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thrilling installment #14 of whatever

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Anonymous
May 27, 2004 5:23:26 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.

----

Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes. Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void. The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training. The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely. There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.

She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself. Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels. It was almost impossible to navigate through the
headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
get through them without even slowing down. At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time. Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her. Laiva had no time to
loose, though. The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure. How were they only
getting out of here like that?

Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again he
had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act either.
The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver. Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold. Obviously the villagers didn't care
too much about the health of their sacrifice. At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right. Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from. Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
girl down with her. It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.

More about : thrilling installment

Anonymous
May 27, 2004 9:05:58 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncbbqua.msm.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x7.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.

*reads curiously*

> ----
>
> Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain... the
right meaning, but the right form?

> Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise, what is
it they're realizing? Oh, and ', the village'.

Also, something between 'see' and 'hand'. Perhaps 'making it impossible for
a person to see their hand before their eyes'. Oh, and 'to' instead of
'too'.

> Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.

One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void', I
think.

> The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.

Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*

> The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.

'narrowly the man'--what man? 'Elias stepped to the side and was narrowly
missed by a man who crashed into the wall next to him; unperturbed, he
continued listening closely.'

> There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.

Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.

> She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.

Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say such-and-such.
'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly* Also, 'but
now wasn't the time for pride'. Or something along those lines, at least.

*after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to? *looks
confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the stake.

> Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.

'broke into a full run'.

> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
> get through them without even slowing down.

'headless'? Or 'faceless'?

> At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

'even one more time'. Unless she actually means to let them use it again.

> Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

'what had they done to her?'

> Laiva had no time to
> loose, though.

*winces* 'lose'. When something's missing, you haven't 'loost' it, you've
'lost' it...

> The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

'fog, so she'

Also, if you wish replace 'for sure' with something else... maybe 'she was
certainly heavier than she looked' or 'she was definitely heavier than she
looked'.

Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting! And
intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a different
species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?

....Of course, the 'interesting new character' thought-line is moot if she
dies within the next several seconds. *amusement*

> How were they only
> getting out of here like that?

'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better) 'How
were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the 'like
that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.

> Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
> headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again he
> had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act either.

....Wait. /Are/ they literally headless? If not, I'd suggest replacing it
with 'sightless' here.

> The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.

What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.

> The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

'burned the skin', or 'burning her skin' or 'burning their skin'. I'd
suggest the first, however, since it probably doesn't apply to just the two
of them.

> Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.

Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though it's
quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.

> Obviously the villagers didn't care
> too much about the health of their sacrifice.

*amusement*

> At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

'seem to be following them', 'probably thought they'.

> Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.

'how they had managed', 'futile and probably the only houses were the ones'.
(note the two 'and's in the original)

> Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
> girl down with her.

Ay) 'in' or 'on'?

Bee) ...

....Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs* (And no, not referring to
grammar/spelling.)

> It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.

Firstly, 'all of a sudden', and secondly: have you considered an elipsis
instead of a full stop to end the paragraph?

Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches memory*
And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to her...unless a
third party finds her first.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
May 29, 2004 12:40:22 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-05-27, illusion
<c953l6$oa6$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncbbqua.msm.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x7.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.
>
> *reads curiously*

::listens curiously for comments::

>> ----
>>
>> Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain... the
> right meaning, but the right form?

Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...

{Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand/to see the hand/}

> 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise, what is

Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?

> it they're realizing? Oh, and ', the village'.

Damn, I overread that.

> Also, something between 'see' and 'hand'. Perhaps 'making it impossible for
> a person to see their hand before their eyes'. Oh, and 'to' instead of
> 'too'.

What about "to see the hand before the eyes"? I really don't want to put
an explicit subject in here - shouldn't be neccessary either.

{Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}

> One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void', I
> think.

No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be completely
wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it - more a
direction than a fixed point.

{The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training.}
>
> Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*

Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.

{The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding the man crashing/}

> 'narrowly the man'--what man? 'Elias stepped to the side and was narrowly
> missed by a man who crashed into the wall next to him; unperturbed, he
> continued listening closely.'

Sorry, that should be "narrowly avoiding the man crashing". Somehow I
messed that up... Or perhaps "avoiding the man that crashed".

{There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.}

> Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.

If I _whish_?

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/ought/should/
s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now was't the time for pride/}

> Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say such-and-such.
> 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*

Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?

> Also, 'but
> now wasn't the time for pride'. Or something along those lines, at least.

My construct doesn't work, does it?

> *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to? *looks
> confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the stake.

What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?

{Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/}

> 'broke into a full run'.

Why, actually?

>> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
>> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
>> get through them without even slowing down.
>
> 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?

I think headless - like "without leader".

{At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/}

> 'even one more time'. Unless she actually means to let them use it again.

Oops. I had "even" in there at some time, but it got replaced in one of
the various revisions... you are perfectly right, of course.

{Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done/they done/}

> 'what had they done to her?'

Somehow I like "only", eh?

{Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/}

> *winces* 'lose'. When something's missing, you haven't 'loost' it, you've
> 'lost' it...

Oh, no. Tell me I didn't mess that up *again*!

{The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}

> 'fog, so she'

Typo, most certainly.

> Also, if you wish replace 'for sure' with something else... maybe 'she was
> certainly heavier than she looked' or 'she was definitely heavier than she
> looked'.

Erm, yes.

> Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting! And
> intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a different
> species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?

I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.

> ...Of course, the 'interesting new character' thought-line is moot if she
> dies within the next several seconds. *amusement*

Well, let's see. <eg>

{How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to get out of here like that?}

> 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better) 'How
> were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the 'like
> that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.

Suggestion made...

Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't
even properly walk like that!"

>> Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
>> headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again he
>> had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act either.
>
> ...Wait. /Are/ they literally headless? If not, I'd suggest replacing it
> with 'sightless' here.

"leaderless"/without thinking. "sightless" doesn't really mean the right
thing, IMHO.

{The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.}

> What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
> language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.

You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute no-do, I
know. Let's have a look at it...
"The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."

{The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/}

> 'burned the skin', or 'burning her skin' or 'burning their skin'. I'd
> suggest the first, however, since it probably doesn't apply to just the two
> of them.

All right.

{Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.}

> Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though it's
> quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.

Can we discuss that out?

>> Obviously the villagers didn't care
>> too much about the health of their sacrifice.
>
> *amusement*

*satisfied grin*

{At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/}

> 'seem to be following them', 'probably thought they'.

::nods::

{Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably were/}

> 'how they had managed', 'futile and probably the only houses were the ones'.
> (note the two 'and's in the original)

Hm, I'm still having problems with the word order it seems.

>> Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
>> girl down with her.
>
> Ay) 'in' or 'on'?

"in". It's soft and you'll think in.

> Bee) ...
>
> ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*

How?

> (And no, not referring to
> grammar/spelling.)

<g>

{It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.}

> Firstly, 'all of a sudden', and secondly: have you considered an elipsis
> instead of a full stop to end the paragraph?

Of *a* sudden? And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there. I
hope that's not a problem.

> Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches memory*

And? What did you find?

> And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to her...unless a
> third party finds her first.

We'll see.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Related resources
Anonymous
May 29, 2004 5:50:53 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncbgbpm.to.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-05-27, illusion
> <c953l6$oa6$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrncbbqua.msm.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x7.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.
> >
> > *reads curiously*
>
> ::listens curiously for comments::

*much happiness at story*

> >> ----
> >>
> >> Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
> >
> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain...
the
> > right meaning, but the right form?
>
> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...

Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you meant.
Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?

> {Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand/to see the hand/}
>
> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise, what
is
>
> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?

Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about it
doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer to 'what
was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in there.

> > it they're realizing? Oh, and ', the village'.
>
> Damn, I overread that.

*nods slightly*

> > Also, something between 'see' and 'hand'. Perhaps 'making it impossible
for
> > a person to see their hand before their eyes'. Oh, and 'to' instead of
> > 'too'.
>
> What about "to see the hand before the eyes"? I really don't want to put
> an explicit subject in here - shouldn't be neccessary either.

Change it to 'to see hand before eyes' and it's fine. The 'the' refers to a
specific hand or specific eyes.

> {Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}
>
> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void', I
> > think.
>
> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be completely
> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it - more a
> direction than a fixed point.

Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void', for
example.

> {The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.}
> >
> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
>
> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.

The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't 'good'.
Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost as
good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was just'.
But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as actually
being able to see for determining', which would make it work better. But I
still suggest 'useful'.

> {The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding the man crashing/}
>
> > 'narrowly the man'--what man? 'Elias stepped to the side and was
narrowly
> > missed by a man who crashed into the wall next to him; unperturbed, he
> > continued listening closely.'
>
> Sorry, that should be "narrowly avoiding the man crashing". Somehow I
> messed that up... Or perhaps "avoiding the man that crashed".

Hmm. In any case, the 'the' should be replaced. Saying 'the man', whatever
the man then did, suggests that he's been mentioned before.'narrowly
avoiding a man who crashed', or 'avoiding a man who crashed'.

> {There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.}
>
> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
>
> If I _whish_?

No, /wish/.

> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/ought/should/
> s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now was't the time for pride/}
>
> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
such-and-such.
> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
>
> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?

*frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction above*

....You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
*twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should', and
'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.

> > Also, 'but
> > now wasn't the time for pride'. Or something along those lines, at
least.
>
> My construct doesn't work, does it?

That depends on what you mean by 'construct'... *looks up* ...Replace
'was't' with 'wasn't', and the correction is good. *nod nod*

> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to? *looks
> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the
stake.
>
> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?

Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She ran.',
for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that... Basically,
did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of what,
rather than the what itself.

....If that makes any sense.

*after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell that
allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes, maybe bad
pun. Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she was
going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her, but this
wasn't the time for pride.'

*looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*

> {Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/}
>
> > 'broke into a full run'.
>
> Why, actually?

Hrm. Not exactly certain... and there's a slight chance that I could be
wrong... but I /think/ that 'a full run' is a singular term, a noun that
you can break into, whereas 'full' in 'full run' would be an adverb,
describing /how/ you run.

....No, wait. In 'a full run', 'a run' is the noun, and 'full' is the
adverb, which describes the run... 'full run' isn't actually /anything/.
It's like saying 'broke into cold sweat' instead of 'broke into a cold
sweat'.

> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
> >> get through them without even slowing down.
> >
> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
>
> I think headless - like "without leader".

I see. Probably suffices either way.

> {At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/}
>
> > 'even one more time'. Unless she actually means to let them use it
again.
>
> Oops. I had "even" in there at some time, but it got replaced in one of
> the various revisions... you are perfectly right, of course.

Thank you. *bows*

> {Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done/they done/}
>
> > 'what had they done to her?'
>
> Somehow I like "only", eh?

*nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question mark
to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use 'causing'
before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a better term,
it might be preferable.

> {Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/}
>
> > *winces* 'lose'. When something's missing, you haven't 'loost' it,
you've
> > 'lost' it...
>
> Oh, no. Tell me I didn't mess that up *again*!

Sorry.

> {The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}
>
> > 'fog, so she'
>
> Typo, most certainly.

*nods*

> > Also, if you wish replace 'for sure' with something else... maybe 'she
was
> > certainly heavier than she looked' or 'she was definitely heavier than
she
> > looked'.
>
> Erm, yes.

*nods; smiles to himself*

> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting! And
> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
different
> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
>
> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.

*laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*

> > ...Of course, the 'interesting new character' thought-line is moot if
she
> > dies within the next several seconds. *amusement*
>
> Well, let's see. <eg>

*grins*

> {How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to get out of here like that?}
>
> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better) 'How
> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the 'like
> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
>
> Suggestion made...

*thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this' with
'that', perhaps.

> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't
> even properly walk like that!"

Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and the
beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'

> >> Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
> >> headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again he
> >> had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act either.
> >
> > ...Wait. /Are/ they literally headless? If not, I'd suggest replacing
it
> > with 'sightless' here.
>
> "leaderless"/without thinking. "sightless" doesn't really mean the right
> thing, IMHO.

I see. Keep it this way, it makes sense via either interpretation.

> {The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.}
>
> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
>
> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute no-do, I
> know. Let's have a look at it...
> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."

Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...

> {The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/}
>
> > 'burned the skin', or 'burning her skin' or 'burning their skin'. I'd
> > suggest the first, however, since it probably doesn't apply to just the
two
> > of them.
>
> All right.

Hoowah!

> {Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.}
>
> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though
it's
> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.

Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the fires
around her, she'.

> Can we discuss that out?

No 'out'. And yes, we can.

> >> Obviously the villagers didn't care
> >> too much about the health of their sacrifice.
> >
> > *amusement*
>
> *satisfied grin*

"Hoowah!"

> {At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/}
>
> > 'seem to be following them', 'probably thought they'.
>
> ::nods::

*nods as well*

> {Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/}
>
> > 'how they had managed', 'futile and probably the only houses were the
ones'.
> > (note the two 'and's in the original)
>
> Hm, I'm still having problems with the word order it seems.

*nods slightly* Oh, and maybe 'managed to get even this far'.

> >> Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
> >> girl down with her.
> >
> > Ay) 'in' or 'on'?
>
> "in". It's soft and you'll think in.

Makes sense.

> > Bee) ...
> >
> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
>
> How?

I draw the line at actually spelling it out.

> > (And no, not referring to
> > grammar/spelling.)
>
> <g>

Thingamajig. *nods sagely*

> {It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.}
>
> > Firstly, 'all of a sudden', and secondly: have you considered an
elipsis
> > instead of a full stop to end the paragraph?
>
> Of *a* sudden?

Most definitely.

> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there. I
> hope that's not a problem.

Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of finality,
and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip into
the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
unconciousness.

> > Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches
memory*
>
> And? What did you find?

....still looking...

....wait. Above, is the spell Laiva created one to allow her to see in the
fog, or to create the fog (which didn't affect her)?

> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
her...unless a
> > third party finds her first.
>
> We'll see.

*nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he corrects
this one*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
May 31, 2004 12:08:07 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-05-29, illusion
<c9a0vc$67v$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncbgbpm.to.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
>> And when it was 2004-05-27, illusion
>> <c953l6$oa6$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
>> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
>> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
>> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
>> >
> news:slrncbbqua.msm.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x7.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> >> So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.
>> >
>> > *reads curiously*
>>
>> ::listens curiously for comments::
>
> *much happiness at story*

::is pleased::

{Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.}

>> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain...
> the
>> > right meaning, but the right form?
>>
>> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
>
> Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you meant.
> Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?

'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
problem with 'condensated'...

{Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}

>> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise, what
> is
>>
>> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
>
> Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about it
> doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer to 'what
> was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in there.

Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?

>> > Also, something between 'see' and 'hand'. Perhaps 'making it impossible
> for
>> > a person to see their hand before their eyes'. Oh, and 'to' instead of
>> > 'too'.
>>
>> What about "to see the hand before the eyes"? I really don't want to put
>> an explicit subject in here - shouldn't be neccessary either.
>
> Change it to 'to see hand before eyes' and it's fine. The 'the' refers to a
> specific hand or specific eyes.

Ah.

{Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}

>> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void', I
>> > think.
>>
>> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be completely
>> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it - more a
>> direction than a fixed point.
>
> Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
> explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void', for
> example.

That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?

{The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training.}

>> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
>>
>> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
>
> The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't 'good'.
> Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost as
> good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was just'.
> But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as actually
> being able to see for determining', which would make it work better. But I
> still suggest 'useful'.

were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
I just don't like 'useful' here...

{The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/}

>> > 'narrowly the man'--what man? 'Elias stepped to the side and was
> narrowly
>> > missed by a man who crashed into the wall next to him; unperturbed, he
>> > continued listening closely.'
>>
>> Sorry, that should be "narrowly avoiding the man crashing". Somehow I
>> messed that up... Or perhaps "avoiding the man that crashed".
>
> Hmm. In any case, the 'the' should be replaced. Saying 'the man', whatever
> the man then did, suggests that he's been mentioned before.'narrowly
> avoiding a man who crashed', or 'avoiding a man who crashed'.

All right

{There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.}

>> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
>>
>> If I _whish_?
>
> No, /wish/.

&*#$!
If I _wish_?

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/ought/should/
s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}

>> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
> such-and-such.
>> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
>>
>> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
>
> *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction above*
>
> ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
> *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should', and
> 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.

OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant was
something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me, say
it again <veg>'.

>> > Also, 'but
>> > now wasn't the time for pride'. Or something along those lines, at
> least.
>>
>> My construct doesn't work, does it?
>
> That depends on what you mean by 'construct'... *looks up* ...Replace
> 'was't' with 'wasn't', and the correction is good. *nod nod*

'Construct' here meant 'my original construction/design/version'.

>> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to? *looks
>> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the
> stake.
>>
>> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
>
> Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She ran.',
> for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that... Basically,
> did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of what,
> rather than the what itself.
>
> ...If that makes any sense.

Erm, yes, it does, although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
point entirely. Probably my fault, though.

> *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell that
> allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes, maybe bad
> pun.

Could be worse.

> Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
> succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she was
> going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her, but this
> wasn't the time for pride.'
>
> *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*

Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.

{Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/}

>> > 'broke into a full run'.
>>
>> Why, actually?
>
> Hrm. Not exactly certain... and there's a slight chance that I could be
> wrong... but I /think/ that 'a full run' is a singular term, a noun that
> you can break into, whereas 'full' in 'full run' would be an adverb,
> describing /how/ you run.
>
> ...No, wait. In 'a full run', 'a run' is the noun, and 'full' is the
> adverb, which describes the run... 'full run' isn't actually /anything/.
> It's like saying 'broke into cold sweat' instead of 'broke into a cold
> sweat'.

I see no problem with 'broke into cold sweat'... <veg>
I think I know what you mean, I'm just missing the feeling for it.

>> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
>> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
>> >> get through them without even slowing down.
>> >
>> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
>>
>> I think headless - like "without leader".
>
> I see. Probably suffices either way.

Erm, what?

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

{Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her/ropes, letting her/}

>> > 'what had they done to her?'
>>
>> Somehow I like "only", eh?
>
> *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question mark
> to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use 'causing'
> before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a better term,
> it might be preferable.

Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd require a
complete restructering of the sentence, I think.

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

{The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}

>> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting! And
>> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
> different
>> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
>>
>> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
>
> *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*

I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...

>> > ...Of course, the 'interesting new character' thought-line is moot if
> she
>> > dies within the next several seconds. *amusement*
>>
>> Well, let's see. <eg>
>
> *grins*

::smiles::

{How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk!/}

>> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better) 'How
>> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the 'like
>> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
>>
>> Suggestion made...
>
> *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this' with
> 'that', perhaps.

That sounds... stupid, IMHO...

>> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't
>> even properly walk like that!"
>
> Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and the
> beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'

I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?

>> >> Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
>> >> headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again he
>> >> had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act either.
>> >
>> > ...Wait. /Are/ they literally headless? If not, I'd suggest replacing
> it
>> > with 'sightless' here.
>>
>> "leaderless"/without thinking. "sightless" doesn't really mean the right
>> thing, IMHO.
>
> I see. Keep it this way, it makes sense via either interpretation.

All right.

{The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}

>> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
>> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
>>
>> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute no-do, I
>> know. Let's have a look at it...
>> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
>
> Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...

YIKES!

{The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/}

{Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/}

>> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though
> it's
>> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
>
> Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
> she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the fires
> around her, she'.
>
>> Can we discuss that out?
>
> No 'out'. And yes, we can.

Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously isn't
quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for some
time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I don't
want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the climax,
but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to you?

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> > 'how they had managed', 'futile and probably the only houses were the
> ones'.
>> > (note the two 'and's in the original)
>>
>> Hm, I'm still having problems with the word order it seems.
>
> *nods slightly* Oh, and maybe 'managed to get even this far'.

Yes, that's probably be a good idea.

>> >> Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
>> >> girl down with her.
>> >
>> > Ay) 'in' or 'on'?
>>
>> "in". It's soft and you'll think in.
>
> Makes sense.

And make that 'sink'...

>> > Bee) ...
>> >
>> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
>>
>> How?
>
> I draw the line at actually spelling it out.

I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
(And I always thought death was worst. [1])

{It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}

>> > Firstly, 'all of a sudden', and secondly: have you considered an
> elipsis
>> > instead of a full stop to end the paragraph?
>>
>> Of *a* sudden?
>
> Most definitely.

Hm...

>> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
>> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there. I
>> hope that's not a problem.
>
> Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of finality,
> and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip into
> the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
> unconciousness.

'The reader can work it out.'
I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but you
are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to plenty
of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm not
sure.

>> > Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches
> memory*
>>
>> And? What did you find?
>
> ...still looking...
>
> ...wait. Above, is the spell Laiva created one to allow her to see in the
> fog, or to create the fog (which didn't affect her)?

Perhaps you should reread some older installments...

>> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
> her...unless a
>> > third party finds her first.
>>
>> We'll see.
>
> *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he corrects
> this one*

That could take some time. Things changed that drastically since I threw
a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
everything below the next paragraph. That's going to take some time and
time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
May 31, 2004 9:16:55 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncblil3.p3.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-05-29, illusion
> <c9a0vc$67v$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> > news:slrncbgbpm.to.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> >> And when it was 2004-05-27, illusion
> >> <c953l6$oa6$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> >> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> >> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> >> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >> >
> >
news:slrncbbqua.msm.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x7.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> >> So... a few more lines. Anyone wanting to comment? *I* don't.
> >> >
> >> > *reads curiously*
> >>
> >> ::listens curiously for comments::
> >
> > *much happiness at story*
>
> ::is pleased::

NAJISBU.

> {Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.}
>
> >> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain...
> > the
> >> > right meaning, but the right form?
> >>
> >> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
> >
> > Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you
meant.
> > Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?
>
> 'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
> problem with 'condensated'...

Probably because I don't fully remember how the word's supposed to be used.

condensate // n.
a substance produced by condensation.

condensation // n.
1 the act of condensing.
2 any condensed material (esp. water on a cold surface).
3 an abridgement.
4 Chem. the combination of molecules with the elimination of water or other
small molecules.
[Late Latin condensatio (as condense)]

> {Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}
>
> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise,
what
> > is
> >>
> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
> >
> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about it
> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer to
'what
> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in there.
>
> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?

How so?

> >> > Also, something between 'see' and 'hand'. Perhaps 'making it
impossible
> > for
> >> > a person to see their hand before their eyes'. Oh, and 'to' instead
of
> >> > 'too'.
> >>
> >> What about "to see the hand before the eyes"? I really don't want to
put
> >> an explicit subject in here - shouldn't be neccessary either.
> >
> > Change it to 'to see hand before eyes' and it's fine. The 'the' refers
to a
> > specific hand or specific eyes.
>
> Ah.

*nods slightly*

> {Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}
>
> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void',
I
> >> > think.
> >>
> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be completely
> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it - more a
> >> direction than a fixed point.
> >
> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void', for
> > example.
>
> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?

Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign directions,
but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good way to do
it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*

> {The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.}
>
> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
> >>
> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
> >
> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't
'good'.
> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost as
> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was just'.
> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as actually
> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work better.
But I
> > still suggest 'useful'.
>
> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
> I just don't like 'useful' here...

Pity... it at least appears to fit well.

'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as good'--it
doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well /at/,
or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so almost as
effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
something to say what it's for.

