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So, you want to be an airline pilot?

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May 6, 2005 7:59:39 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and enthusiasm.
Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life. This was my big
chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would become an airline pilot.



"So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.



"Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied, realizing
I sounded like an anxious adolescent.



"Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.



"You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.



"You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble finding good
pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was surprised, it was overshadowed
by my joy of reaching my dream.



"Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line," the
company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's most renowned
medical center. They'll spend two days probing you body orifices, draining
and analyzing your blood, and administering psychological exams. They'll
literally take you apart and put you back together. If they find any hint of
current or future problems, you're fired and can find your own ride home."



"Gee, I think my health is O. K.," I nervously choked out.



The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in an
aircraft you've never been in before.



"If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"



I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous. He
continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our training
program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide to leave the
company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll sue you. Also if you
fail to measure up during training, you're fired."



The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more hurdles. "Each
time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion dollar aircraft we'll
X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we don't trust you. Also we'll
ask you to pass through a magnetometer each time. If you fail to do so,
you'll be arrested and jailed."



"When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine sample,
because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we plan to take a
blood sample to look for more drugs.



"Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used drugs or
alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to notice that
anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have your license to fly
revoked, and be fined $10,000."



"Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for another
exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to fly will be
revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical person, you must tell
us about it so we can see if you need to be grounded and terminated. Also,
we need to examine your driving record, and you must tell us if you have
even any minor infractions so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as
possible."



"At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will send
one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector will demand to
see your papers and license, If your papers are not in order, you'll be
removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."



"If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human mistake,
you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of dollars, and be
dragged through months of court proceedings. The government will make sure
you never fly again for any airline."



Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one last
thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a trend and screw
up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its face. If as a result
of one of those events the corporation begins to lose money, you as an
employee will be expected to make up the losses from your paycheck."



"Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.



I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my nostrils, I
hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began to run. I ran all
the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could still get to the county
vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in the industrial welding career
program.

More about : airline pilot

May 6, 2005 9:07:11 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

"Dallas" <Cybnorm@spam_me_not.Hotmail.Com> wrote in message
news:LYBee.7499$BE3.3760@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
enthusiasm.
> Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life. This was my big
> chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would become an airline
pilot.
>
<testing snipped>

Almost makes you feel safe getting on an airplane. Still I think they
caught a couple of pilots drunk last year. Before they could take off.
May 6, 2005 9:25:28 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

Dallas wrote:
> I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
> enthusiasm. Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life.
> This was my big chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would
> become an airline pilot.
>
>
>
> "So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.
>
>
>
> "Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied,
> realizing I sounded like an anxious adolescent.
>
>
>
> "Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.
>
>
>
> "You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.
>
>
>
> "You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble finding
> good pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was surprised, it was
> overshadowed by my joy of reaching my dream.
>
>
>
> "Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line,"
> the company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's
> most renowned medical center. They'll spend two days probing you body
> orifices, draining and analyzing your blood, and administering
> psychological exams. They'll literally take you apart and put you
> back together. If they find any hint of current or future problems,
> you're fired and can find your own ride home."
>
>
>
> "Gee, I think my health is O. K.," I nervously choked out.
>
>
>
> The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in
> an aircraft you've never been in before.
>
>
>
> "If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"
>
>
>
> I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous. He
> continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our
> training program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide
> to leave the company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll
> sue you. Also if you fail to measure up during training, you're
> fired."
>
>
>
> The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more hurdles.
> "Each time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion dollar
> aircraft we'll X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we don't
> trust you. Also we'll ask you to pass through a magnetometer each
> time. If you fail to do so, you'll be arrested and jailed."
>
>
>
> "When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine
> sample, because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we
> plan to take a blood sample to look for more drugs.
>
>
>
> "Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used
> drugs or alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to
> notice that anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have
> your license to fly revoked, and be fined $10,000."
>
>
>
> "Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for
> another exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to
> fly will be revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical
> person, you must tell us about it so we can see if you need to be
> grounded and terminated. Also, we need to examine your driving
> record, and you must tell us if you have even any minor infractions
> so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as possible."
>
>
>
> "At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will
> send one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector
> will demand to see your papers and license, If your papers are not in
> order, you'll be removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."
>
>
>
> "If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human
> mistake, you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of
> dollars, and be dragged through months of court proceedings. The
> government will make sure you never fly again for any airline."
>
>
>
> Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one
> last thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a
> trend and screw up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its
> face. If as a result of one of those events the corporation begins to
> lose money, you as an employee will be expected to make up the losses
> from your paycheck."
>
>
>
> "Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.
>
>
>
> I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my
> nostrils, I hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began
> to run. I ran all the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could
> still get to the county vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in
> the industrial welding career program.

ish okay ..... ise can fli my fokker anetyme i loik <hic> in mi
shimalater... <damm, wears mi udder bottle>
Related resources
Anonymous
May 7, 2005 12:34:25 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?



John
....who'd rather stick to flight-simming, where he only has to worry
about if his operating system is up to the task

--
To reply, remove "die.spammers" from address


Von Herzen, moge es wieder zu Herzen gehen. --Beethoven
May 7, 2005 12:34:26 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
> So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
> videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>


John John John,
You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out there
that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't dream of
drying flunk!!

Cheers'n Beeerz.. [_])
noD
Anonymous
May 7, 2005 10:47:30 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

CRaSH wrote:
> The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
>
>>So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
>>videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>>
>
>
>
> John John John,
> You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out there
> that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't dream of
> drying flunk!!

Not my point. I'm wondering how they get through the cracks, that's all.



J

--
To reply, remove "die.spammers" from address


Von Herzen, moge es wieder zu Herzen gehen. --Beethoven
Anonymous
May 9, 2005 3:00:30 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

"The Lindbergh Baby" <johngrabowski1@die.spammersearthlink.net> wrote in
message news:427C647F.7090509@die.spammersearthlink.net...
> CRaSH wrote:
>> The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
>>
>>>So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
>>>videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> John John John,
>> You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out
>> there that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't
>> dream of drying flunk!!
>
> Not my point. I'm wondering how they get through the cracks, that's all.
>
>
>
> J

Because flight is an endeavor undertaken by humans, supervised by humans for
humans...

....and humans are fallible.

No more...no less.

Jay B
!