So, you want to be an airline pilot?

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

"Dallas" <Cybnorm@spam_me_not.Hotmail.Com> wrote in message
news:LYBee.7499$BE3.3760@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net...
> I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
enthusiasm.
> Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life. This was my big
> chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would become an airline
pilot.
>
<testing snipped>

Almost makes you feel safe getting on an airplane. Still I think they
caught a couple of pilots drunk last year. Before they could take off.

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

Dallas wrote:
> I walked into the interview with a great deal of confidence and
> enthusiasm. Flying airplanes was my one true passion in this life.
> This was my big chance to merge my occupation with my love. I would
> become an airline pilot.
>
>
>
> "So you want to be an airline pilot?" the interviewer inquired.
>
>
>
> "Yes, sir, more than anything else I have ever wanted," I replied,
> realizing I sounded like an anxious adolescent.
>
>
>
> "Well, great, welcome aboard," the airline executive said.
>
>
>
> "You mean I'm hired?!" I cheered.
>
>
>
> "You bet, we're glad to have you. Actually, we've had trouble finding
> good pilots to hire," the exec explained. If I was surprised, it was
> overshadowed by my joy of reaching my dream.
>
>
>
> "Let's just go over a few points before you sign on the dotted line,"
> the company man chortled. "We're going to send you to the world's
> most renowned medical center. They'll spend two days probing you body
> orifices, draining and analyzing your blood, and administering
> psychological exams. They'll literally take you apart and put you
> back together. If they find any hint of current or future problems,
> you're fired and can find your own ride home."
>
>
>
> "Gee, I think my health is O. K.," I nervously choked out.
>
>
>
> The manager went on, "Good, next we'll evaluate your flying skills in
> an aircraft you've never been in before.
>
>
>
> "If we don't like the way you perform, you're fired,"
>
>
>
> I was confident with my flying, but this guy was making me nervous. He
> continued, "Next, if you're still here, we'll run you through our
> training program. If during any time in the next 10 years you decide
> to leave the company, you'll have to reimburse us $20,000, or we'll
> sue you. Also if you fail to measure up during training, you're
> fired."
>
>
>
> The man who had just given me my dream job listed still more hurdles.
> "Each time, before we allow you near one of our multimillion dollar
> aircraft we'll X-ray your flight bag and luggage, because we don't
> trust you. Also we'll ask you to pass through a magnetometer each
> time. If you fail to do so, you'll be arrested and jailed."
>
>
>
> "When you've completed your flight, we'll have you provide a urine
> sample, because we don't trust you to not take drugs. Very soon, we
> plan to take a blood sample to look for more drugs.
>
>
>
> "Also if you ever fly with another crew member who may have used
> drugs or alcohol, you must report to us immediately. If you fail to
> notice that anyone has used these substances, you'll be fired, have
> your license to fly revoked, and be fined $10,000."
>
>
>
> "Every six months, we want you to go back to the medical center for
> another exam. If they ever find a hint of a problem, your license to
> fly will be revoked and we'll fire you. Anytime you see a medical
> person, you must tell us about it so we can see if you need to be
> grounded and terminated. Also, we need to examine your driving
> record, and you must tell us if you have even any minor infractions
> so we can remove you from the cockpit as soon as possible."
>
>
>
> "At any time, without notice, a special branch of the government will
> send one of its inspectors to ride in your aircraft. The inspector
> will demand to see your papers and license, If your papers are not in
> order, you'll be removed, fined, terminated, and possibly jailed."
>
>
>
> "If at any time you make an error in judgment or an honest human
> mistake, you will be terminated, be fined tens of thousands of
> dollars, and be dragged through months of court proceedings. The
> government will make sure you never fly again for any airline."
>
>
>
> Smiling an evil smile now, the airline hirer went on. "Oh, and one
> last thing to cover. Occasionally, we in management fail to see a
> trend and screw up royally or the country's economy falls flat on its
> face. If as a result of one of those events the corporation begins to
> lose money, you as an employee will be expected to make up the losses
> from your paycheck."
>
>
>
> "Now sign here," he pointed, grinning as he handed me a pen.
>
>
>
> I faked a sudden nosebleed. Holding my head back and pinching my
> nostrils, I hurried from his office. When I got to the hall, I began
> to run. I ran all the way to my car. I figured if I hurried I could
> still get to the county vocational school before 5:00 and enroll in
> the industrial welding career program.

ish okay ..... ise can fli my fokker anetyme i loik <hic> in mi
shimalater... <damm, wears mi udder bottle>

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?



John
....who'd rather stick to flight-simming, where he only has to worry
about if his operating system is up to the task

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Von Herzen, moge es wieder zu Herzen gehen. --Beethoven

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
> So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
> videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>


John John John,
You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out there
that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't dream of
drying flunk!!

Cheers'n Beeerz.. [_])
noD

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

CRaSH wrote:
> The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
>
>>So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
>>videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>>
>
>
>
> John John John,
> You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out there
> that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't dream of
> drying flunk!!

Not my point. I'm wondering how they get through the cracks, that's all.



J

--
To reply, remove "die.spammers" from address


Von Herzen, moge es wieder zu Herzen gehen. --Beethoven

Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)

"The Lindbergh Baby" <johngrabowski1@die.spammersearthlink.net> wrote in
message news:427C647F.7090509@die.spammersearthlink.net...
> CRaSH wrote:
>> The Lindbergh Baby wrote:
>>
>>>So how come, despite all this, pilots fly drunk on Northwest and are
>>>videotaped falling asleep at the wheel?
>>>
>>
>>
>>
>> John John John,
>> You're talking about a fraction of a percent of responsible pilots out
>> there that take their job very seriously. Just as we sim pilots wouldn't
>> dream of drying flunk!!
>
> Not my point. I'm wondering how they get through the cracks, that's all.
>
>
>
> J

Because flight is an endeavor undertaken by humans, supervised by humans for
humans...

....and humans are fallible.

No more...no less.

Jay B