> {The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/}
>
> >> > 'narrowly the man'--what man? 'Elias stepped to the side and was
> > narrowly
> >> > missed by a man who crashed into the wall next to him; unperturbed,
he
> >> > continued listening closely.'
> >>
> >> Sorry, that should be "narrowly avoiding the man crashing". Somehow I
> >> messed that up... Or perhaps "avoiding the man that crashed".
> >
> > Hmm. In any case, the 'the' should be replaced. Saying 'the man',
whatever
> > the man then did, suggests that he's been mentioned before.'narrowly
> > avoiding a man who crashed', or 'avoiding a man who crashed'.
>
> All right

*smiles* Hoowah!

> {There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.}
>
> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
> >>
> >> If I _whish_?
> >
> > No, /wish/.
>
> &*#$!
> If I _wish_?

*nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of, at
least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from A to B'
suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of the
village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase for an
area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's better.
Maybe, at least.

And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain which
should be used in which context.

> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/ought/should/
> s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}
>
> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
> > such-and-such.
> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
> >>
> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
> >
> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
above*
> >
> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should', and
> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
>
> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant was
> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me, say
> it again <veg>'.

Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does it,
someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not talking
about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in specific. The
'should' brings it to the present.

> >> > Also, 'but
> >> > now wasn't the time for pride'. Or something along those lines, at
> > least.
> >>
> >> My construct doesn't work, does it?
> >
> > That depends on what you mean by 'construct'... *looks up* ...Replace
> > 'was't' with 'wasn't', and the correction is good. *nod nod*
>
> 'Construct' here meant 'my original construction/design/version'.

Ah.

> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
*looks
> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the
> > stake.
> >>
> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
> >
> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She
ran.',
> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
Basically,
> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of what,
> > rather than the what itself.
> >
> > ...If that makes any sense.
>
> Erm, yes, it does,

Ah, that's good.

> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.

Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized it
toward the end of the post.

> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell that
> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes, maybe
bad
> > pun.
>
> Could be worse.

Thingamajig.

> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she was
> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her, but
this
> > wasn't the time for pride.'
> >
> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
>
> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.

*awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did, procedes
downward...*

> {Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/}
>
> >> > 'broke into a full run'.
> >>
> >> Why, actually?
> >
> > Hrm. Not exactly certain... and there's a slight chance that I could
be
> > wrong... but I /think/ that 'a full run' is a singular term, a noun
that
> > you can break into, whereas 'full' in 'full run' would be an adverb,
> > describing /how/ you run.
> >
> > ...No, wait. In 'a full run', 'a run' is the noun, and 'full' is the
> > adverb, which describes the run... 'full run' isn't actually
/anything/.
> > It's like saying 'broke into cold sweat' instead of 'broke into a cold
> > sweat'.
>
> I see no problem with 'broke into cold sweat'... <veg>

Bah.

> I think I know what you mean, I'm just missing the feeling for it.

Skah... Still, correction good. *nod nod*

> >> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
> >> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
> >> >> get through them without even slowing down.
> >> >
> >> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
> >>
> >> I think headless - like "without leader".
> >
> > I see. Probably suffices either way.
>
> Erm, what?

Basically, whichever way the reader takes it to mean, it doesn't matter.
More or less, actually, when you/someone consider/s that she can see their
faces.

> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> {Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her/ropes, letting her/}
>
> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
> >>
> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
> >
> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question
mark
> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use 'causing'
> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a better
term,
> > it might be preferable.
>
> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd require a
> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.

'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change is good,
as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of 'letting
her to sink to the ground'.

> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> {The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}
>
> >> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting!
And
> >> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
> > different
> >> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
> >>
> >> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
> >
> > *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*
>
> I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...

*pat pat* You'll learn. *grins*

> >> > ...Of course, the 'interesting new character' thought-line is moot if
> > she
> >> > dies within the next several seconds. *amusement*
> >>
> >> Well, let's see. <eg>
> >
> > *grins*
>
> ::smiles::

NAJISBU.

> {How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk!/}
>
> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better)
'How
> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the
'like
> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
> >>
> >> Suggestion made...
> >
> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this' with
> > 'that', perhaps.
>
> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...

Erm, what?

> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't
> >> even properly walk like that!"
> >
> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and
the
> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
>
> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?

'think', not 'thik'...

The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now', it
outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then) she
couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality, etc.

> >> >> Apart from the occasional steps right and left, to avoid the still
> >> >> headless people, Elias hadn't shifted his position, but then again
he
> >> >> had seen worse in his time and he wasn't under pressure to act
either.
> >> >
> >> > ...Wait. /Are/ they literally headless? If not, I'd suggest
replacing
> > it
> >> > with 'sightless' here.
> >>
> >> "leaderless"/without thinking. "sightless" doesn't really mean the
right
> >> thing, IMHO.
> >
> > I see. Keep it this way, it makes sense via either interpretation.
>
> All right.

*nods to himself*

> {The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}
>
> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
> >>
> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute no-do,
I
> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
> >
> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
>
> YIKES!

*pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that' being
'that she was doing well')

> {The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/}
>
> {Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/}
>
> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though
> > it's
> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
> >
> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the
fires
> > around her, she'.
> >
> >> Can we discuss that out?
> >
> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
>
> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously isn't
> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for some
> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I don't
> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the climax,
> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to you?

I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?

And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer that
'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question: The
fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's referring to
them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues around' as
opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking about
/specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and I did
indeed not want an apostrophe there.

> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> > 'how they had managed', 'futile and probably the only houses were the
> > ones'.
> >> > (note the two 'and's in the original)
> >>
> >> Hm, I'm still having problems with the word order it seems.
> >
> > *nods slightly* Oh, and maybe 'managed to get even this far'.
>
> Yes, that's probably be a good idea.

*smiles*

> >> >> Laiva stumbled and landed in the soft snow, pulling the other
> >> >> girl down with her.
> >> >
> >> > Ay) 'in' or 'on'?
> >>
> >> "in". It's soft and you'll think in.
> >
> > Makes sense.
>
> And make that 'sink'...

Oh. *nods again*

> >> > Bee) ...
> >> >
> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
> >>
> >> How?
> >
> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
>
> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.

....All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The one with
the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
/melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.

Got it yet?

> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])

Heh.

> {It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}
>
> >> > Firstly, 'all of a sudden', and secondly: have you considered an
> > elipsis
> >> > instead of a full stop to end the paragraph?
> >>
> >> Of *a* sudden?
> >
> > Most definitely.
>
> Hm...

Good!

> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there. I
> >> hope that's not a problem.
> >
> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
finality,
> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip
into
> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
> > unconciousness.
>
> 'The reader can work it out.'

*sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the reader
is carried along without having to think, only experience, not frequently
stop to work out what the book is talking about.

> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but you
> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to plenty
> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm not
> sure.

Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as serious',
if you wish.)

> >> > Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches
> > memory*
> >>
> >> And? What did you find?
> >
> > ...still looking...
> >
> > ...wait. Above, is the spell Laiva created one to allow her to see in
the
> > fog, or to create the fog (which didn't affect her)?
>
> Perhaps you should reread some older installments...

Maybe I should... yes or no?

> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
> > her...unless a
> >> > third party finds her first.
> >>
> >> We'll see.
> >
> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
corrects
> > this one*
>
> That could take some time.

Fair enough.

> Things changed that drastically since I threw
> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
> everything below the next paragraph.

*grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)

> That's going to take some time and
> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.

Rulg.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
June 1, 2004 11:47:31 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-05-31, illusion
<c9flpn$iak$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:

{Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/}

>> >> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not certain...
>> > the
>> >> > right meaning, but the right form?
>> >>
>> >> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
>> >
>> > Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you
> meant.
>> > Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?
>>
>> 'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
>> problem with 'condensated'...
>
> Probably because I don't fully remember how the word's supposed to be used.
>
> condensate // n.
> a substance produced by condensation.
>
> condensation // n.
> 1 the act of condensing.
> 2 any condensed material (esp. water on a cold surface).
> 3 an abridgement.
> 4 Chem. the combination of molecules with the elimination of water or other
> small molecules.
> [Late Latin condensatio (as condense)]

Maybe I should use 'condensed' instead...

{Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}

>> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise,
> what
>> > is
>> >>
>> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
>> >
>> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about it
>> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer to
> 'what
>> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in there.
>>
>> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
>
> How so?

I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
(please, please, please)

{Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}

>> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white void',
> I
>> >> > think.
>> >>
>> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be completely
>> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it - more a
>> >> direction than a fixed point.
>> >
>> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
>> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void', for
>> > example.
>>
>> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
>
> Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign directions,
> but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good way to do
> it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*

I'll think about it.

{The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training.}

>> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
>> >>
>> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
>> >
>> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't
> 'good'.
>> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost as
>> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was just'.
>> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as actually
>> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work better.
> But I
>> > still suggest 'useful'.
>>
>> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
>> I just don't like 'useful' here...
>
> Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
>
> 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as good'--it
> doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well /at/,
> or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so almost as
> effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
> something to say what it's for.

Hmm....

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

{There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.}

>> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
>> >>
>> >> If I _whish_?
>> >
>> > No, /wish/.
>>
>> &*#$!
>> If I _wish_?
>
> *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of, at
> least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from A to B'
> suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of the
> village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase for an
> area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's better.
> Maybe, at least.

Erm...

> And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain which
> should be used in which context.

Damn.

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/ought/should/
s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}

>> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
>> > such-and-such.
>> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
>> >>
>> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
>> >
>> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
> above*
>> >
>> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
>> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should', and
>> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
>>
>> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant was
>> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me, say
>> it again <veg>'.
>
> Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
> someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does it,
> someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not talking
> about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in specific. The
> 'should' brings it to the present.

And that puts us where exactly?

>> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
> *looks
>> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to the
>> > stake.
>> >>
>> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
>> >
>> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She
> ran.',
>> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
> Basically,
>> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of what,
>> > rather than the what itself.
>> >
>> > ...If that makes any sense.
>>
>> Erm, yes, it does,
>
> Ah, that's good.

Indeed.

>> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
>> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
>
> Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized it
> toward the end of the post.

If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...

>> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell that
>> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes, maybe
> bad
>> > pun.
>>
>> Could be worse.
>
> Thingamajig.

NAJISBU

>> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
>> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she was
>> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her, but
> this
>> > wasn't the time for pride.'
>> >
>> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
>>
>> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.
>
> *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did, procedes
> downward...*

I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might want to
have a look at some details.

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

>> >> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
>> >> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed to
>> >> >> get through them without even slowing down.
>> >> >
>> >> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
>> >>
>> >> I think headless - like "without leader".
>> >
>> > I see. Probably suffices either way.
>>
>> Erm, what?
>
> Basically, whichever way the reader takes it to mean, it doesn't matter.
> More or less, actually, when you/someone consider/s that she can see their
> faces.

I should get more sleep...

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

>> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
>> >>
>> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
>> >
>> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question
> mark
>> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use 'causing'
>> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a better
> term,
>> > it might be preferable.
>>
>> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd require a
>> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
>
> 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change is good,
> as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of 'letting
> her to sink to the ground'.

Oh, erm, yes.

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

{The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}

>> >> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting!
> And
>> >> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
>> > different
>> >> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
>> >>
>> >> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
>> >
>> > *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*
>>
>> I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...
>
> *pat pat* You'll learn. *grins*

I'm just not made for it...

{How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk!/}

>> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even better)
> 'How
>> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the
> 'like
>> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
>> >>
>> >> Suggestion made...
>> >
>> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this' with
>> > 'that', perhaps.
>>
>> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
>
> Erm, what?

'in this state'.

>> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't
>> >> even properly walk like that!"
>> >
>> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and
> the
>> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
>>
>> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
>
> 'think', not 'thik'...
>
> The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now', it
> outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then) she
> couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality, etc.

I liked 'like that' better...

{The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}

>> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their own
>> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
>> >>
>> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute no-do,
> I
>> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
>> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
>> >
>> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
>>
>> YIKES!
>
> *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that' being
> 'that she was doing well')

I dunno, not really my style.

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

{Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/}

>> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else, though
>> > it's
>> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
>> >
>> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
>> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the
> fires
>> > around her, she'.
>> >
>> >> Can we discuss that out?
>> >
>> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
>>
>> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously isn't
>> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
>> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for some
>> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I don't
>> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the climax,
>> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
>> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to you?
>
> I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?

Yes, something like that.

> And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer that
> 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question: The
> fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's referring to
> them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues around' as
> opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking about
> /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and I did
> indeed not want an apostrophe there.

::nods::

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> > Bee) ...
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
>> >>
>> >> How?
>> >
>> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
>>
>> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
>
> ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The one with
> the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
> /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.
>
> Got it yet?

You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any) Monty Python
around here.

>> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
>
> Heh.

What kind and refering to what?

{It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}

>> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
>> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there. I
>> >> hope that's not a problem.
>> >
>> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
> finality,
>> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip
> into
>> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
>> > unconciousness.
>>
>> 'The reader can work it out.'
>
> *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the reader
> is carried along without having to think, only experience, not frequently
> stop to work out what the book is talking about.

Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."

>> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but you
>> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to plenty
>> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm not
>> sure.
>
> Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as serious',
> if you wish.)

Ah, yes.

>> >> > Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog? *searches
>> > memory*
>> >>
>> >> And? What did you find?
>> >
>> > ...still looking...
>> >
>> > ...wait. Above, is the spell Laiva created one to allow her to see in
> the
>> > fog, or to create the fog (which didn't affect her)?
>>
>> Perhaps you should reread some older installments...
>
> Maybe I should... yes or no?

Yes. Want the PDF? <eg>

>> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
>> > her...unless a
>> >> > third party finds her first.
>> >>
>> >> We'll see.
>> >
>> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
> corrects
>> > this one*
>>
>> That could take some time.
>
> Fair enough.

True...

>> Things changed that drastically since I threw
>> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
>> everything below the next paragraph.
>
> *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)

In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.

>> That's going to take some time and
>> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
>
> Rulg.

::shrugs::
That's life.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
June 1, 2004 10:54:26 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncbo5qd.sd.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-05-31, illusion
> <c9flpn$iak$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
>
> {Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/}
>
> >> >> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not
certain...
> >> > the
> >> >> > right meaning, but the right form?
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
> >> >
> >> > Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you
> > meant.
> >> > Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?
> >>
> >> 'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
> >> problem with 'condensated'...
> >
> > Probably because I don't fully remember how the word's supposed to be
used.
> >
> > condensate // n.
> > a substance produced by condensation.
> >
> > condensation // n.
> > 1 the act of condensing.
> > 2 any condensed material (esp. water on a cold surface).
> > 3 an abridgement.
> > 4 Chem. the combination of molecules with the elimination of water or
other
> > small molecules.
> > [Late Latin condensatio (as condense)]
>
> Maybe I should use 'condensed' instead...

Maybe. *searches*

condense // v.
1 tr. make denser or more concentrated.
2 tr. express in fewer words; make concise.
3 tr. & intr. reduce or be reduced from a gas or vapour to a liquid (or
occasionally a solid).
condensable adj.
[French condenser or Latin condensare (as com-, densus 'thick')]

> {Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}
>
> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise,
> > what
> >> > is
> >> >>
> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
> >> >
> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about
it
> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer
to
> > 'what
> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in
there.
> >>
> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
> >
> > How so?
>
> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
> (please, please, please)

Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my brilliant writing,
and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter. So you can
(hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend to usually be.

> {Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}
>
> >> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white
void',
> > I
> >> >> > think.
> >> >>
> >> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be
completely
> >> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it -
more a
> >> >> direction than a fixed point.
> >> >
> >> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
> >> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void',
for
> >> > example.
> >>
> >> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
> >
> > Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign
directions,
> > but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good way
to do
> > it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*
>
> I'll think about it.

Thank you.

> {The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.}
>
> >> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
> >> >>
> >> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
> >> >
> >> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't
> > 'good'.
> >> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost
as
> >> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was
just'.
> >> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as
actually
> >> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work better.
> > But I
> >> > still suggest 'useful'.
> >>
> >> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
> >> I just don't like 'useful' here...
> >
> > Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
> >
> > 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as
good'--it
> > doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well
/at/,
> > or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so almost
as
> > effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
> > something to say what it's for.
>
> Hmm....

Hrm?

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> {There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.}
>
> >> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
> >> >>
> >> >> If I _whish_?
> >> >
> >> > No, /wish/.
> >>
> >> &*#$!
> >> If I _wish_?
> >
> > *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of, at
> > least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from A
to B'
> > suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of
the
> > village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase
for an
> > area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's
better.
> > Maybe, at least.
>
> Erm...

I'm just imagining it, aren't I? *paranoid*

> > And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain
which
> > should be used in which context.
>
> Damn.

Sorry. *searches*

toward prep. & adj.
prep. /, , / = towards.
adj. // archaic
1 about to take place; in process.
2 docile, apt.
3 promising, auspicious

towards /, , / prep.
1 in the direction of (set out towards town).
2 as regards; in relation to (his attitude towards death).
3 as a contribution to; for (put this towards your expenses).
4 near (towards the end of our journey).
[Old English toweard (adj.) 'future' (as to, -ward)]

> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/ought/should/
> s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}
>
> >> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
> >> > such-and-such.
> >> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
> >> >
> >> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
> > above*
> >> >
> >> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
> >> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should',
and
> >> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
> >>
> >> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant was
> >> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me, say
> >> it again <veg>'.
> >
> > Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
> > someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does it,
> > someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not talking
> > about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in specific.
The
> > 'should' brings it to the present.
>
> And that puts us where exactly?

....Not sure what you mean. But in essense, 'ought' means the same as
'should', and /because of that/ should be replaced by something else. 'some
might say', for example, might be good... hrm.

> >> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
> > *looks
> >> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to
the
> >> > stake.
> >> >>
> >> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
> >> >
> >> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She
> > ran.',
> >> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
> > Basically,
> >> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of
what,
> >> > rather than the what itself.
> >> >
> >> > ...If that makes any sense.
> >>
> >> Erm, yes, it does,
> >
> > Ah, that's good.
>
> Indeed.

Hoowah!

> >> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
> >> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
> >
> > Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized it
> > toward the end of the post.
>
> If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...

*heads in the direction of Google Groups* Ah. *tries to think of how
everything he's been talking about should be properly changed to accurately
reflect the true state of events*

> >> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell
that
> >> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes,
maybe
> > bad
> >> > pun.
> >>
> >> Could be worse.
> >
> > Thingamajig.
>
> NAJISBU
>
> >> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
> >> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she
was
> >> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her,
but
> > this
> >> > wasn't the time for pride.'
> >> >
> >> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
> >>
> >> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.
> >
> > *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did, procedes
> > downward...*
>
> I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might want to
> have a look at some details.
>
> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> >> >> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
> >> >> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed
to
> >> >> >> get through them without even slowing down.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
> >> >>
> >> >> I think headless - like "without leader".
> >> >
> >> > I see. Probably suffices either way.
> >>
> >> Erm, what?
> >
> > Basically, whichever way the reader takes it to mean, it doesn't matter.
> > More or less, actually, when you/someone consider/s that she can see
their
> > faces.
>
> I should get more sleep...

Oh. Maybe.

> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> >> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
> >> >>
> >> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
> >> >
> >> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question
> > mark
> >> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use
'causing'
> >> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a
better
> > term,
> >> > it might be preferable.
> >>
> >> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd require
a
> >> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
> >
> > 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change is
good,
> > as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of
'letting
> > her to sink to the ground'.
>
> Oh, erm, yes.
>
> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> {The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}
>
> >> >> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting!
> > And
> >> >> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
> >> > different
> >> >> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
> >> >
> >> > *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*
> >>
> >> I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...
> >
> > *pat pat* You'll learn. *grins*
>
> I'm just not made for it...

Bah.

> {How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk!/}
>
> >> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even
better)
> > 'How
> >> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the
> > 'like
> >> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
> >> >>
> >> >> Suggestion made...
> >> >
> >> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this'
with
> >> > 'that', perhaps.
> >>
> >> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
> >
> > Erm, what?
>
> 'in this state'.

'in that state', then.

> >> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She
couldn't
> >> >> even properly walk like that!"
> >> >
> >> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and
> > the
> >> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
> >>
> >> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
> >
> > 'think', not 'thik'...
> >
> > The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now', it
> > outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then) she
> > couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality, etc.
>
> I liked 'like that' better...

*considers for a moment or two, then nods* Probably it'll ('like that')
work, then.

> {The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}
>
> >> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their
own
> >> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
> >> >>
> >> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute
no-do,
> > I
> >> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
> >> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
> >> >
> >> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
> >>
> >> YIKES!
> >
> > *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that'
being
> > 'that she was doing well')
>
> I dunno, not really my style.

Hrm... Maybe think of the 'of that' as a pointer, pointing to the previous
subject?

> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> {Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/}
>
> >> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else,
though
> >> > it's
> >> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
> >> >
> >> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
> >> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the
> > fires
> >> > around her, she'.
> >> >
> >> >> Can we discuss that out?
> >> >
> >> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
> >>
> >> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously isn't
> >> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
> >> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for some
> >> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I don't
> >> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the climax,
> >> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
> >> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to
you?
> >
> > I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?
>
> Yes, something like that.

*nods to himself* Ahh.

> > And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer that
> > 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question: The
> > fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's
referring to
> > them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues around'
as
> > opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking about
> > /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and I
did
> > indeed not want an apostrophe there.
>
> ::nods::

Good! ...Wait, did you remove the comma? *frowns* Probably will still
work... but comma might be bubhosh.

> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> > Bee) ...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
> >> >>
> >> >> How?
> >> >
> >> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
> >>
> >> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
> >
> > ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The one
with
> > the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
> > /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.
> >
> > Got it yet?
>
> You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any) Monty
Python
> around here.

Depending on what you mean by 'much', it's entirely possible that I've seen
less than you.

> >> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
> >
> > Heh.
>
> What kind and refering to what?

I can't tell without context.

> {It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}
>
> >> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
> >> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there.
I
> >> >> hope that's not a problem.
> >> >
> >> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
> > finality,
> >> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip
> > into
> >> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
> >> > unconciousness.
> >>
> >> 'The reader can work it out.'
> >
> > *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the
reader
> > is carried along without having to think, only experience, not
frequently
> > stop to work out what the book is talking about.
>
> Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
> design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."

*snorts* Funny. But you see, the software should be such that the user
/could/ use it without needing documentation. The problem comes when
documentation is necessary.

> >> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but you
> >> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to
plenty
> >> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm
not
> >> sure.
> >
> > Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as
serious',
> > if you wish.)
>
> Ah, yes.

*smiles, while also attempting to remember what they were talking about
(plenty of whats in the text?)*

> >> >> > Hoowah story! Was it Elias or Laiva who created the fog?
*searches
> >> > memory*
> >> >>
> >> >> And? What did you find?
> >> >
> >> > ...still looking...
> >> >
> >> > ...wait. Above, is the spell Laiva created one to allow her to see
in
> > the
> >> > fog, or to create the fog (which didn't affect her)?
> >>
> >> Perhaps you should reread some older installments...
> >
> > Maybe I should... yes or no?
>
> Yes.

