I Hate Steam Because....

Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

1. It makes chipboard swell up, damaging the laminate of "quality" kitchen
units.

2. It makes me blind when I get on a bus on a cold day and my glasses
instantly cloud over.

3. Super-heated Steam really gets up my nose. And I've heard that it can cut
you in half without you even seeing it. Now THAT's a bastard.

4. It's sort of like Stream but spelled wrong.

5. It was replaced by the petrol engine, which, like, totally roolz, and
causes WAY more polution.

6. It's generally confused with water-vapour, and yet it has never made any
effort to address this popular misconception.

7. Yeah, that's right, it's actually INVISIBLE. I hate it because I want to
be invisible too. And I can't. As far as I know. Call it jealousy. I have
green eyes. Whatever.


Wow. I think the coffee made me write that. So, kids, you see what coffee
can do to you? A lesson for us all, I think.
14 answers Last reply
More about hate steam because
  1. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    Nick wrote:
    > Wow. I think the coffee made me write that. So, kids, you see what
    coffee
    > can do to you? A lesson for us all, I think.

    Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if you
    make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn the
    coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just off
    the boil.
  2. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    Andrew wrote:
    > On 18 Feb 2005 02:24:24 -0800, "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com>
    > wrote:
    >
    > >Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if
    you
    > >make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn
    the
    > >coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just
    off
    > >the boil.
    >
    > You have never had a cappuccino then?


    Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    "coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    order a "cappuccino"?

    Also, just be clarify, is just the milk that is steamed and frothy, or
    the coffee as well?

    Whilst on the subject, I have a suspicion that an Espresso may involve
    steam. Any experts in the house?
  3. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    Nick wrote:
    > In fact, every morning, as I fall from my bed, I chant my little
    mantra -
    > "Water boiled, Coffee Spoiled". And then I have a cup of tea instead,

    > because I can't afford to risk an accident.

    Oh! And it was going so well!

    You see, tea really does need boiling water. It releases the tanins.
    That's why machines can't make tea - because they rarely boil the
    water. You also need to get the teabag out again pretty pronto else it
    goes bitter.

    And yes, it does make a difference if you put the milk in first. Don't
    even go there.
  4. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    On 18 Feb 2005 02:24:24 -0800, "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com>
    wrote:

    >Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if you
    >make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn the
    >coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just off
    >the boil.

    You have never had a cappuccino then?
    --
    Andrew, contact via interpleb.blogspot.com
    Help make Usenet a better place: English is read downwards,
    please don't top post. Trim replies to quote only relevant text.
    Check groups.google.com before asking an obvious question.
  5. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:1108722264.945894.252520@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
    >
    > Nick wrote:
    >> Wow. I think the coffee made me write that. So, kids, you see what
    > coffee
    >> can do to you? A lesson for us all, I think.
    >
    > Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if you
    > make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn the
    > coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just off
    > the boil.

    I do, I do, I promise I do. You think that I, who hate Steam so much, would
    put any near my precious instant?

    ;o)
  6. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:1108725517.238054.301030@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
    >
    > Andrew wrote:
    >> On 18 Feb 2005 02:24:24 -0800, "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com>
    >> wrote:
    >>
    >> >Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if
    > you
    >> >make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn
    > the
    >> >coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just
    > off
    >> >the boil.
    >>
    >> You have never had a cappuccino then?
    >
    >
    > Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    > "coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    > Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    > order a "cappuccino"?
    >
    > Also, just be clarify, is just the milk that is steamed and frothy, or
    > the coffee as well?
    >
    > Whilst on the subject, I have a suspicion that an Espresso may involve
    > steam. Any experts in the house?

    No, but I had an espresso once. It was nice, but I hadn't had any breakfast,
    and it made me feel dizzy. Some say I never recovered...
  7. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Nick" <nick@yourstuff.com> wrote in message
    news:1108728045.21030.0@sabbath.news.uk.clara.net...
    > "Chadwick" <chadwick110@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    > news:1108722264.945894.252520@l41g2000cwc.googlegroups.com...
    >>
    >> Nick wrote:
    >>> Wow. I think the coffee made me write that. So, kids, you see what
    >> coffee
    >>> can do to you? A lesson for us all, I think.
    >>
    >> Ironically, steam is one thing you don't want near your coffee. if you
    >> make coffee with boiling water (and therefoer steam) it will burn the
    >> coffee and give it a bitter taste. You should always use water just off
    >> the boil.
    >
    > I do, I do, I promise I do. You think that I, who hate Steam so much,
    > would put any near my precious instant?
    >
    > ;o)

    In fact, every morning, as I fall from my bed, I chant my little mantra -
    "Water boiled, Coffee Spoiled". And then I have a cup of tea instead,
    because I can't afford to risk an accident.
  8. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Chadwick" wrote

    > Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    > "coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    > Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    > order a "cappuccino"?
    >
    No need to as Cappuccino has more in common with Expresso than with coffee

    > Also, just be clarify, is just the milk that is steamed and frothy, or
    > the coffee as well?

