I'm 40 today!

I'm old and grey, my back is bent, my bowels are loose and runny.....

40 metres......*swagger*....

It's been 40 years since you were unleashed upon this world?

Happy birthday......you sick fcuker.

I'll bet she bought him something nice that just maxed out his card.

She must be hot...Or you're dam stupid.

Best birthday wishes to you, Dave!

Hey, you need to sit down with Tom and share a Malibu and pineapple or two; he's only 20 odd days away from celebrating his own major milestone: "The New 30", as he calls it.

You never know, the wife actually might come home with a new lingerie outfit put down on the credit card instead of some gaudy looking shoes that not even Imelda Marcos would wear.

Thanks mate

I don't care about lingerie, I'd settle for an enthusiastic slurping of my glistening helmet.

I got a cake and a peck on the cheek.

I'd prefer to give her a cheekful of my throbbing erection.

Happy birthday, sorry you never git any expensive presents, for me to steal that is. [/genuine Scouse good wishes]

If you're going to make others offer it up you should be willing to be the first. Bend over.

Happy birthday Wingy. May you have many more, and less credit card bills.

I'm expecting a Llama to appear about this point...

Whats that old military saying? Every man must do his duty? Just think back to that time you enlisted in the navy.

warrior ethos:
I will always place the mission first.
I will never accept defeat.
I will never quit.
I will never leave a fallen comrade.


theres a few but, i dont know if they apply

Before my friend went to Paris Isle, we reminded him of a important one. Your weapon is always made by the lowest bidder. That and stay away from a lieutenant with a map.

I prefer the Sig.

Money that goes well into bullets. Most gun collectors waste precious range time admiring their hardware in glass cages. Me... I'm allowed to own a gun.

I want an MP5... I get that or a Barret M82 , and I'll be happy for life.

Lets just say, I'll pwn the n00bs playing with Aerosoft..

If you have the minerals to shoot at me, expect retribution that falls under the category of divine. That and I don't believe in playing fair. a .50 cal round ends disputes and pseudo war games with surprising ease and excellence.

8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O 8O

An unsavory peek into your psyche perhaps?

you mean neonazi/kkk?

I've got one for sale if you need one...

At least she still feels obliged to have an excuse for her spending habits (admittedly a rather poor one, but still).

Hey K, is your wife the super-loyal type? [/serious question]

Do you ever wonder about her and the act of infidelity? [/another serious question]

Do you think she'd ever pork another bloke behind your back? [/triple whammy!]

If I follow that logic, then your current decade must last about 10 minutes [/harsh and unnecessary]

Yea, I know the feeling of time flying by.......

I've been humbled recently....... I scanned all the photos I've ever taken of my Family..... One of the hardest things I've done in awhile..... Watching your life go before your eyes..... It took a lot of Coors beer to get through it!!!!!

Grandkids have to open the jam for you again? There are devices out there to assist the elderly and frail and there is no shame in their use. Humiliation, yes, but no shame. Besides by the time to realise the younger, fitter, and generally more mobile generations are laughing, you'll have forgotten what you are doing.

Gotta be at least one bastage in there somewhere.