*nods slightly*

> Want the PDF? <eg>

Tempting, but no thank you. Perhaps when all the installments are complete,
and it's one long story. *nod nod*

> >> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
> >> > her...unless a
> >> >> > third party finds her first.
> >> >>
> >> >> We'll see.
> >> >
> >> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
> > corrects
> >> > this one*
> >>
> >> That could take some time.
> >
> > Fair enough.
>
> True...

*nods* (Can I use his own perversity against him?)

> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
> >> everything below the next paragraph.
> >
> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
>
> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.

Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)

> >> That's going to take some time and
> >> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
> >
> > Rulg.
>
> ::shrugs::
> That's life.

Life. Don't talk to me about life.

*amusement*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
June 3, 2004 5:50:41 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-06-01, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncbo5qd.sd.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
{Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/}

>> >> >> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not
> certain...
>> >> > the
>> >> >> > right meaning, but the right form?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
>> >> >
>> >> > Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what you
>> > meant.
>> >> > Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?
>> >>
>> >> 'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
>> >> problem with 'condensated'...
>> >
>> > Probably because I don't fully remember how the word's supposed to be
> used.
>> >
>> > condensate // n.
>> > a substance produced by condensation.
>> >
>> > condensation // n.
>> > 1 the act of condensing.
>> > 2 any condensed material (esp. water on a cold surface).
>> > 3 an abridgement.
>> > 4 Chem. the combination of molecules with the elimination of water or
> other
>> > small molecules.
>> > [Late Latin condensatio (as condense)]
>>
>> Maybe I should use 'condensed' instead...
>
> Maybe. *searches*
>
> condense // v.
> 1 tr. make denser or more concentrated.
> 2 tr. express in fewer words; make concise.
> 3 tr. & intr. reduce or be reduced from a gas or vapour to a liquid (or
> occasionally a solid).
> condensable adj.
> [French condenser or Latin condensare (as com-, densus 'thick')]

And?

{Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}

>> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think. Otherwise,
>> > what
>> >> > is
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
>> >> >
>> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think about
> it
>> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would refer
> to
>> > 'what
>> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in
> there.
>> >>
>> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
>> >
>> > How so?
>>
>> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
>> (please, please, please)
>
> Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my brilliant writing,
> and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter. So you can
> (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend to usually be.

Erm... who did that to you?

{Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}

>> >> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white
> void',
>> > I
>> >> >> > think.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be
> completely
>> >> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it -
> more a
>> >> >> direction than a fixed point.
>> >> >
>> >> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
>> >> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white void',
> for
>> >> > example.
>> >>
>> >> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
>> >
>> > Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign
> directions,
>> > but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good way
> to do
>> > it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*
>>
>> I'll think about it.
>
> Thank you.

NAJISBU

{The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training.}

>> >> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
>> >> >
>> >> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they aren't
>> > 'good'.
>> >> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work. 'almost
> as
>> >> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was
> just'.
>> >> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as
> actually
>> >> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work better.
>> > But I
>> >> > still suggest 'useful'.
>> >>
>> >> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
>> >> I just don't like 'useful' here...
>> >
>> > Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
>> >
>> > 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as
> good'--it
>> > doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well
> /at/,
>> > or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so almost
> as
>> > effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
>> > something to say what it's for.
>>
>> Hmm....
>
> Hrm?

Thinking...

'were almost as good an information source as actually seeing'? No, most
probably not...

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

{There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.}

>> >> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you wish.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> If I _whish_?
>> >> >
>> >> > No, /wish/.
>> >>
>> >> &*#$!
>> >> If I _wish_?
>> >
>> > *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of, at
>> > least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from A
> to B'
>> > suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of
> the
>> > village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase
> for an
>> > area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's
> better.
>> > Maybe, at least.
>>
>> Erm...
>
> I'm just imagining it, aren't I? *paranoid*

Could be...

>> > And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain
> which
>> > should be used in which context.
>>
>> Damn.
>
> Sorry. *searches*
>
> toward prep. & adj.
> prep. /, , / = towards.
> adj. // archaic
> 1 about to take place; in process.
> 2 docile, apt.
> 3 promising, auspicious
>
> towards /, , / prep.
> 1 in the direction of (set out towards town).
> 2 as regards; in relation to (his attitude towards death).
> 3 as a contribution to; for (put this towards your expenses).
> 4 near (towards the end of our journey).
> [Old English toweard (adj.) 'future' (as to, -ward)]

So 'towards'? (Help?!)

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/ought/should/
s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}

>> >> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
>> >> > such-and-such.
>> >> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
>> >> >
>> >> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
>> > above*
>> >> >
>> >> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
>> >> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should',
> and
>> >> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
>> >>
>> >> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant was
>> >> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me, say
>> >> it again <veg>'.
>> >
>> > Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
>> > someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does it,
>> > someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not talking
>> > about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in specific.
> The
>> > 'should' brings it to the present.
>>
>> And that puts us where exactly?
>
> ...Not sure what you mean. But in essense, 'ought' means the same as
> 'should', and /because of that/ should be replaced by something else. 'some
> might say', for example, might be good... hrm.

I'm in trouble...

>> >> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
>> > *looks
>> >> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to
> the
>> >> > stake.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
>> >> >
>> >> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better: 'She
>> > ran.',
>> >> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
>> > Basically,
>> >> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of
> what,
>> >> > rather than the what itself.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...If that makes any sense.
>> >>
>> >> Erm, yes, it does,
>> >
>> > Ah, that's good.
>>
>> Indeed.
>
> Hoowah!

NAJISBU

>> >> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
>> >> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
>> >
>> > Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized it
>> > toward the end of the post.
>>
>> If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...
>
> *heads in the direction of Google Groups* Ah. *tries to think of how
> everything he's been talking about should be properly changed to accurately
> reflect the true state of events*

Tell me what you find.

>> >> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the spell
> that
>> >> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes,
>> >> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
>> >> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she
> was
>> >> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for her,
> but
>> > this
>> >> > wasn't the time for pride.'
>> >> >
>> >> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
>> >>
>> >> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.
>> >
>> > *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did, procedes
>> > downward...*
>>
>> I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might want to
>> have a look at some details.

JISBU?

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

>> >> >> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
>> >> >> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she managed
> to
>> >> >> >> get through them without even slowing down.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I think headless - like "without leader".
>> >> >
>> >> > I see. Probably suffices either way.
>> >>
>> >> Erm, what?
>> >
>> > Basically, whichever way the reader takes it to mean, it doesn't matter.
>> > More or less, actually, when you/someone consider/s that she can see
> their
>> > faces.
>>
>> I should get more sleep...
>
> Oh. Maybe.

Definitely.

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

>> >> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
>> >> >
>> >> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a question
>> > mark
>> >> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use
> 'causing'
>> >> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a
> better
>> > term,
>> >> > it might be preferable.
>> >>
>> >> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd require
> a
>> >> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
>> >
>> > 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change is
> good,
>> > as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of
> 'letting
>> > her to sink to the ground'.
>>
>> Oh, erm, yes.

JISBU?

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

{The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}

>> >> >> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character! Interesting!
>> > And
>> >> >> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of a
>> >> > different
>> >> >> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
>> >> >
>> >> > *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*
>> >>
>> >> I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...
>> >
>> > *pat pat* You'll learn. *grins*
>>
>> I'm just not made for it...
>
> Bah.

....

>> {How were they only
>> getting out of here like that?
>>
>> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
>> walk!/}
>>
>> >> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even
> better)
>> > 'How
>> >> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include the
>> > 'like
>> >> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Suggestion made...
>> >> >
>> >> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this'
> with
>> >> > 'that', perhaps.
>> >>
>> >> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
>> >
>> > Erm, what?
>>
>> 'in this state'.
>
> 'in that state', then.

That doesn't make much of a difference...

>> >> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She
> couldn't
>> >> >> even properly walk like that!"
>> >> >
>> >> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed, and
>> > the
>> >> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
>> >>
>> >> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
>> >
>> > 'think', not 'thik'...
>> >
>> > The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now', it
>> > outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then) she
>> > couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality, etc.
>>
>> I liked 'like that' better...
>
> *considers for a moment or two, then nods* Probably it'll ('like that')
> work, then.

"She couldn't even properly walk like that!"?

{The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}

>> >> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in their
> own
>> >> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute
> no-do,
>> > I
>> >> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
>> >> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
>> >> >
>> >> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
>> >>
>> >> YIKES!
>> >
>> > *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that'
> being
>> > 'that she was doing well')
>>
>> I dunno, not really my style.
>
> Hrm... Maybe think of the 'of that' as a pointer, pointing to the previous
> subject?

Not my style.

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

{Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/}

>> >> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else,
> though
>> >> > it's
>> >> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
>> >> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with the
>> > fires
>> >> > around her, she'.
>> >> >
>> >> >> Can we discuss that out?
>> >> >
>> >> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
>> >>
>> >> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously isn't
>> >> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
>> >> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for some
>> >> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I don't
>> >> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the climax,
>> >> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
>> >> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to
> you?
>> >
>> > I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?
>>
>> Yes, something like that.
>
> *nods to himself* Ahh.

And?

>> > And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer that
>> > 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question: The
>> > fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's
> referring to
>> > them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues around'
> as
>> > opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking about
>> > /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and I
> did
>> > indeed not want an apostrophe there.
>>
>> ::nods::
>
> Good! ...Wait, did you remove the comma? *frowns* Probably will still
> work... but comma might be bubhosh.

Huh? What comma? I can't remember removing any.

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> >> > Bee) ...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> How?
>> >> >
>> >> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
>> >>
>> >> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
>> >
>> > ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The one
> with
>> > the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
>> > /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.
>> >
>> > Got it yet?
>>
>> You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any) Monty
> Python
>> around here.
>
> Depending on what you mean by 'much', it's entirely possible that I've seen
> less than you.

much=hardly any=perhaps by acident, once or twice

>> >> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
>> >
>> > Heh.
>>
>> What kind and refering to what?
>
> I can't tell without context.

It's *your* 'Heh.'.

{It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}

>> >> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
>> >> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in there.
> I
>> >> >> hope that's not a problem.
>> >> >
>> >> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
>> > finality,
>> >> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to slip
>> > into
>> >> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case, hypothermia-induced
>> >> > unconciousness.
>> >>
>> >> 'The reader can work it out.'
>> >
>> > *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the
> reader
>> > is carried along without having to think, only experience, not
> frequently
>> > stop to work out what the book is talking about.
>>
>> Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
>> design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."
>
> *snorts* Funny. But you see, the software should be such that the user
> /could/ use it without needing documentation. The problem comes when
> documentation is necessary.

There are no intuitive programs.

>> >> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but you
>> >> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to
> plenty
>> >> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm
> not
>> >> sure.
>> >
>> > Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as
> serious',
>> > if you wish.)
>>
>> Ah, yes.
>
> *smiles, while also attempting to remember what they were talking about
> (plenty of whats in the text?)*

"..."

>> Want the PDF? <eg>
>
> Tempting, but no thank you. Perhaps when all the installments are complete,
> and it's one long story. *nod nod*

::shrugs::

>> >> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
>> >> > her...unless a
>> >> >> > third party finds her first.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> We'll see.
>> >> >
>> >> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
>> > corrects
>> >> > this one*
>> >>
>> >> That could take some time.
>> >
>> > Fair enough.
>>
>> True...
>
> *nods* (Can I use his own perversity against him?)

Whose? And which perversity?

>> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
>> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
>> >> everything below the next paragraph.
>> >
>> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
>>
>> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.
>
> Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)

Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first paragraph, that is. And
some more stuff...

>> >> That's going to take some time and
>> >> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
>> >
>> > Rulg.
>>
>> ::shrugs::
>> That's life.
>
> Life. Don't talk to me about life.
>
> *amusement*

Want me to change any diodes, Marvin?
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
June 5, 2004 1:31:26 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncbub5a.gkr.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-06-01, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> > news:slrncbo5qd.sd.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> {Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/}
>
> >> >> >> > Just to check, is 'condensated' the right word here? Not
> > certain...
> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> > right meaning, but the right form?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Erm, I'm not sure what you mean...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Just... go over it again, carefully, making sure that it's what
you
> >> > meant.
> >> >> > Oh, and should that be 'in' or 'into'?
> >> >>
> >> >> 'into', most probably. Still, I'm not so sure why there could be a
> >> >> problem with 'condensated'...
> >> >
> >> > Probably because I don't fully remember how the word's supposed to be
> > used.
> >> >
> >> > condensate // n.
> >> > a substance produced by condensation.
> >> >
> >> > condensation // n.
> >> > 1 the act of condensing.
> >> > 2 any condensed material (esp. water on a cold surface).
> >> > 3 an abridgement.
> >> > 4 Chem. the combination of molecules with the elimination of water or
> > other
> >> > small molecules.
> >> > [Late Latin condensatio (as condense)]
> >>
> >> Maybe I should use 'condensed' instead...
> >
> > Maybe. *searches*
> >
> > condense // v.
> > 1 tr. make denser or more concentrated.
> > 2 tr. express in fewer words; make concise.
> > 3 tr. & intr. reduce or be reduced from a gas or vapour to a liquid (or
> > occasionally a solid).
> > condensable adj.
> > [French condenser or Latin condensare (as com-, densus 'thick')]
>
> And?

Erm, draw your own conclusion(s). Oh, and did you address the 'into'/'in'
question?

> {Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}

'to see hand before eyes'.

> >> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think.
Otherwise,
> >> > what
> >> >> > is
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think
about
> > it
> >> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would
refer
> > to
> >> > 'what
> >> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in
> > there.
> >> >>
> >> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
> >> >
> >> > How so?
> >>
> >> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
> >> (please, please, please)
> >
> > Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my brilliant
writing,
> > and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter. So you can
> > (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend to usually be.
>
> Erm... who did that to you?

Someone whom I view as more knowledgable than me on this subject.

> {Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}
>
> >> >> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white
> > void',
> >> > I
> >> >> >> > think.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be
> > completely
> >> >> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it -
> > more a
> >> >> >> direction than a fixed point.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
> >> >> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white
void',
> > for
> >> >> > example.
> >> >>
> >> >> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
> >> >
> >> > Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign
> > directions,
> >> > but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good
way
> > to do
> >> > it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*
> >>
> >> I'll think about it.
> >
> > Thank you.
>
> NAJISBU
>
> {The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.}
>
> >> >> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they
aren't
> >> > 'good'.
> >> >> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work.
'almost
> > as
> >> >> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was
> > just'.
> >> >> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as
> > actually
> >> >> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work
better.
> >> > But I
> >> >> > still suggest 'useful'.
> >> >>
> >> >> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
> >> >> I just don't like 'useful' here...
> >> >
> >> > Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
> >> >
> >> > 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as
> > good'--it
> >> > doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well
> > /at/,
> >> > or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so
almost
> > as
> >> > effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
> >> > something to say what it's for.
> >>
> >> Hmm....
> >
> > Hrm?
>
> Thinking...
>
> 'were almost as good an information source as actually seeing'? No, most
> probably not...

Maybe 'were almost as good a source of information as actually seeing'. It
has the desired effect, but it's clunkier.

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> {There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.}
>
> >> >> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you
wish.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> If I _whish_?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > No, /wish/.
> >> >>
> >> >> &*#$!
> >> >> If I _wish_?
> >> >
> >> > *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of,
at
> >> > least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from
A
> > to B'
> >> > suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of
> > the
> >> > village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase
> > for an
> >> > area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's
> > better.
> >> > Maybe, at least.
> >>
> >> Erm...
> >
> > I'm just imagining it, aren't I? *paranoid*
>
> Could be...

Skah.

> >> > And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain
> > which
> >> > should be used in which context.
> >>
> >> Damn.
> >
> > Sorry. *searches*
> >
> > toward prep. & adj.
> > prep. /, , / = towards.
> > adj. // archaic
> > 1 about to take place; in process.
> > 2 docile, apt.
> > 3 promising, auspicious
> >
> > towards /, , / prep.
> > 1 in the direction of (set out towards town).
> > 2 as regards; in relation to (his attitude towards death).
> > 3 as a contribution to; for (put this towards your expenses).
> > 4 near (towards the end of our journey).
> > [Old English toweard (adj.) 'future' (as to, -ward)]
>
> So 'towards'? (Help?!)

I think, yes. *nod nod*

> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/ought/should/
> s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}
>
> >> >> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
> >> >> > such-and-such.
> >> >> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
> >> > above*
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
> >> >> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should',
> > and
> >> >> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
> >> >>
> >> >> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant
was
> >> >> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me,
say
> >> >> it again <veg>'.
> >> >
> >> > Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
> >> > someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does
it,
> >> > someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not
talking
> >> > about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in
specific.
> > The
> >> > 'should' brings it to the present.
> >>
> >> And that puts us where exactly?
> >
> > ...Not sure what you mean. But in essense, 'ought' means the same as
> > 'should', and /because of that/ should be replaced by something else.
'some
> > might say', for example, might be good... hrm.
>
> I'm in trouble...

What? How?

(And on the 'She made it', how about 'She completed the spell' or 'She
finished the spell' or 'She finished casting/whispering/<whatever> the
spell'?)

....Or, if it's continuing from the previous paragraph, 'She had made it'.
('it' referring to the fog noted in the aforementioned previous paragraph)

> >> >> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
> >> > *looks
> >> >> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to
> > the
> >> >> > stake.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better:
'She
> >> > ran.',
> >> >> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
> >> > Basically,
> >> >> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of
> > what,
> >> >> > rather than the what itself.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...If that makes any sense.
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm, yes, it does,
> >> >
> >> > Ah, that's good.
> >>
> >> Indeed.
> >
> > Hoowah!
>
> NAJISBU
>
> >> >> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
> >> >> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
> >> >
> >> > Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized
it
> >> > toward the end of the post.
> >>
> >> If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...
> >
> > *heads in the direction of Google Groups* Ah. *tries to think of how
> > everything he's been talking about should be properly changed to
accurately
> > reflect the true state of events*
>
> Tell me what you find.

Apparently, indeed, she was responsible for the fog.

> >> >> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the
spell
> > that
> >> >> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes,
> >> >> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
> >> >> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she
> > was
> >> >> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for
her,
> > but
> >> > this
> >> >> > wasn't the time for pride.'
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
> >> >>
> >> >> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.
> >> >
> >> > *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did,
procedes
> >> > downward...*
> >>
> >> I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might want
to
> >> have a look at some details.
>
> JISBU?

I think that might have been your original JISBU, actually.

> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> >> >> >> >> It was almost impossible to navigate through the
> >> >> >> >> headless crowd, but with an incredible show of skill she
managed
> > to
> >> >> >> >> get through them without even slowing down.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > 'headless'? Or 'faceless'?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> I think headless - like "without leader".
> >> >> >
> >> >> > I see. Probably suffices either way.
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm, what?
> >> >
> >> > Basically, whichever way the reader takes it to mean, it doesn't
matter.
> >> > More or less, actually, when you/someone consider/s that she can see
> > their
> >> > faces.
> >>
> >> I should get more sleep...
> >
> > Oh. Maybe.
>
> Definitely.

*nods, yawns*

> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> >> >> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a
question
> >> > mark
> >> >> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use
> > 'causing'
> >> >> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a
> > better
> >> > term,
> >> >> > it might be preferable.
> >> >>
> >> >> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd
require
> > a
> >> >> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
> >> >
> >> > 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change
is
> > good,
> >> > as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of
> > 'letting
> >> > her to sink to the ground'.
> >>
> >> Oh, erm, yes.
>
> JISBU?
>
> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> {The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}
>
> >> >> >> > Oh, and: Introduction of interesting new character!
Interesting!
> >> > And
> >> >> >> > intrigue at the weight! Something strange? Perhaps member of
a
> >> >> > different
> >> >> >> > species, and a rebel? Or just a misjudging of weight?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> I'm afraid I have to disappoint you... it's the latter one.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *laughs* Ah, well. *enjoys*
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm not that good at intrigue, I'm afraid...
> >> >
> >> > *pat pat* You'll learn. *grins*
> >>
> >> I'm just not made for it...
> >
> > Bah.
>
> ...

Thingamajig.

> >> {How were they only
> >> getting out of here like that?
> >>
> >> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even
properly
> >> walk!/}
> >>
> >> >> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even
> > better)
> >> > 'How
> >> >> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include
the
> >> > 'like
> >> >> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Suggestion made...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this'
> > with
> >> >> > 'that', perhaps.
> >> >>
> >> >> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
> >> >
> >> > Erm, what?
> >>
> >> 'in this state'.
> >
> > 'in that state', then.
>
> That doesn't make much of a difference...

Oh. Skah. What would sound less stupid?

> >> >> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She
> > couldn't
> >> >> >> even properly walk like that!"
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed,
and
> >> > the
> >> >> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
> >> >>
> >> >> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
> >> >
> >> > 'think', not 'thik'...
> >> >
> >> > The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now',
it
> >> > outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then)
she
> >> > couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality,
etc.
> >>
> >> I liked 'like that' better...
> >
> > *considers for a moment or two, then nods* Probably it'll ('like that')
> > work, then.
>
> "She couldn't even properly walk like that!"?

That sounds good. *nods; glances worriedly towards the clock*

> {The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}
>
> >> >> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in
their
> > own
> >> >> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute
> > no-do,
> >> > I
> >> >> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
> >> >> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
> >> >>
> >> >> YIKES!
> >> >
> >> > *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that'
> > being
> >> > 'that she was doing well')
> >>
> >> I dunno, not really my style.
> >
> > Hrm... Maybe think of the 'of that' as a pointer, pointing to the
previous
> > subject?
>
> Not my style.

Oh. What is your style, then?

> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> {Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/}
>
> >> >> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else,
> > though
> >> >> > it's
> >> >> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
> >> >> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with
the
> >> > fires
> >> >> > around her, she'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> >> Can we discuss that out?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
> >> >>
> >> >> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously
isn't
> >> >> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
> >> >> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for
some
> >> >> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I
don't
> >> >> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the
climax,
> >> >> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
> >> >> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to
> > you?
> >> >
> >> > I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?
> >>
> >> Yes, something like that.
> >
> > *nods to himself* Ahh.
>
> And?

And what? *glances again at the clock*

> >> > And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer
that
> >> > 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question:
The
> >> > fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's
> > referring to
> >> > them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues
around'
> > as
> >> > opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking
about
> >> > /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and
I
> > did
> >> > indeed not want an apostrophe there.
> >>
> >> ::nods::
> >
> > Good! ...Wait, did you remove the comma? *frowns* Probably will still
> > work... but comma might be bubhosh.
>
> Huh? What comma? I can't remember removing any.

'even with all the fires around, she must'

> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> >> > Bee) ...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> How?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
> >> >
> >> > ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The
one
> > with
> >> > the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
> >> > /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.
> >> >
> >> > Got it yet?
> >>
> >> You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any) Monty
> > Python
> >> around here.
> >
> > Depending on what you mean by 'much', it's entirely possible that I've
seen
> > less than you.
>
> much=hardly any=perhaps by acident, once or twice

Ah. Good luck seeing more of it in the future.

> >> >> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
> >> >
> >> > Heh.
> >>
> >> What kind and refering to what?
> >
> > I can't tell without context.
>
> It's *your* 'Heh.'.

