Archived from groups: alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (More info?)
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....and Varmit, being the ever intrepid simulated pilot, decided to
visit his friend boB, whose moniker seems to suffer from a peculiar
typo anomaly.
Now, both Varmit and boB share a common affliction that they just
can't quite sort out to any reasonable person's satisfaction; they
both reside in the rather scary, and might I add, politically
incorrect state of Texas. I, for one, offer my deepest sympathies.
Considering the many unlikely facts underlying this story; a simulated
flying Varmit, his friend with a very short, yet still typo ridden
moniker, a thunderfloopy weather forecast, and the "we're not in
Kansas anymore, Toto" state of Texas location, it's a wonder that our
heroes have been able to collect their wits well enough to post to an
equally "we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto" Usenet news group known
for its peculiar and motley collection of regular participants.
Chapter I: VFR Varmit Mode
And so it came to be, on this thunderfloopy day, that our favorite
simulated flying Varmit decided to visit his friend boB, in a small
town known affectionately as Kempner, where 7 whole grain German
bread is consumed, and its quaint residents don't even know if they
have a mayor or not. In spite of all this, and the fact that we are
talking about Texas here, this small town does, rather
embarrassingly, claim two actual animal loving residents; yes indeed,
it is our very own boB and his lovely wife Gabriella (who, it should
be noted, does not suffer from a typo ridden moniker!). You may now
be wondering "But what does any this have to do the Varmit and his
thunderfloopy VFR adventure?" Very little, I suppose.
In proper "everything is bigger here" Texas style, Varmit decided to
venture into the skies in his diminutive yet impressively named
"Challenger II" ultralight flying object (UFO). Even though most of
us can only imagine that such a flying device might have a maximum
crosswind tolerance of 1.2 acres per hour, this did not deter our
determined Varmit. Oh no, he is an intrepid Varmit, and so, yet
again in "everything is bigger here" Texas style, he taxied his wee
UFO onto the tarmac at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. We
are impressed already!
Of course, concern for crosswind tolerances on thunderfloopy days
aside for the moment, Varmit may not have quite completely taken into
account the wake turbulence effect of the simulated Airbus A380 that
had, in spite of its own anti-gravity challenged girth, taken off
just moments before on the very same runway. Incredibly, this was
not a problem for Varmit, because he didn't even have to apply any
positive throttle in order to become airborne, as the force of the
wind produced by the A380's engines caused his Challenger II to leave
the ground even before Dallas/Fort Worth ATC could say "Varmit
cleared for takeoff"! Because of his unexpected and somewhat unusual
takeoff procedure, Varmit's first few moments aloft were, shall we
say, less than graceful (astonished witnesses described a wildly
oscillating UFO just above the tarmac, doing things no known human
created aircraft can do). However, being a determined flying Varmit,
he was *not* going to distinguish himself by ending up in a classic
Lawn Dart non-flight attitude, and so he wrestled his Challenger II
into submission, and went on his merry way.
Texas VFR Varmit Mode stipulates that one must follow Armadillo road
kill from point A to point B; but let's not forget, this was no
ordinary day, and visibility might not have been optimal, and so the
ever resourceful Varmit had remembered to bring along some outdated
sectional charts, just in case. Feeling a bit lost without the
usually abundant Armadillo road kill to follow due to flying VFR
Varmit Mode in IFR Varmit conditions, yet in fine male Varmit
tradition, not wanting to ask ATC for directions, Varmit decided that
he was just taking the "scenic route". Apparently, some hair pulling
did occur, but as we know, Varmits are usually endowed with plenty of
hair, so I'm sure this was not too much of a problem for our furry
flying friend.
Chapter II: Varmit, marginally aloft, wonders..."Now, where's
Kempner?"
Stay tuned...
