keeping your balls clean

I'm looking for the old IBM article on the proper method for cleaning one's balls. Its an amusing document that (if memory serves) never mentions specifically that it is referring to mouse balls.

Unfortunately I have found searching for this on google to be difficult due to the fact that it has been a very very long time since I last saw it and can't remember many specific words or phrases in it. I want it because I am teaching an IT class and feel like it would be a fun thing to distribute.

If anyone has a copy or a link I would very much appreciate it.

Thanks.

Is this what your talking about?

MEMO

Re: Replacement of Mouse Balls.

If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform erratically, it may need a ball replacement. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Units). Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of mouse balls should only be attempted by properly trained personnel.

Before proceeding, determine the type of mouse balls by examining the underside of the mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls. Ball removal procedures differ depending upon the manufacturer of the mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop off method. Domestic balls are replaced by using the twist off method. Mouse balls are not usually static sensitive. However, excessive handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each person have a pair of spare balls for maintaining optimum customer satisfaction. Any customer missing his balls should contact the local personnel in charge of removing and replacing these necessary items.

Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer.

Old but still great. 8)

And what type of tools are needed for removal of mouse balls? Further, is mrs. mouse happy about the removal of mr. mouse's balls?

I wonder if the person who wrote that memo actually meant it to sound the way it did.

But he is right: "Please keep in mind that a customer without properly working balls is an unhappy customer."

I know I would be pretty unhappy. 8O

I guess that optical mice don't have balls. That must mean that they'll never have children.

This is my favorite part of the article: "Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign balls."

Thats great, I'll use that too, but its not the one I am looking for.

It was about cleaning the balls and it refered to the proper motions and such.

Like I said, it has been a very long time since I have even seen it mentioned. I think the last time I saw it was my first year of college.

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