Yes, but what came after speaking about not really thinking that death was
the worst?

> {It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}
>
> >> >> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
> >> >> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in
there.
> > I
> >> >> >> hope that's not a problem.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
> >> > finality,
> >> >> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to
slip
> >> > into
> >> >> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case,
hypothermia-induced
> >> >> > unconciousness.
> >> >>
> >> >> 'The reader can work it out.'
> >> >
> >> > *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the
> > reader
> >> > is carried along without having to think, only experience, not
> > frequently
> >> > stop to work out what the book is talking about.
> >>
> >> Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
> >> design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."
> >
> > *snorts* Funny. But you see, the software should be such that the user
> > /could/ use it without needing documentation. The problem comes when
> > documentation is necessary.
>
> There are no intuitive programs.

One day...

> >> >> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but
you
> >> >> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to
> > plenty
> >> >> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm
> > not
> >> >> sure.
> >> >
> >> > Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as
> > serious',
> >> > if you wish.)
> >>
> >> Ah, yes.
> >
> > *smiles, while also attempting to remember what they were talking about
> > (plenty of whats in the text?)*
>
> "..."

*sighs* ...Running out of time...

> >> Want the PDF? <eg>
> >
> > Tempting, but no thank you. Perhaps when all the installments are
complete,
> > and it's one long story. *nod nod*
>
> ::shrugs::

NAJISBU

> >> >> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
> >> >> > her...unless a
> >> >> >> > third party finds her first.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> We'll see.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
> >> > corrects
> >> >> > this one*
> >> >>
> >> >> That could take some time.
> >> >
> >> > Fair enough.
> >>
> >> True...
> >
> > *nods* (Can I use his own perversity against him?)
>
> Whose? And which perversity?

Yours.

> >> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
> >> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
> >> >> everything below the next paragraph.
> >> >
> >> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
> >>
> >> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.
> >
> > Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)
>
> Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first paragraph, that is. And
> some more stuff...

Ooo. *interest*

> >> >> That's going to take some time and
> >> >> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
> >> >
> >> > Rulg.
> >>
> >> ::shrugs::
> >> That's life.
> >
> > Life. Don't talk to me about life.
> >
> > *amusement*
>
> Want me to change any diodes, Marvin?

Maybe one of the ones on the left side. *nod nod*

--
No time
Anonymous
June 9, 2004 10:24:29 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-06-04, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:

[Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/
s/in/into/]

{Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}

> 'to see hand before eyes'.

Without "the"?

>> >> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think.
> Otherwise,
>> >> > what
>> >> >> > is
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think
> about
>> > it
>> >> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would
> refer
>> > to
>> >> > 'what
>> >> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit in
>> > there.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
>> >> >
>> >> > How so?
>> >>
>> >> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
>> >> (please, please, please)
>> >
>> > Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my brilliant
> writing,
>> > and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter. So you can
>> > (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend to usually be.
>>
>> Erm... who did that to you?
>
> Someone whom I view as more knowledgable than me on this subject.

Oh. Sounds bad.

{Elias, however,
unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}

>> >> >> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the white
>> > void',
>> >> > I
>> >> >> >> > think.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be
>> > completely
>> >> >> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind it -
>> > more a
>> >> >> >> direction than a fixed point.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out more
>> >> >> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white
> void',
>> > for
>> >> >> > example.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
>> >> >
>> >> > Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign
>> > directions,
>> >> > but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good
> way
>> > to do
>> >> > it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*
>> >>
>> >> I'll think about it.
>> >
>> > Thank you.
>>
>> NAJISBU

{The muted
sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
was going on; it was just a question of training.}

>> >> >> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they
> aren't
>> >> > 'good'.
>> >> >> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work.
> 'almost
>> > as
>> >> >> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it was
>> > just'.
>> >> >> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as
>> > actually
>> >> >> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work
> better.
>> >> > But I
>> >> >> > still suggest 'useful'.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
>> >> >> I just don't like 'useful' here...
>> >> >
>> >> > Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
>> >> >
>> >> > 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as
>> > good'--it
>> >> > doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as well
>> > /at/,
>> >> > or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so
> almost
>> > as
>> >> > effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to be
>> >> > something to say what it's for.
>> >>
>> >> Hmm....
>> >
>> > Hrm?
>>
>> Thinking...
>>
>> 'were almost as good an information source as actually seeing'? No, most
>> probably not...
>
> Maybe 'were almost as good a source of information as actually seeing'. It
> has the desired effect, but it's clunkier.

Damn, there must be some... more lightweight way to say it...

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

{There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.}

>> >> >> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you
> wish.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> If I _whish_?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > No, /wish/.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> &*#$!
>> >> >> If I _wish_?
>> >> >
>> >> > *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort of,
> at
>> >> > least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving from
> A
>> > to B'
>> >> > suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border of
>> > the
>> >> > village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the phrase
>> > for an
>> >> > area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's
>> > better.
>> >> > Maybe, at least.
>> >>
>> >> Erm...
>> >
>> > I'm just imagining it, aren't I? *paranoid*
>>
>> Could be...
>
> Skah.

So?

>> >> > And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all certain
>> > which
>> >> > should be used in which context.
>> >>
>> >> Damn.
>> >
>> > Sorry. *searches*
>> >
>> > toward prep. & adj.
>> > prep. /, , / = towards.
>> > adj. // archaic
>> > 1 about to take place; in process.
>> > 2 docile, apt.
>> > 3 promising, auspicious
>> >
>> > towards /, , / prep.
>> > 1 in the direction of (set out towards town).
>> > 2 as regards; in relation to (his attitude towards death).
>> > 3 as a contribution to; for (put this towards your expenses).
>> > 4 near (towards the end of our journey).
>> > [Old English toweard (adj.) 'future' (as to, -ward)]
>>
>> So 'towards'? (Help?!)
>
> I think, yes. *nod nod*

All right...

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/ought/should/
s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}

>> >> >> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
>> >> >> > such-and-such.
>> >> >> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods slightly*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested correction
>> >> > above*
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it was'!?
>> >> >> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as 'should',
>> > and
>> >> >> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it means.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant
> was
>> >> >> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for me,
> say
>> >> >> it again <veg>'.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is that
>> >> > someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she does
> it,
>> >> > someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not
> talking
>> >> > about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in
> specific.
>> > The
>> >> > 'should' brings it to the present.
>> >>
>> >> And that puts us where exactly?
>> >
>> > ...Not sure what you mean. But in essense, 'ought' means the same as
>> > 'should', and /because of that/ should be replaced by something else.
> 'some
>> > might say', for example, might be good... hrm.
>>
>> I'm in trouble...
>
> What? How?

I don't know how to make it into some proper English sentence/paragraph.

> (And on the 'She made it', how about 'She completed the spell' or 'She
> finished the spell' or 'She finished casting/whispering/<whatever> the
> spell'?)

Nah...

> ...Or, if it's continuing from the previous paragraph, 'She had made it'.
> ('it' referring to the fog noted in the aforementioned previous paragraph)

Perhaps, I'm not sure. I have to reviewq that when I have time. Now eher
do I get time?

>> >> >> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer to?
>> >> > *looks
>> >> >> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it to
>> > the
>> >> >> > stake.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better:
> 'She
>> >> > ran.',
>> >> >> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
>> >> > Basically,
>> >> >> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning of
>> > what,
>> >> >> > rather than the what itself.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...If that makes any sense.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Erm, yes, it does,
>> >> >
>> >> > Ah, that's good.
>> >>
>> >> Indeed.
>> >
>> > Hoowah!
>>
>> NAJISBU

>> >> >> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
>> >> >> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
>> >> >
>> >> > Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only realized
> it
>> >> > toward the end of the post.
>> >>
>> >> If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...
>> >
>> > *heads in the direction of Google Groups* Ah. *tries to think of how
>> > everything he's been talking about should be properly changed to
> accurately
>> > reflect the true state of events*
>>
>> Tell me what you find.
>
> Apparently, indeed, she was responsible for the fog.

:-)

>> >> >> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the
> spell
>> > that
>> >> >> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and yes,
>> >> >> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the quick
>> >> >> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where she
>> > was
>> >> >> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for
> her,
>> > but
>> >> > this
>> >> >> > wasn't the time for pride.'
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand by.
>> >> >
>> >> > *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did,
> procedes
>> >> > downward...*
>> >>
>> >> I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might want
> to
>> >> have a look at some details.
>>
>> JISBU?
>
> I think that might have been your original JISBU, actually.

Ah, yes. NAJISBU.

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

>> >> >> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a
> question
>> >> > mark
>> >> >> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use
>> > 'causing'
>> >> >> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a
>> > better
>> >> > term,
>> >> >> > it might be preferable.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd
> require
>> > a
>> >> >> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
>> >> >
>> >> > 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the change
> is
>> > good,
>> >> > as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of
>> > 'letting
>> >> > her to sink to the ground'.
>> >>
>> >> Oh, erm, yes.
>>
>> JISBU?

Good question. More "finished" I'd say.

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

{The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}

{How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk like that!/}

>> >> >> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even
>> > better)
>> >> > 'How
>> >> >> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to include
> the
>> >> > 'like
>> >> >> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Suggestion made...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing 'this'
>> > with
>> >> >> > 'that', perhaps.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
>> >> >
>> >> > Erm, what?
>> >>
>> >> 'in this state'.
>> >
>> > 'in that state', then.
>>
>> That doesn't make much of a difference...
>
> Oh. Skah. What would sound less stupid?

Dunno.

>> >> >> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She
>> > couldn't
>> >> >> >> even properly walk like that!"
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be removed,
> and
>> >> > the
>> >> >> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
>> >> >
>> >> > 'think', not 'thik'...
>> >> >
>> >> > The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the 'Now',
> it
>> >> > outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now (then)
> she
>> >> > couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time, causality,
> etc.
>> >>
>> >> I liked 'like that' better...
>> >
>> > *considers for a moment or two, then nods* Probably it'll ('like that')
>> > work, then.
>>
>> "She couldn't even properly walk like that!"?
>
> That sounds good. *nods; glances worriedly towards the clock*

10 more mminutes.

{The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}

>> >> >> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in
> their
>> > own
>> >> >> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an absolute
>> > no-do,
>> >> > I
>> >> >> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
>> >> >> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
>> >> >>
>> >> >> YIKES!
>> >> >
>> >> > *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'? ('that'
>> > being
>> >> > 'that she was doing well')
>> >>
>> >> I dunno, not really my style.
>> >
>> > Hrm... Maybe think of the 'of that' as a pointer, pointing to the
> previous
>> > subject?
>>
>> Not my style.
>
> Oh. What is your style, then?

If I knew *that*...

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

{Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/}

>> >> >> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something else,
>> > though
>> >> >> > it's
>> >> >> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires around
>> >> >> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even with
> the
>> >> > fires
>> >> >> > around her, she'.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> Can we discuss that out?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously
> isn't
>> >> >> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can get a
>> >> >> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for
> some
>> >> >> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I
> don't
>> >> >> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the
> climax,
>> >> >> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
>> >> >> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense to
>> > you?
>> >> >
>> >> > I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?
>> >>
>> >> Yes, something like that.
>> >
>> > *nods to himself* Ahh.
>>
>> And?
>
> And what? *glances again at the clock*

And what does that mean correction-wise?

>> >> > And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer
> that
>> >> > 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question:
> The
>> >> > fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's
>> > referring to
>> >> > them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues
> around'
>> > as
>> >> > opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking
> about
>> >> > /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example, and
> I
>> > did
>> >> > indeed not want an apostrophe there.
>> >>
>> >> ::nods::
>> >
>> > Good! ...Wait, did you remove the comma? *frowns* Probably will still
>> > work... but comma might be bubhosh.
>>
>> Huh? What comma? I can't remember removing any.
>
> 'even with all the fires around, she must'

When/where did I _remove_ that?

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> >> >> > Bee) ...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> How?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The
> one
>> > with
>> >> > the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase 'With a
>> >> > /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording used.
>> >> >
>> >> > Got it yet?
>> >>
>> >> You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any) Monty
>> > Python
>> >> around here.
>> >
>> > Depending on what you mean by 'much', it's entirely possible that I've
> seen
>> > less than you.
>>
>> much=hardly any=perhaps by acident, once or twice
>
> Ah. Good luck seeing more of it in the future.

Around here? Be serious.

>> >> >> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
>> >> >
>> >> > Heh.
>> >>
>> >> What kind and refering to what?
>> >
>> > I can't tell without context.
>>
>> It's *your* 'Heh.'.
>
> Yes, but what came after speaking about not really thinking that death was
> the worst?

::shrugs::
I have no clue what you mean.

{It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}

>> >> >> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
>> >> >> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in
> there.
>> > I
>> >> >> >> hope that's not a problem.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air of
>> >> > finality,
>> >> >> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to
> slip
>> >> > into
>> >> >> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case,
> hypothermia-induced
>> >> >> > unconciousness.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> 'The reader can work it out.'
>> >> >
>> >> > *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which the
>> > reader
>> >> > is carried along without having to think, only experience, not
>> > frequently
>> >> > stop to work out what the book is talking about.
>> >>
>> >> Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
>> >> design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."
>> >
>> > *snorts* Funny. But you see, the software should be such that the user
>> > /could/ use it without needing documentation. The problem comes when
>> > documentation is necessary.
>>
>> There are no intuitive programs.
>
> One day...

Dream on.

>> >> >> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style, but
> you
>> >> >> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to
>> > plenty
>> >> >> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again... I'm
>> > not
>> >> >> sure.
>> >> >
>> >> > Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as
>> > serious',
>> >> > if you wish.)
>> >>
>> >> Ah, yes.
>> >
>> > *smiles, while also attempting to remember what they were talking about
>> > (plenty of whats in the text?)*
>>
>> "..."
>
> *sighs* ...Running out of time...

Me too.

>> >> Want the PDF? <eg>
>> >
>> > Tempting, but no thank you. Perhaps when all the installments are
> complete,
>> > and it's one long story. *nod nod*
>>
>> ::shrugs::
>
> NAJISBU

Really?

>> >> >> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known to
>> >> >> > her...unless a
>> >> >> >> > third party finds her first.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> We'll see.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as he
>> >> > corrects
>> >> >> > this one*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> That could take some time.
>> >> >
>> >> > Fair enough.
>> >>
>> >> True...
>> >
>> > *nods* (Can I use his own perversity against him?)
>>
>> Whose? And which perversity?
>
> Yours.

WHAT?!

>> >> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
>> >> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
>> >> >> everything below the next paragraph.
>> >> >
>> >> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
>> >>
>> >> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.
>> >
>> > Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)
>>
>> Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first paragraph, that is. And
>> some more stuff...
>
> Ooo. *interest*

Are you sure?

>> >> >> That's going to take some time and
>> >> >> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
>> >> >
>> >> > Rulg.
>> >>
>> >> ::shrugs::
>> >> That's life.
>> >
>> > Life. Don't talk to me about life.
>> >
>> > *amusement*
>>
>> Want me to change any diodes, Marvin?
>
> Maybe one of the ones on the left side. *nod nod*

Ah, yes, that'd be E203-5C?

> --
> No time

I get that *all* the time.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
June 9, 2004 9:04:22 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrnccdb8j.55f.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-06-04, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>
> [Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/
> s/in/into/]
>
> {Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see the hand before eyes/}
>
> > 'to see hand before eyes'.
>
> Without "the"?

Correct.

> >> >> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I think.
> > Otherwise,
> >> >> > what
> >> >> >> > is
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone stops to think
> > about
> >> > it
> >> >> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think 'it' would
> > refer
> >> > to
> >> >> > 'what
> >> >> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that didn't fit
in
> >> > there.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > How so?
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know what I mean.
> >> >> (please, please, please)
> >> >
> >> > Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my brilliant
> > writing,
> >> > and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter. So you can
> >> > (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend to usually
be.
> >>
> >> Erm... who did that to you?
> >
> > Someone whom I view as more knowledgable than me on this subject.
>
> Oh. Sounds bad.

Sort of. Remember, she alternated between that and praising me.

> {Elias, however,
> unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white void.}
>
> >> >> >> >> > One does not listen into something... 'listened to the
white
> >> > void',
> >> >> > I
> >> >> >> >> > think.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> No, no. The void doesn't make any sounds, so that would be
> >> > completely
> >> >> >> >> wrong, IHNSHO. It's more like... listening to what's behind
it -
> >> > more a
> >> >> >> >> direction than a fixed point.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Fair enough. The best suggestion I have is to spell it out
more
> >> >> >> > explicitally--'listening for noises emanating from the white
> > void',
> >> > for
> >> >> >> > example.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> That just doesn't have the same ring to it... do I *have* to?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Listening doesn't inherently have a direction... you can assign
> >> > directions,
> >> >> > but they aren't there by default. If you think of an equally good
> > way
> >> > to do
> >> >> > it, if it makes sense to me I'll support it. *nod nod*
> >> >>
> >> >> I'll think about it.
> >> >
> >> > Thank you.
> >>
> >> NAJISBU
>
> {The muted
> sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually seeing what
> was going on; it was just a question of training.}
>
> >> >> >> >> > Hrm... Replace 'good' with 'useful'. *nods*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Not sure... it doesn't have the right ring to it.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > The sounds reaching his ears are of use. In themselves, they
> > aren't
> >> >> > 'good'.
> >> >> >> > Good for what? It doesn't say. If it /did/, it would work.
> > 'almost
> >> > as
> >> >> >> > good as actually seeing for determining what was going on; it
was
> >> > just'.
> >> >> >> > But that's more clunky. Oh, and it could be 'almost as good as
> >> > actually
> >> >> >> > being able to see for determining', which would make it work
> > better.
> >> >> > But I
> >> >> >> > still suggest 'useful'.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> were almost as good -> worked almost as well ?
> >> >> >> I just don't like 'useful' here...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Pity... it at least appears to fit well.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > 'worked almost as well' has the same problem as 'were almost as
> >> > good'--it
> >> >> > doesn't address the /functionality/. Namely, what they work as
well
> >> > /at/,
> >> >> > or what they're almost as good /at/. Whatever it is, they do so
> > almost
> >> > as
> >> >> > effectively as actually seeing, but what is 'it'? There needs to
be
> >> >> > something to say what it's for.
> >> >>
> >> >> Hmm....
> >> >
> >> > Hrm?
> >>
> >> Thinking...
> >>
> >> 'were almost as good an information source as actually seeing'? No,
most
> >> probably not...
> >
> > Maybe 'were almost as good a source of information as actually seeing'.
It
> > has the desired effect, but it's clunkier.
>
> Damn, there must be some... more lightweight way to say it...

My suggestion was the best I had.

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> {There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.}
>
> >> >> >> >> > Hmm... {'moving inwards from' and 'village toward'} if you
> > wish.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> If I _whish_?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > No, /wish/.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> &*#$!
> >> >> >> If I _wish_?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *nods* I don't think a change is necessarily necessary... sort
of,
> > at
> >> >> > least... but it might--just might--help to change it. 'moving
from
> > A
> >> > to B'
> >> >> > suggests a straight line between two points. However, 'the border
of
> >> > the
> >> >> > village' is a circle. The addition of the 'inward' adapts the
phrase
> >> > for an
> >> >> > area surrounded by a line. It still may not be perfect, but it's
> >> > better.
> >> >> > Maybe, at least.
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm...
> >> >
> >> > I'm just imagining it, aren't I? *paranoid*
> >>
> >> Could be...
> >
> > Skah.
>
> So?

Thingamajig. It seems good currently. *nods*

> >> >> > And on the subject of 'toward' and 'towards', I'm not at all
certain
> >> > which
> >> >> > should be used in which context.
> >> >>
> >> >> Damn.
> >> >
> >> > Sorry. *searches*
> >> >
> >> > toward prep. & adj.
> >> > prep. /, , / = towards.
> >> > adj. // archaic
> >> > 1 about to take place; in process.
> >> > 2 docile, apt.
> >> > 3 promising, auspicious
> >> >
> >> > towards /, , / prep.
> >> > 1 in the direction of (set out towards town).
> >> > 2 as regards; in relation to (his attitude towards death).
> >> > 3 as a contribution to; for (put this towards your expenses).
> >> > 4 near (towards the end of our journey).
> >> > [Old English toweard (adj.) 'future' (as to, -ward)]
> >>
> >> So 'towards'? (Help?!)
> >
> > I think, yes. *nod nod*
>
> All right...

NAJISBU

> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/ought/should/
> s/it wasn't the time to priding herself/now wasn't the time for pride/}
>
> >> >> >> >> > Firstly, not 'ought'--that's saying that someone should say
> >> >> >> > such-and-such.
> >> >> >> >> > 'some might say it should have been too hard'. *nods
slightly*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Erm, yes. "ought"->"should"?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *frowns, not understanding, then looks at the suggested
correction
> >> >> > above*
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...You would replace it with 'now someone should to say it
was'!?
> >> >> >> > *twitches* Augh... 'ought to' is basically the same as
'should',
> >> > and
> >> >> >> > 'should' is what /doesn't/ work there, because of what it
means.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> OK... but your suggestion above doesn't work either. What I meant
> > was
> >> >> >> something along the lines of 'come on, say that's too hard for
me,
> > say
> >> >> >> it again <veg>'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Oh. In the 'someone ought to say', what it essentially means is
that
> >> >> > someone should say <whatever> /at that time/. That is, as she
does
> > it,
> >> >> > someone (next to her, for example) should say it. But it's not
> > talking
> >> >> > about /then/, it's talking about 'saying' in general. Not in
> > specific.
> >> > The
> >> >> > 'should' brings it to the present.
> >> >>
> >> >> And that puts us where exactly?
> >> >
> >> > ...Not sure what you mean. But in essense, 'ought' means the same as
> >> > 'should', and /because of that/ should be replaced by something else.
> > 'some
> >> > might say', for example, might be good... hrm.
> >>
> >> I'm in trouble...
> >
> > What? How?
>
> I don't know how to make it into some proper English sentence/paragraph.

Hrm. Didn't I already give a suggestion there?

> > (And on the 'She made it', how about 'She completed the spell' or 'She
> > finished the spell' or 'She finished casting/whispering/<whatever> the
> > spell'?)
>
> Nah...

Hrm. Could you clarify exactly what you meant it to mean?

> > ...Or, if it's continuing from the previous paragraph, 'She had made
it'.
> > ('it' referring to the fog noted in the aforementioned previous
paragraph)
>
> Perhaps, I'm not sure. I have to reviewq that when I have time. Now eher
> do I get time?

Ask Death. I thikn he got some from the Death of their universe.

