Jesus Vs Batman

Anything goes bare handed fist fight (no miracles or gadgets). Who would win?
Pros: Demi-god, worked as a carpenter, could walk on water (that takes a lot of agility and power), was pretty ripped (look at some of his pictures), moved a huge stone from the front of his grave, power of rage (flipping tables in the temple)
Cons: Pacifist, loves everyone even batman

Pros: trained under Ras alghul, had his back broken and is still fighting, tons of fighting experience, always prepared, looks cool in tights
Cons: family issues, won't go for the killing blow
6 answers Last reply
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  1. Hmm, this Batman?? :D

  2. When Jesus was a kid he killed a few people just for kicks ... Batman didn't do that.

    Batman wins in terms of the moral imperative.
  3. Hmmm, I don't know...

    I'm gonna go with Jesus on this one.

    I can imagine Jesus working on Batman's pain like Sybock in Star Trek: The Final Frontier...

    Jesus: Your pain runs deep.
    Batman: What do you know of my pain?
    Jesus: Let us explore it... together. Each man hides a secret pain. It must be exposed and reckoned with. It must be dragged from the darkness and forced into the light. Share your pain. Share your pain with me... and gain strength from the sharing.
    Batman: Where did you get this power?
    Jesus: The power was within you.
    Batman: I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my heart. How can I repay you for this miracle?
    Jesus: Believe in me.
  4. It's a bare knuckle fist fight guys, and besides, no miracles..
  5. I think Jesus is easier to kill than the Batman, I mean all it took was a few Roman soldiers and some pieces of wood. Id like to see them try that with Batman.

    If Jesus werent allowed to use magic (Is that the proper term, holy spirit power?) then there would be no contest. If JC could then he could just have a group of bears savage batman, I mean that would be awesome.... but that will most likely just slow batman down. Or I dont know turn him into a literal bat and chase batman around the house with a tennis racket.

    "And he went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the Lord. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them"

    Kings 2:23-24

    So it seems that Jesus might need to verbalize his curses and that is going to be a major weakness that Im sure Batman will take advantage of.

    So I think if Batman can effectively silence Jesus before he can get a curse off (Kinda like Harry Potter) he should be able to mop up the son of God no problem. Jesus may have superior strength and reflexes but again Batman's training should be enough to overpower him, because while Jesus spent most of his life healing the sick, Batman spent most of his life becoming the most efficient @ss kicking machine known to man.

    All thats left is to sit by the body for 3 days and repeat.

    And Batmans whole "Not killing" deal, he has accidentally killed thousands. Who knows how many criminals are mentally handicapped from having their heads rammed into concrete. Or how many disabled criminals are clogging up Gothams hospitals, how many broken arms and legs get amputated every year? I cant imagine criminals have great health insurance plans or that they get medical help at that abandoned factory they were being criminals in when Batman smashes a few skulls and leaves without calling for an ambulance.
  6. All thats left is to sit by the body for 3 days and repeat.


    You are a very cheeky man and I can see angels giving you wedgies for the next 50 years ...
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