- --
Melissa
PGP Public Keys: http://www.freewebs.com/kuviahunnihautik/
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Hash: RIPEMD160
....and Varmit, being the ever intrepid simulated pilot, decided to
visit his friend boB, whose moniker seems to suffer from a peculiar
typo anomaly.
Now, both Varmit and boB share a common affliction that they just
can't quite sort out to any reasonable person's satisfaction; they
both reside in the rather scary, and might I add, politically
incorrect state of Texas. I, for one, offer my deepest sympathies.
Considering the many unlikely facts underlying this story; a simulated
flying Varmit, his friend with a very short, yet still typo ridden
moniker, a thunderfloopy weather forecast, and the "we're not in
Kansas anymore, Toto" state of Texas location, it's a wonder that our
heroes have been able to collect their wits well enough to post to an
equally "we're not in Kansas anymore, Toto" Usenet news group known
for its peculiar and motley collection of regular participants.
Chapter I: VFR Varmit Mode
And so it came to be, on this thunderfloopy day, that our favorite
simulated flying Varmit decided to visit his friend boB, in a small
town known affectionately as Kempner, where 7 whole grain German
bread is consumed, and its quaint residents don't even know if they
have a mayor or not. In spite of all this, and the fact that we are
talking about Texas here, this small town does, rather
embarrassingly, claim two actual animal loving residents; yes indeed,
it is our very own boB and his lovely wife Gabriella (who, it should
be noted, does not suffer from a typo ridden moniker!). You may now
be wondering "But what does any this have to do the Varmit and his
thunderfloopy VFR adventure?" Very little, I suppose.
In proper "everything is bigger here" Texas style, Varmit decided to
venture into the skies in his diminutive yet impressively named
"Challenger II" ultralight flying object (UFO). Even though most of
us can only imagine that such a flying device might have a maximum
crosswind tolerance of 1.2 acres per hour, this did not deter our
determined Varmit. Oh no, he is an intrepid Varmit, and so, yet
again in "everything is bigger here" Texas style, he taxied his wee
UFO onto the tarmac at Dallas/Fort Worth International Airport. We
are impressed already!
Of course, concern for crosswind tolerances on thunderfloopy days
aside for the moment, Varmit may not have quite completely taken into
account the wake turbulence effect of the simulated Airbus A380 that
had, in spite of its own anti-gravity challenged girth, taken off
just moments before on the very same runway. Incredibly, this was
not a problem for Varmit, because he didn't even have to apply any
positive throttle in order to become airborne, as the force of the
wind produced by the A380's engines caused his Challenger II to leave
the ground even before Dallas/Fort Worth ATC could say "Varmit
cleared for takeoff"! Because of his unexpected and somewhat unusual
takeoff procedure, Varmit's first few moments aloft were, shall we
say, less than graceful (astonished witnesses described a wildly
oscillating UFO just above the tarmac, doing things no known human
created aircraft can do). However, being a determined flying Varmit,
he was *not* going to distinguish himself by ending up in a classic
Lawn Dart non-flight attitude, and so he wrestled his Challenger II
into submission, and went on his merry way.
Texas VFR Varmit Mode stipulates that one must follow Armadillo road
kill from point A to point B; but let's not forget, this was no
ordinary day, and visibility might not have been optimal, and so the
ever resourceful Varmit had remembered to bring along some outdated
sectional charts, just in case. Feeling a bit lost without the
usually abundant Armadillo road kill to follow due to flying VFR
Varmit Mode in IFR Varmit conditions, yet in fine male Varmit
tradition, not wanting to ask ATC for directions, Varmit decided that
he was just taking the "scenic route". Apparently, some hair pulling
did occur, but as we know, Varmits are usually endowed with plenty of
hair, so I'm sure this was not too much of a problem for our furry
flying friend.
Chapter II: Varmit, marginally aloft, wonders..."Now, where's
Kempner?"
Stay tuned...
- --
Melissa
PGP Public Keys: http://www.freewebs.com/kuviahunnihautik/
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=u4qg
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