> >> >> >> >> > *after reading slightly* ...What does 'She made it.' refer
to?
> >> >> > *looks
> >> >> >> >> > confused* At first, I thought it meant that she had made it
to
> >> > the
> >> >> >> > stake.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> What about "She did it."? Does that make more sense to you?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Hmm. A bit, but a more descriptive sentence might be better:
> > 'She
> >> >> > ran.',
> >> >> >> > for example, or 'She darted forward.' or something like that...
> >> >> > Basically,
> >> >> >> > did what? What does 'what' mean? Then, just say the meaning
of
> >> > what,
> >> >> >> > rather than the what itself.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...If that makes any sense.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Erm, yes, it does,
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Ah, that's good.
> >> >>
> >> >> Indeed.
> >> >
> >> > Hoowah!
> >>
> >> NAJISBU
>
> >> >> >> although I have the strong feeling you are missing my
> >> >> >> point entirely. Probably my fault, though.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Is it to do with her creating the fog? If so, then I only
realized
> > it
> >> >> > toward the end of the post.
> >> >>
> >> >> If you take a close look at the end of the last installment...
> >> >
> >> > *heads in the direction of Google Groups* Ah. *tries to think of
how
> >> > everything he's been talking about should be properly changed to
> > accurately
> >> > reflect the true state of events*
> >>
> >> Tell me what you find.
> >
> > Apparently, indeed, she was responsible for the fog.
>
> :-)

AIEEE! GET IT AWAY FROM ME! GET IT AWA-

*cowers from the smiley*

> >> >> >> > *after reading* ...Actually, if by 'it' it means to cast the
> > spell
> >> > that
> >> >> >> > allowed her to see, then things are much clearer now.... and
yes,
> >> >> >> > Anyway, maybe something along the lines of 'She muttered the
quick
> >> >> >> > succession of words under her breath. Now she could see where
she
> >> > was
> >> >> >> > going; perhaps some might say that it was too hard a spell for
> > her,
> >> > but
> >> >> > this
> >> >> >> > wasn't the time for pride.'
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *looks over what he had written, and nods slightly to himself*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Hm, we are getting closer, but we are not quite there... stand
by.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *awaits clarification as to what exactly it was that she did,
> > procedes
> >> >> > downward...*
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm just... unsure of the wording. You got it right, but I might
want
> > to
> >> >> have a look at some details.
> >>
> >> JISBU?
> >
> > I think that might have been your original JISBU, actually.
>
> Ah, yes. NAJISBU.

Ahh. (NAJISBU)

> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> >> >> >> >> > 'what had they done to her?'
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Somehow I like "only", eh?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *nods...* Strange. Two things: Firstly, I still suggest a
> > question
> >> >> > mark
> >> >> >> > to end the sentence. Secondly, are you sure you want to use
> >> > 'causing'
> >> >> >> > before? It only causes it indirectly... if you can think of a
> >> > better
> >> >> > term,
> >> >> >> > it might be preferable.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Look above. 'making' is probably an option as well, but that'd
> > require
> >> > a
> >> >> >> complete restructering of the sentence, I think.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > 'making' has the same problem as 'causing'--I think that the
change
> > is
> >> > good,
> >> >> > as long as you make it 'letting her sink to the ground' instead of
> >> > 'letting
> >> >> > her to sink to the ground'.
> >> >>
> >> >> Oh, erm, yes.
> >>
> >> JISBU?
>
> Good question. More "finished" I'd say.

Ahh.

> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> {The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

'so she put the girl's arm', not 'do she put the girls arm'.

> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/}
>
> {How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk like that!/}
>
> >> >> >> >> > 'How were they going to get out of here?', or (perhaps even
> >> > better)
> >> >> > 'How
> >> >> >> >> > were they going to get to safety?'. ...No idea how to
include
> > the
> >> >> > 'like
> >> >> >> >> > that' or the equivalent in there. Suggestions welcome.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Suggestion made...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *thinks* Maybe 'out of here in this state?'... replacing
'this'
> >> > with
> >> >> >> > 'that', perhaps.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> That sounds... stupid, IMHO...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Erm, what?
> >> >>
> >> >> 'in this state'.
> >> >
> >> > 'in that state', then.
> >>
> >> That doesn't make much of a difference...
> >
> > Oh. Skah. What would sound less stupid?
>
> Dunno.

Skah.

> >> >> >> >> Then again... "How were they going to make it to safety? She
> >> > couldn't
> >> >> >> >> even properly walk like that!"
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Hmm. *nods to himself* Though the 'like that' could be
removed,
> > and
> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> > beginning of that sentence replaced by 'Now, she couldn't'
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> I don't thik I like the 'Now'. (look above) Or 'walk properly'?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > 'think', not 'thik'...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > The alteration seems good, but to address the question of the
'Now',
> > it
> >> >> > outlines the fact that once (before,) she could walk, but now
(then)
> > she
> >> >> > couldn't. A simple clarification of the nature of time,
causality,
> > etc.
> >> >>
> >> >> I liked 'like that' better...
> >> >
> >> > *considers for a moment or two, then nods* Probably it'll ('like
that')
> >> > work, then.
> >>
> >> "She couldn't even properly walk like that!"?
> >
> > That sounds good. *nods; glances worriedly towards the clock*
>
> 10 more mminutes.

Mminutes? *happily, has more time now*

> {The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough/}
>
> >> >> >> >> > What do you mean by 'talked their own language'? 'were in
> > their
> >> > own
> >> >> >> >> > language, and thus indecipherable' might be better.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> You may hit me more mixing up two languages. That's an
absolute
> >> > no-do,
> >> >> > I
> >> >> >> >> know. Let's have a look at it...
> >> >> >> >> "The yells and curses of the villagers were prove enough."
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Ahh, that's good, just replace 'prove' with 'proof'...
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> YIKES!
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *pat pat* Oh, and what about 'were proof enough of that'?
('that'
> >> > being
> >> >> > 'that she was doing well')
> >> >>
> >> >> I dunno, not really my style.
> >> >
> >> > Hrm... Maybe think of the 'of that' as a pointer, pointing to the
> > previous
> >> > subject?
> >>
> >> Not my style.
> >
> > Oh. What is your style, then?
>
> If I knew *that*...

Then what?

> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> {Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/}
>
> >> >> >> >> > Here, I'd reccomend replacing 'seriously' with something
else,
> >> > though
> >> >> >> > it's
> >> >> >> >> > quite good... 'dangerously', I'd say. Maybe, at least.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Oh, and I'd suggest a minor change to 'Even with the fires
around
> >> >> >> > she'--either 'Even with all the fires around, she' or 'Even
with
> > the
> >> >> > fires
> >> >> >> > around her, she'.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> Can we discuss that out?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > No 'out'. And yes, we can.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Look, ... what did I want to say again? Ah, yes... dangerously
> > isn't
> >> >> >> quite what I wanted to say. Sure it's really cold, and you can
get a
> >> >> >> serious cold, but it's still warm enough to keep you alive - for
> > some
> >> >> >> time at least. The really dangerous/deadly cold comes later and I
> > don't
> >> >> >> want to have it here already. I could say that it's break the
> > climax,
> >> >> >> but basicly it's just a question of what I feel is right - and
> >> >> >> dangerously IMHO doesn't quite fit in here. Does that make sense
to
> >> > you?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > I think so--basically, more on the lines of 'extremely'?
> >> >>
> >> >> Yes, something like that.
> >> >
> >> > *nods to himself* Ahh.
> >>
> >> And?
> >
> > And what? *glances again at the clock*
>
> And what does that mean correction-wise?

Well, it should probably be replaced with 'extremely', or a synonym.
'seriously' is ambiguous in this context.

> >> >> > And on the subject of the fires--it's better, but I'd still prefer
> > that
> >> >> > 'all' to be there... 'with the fires around' raises the question:
> > The
> >> >> > fires around what? Whereas the 'all' removes them a step--It's
> >> > referring to
> >> >> > them more as a group, more off-hand. 'Ah, yes, all the plagues
> > around'
> >> > as
> >> >> > opposed to 'Ah, yes, the plagues around' which is directly talking
> > about
> >> >> > /specific/ plagues. And, yes, that wasn't that good an example,
and
> > I
> >> > did
> >> >> > indeed not want an apostrophe there.
> >> >>
> >> >> ::nods::
> >> >
> >> > Good! ...Wait, did you remove the comma? *frowns* Probably will
still
> >> > work... but comma might be bubhosh.
> >>
> >> Huh? What comma? I can't remember removing any.
> >
> > 'even with all the fires around, she must'
>
> When/where did I _remove_ that?

Don't ask me.

> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> >> >> > Bee) ...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > ...Eh, could have been worse. *shrugs*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> How?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > I draw the line at actually spelling it out.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> I'm a bit slow at the uptake, it seems... gimme hint, please.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...All right. All right. Remember that Monty Python sketch? The
> > one
> >> > with
> >> >> > the person reading from the book, and near the end the phrase
'With a
> >> >> > /melon/!?'? Think of the first example. Think of the wording
used.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Got it yet?
> >> >>
> >> >> You know, I never got the chance to watch much (read: hardly any)
Monty
> >> > Python
> >> >> around here.
> >> >
> >> > Depending on what you mean by 'much', it's entirely possible that
I've
> > seen
> >> > less than you.
> >>
> >> much=hardly any=perhaps by acident, once or twice
> >
> > Ah. Good luck seeing more of it in the future.
>
> Around here? Be serious.

Bah. Why be serious? *blinkity*

> >> >> >> (And I always thought death was worst. [1])
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Heh.
> >> >>
> >> >> What kind and refering to what?
> >> >
> >> > I can't tell without context.
> >>
> >> It's *your* 'Heh.'.
> >
> > Yes, but what came after speaking about not really thinking that death
was
> > the worst?
>
> ::shrugs::
> I have no clue what you mean.

Oh. I think I got confused somewhere... an amused 'Heh.', probably.

> {It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/}
>
> >> >> >> >> And I think I'll keep the full stop. The sentence is a
> >> >> >> >> elipsis anyway, but I don't like putting the actual "..." in
> > there.
> >> > I
> >> >> >> >> hope that's not a problem.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Hrm... probably not much of one. The full stop creates an air
of
> >> >> > finality,
> >> >> >> > and that's not really what we want--we want it to trail off, to
> > slip
> >> >> > into
> >> >> >> > the mists of dreamless sleep. Or, in this case,
> > hypothermia-induced
> >> >> >> > unconciousness.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> 'The reader can work it out.'
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *sighs* As you wish, though in general I espouse books in which
the
> >> > reader
> >> >> > is carried along without having to think, only experience, not
> >> > frequently
> >> >> > stop to work out what the book is talking about.
> >> >>
> >> >> Sorry, got carried away. In fact I was quoting the rules of software
> >> >> design: "Documentation: None needed, the user can work it out."
> >> >
> >> > *snorts* Funny. But you see, the software should be such that the
user
> >> > /could/ use it without needing documentation. The problem comes when
> >> > documentation is necessary.
> >>
> >> There are no intuitive programs.
> >
> > One day...
>
> Dream on.

Oh, I will.

> >> >> >> I'm somewhat trying to avoid it, for reasons of general style,
but
> > you
> >> >> >> are probably right. I just have to make sure that doesn't lead to
> >> > plenty
> >> >> >> of those in the text - a risk to be taken serious. Then again...
I'm
> >> > not
> >> >> >> sure.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hmm. Thingamajig. (Oh, and 'seriously', not 'serious'. Or 'as
> >> > serious',
> >> >> > if you wish.)
> >> >>
> >> >> Ah, yes.
> >> >
> >> > *smiles, while also attempting to remember what they were talking
about
> >> > (plenty of whats in the text?)*
> >>
> >> "..."
> >
> > *sighs* ...Running out of time...
>
> Me too.

*sympathy*

> >> >> Want the PDF? <eg>
> >> >
> >> > Tempting, but no thank you. Perhaps when all the installments are
> > complete,
> >> > and it's one long story. *nod nod*
> >>
> >> ::shrugs::
> >
> > NAJISBU
>
> Really?

I thought so. Was it?

> >> >> >> >> > And presumably, here's where Elias will make himself known
to
> >> >> >> > her...unless a
> >> >> >> >> > third party finds her first.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> We'll see.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *nods* *eagerly looks forward to the next installment, even as
he
> >> >> > corrects
> >> >> >> > this one*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> That could take some time.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Fair enough.
> >> >>
> >> >> True...
> >> >
> >> > *nods* (Can I use his own perversity against him?)
> >>
> >> Whose? And which perversity?
> >
> > Yours.
>
> WHAT?!

*backs away slowly* Nice emmel...

> >> >> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
> >> >> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to absolutely rewrite
> >> >> >> everything below the next paragraph.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
> >> >>
> >> >> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.
> >> >
> >> > Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)
> >>
> >> Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first paragraph, that is. And
> >> some more stuff...
> >
> > Ooo. *interest*
>
> Are you sure?

Sort of. Defnitely when the installment's finished. *nod nod*

> >> >> >> That's going to take some time and
> >> >> >> time is a real problem... but I'll do my best.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Rulg.
> >> >>
> >> >> ::shrugs::
> >> >> That's life.
> >> >
> >> > Life. Don't talk to me about life.
> >> >
> >> > *amusement*
> >>
> >> Want me to change any diodes, Marvin?
> >
> > Maybe one of the ones on the left side. *nod nod*
>
> Ah, yes, that'd be E203-5C?

Perhaps.

> > --
> > No time
>
> I get that *all* the time.

Thingamaijg. Good luck.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
June 22, 2004 4:52:02 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-06-21, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncddseq.4ij.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x3.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...

[Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/
s/in/into/]

[Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening', I
>> > think.
>> >> >> >> >> > Otherwise,
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > what
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > is
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone
> stops
>> > to
>> >> >> > think
>> >> >> >> >> > about
>> >> >> >> >> >> > it
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't think
>> > 'it'
>> >> >> > would
>> >> >> >> >> > refer
>> >> >> >> >> >> > to
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'what
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something that
>> >> > didn't
>> >> >> > fit
>> >> >> >> > in
>> >> >> >> >> >> > there.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so... wrong?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > How so?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know
> what
>> > I
>> >> >> > mean.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> (please, please, please)
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my
>> >> > brilliant
>> >> >> >> >> > writing,
>> >> >> >> >> >> > and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and clutter.
> So
>> >> > you
>> >> >> > can
>> >> >> >> >> >> > (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I tend
> to
>> >> > usually
>> >> >> >> > be.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Erm... who did that to you?
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Someone whom I view as more knowledgable than me on this
>> > subject.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Oh. Sounds bad.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Sort of. Remember, she alternated between that and praising
> me.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Sadistic.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Maybe.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> So... can I keep the aboveish?
>> >> >
>> >> > Well... I still think that it should say before everybody realized
>> > /what/.
>> >>
>> >> Damn, I feared you'd say that...
>> >
>> > Sorry.
>>
>> "Before anybody had realized it"?
>
> That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.

Damn.

{Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.

s/*/Elias, however, the phenomenom didn't shake at all, but closed his
eyes, concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void.
There were other ways to see than just with the eyes; a mere question
of training./}

>> >> What do you think?
>> >
>> > ...I'm afraid that you're right about yours not sounding any better.
>>
>> Damn. Wait, what did that refer to anyway?
>
> The 'than just with the eyes' bit.

Oh, yes...

>> >> > Definitely better! Perhaps 'other ways to see besides just eyes; a
> mere
>> >> > question of training.'?
>> >>
>> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to see besides just
> yes"?
>> >
>> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
>>
>> You *know* what I mean.
>
> Sorry.
>
> besides // prep. & adv.
> prep. in addition to; apart from.
> adv. also; as well; moreover.
> Usage

So...

>> >> Then again mine probably doesn't sound any
>> >> better. Still, I't no going to put *that* in.
>> >
>> > (Damn.) Maybe I't no going to, but what about you?
>>
>> grrrrrrr.
>
> Er, right. (Mental note: Must cut back on constructive criticism.)

No, just on unconstructive critism ;-)

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

[There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.]

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/*/She made it, she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}

> 'a spell for her'.

::nods::

>> >> >> Although I might want to check with some older installment.
>> >> >
>> >> > Hrm. I'd still say that the 'She made it.' should be changed... And
>> > that's
>> >> > 'her, was it?', if she's mentally mocking those who said such a
> thing.
>> >>
>> >> I don't think I'm going to change that first sentence.
>> >
>> > Skah. It just... it conjures up a mental image of someone finishing a
> race
>> > and saying 'I made it!'. The first, strong impression, is that Laiva
> has
>> > hurdled some obstacle, run some distance, completed some feat of
> travelling.
>>
>> Well, that's exactly what I associate it with. Not with running, but the
>> general situation... it's *meant* like that.
>
> Oh. Made it to the end of the spell, then...?

Finally got it right, actually.

> In that case, I'd suggest better fleshing out the 'magic system' in the
> earlier installations. This way, the sentence leaves the reader feeling
> disoriented, as he doesn't know what the author does about how it works.

Erm, what?

> ...Please tell me I haven't just forgotten another important segment of one
> of the earlier installments.

No, I don't think so. It's just me changing POVs faster than anyone can
follow, leaving much for the reader to be filled in - too much
sometimes.

>> >> >> >> >> > (And on the 'She made it', how about 'She completed the
> spell'
>> > or
>> >> >> > 'She
>> >> >> >> >> > finished the spell' or 'She finished
>> > casting/whispering/<whatever>
>> >> >> > the
>> >> >> >> >> > spell'?)
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Nah...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Hrm. Could you clarify exactly what you meant it to mean?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> It's not the meaning... it's... I don't really know.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Ah. You want it to be short, sharp, and to the point? To have an
>> >> > effect
>> >> >> > precisely because of its few words?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Direct hit.
>> >> >
>> >> > How about 'She finished. She could still see where she was going'?
>> > Since
>> >> > she started earlier... Maybe 'She finished it.'. And maybe my
>> > suggestion
>> >> > on the insertion of the 'still' was flawed.
>> >>
>> >> No.
>> >
>> > Damn. If nothing else... just go with 'She did it.'.
>>
>> <bg>
>
> Thingamajig.

NAJISBU

>> >> >> >> >> > ...Or, if it's continuing from the previous paragraph, 'She
> had
>> >> > made
>> >> >> >> > it'.
>> >> >> >> >> > ('it' referring to the fog noted in the aforementioned
> previous
>> >> >> >> > paragraph)
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Perhaps, I'm not sure. I have to reviewq that when I have
> time.
>> > Now
>> >> >> > eher
>> >> >> >> >> do I get time?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Ask Death. I think he got some from the Death of their
> universe.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> "their"?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > You could say that, yes. *grins*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Erm, I have _no_ clue what you mean with 'their'...
>> >> >
>> >> > The universe of those two Deaths.
>> >>
>> >> I so don't know what you are talking about.
>> >
>> > You need to read more Terry Pratchett.
>>
>> Which one exactly? Last one I read was 'Nightwatch', but I'm not sure
>> where we are ATM. And I can't remember anything about two Deaths...
>> except of the thing when Death had been more or fired, but that doesn't
>> make any sense in this context.
>
> I'm referring to Reaper Man. Remember, when he petitioned it/him, and
> returned laden with Time...?

I feel stupid, I can't remember that...

>> >> >> Yeah, yeah. As that'd stop me using whatever name/title I just feel
>> >> >> like.
>> >> >
>> >> > *pat pat*
>> >> >
>> >> > "It /is/ quite possible for us to speak individually, but that
> created
>> >> > problems the last time we did so."
>> >> >
>> >> > *mutturz zumtingi uhbowd undurztaytmendz* "Ghaash-lizziez..."
>> >>
>> >> ::shrugs::
>> >> I just call you whetever I want. Or are there any complains?
>> >> ::gets out plasma gun::
>> >> Are there?
>> >
>> > I'd melt the gun in your hands except that we've agreed to be less
>> > invincible.
>>
>> I never said I was invicable. Just very persisitent(?, can't remember
>> the right wordi right now...).
>
> Erm, we weren't talking about you. (Maybe you're thinking of stubborn?)

More like it, yes.

>> > *Markus walks up behind you and knocks you on the head*
>>
>> You know, that won't even get me a headache. And get down from that
>> ladder.
>
> Who said anything about a ladder? *looks innocent*

Markus is a _norn_...

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

[The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]

[How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk like that!/]

[The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

>> >> > Ooo. An idea: What about this? 'The icy air burned the skin, the
> wind
>> >> > making them shiver.' And the icy air burns the skin of others, besid
> es
>> >> > Laiva and the other girl, correct? Because if it was just them, and
> the
>> >> > others were protected somehow (even with thicker clothing that
> shrouded
>> > all
>> >> > their skin, for example), then 'Their skin was burned by the icy air,
>> > and
>> >> > the wind made them shiver.' would definitely suffice... all depends
> on
>> > the
>> >> > meaning, though.
>> >>
>> >> There are no others... no now, not here.
>> >
>> > Ahh. Then while 'burned the skin' still works, it can be cast aside in
>> > favour of a more specific approach.
>>
>> ::shrugs:: I think I like it the way it is. (think: I'm, the
>> reader/observer am here as well and it *is* cold, freezing, burning my
>> skin - why didn't I get some decent clothes for reading. brr...)
>
> Ahh. *nods* Makes sense.

Ah, good.

[Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/
s/seriously/extremely/]

>> >> > Erm, strange.
>> >>
>> >> You tell me.
>> >
>> > Didn't I just do that? *paranoid* AIEEE! EVYL... things... MEDDLING
>> > WITH THE PROPER FLOW OF TIME AND SPACE! (Space is time and vice versa,
> time
>> > flows, therefore space flows... right?)
>>
>> Simple answer: No. And in case you wonder - there is no difficult one.
>
> *ahem* AIEEE!

::shrugs:: You were just talking to the wrong person... I'm a bit biased
when it comes to physics.

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> >> >> > Bah. Why be serious? *blinkity*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> It's easier to manage...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > That probably depends on who you are.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...And just noticed more humour. 'hardly any=perhaps by
> ac[c]ident,
>> >> > once or
>> >> >> > twice', yes... but 'much=hardly any'? *amusement*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> You forget the context. It's actually 'never much=hardly any'.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh. Not referring to the original: Referring to a few lines above,
>> > when
>> >> > you used the equals signs. *checks again* Hrm. I see the
> difficulty.
>> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >>
>> >> Never forget about the context. It's all context. That and money. Or
>> >> raw fire power. Keeping half the population of some planet hostage
> might
>> >> work as well. Or threathen to blow the whole thing up...
>> >
>> > Remember: There is no 'Overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I
> need to
>> > reload'.
>>
>> Reload?
>> ::strokes his VDG::
>> These babies can fire continously for a week, you know.
>
> Yes, but what happens then?

By then I'll have made my way to the supplies and get some *serious*
firepower. Anyway, I said a week of *continuous* fire. There usually
will be some firepauses it can recharge in.

[It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
s/two./two...]

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to
> absolutely
>> >> >> > rewrite
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> everything below the next paragraph.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> In the master file. First paragraph of installment 15.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first paragraph,
>> > that
>> >> > is.
>> >> >> > And
>> >> >> >> >> >> some more stuff...
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Ooo. *interest*
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Are you sure?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Sort of. Defnitely when the installment's finished. *nod nod*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> <g> Unfortunately haven't had the time to write any more.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Ah, well. *watches!*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Watch *what'?
>> >> >
>> >> > Your writing. *nod nod*
>> >>
>> >> Hah, you can't!
>> >
>> > (That's what /you/ think. *cue scary music*)
>>
>> Hm, no wrong music. I'd rather go with the "Fuge in G(?)-Dur" by J.S.
>> Bach. At least I hope it's the one I mean... Probably it isn't.
>
> *backs away slowly* I don't know exactly what you meant to say, but there
> is something just very, very wrong about using both 'J.S. Bach' and 'Dur' in
> a sentence.