    Milk only
    >
    > Whilst on the subject, I have a suspicion that an Espresso may involve
    > steam. Any experts in the house?
    >
    Not an expert on the matters - but Google to the rescue ...

    "The basic principles are to extract only the *best part*, using water which
    is *not quite boiling* and under *a lot of pressure*. The "best part" and
    "not quite boiling" bits are critical to making good coffee by any means,
    while "a lot of pressure" is a neat trick to manage at the same time. "

    http://www.math.columbia.edu/~bayer/coffee.html

    - Peter
  9. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Peter Lykkegaard" <polonline@hotmail.com> wrote in message
    news:37m1hkF5gqkuhU1@individual.net...
    > "Chadwick" wrote
    >
    >> Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    >> "coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    >> Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    >> order a "cappuccino"?
    >>
    > No need to as Cappuccino has more in common with Expresso than with coffee
    >
    >> Also, just be clarify, is just the milk that is steamed and frothy, or
    >> the coffee as well?
    >
    > Milk only
    >>
    >> Whilst on the subject, I have a suspicion that an Espresso may involve
    >> steam. Any experts in the house?
    >>
    > Not an expert on the matters - but Google to the rescue ...
    >
    > "The basic principles are to extract only the *best part*, using water
    > which is *not quite boiling* and under *a lot of pressure*. The "best
    > part" and "not quite boiling" bits are critical to making good coffee by
    > any means, while "a lot of pressure" is a neat trick to manage at the same
    > time. "
    >
    > http://www.math.columbia.edu/~bayer/coffee.html

    Ah, so it's just high-pressure water-vapour, and not that evil steam stuff
    then? Well, that's ok. I'll get my espresso/cappuccino machine back out of
    the rubbish bin.
  10. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    > Erm... Can I hide behind semantics

    PC Anywhere?
  11. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    Chadwick wrote:
    > Nick wrote:
    >
    >>In fact, every morning, as I fall from my bed, I chant my little
    >
    > mantra -
    >
    >>"Water boiled, Coffee Spoiled". And then I have a cup of tea instead,
    >
    >
    >>because I can't afford to risk an accident.
    >
    >
    > Oh! And it was going so well!
    >
    > You see, tea really does need boiling water. It releases the tanins.
    > That's why machines can't make tea - because they rarely boil the
    > water. You also need to get the teabag out again pretty pronto else it
    > goes bitter.
    >
    > And yes, it does make a difference if you put the milk in first. Don't
    > even go there.
    >
    Down here in Texas we make sun tea. Tea bags in a big jar of water
    setting in the sun on a nice hot summer day. Served over ice. Yummy! And
    no evil Steam ;-)
  12. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "jOhN" <us271934SPAMNYET@yahoo.com> wrote in message
    news:cMzRd.52522$iC4.47770@newssvr30.news.prodigy.com...
    > Chadwick wrote:
    >> Nick wrote:
    >>
    >>>In fact, every morning, as I fall from my bed, I chant my little
    >>
    >> mantra -
    >>
    >>>"Water boiled, Coffee Spoiled". And then I have a cup of tea instead,
    >>
    >>
    >>>because I can't afford to risk an accident.
    >>
    >>
    >> Oh! And it was going so well!
    >>
    >> You see, tea really does need boiling water. It releases the tanins.
    >> That's why machines can't make tea - because they rarely boil the
    >> water. You also need to get the teabag out again pretty pronto else it
    >> goes bitter.
    >>
    >> And yes, it does make a difference if you put the milk in first. Don't
    >> even go there.
    >>
    > Down here in Texas we make sun tea. Tea bags in a big jar of water setting
    > in the sun on a nice hot summer day. Served over ice. Yummy! And no evil
    > Steam ;-)

    Do you have a spare room?
  13. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    Peter Lykkegaard wrote:
    > "Chadwick" wrote
    >
    >
    >>Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    >>"coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    >>Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    >>order a "cappuccino"?
    >>
    >
    > No need to as Cappuccino has more in common with Expresso than with coffee

    Should we add a "Frappuccino" into the mix aswell, just for good measure
    :-)

    --
    Ben Cottrell AKA Bench

    All these modern celebrities are endorsing supermarket products now...
    I got a pack of sausages from Tesco the other day and there was this
    picture of Anthony Worral Thompson on the front. Below, it read 'prick
    with a fork'.
  14. Archived from groups: alt.games.half-life (More info?)

    "Ben Cottrell" <bench@bench333.screaming.net> wrote in message
    news:37ubbqF5f752jU3@individual.net...
    > Peter Lykkegaard wrote:
    >> "Chadwick" wrote
    >>
    >>
    >>>Erm... Can I hide behind semantics, and claim that if you order
    >>>"coffee" (or "coorrfee" if you're John Travolta in Saturday Night
    >>>Fever) in a restaurant, you will get a different drink than if you
    >>>order a "cappuccino"?
    >>>
    >>
    >> No need to as Cappuccino has more in common with Expresso than with
    >> coffee
    >
    > Should we add a "Frappuccino" into the mix aswell, just for good measure
    > :-)

    You're just trying to stir things up.
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