

Reply to shadus
MajinChewY   11-14-2003 at 06:35:56 AM
- 0 +

Yo mamma so fat whenever i mounted her i burnt my ass on the light bulb

Reply to MajinChewY
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