Huh? What's the matter? (And 'G-Dur' translates into 'G major' in case
you didn't know.)

>> >> >> >> >> > No time
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> I get that *all* the time.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Thingamaijg. Good luck.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> As if that's gonna help...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> Three left.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > And straight on 'til morning.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Huh?
>> >> >
>> >> > Making a reference to that 'First star on the right, and straight on
>> > 'til
>> >> > morning.' thingamajig... or was it the first star on the left? Or
> the
>> >> > second star? *frowns* Skah.
>> >>
>> >> That's completely lost on me.
>> >
>> > ...When was the last time you read 'Peter Pan'?
>>
>> Let's say it this way: Peter Pan isn't exactly part of our culture. Not
>> back then at least.
>
> Ah. And what happened to learning everything one could about other cultures
> in order to better understand and work with them?

As a kid? I went straight from fairy tales to Jules Verne...
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
June 22, 2004 8:47:08 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncdgar2.7oa.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-06-21, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrncddseq.4ij.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x3.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>
> [Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/
> s/in/into/]
>
> [Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'Before anybody realized what was happening',
I
> >> > think.
> >> >> >> >> >> > Otherwise,
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > what
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > is
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Just "it"? Shouldn't it be obvious?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Just because something is obvious once someone
> > stops
> >> > to
> >> >> >> > think
> >> >> >> >> >> > about
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > it
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > doesn't mean that it's correct. And I don't
think
> >> > 'it'
> >> >> >> > would
> >> >> >> >> >> > refer
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > to
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'what
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > was happening'... it would refer to something
that
> >> >> > didn't
> >> >> >> > fit
> >> >> >> >> > in
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > there.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Still, putting in all this stuff seems so...
wrong?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > How so?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> I'm not sure - it's an overload of words, if you know
> > what
> >> > I
> >> >> >> > mean.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> (please, please, please)
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maybe. This morning, I was alternately praised for my
> >> >> > brilliant
> >> >> >> >> >> > writing,
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > and verbally flayed for my amateurish style and
clutter.
> > So
> >> >> > you
> >> >> >> > can
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > (hopefully) see how I'm on less firm ground that I
tend
> > to
> >> >> > usually
> >> >> >> >> > be.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Erm... who did that to you?
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Someone whom I view as more knowledgable than me on this
> >> > subject.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Oh. Sounds bad.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Sort of. Remember, she alternated between that and praising
> > me.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Sadistic.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Maybe.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> So... can I keep the aboveish?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Well... I still think that it should say before everybody
realized
> >> > /what/.
> >> >>
> >> >> Damn, I feared you'd say that...
> >> >
> >> > Sorry.
> >>
> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
> >
> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.
>
> Damn.

Sorry.

> {Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
> void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
> seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.
>
> s/*/Elias, however, the phenomenom didn't shake at all, but closed his
> eyes, concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void.
> There were other ways to see than just with the eyes; a mere question
> of training./}
>
> >> >> What do you think?
> >> >
> >> > ...I'm afraid that you're right about yours not sounding any better.
> >>
> >> Damn. Wait, what did that refer to anyway?
> >
> > The 'than just with the eyes' bit.
>
> Oh, yes...

*nods* *peers at it* If you change it to 'just with eyes' it would be
better... not perfect, and still causes the reader to stumble slightly, but
better.

> >> >> > Definitely better! Perhaps 'other ways to see besides just eyes;
a
> > mere
> >> >> > question of training.'?
> >> >>
> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to see besides just
> > yes"?
> >> >
> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
> >>
> >> You *know* what I mean.
> >
> > Sorry.
> >
> > besides // prep. & adv.
> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
> > Usage
>
> So...

Yes?

> >> >> Then again mine probably doesn't sound any
> >> >> better. Still, I't no going to put *that* in.
> >> >
> >> > (Damn.) Maybe I't no going to, but what about you?
> >>
> >> grrrrrrr.
> >
> > Er, right. (Mental note: Must cut back on constructive criticism.)
>
> No, just on unconstructive critism ;-)

Erm, but in criticising your spelling, thus I point you towards your more
common spelling errors, allowing you to focus on spelling them correctly the
next time you use the words!

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> [There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.]
>
> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/*/She made it, she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
> her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}
>
> > 'a spell for her'.
>
> ::nods::

*smiles*

> >> >> >> Although I might want to check with some older installment.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hrm. I'd still say that the 'She made it.' should be changed...
And
> >> > that's
> >> >> > 'her, was it?', if she's mentally mocking those who said such a
> > thing.
> >> >>
> >> >> I don't think I'm going to change that first sentence.
> >> >
> >> > Skah. It just... it conjures up a mental image of someone finishing
a
> > race
> >> > and saying 'I made it!'. The first, strong impression, is that Laiva
> > has
> >> > hurdled some obstacle, run some distance, completed some feat of
> > travelling.
> >>
> >> Well, that's exactly what I associate it with. Not with running, but
the
> >> general situation... it's *meant* like that.
> >
> > Oh. Made it to the end of the spell, then...?
>
> Finally got it right, actually.

Ahh. /Very/ interesting... so it's a struggle to get to the end of it...
what happens if you falter?

> > In that case, I'd suggest better fleshing out the 'magic system' in the
> > earlier installations. This way, the sentence leaves the reader feeling
> > disoriented, as he doesn't know what the author does about how it works.
>
> Erm, what?

The fact that the spell system is such that the phrase 'make it to the end
of a spell' applies.

> > ...Please tell me I haven't just forgotten another important segment of
one
> > of the earlier installments.
>
> No, I don't think so. It's just me changing POVs faster than anyone can
> follow, leaving much for the reader to be filled in - too much
> sometimes.

Ah.

> >> >> >> >> >> > (And on the 'She made it', how about 'She completed the
> > spell'
> >> > or
> >> >> >> > 'She
> >> >> >> >> >> > finished the spell' or 'She finished
> >> > casting/whispering/<whatever>
> >> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> >> > spell'?)
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Nah...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Hrm. Could you clarify exactly what you meant it to mean?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> It's not the meaning... it's... I don't really know.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Ah. You want it to be short, sharp, and to the point? To have
an
> >> >> > effect
> >> >> >> > precisely because of its few words?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Direct hit.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > How about 'She finished. She could still see where she was
going'?
> >> > Since
> >> >> > she started earlier... Maybe 'She finished it.'. And maybe my
> >> > suggestion
> >> >> > on the insertion of the 'still' was flawed.
> >> >>
> >> >> No.
> >> >
> >> > Damn. If nothing else... just go with 'She did it.'.
> >>
> >> <bg>
> >
> > Thingamajig.
>
> NAJISBU
>
> >> >> >> >> >> > ...Or, if it's continuing from the previous paragraph,
'She
> > had
> >> >> > made
> >> >> >> >> > it'.
> >> >> >> >> >> > ('it' referring to the fog noted in the aforementioned
> > previous
> >> >> >> >> > paragraph)
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Perhaps, I'm not sure. I have to reviewq that when I have
> > time.
> >> > Now
> >> >> >> > eher
> >> >> >> >> >> do I get time?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Ask Death. I think he got some from the Death of their
> > universe.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> "their"?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > You could say that, yes. *grins*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Erm, I have _no_ clue what you mean with 'their'...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > The universe of those two Deaths.
> >> >>
> >> >> I so don't know what you are talking about.
> >> >
> >> > You need to read more Terry Pratchett.
> >>
> >> Which one exactly? Last one I read was 'Nightwatch', but I'm not sure
> >> where we are ATM. And I can't remember anything about two Deaths...
> >> except of the thing when Death had been more or fired, but that doesn't
> >> make any sense in this context.
> >
> > I'm referring to Reaper Man. Remember, when he petitioned it/him, and
> > returned laden with Time...?
>
> I feel stupid, I can't remember that...

Oh. Maybe you should read it again. *nod nod*

> >> >> >> Yeah, yeah. As that'd stop me using whatever name/title I just
feel
> >> >> >> like.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *pat pat*
> >> >> >
> >> >> > "It /is/ quite possible for us to speak individually, but that
> > created
> >> >> > problems the last time we did so."
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *mutturz zumtingi uhbowd undurztaytmendz* "Ghaash-lizziez..."
> >> >>
> >> >> ::shrugs::
> >> >> I just call you whetever I want. Or are there any complains?
> >> >> ::gets out plasma gun::
> >> >> Are there?
> >> >
> >> > I'd melt the gun in your hands except that we've agreed to be less
> >> > invincible.
> >>
> >> I never said I was invicable. Just very persisitent(?, can't remember
> >> the right wordi right now...).
> >
> > Erm, we weren't talking about you. (Maybe you're thinking of stubborn?)
>
> More like it, yes.

Ah. *nods slightly*

> >> > *Markus walks up behind you and knocks you on the head*
> >>
> >> You know, that won't even get me a headache. And get down from that
> >> ladder.
> >
> > Who said anything about a ladder? *looks innocent*
>
> Markus is a _norn_...

"Consider, for a moment, the sheer amounts of Sidhe technology that they
left around on their ship. Now, within Albia there must be even more...
but others will excavate it. Ah, well."

> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> [The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
> s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]
>
> [How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk like that!/]
>
> [The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]
>
> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> >> >> > Ooo. An idea: What about this? 'The icy air burned the skin,
the
> > wind
> >> >> > making them shiver.' And the icy air burns the skin of others,
besid
> > es
> >> >> > Laiva and the other girl, correct? Because if it was just them,
and
> > the
> >> >> > others were protected somehow (even with thicker clothing that
> > shrouded
> >> > all
> >> >> > their skin, for example), then 'Their skin was burned by the icy
air,
> >> > and
> >> >> > the wind made them shiver.' would definitely suffice... all
depends
> > on
> >> > the
> >> >> > meaning, though.
> >> >>
> >> >> There are no others... no now, not here.
> >> >
> >> > Ahh. Then while 'burned the skin' still works, it can be cast aside
in
> >> > favour of a more specific approach.
> >>
> >> ::shrugs:: I think I like it the way it is. (think: I'm, the
> >> reader/observer am here as well and it *is* cold, freezing, burning my
> >> skin - why didn't I get some decent clothes for reading. brr...)
> >
> > Ahh. *nods* Makes sense.
>
> Ah, good.

*smiles*

> [Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/
> s/seriously/extremely/]
>
> >> >> > Erm, strange.
> >> >>
> >> >> You tell me.
> >> >
> >> > Didn't I just do that? *paranoid* AIEEE! EVYL... things...
MEDDLING
> >> > WITH THE PROPER FLOW OF TIME AND SPACE! (Space is time and vice
versa,
> > time
> >> > flows, therefore space flows... right?)
> >>
> >> Simple answer: No. And in case you wonder - there is no difficult one.
> >
> > *ahem* AIEEE!
>
> ::shrugs:: You were just talking to the wrong person... I'm a bit biased
> when it comes to physics.

In which direction?

> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> >> >> > Bah. Why be serious? *blinkity*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> It's easier to manage...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > That probably depends on who you are.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...And just noticed more humour. 'hardly any=perhaps by
> > ac[c]ident,
> >> >> > once or
> >> >> >> > twice', yes... but 'much=hardly any'? *amusement*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> You forget the context. It's actually 'never much=hardly any'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Oh. Not referring to the original: Referring to a few lines
above,
> >> > when
> >> >> > you used the equals signs. *checks again* Hrm. I see the
> > difficulty.
> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >>
> >> >> Never forget about the context. It's all context. That and money. Or
> >> >> raw fire power. Keeping half the population of some planet hostage
> > might
> >> >> work as well. Or threathen to blow the whole thing up...
> >> >
> >> > Remember: There is no 'Overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I
> > need to
> >> > reload'.
> >>
> >> Reload?
> >> ::strokes his VDG::
> >> These babies can fire continously for a week, you know.
> >
> > Yes, but what happens then?
>
> By then I'll have made my way to the supplies and get some *serious*
> firepower. Anyway, I said a week of *continuous* fire. There usually
> will be some firepauses it can recharge in.

All right, then. 'Open fire' and 'I need to recharge'.

> [It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
> s/two./two...]
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Things changed that drastically since I threw
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> a certain teacher into action that I have to
> > absolutely
> >> >> >> > rewrite
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> everything below the next paragraph.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *grins* (Wait--what next paragraph?)
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> In the master file. First paragraph of installment
15.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Oh. (Wait... we haven't gotten to #15 yet, have we?)
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Nope, but I have it in the text file. The first
paragraph,
> >> > that
> >> >> > is.
> >> >> >> > And
> >> >> >> >> >> >> some more stuff...
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Ooo. *interest*
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Are you sure?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Sort of. Defnitely when the installment's finished. *nod
nod*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> <g> Unfortunately haven't had the time to write any more.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Ah, well. *watches!*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Watch *what'?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Your writing. *nod nod*
> >> >>
> >> >> Hah, you can't!
> >> >
> >> > (That's what /you/ think. *cue scary music*)
> >>
> >> Hm, no wrong music. I'd rather go with the "Fuge in G(?)-Dur" by J.S.
> >> Bach. At least I hope it's the one I mean... Probably it isn't.
> >
> > *backs away slowly* I don't know exactly what you meant to say, but
there
> > is something just very, very wrong about using both 'J.S. Bach' and
'Dur' in
> > a sentence.
>
> Huh? What's the matter? (And 'G-Dur' translates into 'G major' in case
> you didn't know.)

Ah. As a matter of fact, I didn't.

> >> >> >> >> >> > No time
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> I get that *all* the time.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Thingamaijg. Good luck.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> As if that's gonna help...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> Three left.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > And straight on 'til morning.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Huh?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Making a reference to that 'First star on the right, and straight
on
> >> > 'til
> >> >> > morning.' thingamajig... or was it the first star on the left?
Or
> > the
> >> >> > second star? *frowns* Skah.
> >> >>
> >> >> That's completely lost on me.
> >> >
> >> > ...When was the last time you read 'Peter Pan'?
> >>
> >> Let's say it this way: Peter Pan isn't exactly part of our culture. Not
> >> back then at least.
> >
> > Ah. And what happened to learning everything one could about other
cultures
> > in order to better understand and work with them?
>
> As a kid? I went straight from fairy tales to Jules Verne...

....Wait. Was Jules Verne the one who wrote about submarines years before a
submarine was actually built? *tries to work out author names*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
June 23, 2004 12:05:32 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"Refractor Dragon" <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote in
news:cb9ka0$6h8$1$830fa7a5@news.demon.co.uk:

>> As a kid? I went straight from fairy tales to Jules Verne...
>
> ...Wait. Was Jules Verne the one who wrote about submarines years
> before a submarine was actually built? *tries to work out author
> names*
>

Yes. "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea"
Anonymous
June 23, 2004 3:41:27 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-06-23, xOtix <also@this.invalis> wrote:
> "Refractor Dragon" <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote in
> news:cb9ka0$6h8$1$830fa7a5@news.demon.co.uk:
>
>>> As a kid? I went straight from fairy tales to Jules Verne...
>>
>> ...Wait. Was Jules Verne the one who wrote about submarines years
>> before a submarine was actually built? *tries to work out author
>> names*
>>
>
> Yes. "20,000 Leagues Under The Sea"

::nods::
Many good books, though I never got around the read his last one that is
supposed to be so very different.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
June 30, 2004 3:38:43 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-06-29, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrnce2qf3.7te.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-06-28, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message

[Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/
s/in/into/]

[Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]

>> >> >> >> >> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Damn.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> OOIE (Out Of Ideas Error)
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Skah.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> ::shrugs::
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Bah.
>> >
>> > NAJISBU

>> >> >> >> "To fast for anyone to notice, the village..." Sounds kinda
> stupid,
>> >> >> >> though.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *nods slightly*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> _How_ slightly?
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Quite a bit slightly. Sort of.
>> >> >
>> >> > Firstly, 'quickly', not 'fast', though I don't know why. Secondly,
>> > 'Too',
>> >> > not 'To'. And thirdly, there's the invisible gap: 'Too quickly for
>> > anyone
>> >> > to notice [thing], the village [did whatever]'. You've left out the
>> >> > [thing].
>> >>
>> >> Back to square one.
>> >
>> > Skah.
>>
>> Yes.
>
> (Warning: At this point in time, self overheated and tired.)

Oh, great...

{Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.

s/*/Elias, however, unshaken by the phenomenon, closed his eyes,
concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void. Who
needed eyes to see anyway? A mere question of training./}

> *just stares*
>
> Unshaken by the /what/!?

<innocent look>
What? <veg>
</innocent look>

>> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.'
>> >>
>> >> You are not going to gibve up, are you?
>> >
>> > True... and I'm pretty certain that 'see' is eyes-only. Perception
> doesn't
>> > require eyes. Seeing does. Or, at least, so I believe.
>>
>> It's imagery, don't take everything so literal. And blinds can see with
>> their fingers.
>
> Oh. Good point.

So?

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to see
>> > besides
>> >> >> > just
>> >> >> >> >> > yes"?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> You *know* what I mean.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > besides // prep. & adv.
>> >> >> >> >> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
>> >> >> >> >> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
>> >> >> >> >> > Usage
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> So...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Yes?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> What about : "... Who needed eyes to see in any case (anyway?); a
>> > mere
>> >> >> >> question of training." Although I'm not so sure if the part after
>> > the
>> >> >> >> ';' fits in.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.' And change the semicolon to
> a
>> >> >> > question mark. *nod nod*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Do I have tow write in full sentences? (See above.)
>> >> >
>> >> > *nods* I think so... not certain whether you're referring to the
> 'It
>> > was'
>> >> > or the splitting into separate sentences. If the first, it feels
> like a
>> >> > fragment of a sentence, unfinished; if the second, I /think/ it's
>> > because
>> >>
>> >> Yes, I meant that.
>> >
>> > The 'It was'? I think I gave the reason just below... what's your
>> > reaction?
>>
>> I'm annoyed, but that's my own fault. Still, I don't really know what it
>> is with you and ellipses(sp?) or rather what what it is with you
>> *against* ellipses.
>
> Erm. When have I said I was against ellipses?

ellipse=sentence with some of the sentence structure missing (like a
subject or the verbal form or something like that)

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

[There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.]

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/*/She did it; she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}

>> >> >> > Hmm. Here, I'd suggest 'She made it; she could see' (etc.).
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Sounds good to me.
>> >> >
>> >> > HOOWAH! *much happiness*
>> >> >
>> >> > And after consideration, have you contemplated rewriting the last
>> > sentence
>> >> > slightly in order to avoid the was/wasn't repeat? *thinks* Hrm.
>> > Thought
>> >> > of 'But there was no time for pride.', except that that doesn't
> fit...
>> >> > she's indulging in a slight bit of pride, then concentrating on more
>> >> > important matters. 'no time for pride' would only be when the
>> > narrator's
>> >> > observing, and speaking about what she /might/ have thought, had
> there
>> > been
>> >> > time... Hrm.
>> >>
>> >> Hm...
>> >
>> > Hm?
>>
>> I'm not so sure if I can follow you, but in any case I have no better
>> ideas.
>
> Rulg.

I *know* that's bad.

>> And didn't we agree on 'did it' in any case?
>
> Maybe. Can't remember... in any case, it's better than 'made it'. *nod
> nod*

So where are we?

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

[The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]

[How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk like that!/]

[The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

[Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/
s/seriously/extremely/]

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> > Hrm. Did I advise that you change it from 'only houses were
> probably'
>> > to
>> >> > 'only houses probably were'?
>> >>
>> >> Yes, you did.
>> >
>> > Oh.
>> >
>> > ...Why? *tries to remember*
>>
>> ...because it sounded better? Perhaps?
>
> Urgle. In any case, brain above optimum temperature for thinking. Need
> cold water. Or ice-water. Whatever works.

Try the freezer.

[It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
s/two./two.../]
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 1, 2004 5:19:38 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrnce59hg.b9k.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-06-29, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrnce2qf3.7te.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-06-28, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
>
> [Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/
> s/in/into/]
>
> [Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Damn.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> OOIE (Out Of Ideas Error)
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Skah.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> ::shrugs::
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Bah.
> >> >
> >> > NAJISBU
>
> >> >> >> >> "To fast for anyone to notice, the village..." Sounds kinda
> > stupid,
> >> >> >> >> though.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *nods slightly*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> _How_ slightly?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Quite a bit slightly. Sort of.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Firstly, 'quickly', not 'fast', though I don't know why.
Secondly,
> >> > 'Too',
> >> >> > not 'To'. And thirdly, there's the invisible gap: 'Too quickly
for
> >> > anyone
> >> >> > to notice [thing], the village [did whatever]'. You've left out
the
> >> >> > [thing].
> >> >>
> >> >> Back to square one.
> >> >
> >> > Skah.
> >>
> >> Yes.
> >
> > (Warning: At this point in time, self overheated and tired.)
>
> Oh, great...

Better now. *nod nod*

(Incidently, which webcomics (if any) do you read? If not MegaTokyo
(http://www.megatokyo.com), at least attempt to read through the archives.
*nod nod*)

> {Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
> void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
> seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.
>
> s/*/Elias, however, unshaken by the phenomenon, closed his eyes,
> concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void. Who
> needed eyes to see anyway? A mere question of training./}
>
> > *just stares*
> >
> > Unshaken by the /what/!?
>
> <innocent look>
> What? <veg>
> </innocent look>

Thingamajig. *nods sagely*

> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.'
> >> >>
> >> >> You are not going to gibve up, are you?
> >> >
> >> > True... and I'm pretty certain that 'see' is eyes-only. Perception
> > doesn't
> >> > require eyes. Seeing does. Or, at least, so I believe.
> >>
> >> It's imagery, don't take everything so literal. And blinds can see with
> >> their fingers.
> >
> > Oh. Good point.
>
> So?

If you're that opposed to the 'It was', then how about 'Who needed eyes to
see anyway? Just a mere question of training.'? Not perfect, but it
can/will do...

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to see
> >> > besides
> >> >> >> > just
> >> >> >> >> >> > yes"?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> You *know* what I mean.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > besides // prep. & adv.
> >> >> >> >> >> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
> >> >> >> >> >> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
> >> >> >> >> >> > Usage
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> So...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Yes?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> What about : "... Who needed eyes to see in any case
(anyway?); a
> >> > mere
> >> >> >> >> question of training." Although I'm not so sure if the part
after
> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> ';' fits in.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.' And change the semicolon
to
> > a
> >> >> >> > question mark. *nod nod*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Do I have tow write in full sentences? (See above.)
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *nods* I think so... not certain whether you're referring to the
> > 'It
> >> > was'
> >> >> > or the splitting into separate sentences. If the first, it feels
> > like a
> >> >> > fragment of a sentence, unfinished; if the second, I /think/ it's
> >> > because
> >> >>
> >> >> Yes, I meant that.
> >> >
> >> > The 'It was'? I think I gave the reason just below... what's your
> >> > reaction?
> >>
> >> I'm annoyed, but that's my own fault. Still, I don't really know what
it
> >> is with you and ellipses(sp?) or rather what what it is with you
> >> *against* ellipses.
> >
> > Erm. When have I said I was against ellipses?
>
> ellipse=sentence with some of the sentence structure missing (like a
> subject or the verbal form or something like that)

Oh.

ellipsis // n. (also ellipse) (pl. ellipses //)
1 the omission from a sentence of words needed to complete the construction
or sense.
2 the omission of a sentence at the end of a paragraph.
3 a set of three dots etc. indicating an omission.

