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Found this a few years ago

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  • Games
  • Video Games
Last response: in Video Games
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Anonymous
September 5, 2005 4:15:12 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.mame (More info?)

I found this post over at rec.arcade.games.collecting:


You can have my girlfriend for an upright Cliff Hanger. Actually, I'll
take any game in working condition: Tron, Discs of Tron, Qix, Scramble
doesn't matter.

Some info about my girlfriend:

Marquee - Header/Marquee is in a 9 condition. You'll have trouble
finding anybody prettier, but with this 9 face comes extreme vanity.
Seems to think she's on some kind of pedestal.

Cabinet - Her body is a solid 8. Had a child, but got right back in
shape. A few nicks and scratches - nothing a little wood putty and
white paint wouldn't fix right up.

CPU/Brain - High Maintenance - you better have the money to take her
out to dinner twice a week or she starts feeling like you're not
putting enough into the relationship.

Daughter Board - This model has an 8 year old "Daughter" card with
attitude. No way you're going to take the place of her daddy, don't
even try. Don't even be nice, don't even offer to be friends because
you ain't nobody but somebody trying to take her time from her mother.

Wiring Harness - This model is wired all f***in weird. I can't seem to
figure out the pinouts. One day she gets mad at you for not saving
enough money, the next she's mad at you for not taking her out enough.
It's like, you can't win. You may need to just scrap the wiring and
build your own harness.

Coin Mechs - WORKING!!!! Be prepared to spend money like crazy to play
this game, but just don't expect any appreciation for the money you
put into it. The other thing is, this girlfriend does not work without
putting money into her first - just like a real video game eh? This
one cannot be set to "free play."

Coin Locks - WORKING!!! Unfortunately, I have no key. The money you
put into this machine will be stuck in the machine forever. Don't try
to get it back or you'll end up being the "Selfish One." Re-keying the
locks will probably cause this machine to BREAK!!!

Rear Access Door - NOT WORKING!!!. No locks, no keys. The only person
that was able to get into the rear access door was her ex-boyfriend,
but apparently that was too painful and so she locked the panel and
never opened it again. Sorry guys - no fix for this.

Controls - Not working either. Sorry, you cannot control this machine
or tell her what to do. If you even ask for dinner, you'll be "trying
to control her life" and will promptly be kicked to the curb. Maybe
shoving a new "Happ" controller up her ass will help.

SOUND - WORKING!!! Expect to hear loud stories about the people at
work who bug her and how her boss is "out to get her" because she's
pretty and they're all jealous. Sound out cannot be adjusted
unfortunately and there is no "silent" mode.

Control Panel Overlay: "EXCELLENT" new REPRO overlay. She took out the
old overlay and replaced them with 2 new silcone D-Cup overlays.
Overlay looks great and "original." No stiffness or "Too Perky"
overlay here, looks original.

If you have anything to trade for her, I'll take her. Let's get that
non-working Frogger that's rotting in your back yard out of your
backyard and into my home. You'll have a nice fixer-upper girlfriend
that you can take with you to all the "arcade conventions." Actually,
sorry, this girlfriend doesn't attend "arcade conventions" because
like I said, it has to be all about HER!!!

All offers will be considered!!!




--
Computers never make misteaks; my spell-chequer told me sew!
Dyslexics of America, Untie!
I souport publik edekasion.
Bring back Lawn Darts & Incredible Edibles!

More about : found years ago

Anonymous
September 5, 2005 5:13:49 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.mame (More info?)

hilarious!!!

"belfry" <belfry@insightbb.zzzreplacezzzwithcom> wrote in message
news:k6MSe.86324$084.14216@attbi_s22...
>I found this post over at rec.arcade.games.collecting:
>
>
> You can have my girlfriend for an upright Cliff Hanger. Actually, I'll
> take any game in working condition: Tron, Discs of Tron, Qix, Scramble
> doesn't matter.
>
> Some info about my girlfriend:
>
> Marquee - Header/Marquee is in a 9 condition. You'll have trouble
> finding anybody prettier, but with this 9 face comes extreme vanity.
> Seems to think she's on some kind of pedestal.
>
> Cabinet - Her body is a solid 8. Had a child, but got right back in
> shape. A few nicks and scratches - nothing a little wood putty and
> white paint wouldn't fix right up.
>
> CPU/Brain - High Maintenance - you better have the money to take her
> out to dinner twice a week or she starts feeling like you're not
> putting enough into the relationship.
>
> Daughter Board - This model has an 8 year old "Daughter" card with
> attitude. No way you're going to take the place of her daddy, don't
> even try. Don't even be nice, don't even offer to be friends because
> you ain't nobody but somebody trying to take her time from her mother.
>
> Wiring Harness - This model is wired all f***in weird. I can't seem to
> figure out the pinouts. One day she gets mad at you for not saving
> enough money, the next she's mad at you for not taking her out enough.
> It's like, you can't win. You may need to just scrap the wiring and
> build your own harness.
>
> Coin Mechs - WORKING!!!! Be prepared to spend money like crazy to play
> this game, but just don't expect any appreciation for the money you
> put into it. The other thing is, this girlfriend does not work without
> putting money into her first - just like a real video game eh? This
> one cannot be set to "free play."
>
> Coin Locks - WORKING!!! Unfortunately, I have no key. The money you
> put into this machine will be stuck in the machine forever. Don't try
> to get it back or you'll end up being the "Selfish One." Re-keying the
> locks will probably cause this machine to BREAK!!!
>
> Rear Access Door - NOT WORKING!!!. No locks, no keys. The only person
> that was able to get into the rear access door was her ex-boyfriend,
> but apparently that was too painful and so she locked the panel and
> never opened it again. Sorry guys - no fix for this.
>
> Controls - Not working either. Sorry, you cannot control this machine
> or tell her what to do. If you even ask for dinner, you'll be "trying
> to control her life" and will promptly be kicked to the curb. Maybe
> shoving a new "Happ" controller up her ass will help.
>
> SOUND - WORKING!!! Expect to hear loud stories about the people at
> work who bug her and how her boss is "out to get her" because she's
> pretty and they're all jealous. Sound out cannot be adjusted
> unfortunately and there is no "silent" mode.
>
> Control Panel Overlay: "EXCELLENT" new REPRO overlay. She took out the
> old overlay and replaced them with 2 new silcone D-Cup overlays.
> Overlay looks great and "original." No stiffness or "Too Perky"
> overlay here, looks original.
>
> If you have anything to trade for her, I'll take her. Let's get that
> non-working Frogger that's rotting in your back yard out of your
> backyard and into my home. You'll have a nice fixer-upper girlfriend
> that you can take with you to all the "arcade conventions." Actually,
> sorry, this girlfriend doesn't attend "arcade conventions" because
> like I said, it has to be all about HER!!!
>
> All offers will be considered!!!
>
>
>
>
> --
> Computers never make misteaks; my spell-chequer told me sew!
> Dyslexics of America, Untie!
> I souport publik edekasion.
> Bring back Lawn Darts & Incredible Edibles!
>
>
September 5, 2005 4:04:08 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.mame (More info?)

belfry wrote:

Funny post deleted

hahaha.. This was a funny post.


--
MCR
MAME(tm) - History In The Making
www.pleasure-dome.org.uk
!