I tend to use the third meaning, though generally as a 'trailing off'.

In any case, sentences should (might regret the word 'should', but no other
way to say it comes to mind) be sentences, which almost by their definition
have no structure missing... There are a few exceptions, in the case of
very short 'sentences' indeed, but they're the exception(s), and it/they
doesn't/don't apply to something between the two; one which is /almost/ a
full sentence, but is incomplete.

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> [There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.]
>
> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/*/She did it; she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
> her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}

*smiles*

> >> >> >> > Hmm. Here, I'd suggest 'She made it; she could see' (etc.).
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Sounds good to me.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > HOOWAH! *much happiness*
> >> >> >
> >> >> > And after consideration, have you contemplated rewriting the last
> >> > sentence
> >> >> > slightly in order to avoid the was/wasn't repeat? *thinks* Hrm.
> >> > Thought
> >> >> > of 'But there was no time for pride.', except that that doesn't
> > fit...
> >> >> > she's indulging in a slight bit of pride, then concentrating on
more
> >> >> > important matters. 'no time for pride' would only be when the
> >> > narrator's
> >> >> > observing, and speaking about what she /might/ have thought, had
> > there
> >> > been
> >> >> > time... Hrm.
> >> >>
> >> >> Hm...
> >> >
> >> > Hm?
> >>
> >> I'm not so sure if I can follow you, but in any case I have no better
> >> ideas.
> >
> > Rulg.
>
> I *know* that's bad.

Wait, what?

> >> And didn't we agree on 'did it' in any case?
> >
> > Maybe. Can't remember... in any case, it's better than 'made it'.
*nod
> > nod*
>
> So where are we?
>
> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> [The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
> s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]
>
> [How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk like that!/]
>
> [The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]
>
> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> [Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/
> s/seriously/extremely/]
>
> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> > Hrm. Did I advise that you change it from 'only houses were
> > probably'
> >> > to
> >> >> > 'only houses probably were'?
> >> >>
> >> >> Yes, you did.
> >> >
> >> > Oh.
> >> >
> >> > ...Why? *tries to remember*
> >>
> >> ...because it sounded better? Perhaps?
> >
> > Urgle. In any case, brain above optimum temperature for thinking. Need
> > cold water. Or ice-water. Whatever works.
>
> Try the freezer.

Ehh. Ingrained thingamajigs against leaving the freezer door open too long.
Still, good idea. *nod nod*

> [It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
> s/two./two.../]

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 1, 2004 7:13:28 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-01, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrnce59hg.b9k.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-06-29, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:

[Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.

s/condensated/condensed/
s/in/into/]

[Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
it impossible too see hand before the eyes.

s/village/the village/
s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.
>> >> >> >> >> "To fast for anyone to notice, the village..." Sounds kinda
>> > stupid,
>> >> >> >> >> though.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > *nods slightly*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> _How_ slightly?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...Quite a bit slightly. Sort of.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Firstly, 'quickly', not 'fast', though I don't know why.
> Secondly,
>> >> > 'Too',
>> >> >> > not 'To'. And thirdly, there's the invisible gap: 'Too quickly
> for
>> >> > anyone
>> >> >> > to notice [thing], the village [did whatever]'. You've left out
> the
>> >> >> > [thing].
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Back to square one.
>> >> >
>> >> > Skah.
>> >>
>> >> Yes.
>> >
>> > (Warning: At this point in time, self overheated and tired.)
>>
>> Oh, great...
>
> Better now. *nod nod*
>
> (Incidently, which webcomics (if any) do you read? If not MegaTokyo
> (http://www.megatokyo.com), at least attempt to read through the archives.
> *nod nod*)

I haven't had the time to read it the last few months... Why?

{Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.

s/*/Elias, however, unshaken by the phenomenon, closed his eyes,
concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void. Who
needed eyes to see anyway? A mere question of training./}

>> > *just stares*
>> >
>> > Unshaken by the /what/!?
>> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.'
>> >> >>
>> >> >> You are not going to gibve up, are you?
>> >> >
>> >> > True... and I'm pretty certain that 'see' is eyes-only. Perception
>> > doesn't
>> >> > require eyes. Seeing does. Or, at least, so I believe.
>> >>
>> >> It's imagery, don't take everything so literal. And blinds can see with
>> >> their fingers.
>> >
>> > Oh. Good point.
>>
>> So?
>
> If you're that opposed to the 'It was', then how about 'Who needed eyes to
> see anyway? Just a mere question of training.'? Not perfect, but it
> can/will do...

::is confused::
Didn't I already do that? (Whithout the 'just', that is.)

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to see
>> >> > besides
>> >> >> >> > just
>> >> >> >> >> >> > yes"?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> You *know* what I mean.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > besides // prep. & adv.
>> >> >> >> >> >> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
>> >> >> >> >> >> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Usage
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> So...
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Yes?
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> What about : "... Who needed eyes to see in any case
> (anyway?); a
>> >> > mere
>> >> >> >> >> question of training." Although I'm not so sure if the part
> after
>> >> > the
>> >> >> >> >> ';' fits in.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.' And change the semicolon
> to
>> > a
>> >> >> >> > question mark. *nod nod*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Do I have tow write in full sentences? (See above.)
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *nods* I think so... not certain whether you're referring to the
>> > 'It
>> >> > was'
>> >> >> > or the splitting into separate sentences. If the first, it feels
>> > like a
>> >> >> > fragment of a sentence, unfinished; if the second, I /think/ it's
>> >> > because
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yes, I meant that.
>> >> >
>> >> > The 'It was'? I think I gave the reason just below... what's your
>> >> > reaction?
>> >>
>> >> I'm annoyed, but that's my own fault. Still, I don't really know what
> it
>> >> is with you and ellipses(sp?) or rather what what it is with you
>> >> *against* ellipses.
>> >
>> > Erm. When have I said I was against ellipses?
>>
>> ellipse=sentence with some of the sentence structure missing (like a
>> subject or the verbal form or something like that)
>
> Oh.
>
> ellipsis // n. (also ellipse) (pl. ellipses //)
> 1 the omission from a sentence of words needed to complete the construction
> or sense.
> 2 the omission of a sentence at the end of a paragraph.
> 3 a set of three dots etc. indicating an omission.
>
> I tend to use the third meaning, though generally as a 'trailing off'.
>
> In any case, sentences should (might regret the word 'should', but no other
> way to say it comes to mind) be sentences, which almost by their definition
> have no structure missing... There are a few exceptions, in the case of
> very short 'sentences' indeed, but they're the exception(s), and it/they
> doesn't/don't apply to something between the two; one which is /almost/ a
> full sentence, but is incomplete.

Erm, yes?

[The villagers, on
the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
continued listening closely.

s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]

[There was something else, something
moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
good one, damn good.]

{She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
herself.

s/*/She did it; she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}

> *smiles*

Huh?

>> >> >> > And after consideration, have you contemplated rewriting the last
>> >> > sentence
>> >> >> > slightly in order to avoid the was/wasn't repeat? *thinks* Hrm.
>> >> > Thought
>> >> >> > of 'But there was no time for pride.', except that that doesn't
>> > fit...
>> >> >> > she's indulging in a slight bit of pride, then concentrating on
> more
>> >> >> > important matters. 'no time for pride' would only be when the
>> >> > narrator's
>> >> >> > observing, and speaking about what she /might/ have thought, had
>> > there
>> >> > been
>> >> >> > time... Hrm.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Hm...
>> >> >
>> >> > Hm?
>> >>
>> >> I'm not so sure if I can follow you, but in any case I have no better
>> >> ideas.
>> >
>> > Rulg.
>>
>> I *know* that's bad.
>
> Wait, what?

Er, whatever you said...

>> >> And didn't we agree on 'did it' in any case?
>> >
>> > Maybe. Can't remember... in any case, it's better than 'made it'.
> *nod
>> > nod*
>>
>> So where are we?

JISBU?

[Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
Mynor at her heels.

s/into full/into a full/]

[At least the fires kept
the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.

s/it only one/it even one/]

[Then she turned
to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.

s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]

[Laiva had no time to loose, though.

s/loose/lose/]

[The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.

s/fog, do/fog, so/
s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]

[How were they only
getting out of here like that?

s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
walk like that!/]

[The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
villagers talked their own language.

s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]

[The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.

s/was burning the/burned the/]

[Laiva
had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
she must have been seriously cold.

s/around she must/around, she must/
s/with the fires/with all the fires/
s/seriously/extremely/]

[At least they didn't
seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.

s/to follow them/to be following them/
s/probably though/probably thought/]

[Laiva wondered
how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
from.

s/how they managed/how they had managed/
s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
were/
s/to even get/to get even/]

>> >> >> > Hrm. Did I advise that you change it from 'only houses were
>> > probably'
>> >> > to
>> >> >> > 'only houses probably were'?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yes, you did.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Why? *tries to remember*
>> >>
>> >> ...because it sounded better? Perhaps?
>> >
>> > Urgle. In any case, brain above optimum temperature for thinking. Need
>> > cold water. Or ice-water. Whatever works.
>>
>> Try the freezer.
>
> Ehh. Ingrained thingamajigs against leaving the freezer door open too long.
> Still, good idea. *nod nod*

Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from the freezer and
close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating after all.

[It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
moment or two.

s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
s/two./two.../]
> --
> The Triad
> User of 'Thingamajig!'
> Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-

Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 4, 2004 9:48:10 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrnce8agr.fem.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-01, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrnce59hg.b9k.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-06-29, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>
> [Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>
> s/condensated/condensed/
> s/in/into/]
>
> [Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>
> s/village/the village/
> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]
>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the 'it'.
> >> >> >> >> >> "To fast for anyone to notice, the village..." Sounds kinda
> >> > stupid,
> >> >> >> >> >> though.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> _How_ slightly?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...Quite a bit slightly. Sort of.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Firstly, 'quickly', not 'fast', though I don't know why.
> > Secondly,
> >> >> > 'Too',
> >> >> >> > not 'To'. And thirdly, there's the invisible gap: 'Too
quickly
> > for
> >> >> > anyone
> >> >> >> > to notice [thing], the village [did whatever]'. You've left
out
> > the
> >> >> >> > [thing].
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Back to square one.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Skah.
> >> >>
> >> >> Yes.
> >> >
> >> > (Warning: At this point in time, self overheated and tired.)
> >>
> >> Oh, great...
> >
> > Better now. *nod nod*
> >
> > (Incidently, which webcomics (if any) do you read? If not MegaTokyo
> > (http://www.megatokyo.com), at least attempt to read through the
archives.
> > *nod nod*)
>
> I haven't had the time to read it the last few months... Why?

Very bubhosh webcomic. Not so much anything that's happened in the last few
months--when reading through the archives I didn't pay attention to the
times they were uploaded--but the webcomic itself is worth reading, if you
haven't read it.

> {Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
> void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
> seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.
>
> s/*/Elias, however, unshaken by the phenomenon, closed his eyes,
> concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void. Who
> needed eyes to see anyway? A mere question of training./}
>
> >> > *just stares*
> >> >
> >> > Unshaken by the /what/!?
> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.'
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> You are not going to gibve up, are you?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > True... and I'm pretty certain that 'see' is eyes-only.
Perception
> >> > doesn't
> >> >> > require eyes. Seeing does. Or, at least, so I believe.
> >> >>
> >> >> It's imagery, don't take everything so literal. And blinds can see
with
> >> >> their fingers.
> >> >
> >> > Oh. Good point.
> >>
> >> So?
> >
> > If you're that opposed to the 'It was', then how about 'Who needed eyes
to
> > see anyway? Just a mere question of training.'? Not perfect, but it
> > can/will do...
>
> ::is confused::
> Didn't I already do that? (Whithout the 'just', that is.)

It was the lack of the 'just' that I was referring to.

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to
see
> >> >> > besides
> >> >> >> >> > just
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > yes"?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> You *know* what I mean.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > besides // prep. & adv.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Usage
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> So...
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Yes?
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> What about : "... Who needed eyes to see in any case
> > (anyway?); a
> >> >> > mere
> >> >> >> >> >> question of training." Although I'm not so sure if the part
> > after
> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> >> ';' fits in.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.' And change the
semicolon
> > to
> >> > a
> >> >> >> >> > question mark. *nod nod*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Do I have tow write in full sentences? (See above.)
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *nods* I think so... not certain whether you're referring to
the
> >> > 'It
> >> >> > was'
> >> >> >> > or the splitting into separate sentences. If the first, it
feels
> >> > like a
> >> >> >> > fragment of a sentence, unfinished; if the second, I /think/
it's
> >> >> > because
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yes, I meant that.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > The 'It was'? I think I gave the reason just below... what's
your
> >> >> > reaction?
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm annoyed, but that's my own fault. Still, I don't really know
what
> > it
> >> >> is with you and ellipses(sp?) or rather what what it is with you
> >> >> *against* ellipses.
> >> >
> >> > Erm. When have I said I was against ellipses?
> >>
> >> ellipse=sentence with some of the sentence structure missing (like a
> >> subject or the verbal form or something like that)
> >
> > Oh.
> >
> > ellipsis // n. (also ellipse) (pl. ellipses //)
> > 1 the omission from a sentence of words needed to complete the
construction
> > or sense.
> > 2 the omission of a sentence at the end of a paragraph.
> > 3 a set of three dots etc. indicating an omission.
> >
> > I tend to use the third meaning, though generally as a 'trailing off'.
> >
> > In any case, sentences should (might regret the word 'should', but no
other
> > way to say it comes to mind) be sentences, which almost by their
definition
> > have no structure missing... There are a few exceptions, in the case of
> > very short 'sentences' indeed, but they're the exception(s), and it/they
> > doesn't/don't apply to something between the two; one which is /almost/
a
> > full sentence, but is incomplete.
>
> Erm, yes?

*blinks* ...Then you agree?

> [The villagers, on
> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
> continued listening closely.
>
> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>
> [There was something else, something
> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
> good one, damn good.]
>
> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
> herself.
>
> s/*/She did it; she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
> her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}
>
> > *smiles*
>
> Huh?

....What was I smiling at?

> >> >> >> > And after consideration, have you contemplated rewriting the
last
> >> >> > sentence
> >> >> >> > slightly in order to avoid the was/wasn't repeat? *thinks*
Hrm.
> >> >> > Thought
> >> >> >> > of 'But there was no time for pride.', except that that doesn't
> >> > fit...
> >> >> >> > she's indulging in a slight bit of pride, then concentrating on
> > more
> >> >> >> > important matters. 'no time for pride' would only be when the
> >> >> > narrator's
> >> >> >> > observing, and speaking about what she /might/ have thought,
had
> >> > there
> >> >> > been
> >> >> >> > time... Hrm.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Hm...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hm?
> >> >>
> >> >> I'm not so sure if I can follow you, but in any case I have no
better
> >> >> ideas.
> >> >
> >> > Rulg.
> >>
> >> I *know* that's bad.
> >
> > Wait, what?
>
> Er, whatever you said...

State the definition of 'Rulg'.

> >> >> And didn't we agree on 'did it' in any case?
> >> >
> >> > Maybe. Can't remember... in any case, it's better than 'made it'.
> > *nod
> >> > nod*
> >>
> >> So where are we?
>
> JISBU?

*nods*

More or less settled on 'did it', but if an alternative comes up I'll
probably start backing it.

> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
> Mynor at her heels.
>
> s/into full/into a full/]
>
> [At least the fires kept
> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>
> s/it only one/it even one/]
>
> [Then she turned
> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>
> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>
> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>
> s/loose/lose/]
>
> [The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>
> s/fog, do/fog, so/
> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
> s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]
>
> [How were they only
> getting out of here like that?
>
> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
> walk like that!/]
>
> [The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
> villagers talked their own language.
>
> s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]
>
> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>
> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>
> [Laiva
> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
> she must have been seriously cold.
>
> s/around she must/around, she must/
> s/with the fires/with all the fires/
> s/seriously/extremely/]
>
> [At least they didn't
> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>
> s/to follow them/to be following them/
> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>
> [Laiva wondered
> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
> from.
>
> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
> were/
> s/to even get/to get even/]
>
> >> >> >> > Hrm. Did I advise that you change it from 'only houses were
> >> > probably'
> >> >> > to
> >> >> >> > 'only houses probably were'?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yes, you did.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Oh.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Why? *tries to remember*
> >> >>
> >> >> ...because it sounded better? Perhaps?
> >> >
> >> > Urgle. In any case, brain above optimum temperature for thinking.
Need
> >> > cold water. Or ice-water. Whatever works.
> >>
> >> Try the freezer.
> >
> > Ehh. Ingrained thingamajigs against leaving the freezer door open too
long.
> > Still, good idea. *nod nod*
>
> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from the freezer and
> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating after all.

*nods slightly* Sort of.

> [It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
> moment or two.
>
> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
> s/two./two.../]
> > --
> > The Triad
> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>
> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).

Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably because
I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 5, 2004 2:53:22 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

Refractor Dragon wrote:

> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrnce8agr.fem.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-07-01, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
>> >
> news:slrnce59hg.b9k.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> >> On 2004-06-29, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>>
>> [Suddenly the air became damp and condensated in tiny water drops.
>>
>> s/condensated/condensed/
>> s/in/into/]
>>
>> [Before anybody realized, village had been covered in thick fog, making
>> it impossible too see hand before the eyes.
>>
>> s/village/the village/
>> s/too see hand before the eyes/to see hand before eyes/]
>>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Before anybody had realized it"?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > That just shifts the query to the meaning of the
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'it'.
>> >> >> >> >> >> "To fast for anyone to notice, the village..." Sounds
>> >> >> >> >> >> kinda
>> >> > stupid,
>> >> >> >> >> >> though.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly*
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> _How_ slightly?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...Quite a bit slightly. Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Firstly, 'quickly', not 'fast', though I don't know why.
>> > Secondly,
>> >> >> > 'Too',
>> >> >> >> > not 'To'. And thirdly, there's the invisible gap: 'Too
> quickly
>> > for
>> >> >> > anyone
>> >> >> >> > to notice [thing], the village [did whatever]'. You've left
> out
>> > the
>> >> >> >> > [thing].
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Back to square one.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Skah.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yes.
>> >> >
>> >> > (Warning: At this point in time, self overheated and tired.)
>> >>
>> >> Oh, great...
>> >
>> > Better now. *nod nod*
>> >
>> > (Incidently, which webcomics (if any) do you read? If not MegaTokyo
>> > (http://www.megatokyo.com), at least attempt to read through the
> archives.
>> > *nod nod*)
>>
>> I haven't had the time to read it the last few months... Why?
>
> Very bubhosh webcomic. Not so much anything that's happened in the last
> few months--when reading through the archives I didn't pay attention to
> the times they were uploaded--but the webcomic itself is worth reading, if
> you haven't read it.
>
>> {Elias, however, unimpressed by the phenomenon, listened into the white
>> void. The muted sounds reaching his ears were almost as good as actually
>> seeing what was going on; it was just a question of training.
>>
>> s/*/Elias, however, unshaken by the phenomenon, closed his eyes,
>> concentrating on the muted sounds emerging from the white void. Who
>> needed eyes to see anyway? A mere question of training./}
>>
>> >> > *just stares*
>> >> >
>> >> > Unshaken by the /what/!?
>> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.'
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> You are not going to gibve up, are you?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > True... and I'm pretty certain that 'see' is eyes-only.
> Perception
>> >> > doesn't
>> >> >> > require eyes. Seeing does. Or, at least, so I believe.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> It's imagery, don't take everything so literal. And blinds can see
> with
>> >> >> their fingers.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh. Good point.
>> >>
>> >> So?
>> >
>> > If you're that opposed to the 'It was', then how about 'Who needed eyes
> to
>> > see anyway? Just a mere question of training.'? Not perfect, but it
>> > can/will do...
>>
>> ::is confused::
>> Didn't I already do that? (Whithout the 'just', that is.)
>
> It was the lack of the 'just' that I was referring to.
>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "training", of course... but the other bit... "to
> see
>> >> >> > besides
>> >> >> >> >> > just
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > yes"?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > 'just eyes', not 'just yes'.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> You *know* what I mean.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > besides // prep. & adv.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > prep. in addition to; apart from.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > adv. also; as well; moreover.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Usage
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> So...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Yes?
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> What about : "... Who needed eyes to see in any case
>> > (anyway?); a
>> >> >> > mere
>> >> >> >> >> >> question of training." Although I'm not so sure if the
>> >> >> >> >> >> part
>> > after
>> >> >> > the
>> >> >> >> >> >> ';' fits in.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > 'It was a mere question of training.' And change the
> semicolon
>> > to
>> >> > a
>> >> >> >> >> > question mark. *nod nod*
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Do I have tow write in full sentences? (See above.)
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > *nods* I think so... not certain whether you're referring to
> the
>> >> > 'It
>> >> >> > was'
>> >> >> >> > or the splitting into separate sentences. If the first, it
> feels
>> >> > like a
>> >> >> >> > fragment of a sentence, unfinished; if the second, I /think/
> it's
>> >> >> > because
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yes, I meant that.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > The 'It was'? I think I gave the reason just below... what's
> your
>> >> >> > reaction?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I'm annoyed, but that's my own fault. Still, I don't really know
> what
>> > it
>> >> >> is with you and ellipses(sp?) or rather what what it is with you
>> >> >> *against* ellipses.
>> >> >
>> >> > Erm. When have I said I was against ellipses?
>> >>
>> >> ellipse=sentence with some of the sentence structure missing (like a
>> >> subject or the verbal form or something like that)
>> >
>> > Oh.
>> >
>> > ellipsis // n. (also ellipse) (pl. ellipses //)
>> > 1 the omission from a sentence of words needed to complete the
> construction
>> > or sense.
>> > 2 the omission of a sentence at the end of a paragraph.
>> > 3 a set of three dots etc. indicating an omission.
>> >
>> > I tend to use the third meaning, though generally as a 'trailing off'.
>> >
>> > In any case, sentences should (might regret the word 'should', but no
> other
>> > way to say it comes to mind) be sentences, which almost by their
> definition
>> > have no structure missing... There are a few exceptions, in the case
>> > of very short 'sentences' indeed, but they're the exception(s), and
>> > it/they doesn't/don't apply to something between the two; one which is
>> > /almost/
> a
>> > full sentence, but is incomplete.
>>
>> Erm, yes?
>
> *blinks* ...Then you agree?
>
>> [The villagers, on
>> the other hand, panicked finally and now people were constantly
>> bumping into, stumbling and falling over each other. Elias stepped to
>> the side, narrowly the man crashed into the wall next to him and
>> continued listening closely.
>>
>> s/the man crashed/avoiding a man who crashed/]
>>
>> [There was something else, something
>> moving from the border of the village towards the stake, in what
>> seemed like a more or less straight line. A hothead for sure, but a
>> good one, damn good.]
>>
>> {She made it. She could see where she was going; now someone ought to
>> say it was too hard a spell for her, but it wasn't the time to priding
>> herself.
>>
>> s/*/She did it; she could see where she was going. Too hard a spell for
>> her, was it? But now wasn't the time for pride./}
>>
>> > *smiles*
>>
>> Huh?
>
> ...What was I smiling at?
>
>> >> >> >> > And after consideration, have you contemplated rewriting the
> last
>> >> >> > sentence
>> >> >> >> > slightly in order to avoid the was/wasn't repeat? *thinks*
> Hrm.
>> >> >> > Thought
>> >> >> >> > of 'But there was no time for pride.', except that that
>> >> >> >> > doesn't
>> >> > fit...
>> >> >> >> > she's indulging in a slight bit of pride, then concentrating
>> >> >> >> > on
>> > more
>> >> >> >> > important matters. 'no time for pride' would only be when the
>> >> >> > narrator's
>> >> >> >> > observing, and speaking about what she /might/ have thought,
> had
>> >> > there
>> >> >> > been
>> >> >> >> > time... Hrm.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Hm...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Hm?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I'm not so sure if I can follow you, but in any case I have no
> better
>> >> >> ideas.
>> >> >
>> >> > Rulg.
>> >>
>> >> I *know* that's bad.
>> >
>> > Wait, what?
>>
>> Er, whatever you said...
>
> State the definition of 'Rulg'.
>
>> >> >> And didn't we agree on 'did it' in any case?
>> >> >
>> >> > Maybe. Can't remember... in any case, it's better than 'made it'.
>> > *nod
>> >> > nod*
>> >>
>> >> So where are we?
>>
>> JISBU?
>
> *nods*
>
> More or less settled on 'did it', but if an alternative comes up I'll
> probably start backing it.
>
>> [Laiva jumped up and in one movement broke into full run,
>> Mynor at her heels.
>>
>> s/into full/into a full/]
>>
>> [At least the fires kept
>> the villagers out of the center. Quickly she pulled the arrow out of
>> the man's body and grabbed his dagger; she didn't need it, but there
>> was no way she'd let them use it only one more time.
>>
>> s/it only one/it even one/]
>>
>> [Then she turned
>> to the stake and, with a few quick cuts, freed the girl from the
>> ropes, causing her to sink to the ground. She was indeed alive, but
>> hardly conscious; what had they only done to her.
>>
>> s/they only done to her./they done to her?/
>> s/ropes, causing her to/ropes, letting her/]
>>
>> [Laiva had no time to loose, though.
>>
>> s/loose/lose/]
>>
>> [The havoc wouldn't last forever and neither would the
>> fog, do she put the girls arm around her shoulders and pulled her
>> upright; she was heavier than she looked for sure.
>>
>> s/fog, do/fog, so/
>> s/heavier than she looked for sure/certainly heavier than she looked/
>> s/the girls arm/the girl's arm/]
>>
>> [How were they only
>> getting out of here like that?
>>
>> s/*/How were they going to make it to safety? She couldn't even properly
>> walk like that!/]
>>
>> [The Azanee girl was heaving a much harder time for sure, but as far as
>> he could tell she was doing well. The yells and curses of the
>> villagers talked their own language.
>>
>> s/talked their own language/were proof enough of that/]
>>
>> [The icy air was burning the skin and the wind made them shiver.
>>
>> s/was burning the/burned the/]
>>
>> [Laiva
>> had given her coat to the other girl; she wouldn't have survived for
>> more than a few minutes in her thin dress. Even with the fires around
>> she must have been seriously cold.
>>
>> s/around she must/around, she must/
>> s/with the fires/with all the fires/
>> s/seriously/extremely/]
>>
>> [At least they didn't
>> seem to follow them; they probably though they wouldn't get far before
>> freezing to death anyway and perhaps they were right.
>>
>> s/to follow them/to be following them/
>> s/probably though/probably thought/]
>>
>> [Laiva wondered
>> how they managed to even get this far; what they needed now was a
>> warming fire, but the deep snow made even the thought appear futile
>> and and the only houses were probably the ones they were running away
>> from.
>>
>> s/how they managed/how they had managed/
>> s/and and the only houses were probably/and the only houses probably
>> were/
>> s/to even get/to get even/]
>>
>> >> >> >> > Hrm. Did I advise that you change it from 'only houses were
>> >> > probably'
>> >> >> > to
>> >> >> >> > 'only houses probably were'?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yes, you did.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Oh.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...Why? *tries to remember*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> ...because it sounded better? Perhaps?
>> >> >
>> >> > Urgle. In any case, brain above optimum temperature for thinking.
> Need
>> >> > cold water. Or ice-water. Whatever works.
>> >>
>> >> Try the freezer.
>> >
>> > Ehh. Ingrained thingamajigs against leaving the freezer door open too
> long.
>> > Still, good idea. *nod nod*
>>
>> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from the freezer and
>> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating after all.
>
> *nods slightly* Sort of.
>
>> [It wasn't as cold as she had expected, comforting
>> even, surrounding her like a soft blanket. She felt so tired all of
>> the sudden; a bit of sleep surely wouldn't hurt, would it? Just a
>> moment or two.
>>
>> s/all of the sudden/all of a sudden/
>> s/two./two.../]
>> > --
>> > The Triad
>> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
>> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>>
>> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
>
> Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
> because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
>

Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't be
changed.
--
"Before C3, we called them COBblers. now they're called Agent Smiths." --
bd_
Anonymous
July 5, 2004 8:58:30 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

<snip>
> >> > --
> >> > The Triad
> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
> >>
> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
> >
> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
> >
>
> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't be
> changed.

....Very strange. *thinks*

....I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 5, 2004 8:58:31 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

Refractor Dragon wrote:

> <snip>
>> >> > --
>> >> > The Triad
>> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
>> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>> >>
>> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
>> >
>> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
>> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
>> >
>>
>> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't be
>> changed.
>
> ...Very strange. *thinks*
>
> ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
> changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?
>

The problem is nobody else has changed, thus making your (arguably better)
standard much less useful than the standard one, as it's not seen as a
signature delimiter by clients. And, as a result, newsreaders fail to chop
off signatures, the resulting extra data overloads data cables, the
resulting extra heats causes global warming, and all life on earth is
extinguished. So don't do that.

--
"Before C3, we called them COBblers. now they're called Agent Smiths." --
bd_
Anonymous
July 6, 2004 4:42:14 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-05, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
><snip>
>> >> > --
>> >> > The Triad
>> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
>> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>> >>
>> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
>> >
>> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
>> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
>> >
>>
>> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't be
>> changed.
>
> ...Very strange. *thinks*
>
> ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
> changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?

Oh, oh... message loss!!!
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 6, 2004 6:25:09 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"bd" <bdonlan@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:emror1-ve.ln1@bd-home-comp.no-ip.org...
> Refractor Dragon wrote:
>
> > <snip>
> >> >> > --
> >> >> > The Triad
> >> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
> >> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
> >> >>
> >> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
> >> >
> >> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
> >> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
> >> >
> >>
> >> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't
be
> >> changed.
> >
> > ...Very strange. *thinks*
> >
> > ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
> > changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?
> >
>
> The problem is nobody else has changed, thus making your (arguably better)
> standard much less useful than the standard one, as it's not seen as a
> signature delimiter by clients. And, as a result, newsreaders fail to chop
> off signatures, the resulting extra data overloads data cables, the
> resulting extra heats causes global warming, and all life on earth is
> extinguished. So don't do that.

Ah.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 7, 2004 4:54:21 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncel7h8.knb.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-05, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> ><snip>
> >> >> > --
> >> >> > The Triad
> >> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
> >> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
> >> >>
> >> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
> >> >
> >> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
> >> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
> >> >
> >>
> >> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't
be
> >> changed.
> >
> > ...Very strange. *thinks*
> >
> > ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
> > changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?
>
> Oh, oh... message loss!!!

You mean that you're losing messages?

GAH.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 8, 2004 4:14:21 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncel7h8.knb.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-07-05, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> ><snip>
>> >> >> > --
>> >> >> > The Triad
>> >> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
>> >> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
>> >> >
>> >> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's probably
>> >> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the top)
>> >> >
>> >>
>> >> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it can't
> be
>> >> changed.
>> >
>> > ...Very strange. *thinks*
>> >
>> > ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
>> > changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?
>>
>> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
>
> You mean that you're losing messages?
>
> GAH.

Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this thread
(correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got lost.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 8, 2004 6:27:11 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrnceqekv.aug.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrncel7h8.knb.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-07-05, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> ><snip>
> >> >> >> > --
> >> >> >> > The Triad
> >> >> >> > User of 'Thingamajig!'
> >> >> >> > Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Your sig separator is missing a space after the two dashes(?).
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Erm. Question: Why does it require a space? (And that's
probably
> >> >> > because I had to type it in manually, not cut and paste from the
top)
> >> >> >
> >> >>
> >> >> Just Because. It's an awful standard that's sort of set in so it
can't
> > be
> >> >> changed.
> >> >
> >> > ...Very strange. *thinks*
> >> >
> >> > ...I think I'm missing something. If it's a bad thing that can't be
> >> > changed, but I managed to change it, then where's the problem?
> >>
> >> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
> >
> > You mean that you're losing messages?
> >
> > GAH.
>
> Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this thread
> (correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got lost.

Yeegah. Can you use Google Groups?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 9, 2004 10:17:59 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-08, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrnceqekv.aug.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
>> >
>> > You mean that you're losing messages?
>> >
>> > GAH.
>>
>> Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this thread
>> (correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got lost.
>
> Yeegah. Can you use Google Groups?

I'll try another newsserver at the weekend - that should work. I really
hate it when things lika that happen to me.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 9, 2004 5:02:43 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncese4p.f1p.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-08, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrnceqekv.aug.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
> >> >
> >> > You mean that you're losing messages?
> >> >
> >> > GAH.
> >>
> >> Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this thread
> >> (correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got
lost.
> >
> > Yeegah. Can you use Google Groups?
>
> I'll try another newsserver at the weekend - that should work. I really
> hate it when things lika that happen to me.

*nods sympathetically*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 10, 2004 10:38:58 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-07-09, illusion
<ccm1h5$t4j$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncese4p.f1p.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-07-08, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
>> >
> news:slrnceqekv.aug.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> >> On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> >> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
>> >> >
>> >> > You mean that you're losing messages?
>> >> >
>> >> > GAH.
>> >>
>> >> Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this thread
>> >> (correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got
> lost.
>> >
>> > Yeegah. Can you use Google Groups?
>>
>> I'll try another newsserver at the weekend - that should work. I really
>> hate it when things lika that happen to me.
>
> *nods sympathetically*

I want to nod that server... or better knock. Down and out of orbit,
that is.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 10, 2004 7:47:20 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncev3eo.r9.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-07-09, illusion
> <ccm1h5$t4j$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrncese4p.f1p.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-07-08, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >> >
> >
news:slrnceqekv.aug.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> >> On 2004-07-07, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> >> Oh, oh... message loss!!!
> >> >> >
> >> >> > You mean that you're losing messages?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > GAH.
> >> >>
> >> >> Yeah, including - but not limited to - your last reply to this
thread
> >> >> (correction wise). I guess the whole bunch you posted that day got
> > lost.
> >> >
> >> > Yeegah. Can you use Google Groups?
> >>
> >> I'll try another newsserver at the weekend - that should work. I really
> >> hate it when things lika that happen to me.
> >
> > *nods sympathetically*
>
> I want to nod that server... or better knock. Down and out of orbit,
> that is.

*nods* Hoowah self-correcting emmel!

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 16, 2004 10:19:19 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-15, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> What about: "Before anybody realized what had happened, the village had
>> >> already been covered in thick fog, making it impossible too see hand
>> >> before..."?
>> >
>> > The 'already' adds nothing.
>>
>> Hm, but it doesn't hurt either, does it?
>
> Might clutter it somwhat, along with the other things... not certain,
> though. If you feel strongly about it, you should probably keep it.

I'm not sure in which way it ought to clutter it, but I *do* believe it
should be in there.

>> >> >> >> > Yes, but you were the one who said whatever it was that I was
>> > smiling
>> >> >> > at.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Oh, yeah? So does your dog. Wait, that was the wrong reply,
> wasn't
>> > it?
>> >> >> >> <eg>
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *picks up very thin, very sharp glinting implement* How about you
>> > point
>> >> > me
>> >> >> > in the direction of my 'dog'?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Huh?
>> >> >
>> >> > Dogs are stringy... but I'd rather feast on the flesh of a dog than
> a
>> > cat
>> >> > any day.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Though I suppose it depends if I'd defeated the cat in fair combat
> or
>> >> > not. With the dog, I'd just hunt it down and slaughter it.
>> >>
>> >> Err...
>> >> ::hides::
>> >
>> > *snickers*
>>
>> You... why?!
>
> What?

#starting replay
Triad: *snickers*
#end of replay

>> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >
>> >> > I can guess.
>> >>
>> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >
>> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>>
>> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>
> Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*

Huh?

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from the
>> >> > freezer
>> >> >> > and
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating
> after
>> > all.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Physics!
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Maths!
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> The Math Carpet...
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
>> >>
>> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even say that
>> >> in English?)
>> >
>> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
>>
>> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
>> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil drilling
>> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water like a
>> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish phrase
>> correspondents to it, though.
>
> Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
>
> oil slick n.
> a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.

Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.

>> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's *not* the
>> >> >> omnious humm>
>> >> >
>> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma weapons, don't
>> > you?
>> >>
>> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws and
>> >> fangs...
>> >
>> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
>>
>> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit nasty. I
>> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast and
>> easy to grap and use, you see.
>
> Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws. Attach claws
> firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of destruction out
> of the tips...

I think you are overdoing it a bit here... and remember what I said
about integrated weaponery above?

>> >> >> Depends. Very much. I learned the hard way that I don't really like
>> >> >> Maths, you see.
>> >> >
>> >> > How so?
>> >>
>> >> Well, I have to take some lectures in maths...
>> >
>> > ...Was that supposed to be future tense?
>>
>> That was not-so-well-done present, I think.
>
> Strange.

That's life.

>> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'. Whoever
>> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >
>> > ...How nice.
>>
>> Being sarcastic?
>
> Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a matching pen
> and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'

::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 16, 2004 6:43:00 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncfesr8.e7j.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-15, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> What about: "Before anybody realized what had happened, the village
had
> >> >> already been covered in thick fog, making it impossible too see hand
> >> >> before..."?
> >> >
> >> > The 'already' adds nothing.
> >>
> >> Hm, but it doesn't hurt either, does it?
> >
> > Might clutter it somwhat, along with the other things... not certain,
> > though. If you feel strongly about it, you should probably keep it.
>
> I'm not sure in which way it ought to clutter it, but I *do* believe it
> should be in there.

Hmm.

> >> >> >> >> > Yes, but you were the one who said whatever it was that I
was
> >> > smiling
> >> >> >> > at.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Oh, yeah? So does your dog. Wait, that was the wrong reply,
> > wasn't
> >> > it?
> >> >> >> >> <eg>
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *picks up very thin, very sharp glinting implement* How about
you
> >> > point
> >> >> > me
> >> >> >> > in the direction of my 'dog'?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Huh?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Dogs are stringy... but I'd rather feast on the flesh of a dog
than
> > a
> >> > cat
> >> >> > any day.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Though I suppose it depends if I'd defeated the cat in fair
combat
> > or
> >> >> > not. With the dog, I'd just hunt it down and slaughter it.
> >> >>
> >> >> Err...
> >> >> ::hides::
> >> >
> >> > *snickers*
> >>
> >> You... why?!
> >
> > What?
>
> #starting replay
> Triad: *snickers*
> #end of replay

Ah. In short, we were amused.

> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >>
> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >
> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >>
> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >
> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
>
> Huh?

Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting sidetracked.
BAH.

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from
the
> >> >> > freezer
> >> >> >> > and
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating
> > after
> >> > all.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
> >> >>
> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even say
that
> >> >> in English?)
> >> >
> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
> >>
> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil drilling
> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water like a
> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish phrase
> >> correspondents to it, though.
> >
> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
> >
> > oil slick n.
> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
>
> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.

*nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular layer of
Math?)

> >> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's *not*
the
> >> >> >> omnious humm>
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma weapons,
don't
> >> > you?
> >> >>
> >> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws and
> >> >> fangs...
> >> >
> >> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
> >>
> >> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit nasty. I
> >> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast and
> >> easy to grap and use, you see.
> >
> > Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws. Attach
claws
> > firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of destruction
out
> > of the tips...
>
> I think you are overdoing it a bit here...

There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I need to recharge'.

> and remember what I said
> about integrated weaponery above?

No, what?

> >> >> >> Depends. Very much. I learned the hard way that I don't really
like
> >> >> >> Maths, you see.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > How so?
> >> >>
> >> >> Well, I have to take some lectures in maths...
> >> >
> >> > ...Was that supposed to be future tense?
> >>
> >> That was not-so-well-done present, I think.
> >
> > Strange.
>
> That's life.

[imitation]Life. Don't talk to me about life.[/imitation]

> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'. Whoever
> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >
> >> > ...How nice.
> >>
> >> Being sarcastic?
> >
> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a matching
pen
> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>
> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::

You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!

> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?

Sorry.

....And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed title for
the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy, trying
to escape her fate?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 19, 2004 3:22:13 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-16, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> >> Err...
>> >> >> ::hides::
>> >> >
>> >> > *snickers*
>> >>
>> >> You... why?!
>> >
>> > What?
>>
>> #starting replay
>> Triad: *snickers*
>> #end of replay
>
> Ah. In short, we were amused.

What a dry reply.
::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
Better, much better.

>> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > I can guess.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >> >
>> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>> >>
>> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>> >
>> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
>>
>> Huh?
>
> Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting sidetracked.
> BAH.

It really had *nothing* to do with servers...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water) from
> the
>> >> >> > freezer
>> >> >> >> > and
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of heating
>> > after
>> >> > all.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even say
> that
>> >> >> in English?)
>> >> >
>> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
>> >>
>> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
>> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil drilling
>> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water like a
>> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish phrase
>> >> correspondents to it, though.
>> >
>> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
>> >
>> > oil slick n.
>> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
>>
>> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.
>
> *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular layer of
> Math?)

Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are in
the wrong place...

>> >> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's *not*
> the
>> >> >> >> omnious humm>
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma weapons,
> don't
>> >> > you?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws and
>> >> >> fangs...
>> >> >
>> >> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
>> >>
>> >> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit nasty. I
>> >> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast and
>> >> easy to grap and use, you see.
>> >
>> > Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws. Attach
> claws
>> > firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of destruction
> out
>> > of the tips...
>>
>> I think you are overdoing it a bit here...
>
> There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I need to recharge'.

<bg>
::notes the adapted version::
Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.

>> and remember what I said
>> about integrated weaponery above?
>
> No, what?

Look above, would you?

>> >> >> >> Depends. Very much. I learned the hard way that I don't really
> like
>> >> >> >> Maths, you see.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > How so?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Well, I have to take some lectures in maths...
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Was that supposed to be future tense?
>> >>
>> >> That was not-so-well-done present, I think.
>> >
>> > Strange.
>>
>> That's life.
>
> [imitation]Life. Don't talk to me about life.[/imitation]

Erm, yes.

>> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'. Whoever
>> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...How nice.
>> >>
>> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >
>> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a matching
> pen
>> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>>
>> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>
> You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
>
Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?

>> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
>
> Sorry.
>
> ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed title for
> the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
> revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy, trying
> to escape her fate?

Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy, well, I
love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 19, 2004 9:12:26 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncfnbn6.mbj.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-16, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> >> Err...
> >> >> >> ::hides::
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *snickers*
> >> >>
> >> >> You... why?!
> >> >
> >> > What?
> >>
> >> #starting replay
> >> Triad: *snickers*
> >> #end of replay
> >
> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>
> What a dry reply.
> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
> Better, much better.

*shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the water
trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*

> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >> >>
> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >> >
> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
> >>
> >> Huh?
> >
> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting sidetracked.
> > BAH.
>
> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...

That's what you think...

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water)
from
> > the
> >> >> >> > freezer
> >> >> >> >> > and
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
heating
> >> > after
> >> >> > all.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even say
> > that
> >> >> >> in English?)
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
> >> >>
> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil drilling
> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water like
a
> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish phrase
> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
> >> >
> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
> >> >
> >> > oil slick n.
> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
> >>
> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.
> >
> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular layer
of
> > Math?)
>
> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are in
> the wrong place...

Really depends who's using it, then.

> >> >> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's
*not*
> > the
> >> >> >> >> omnious humm>
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma weapons,
> > don't
> >> >> > you?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws
and
> >> >> >> fangs...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
> >> >>
> >> >> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit
nasty. I
> >> >> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast
and
> >> >> easy to grap and use, you see.
> >> >
> >> > Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws. Attach
> > claws
> >> > firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of
destruction
> > out
> >> > of the tips...
> >>
> >> I think you are overdoing it a bit here...
> >
> > There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I need to
recharge'.
>
> <bg>
> ::notes the adapted version::
> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.

Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/ it.
*nods sagely*

> >> and remember what I said
> >> about integrated weaponery above?
> >
> > No, what?
>
> Look above, would you?

....I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at once,
but not about integrated weaponry.

> >> >> >> >> Depends. Very much. I learned the hard way that I don't really
> > like
> >> >> >> >> Maths, you see.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > How so?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Well, I have to take some lectures in maths...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Was that supposed to be future tense?
> >> >>
> >> >> That was not-so-well-done present, I think.
> >> >
> >> > Strange.
> >>
> >> That's life.
> >
> > [imitation]Life. Don't talk to me about life.[/imitation]
>
> Erm, yes.

Quite.

> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'.
Whoever
> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >>
> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >
> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
matching
> > pen
> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >>
> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >
> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
> >
> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?

The songs of Tom Lehrer.

> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
> >
> > Sorry.
> >
> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed title
for
> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy,
trying
> > to escape her fate?
>
> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy, well, I
> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.

Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically gravitates
to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no actual
'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself nearish
the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 20, 2004 4:01:55 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-19, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncfnbn6.mbj.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
>> On 2004-07-16, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> >> >> Err...
>> >> >> >> ::hides::
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *snickers*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> You... why?!
>> >> >
>> >> > What?
>> >>
>> >> #starting replay
>> >> Triad: *snickers*
>> >> #end of replay
>> >
>> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>>
>> What a dry reply.
>> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
>> Better, much better.
>
> *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the water
> trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*

Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so... dusty?

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > I can guess.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>> >> >
>> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
>> >>
>> >> Huh?
>> >
>> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting sidetracked.
>> > BAH.
>>
>> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
>
> That's what you think...

I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water)
> from
>> > the
>> >> >> >> > freezer
>> >> >> >> >> > and
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
> heating
>> >> > after
>> >> >> > all.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even say
>> > that
>> >> >> >> in English?)
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
>> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil drilling
>> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water like
> a
>> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish phrase
>> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
>> >> >
>> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
>> >> >
>> >> > oil slick n.
>> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
>> >>
>> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.
>> >
>> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular layer
> of
>> > Math?)
>>
>> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are in
>> the wrong place...
>
> Really depends who's using it, then.

Yeah... don't remind me.

>> >> >> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's
> *not*
>> > the
>> >> >> >> >> omnious humm>
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma weapons,
>> > don't
>> >> >> > you?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws
> and
>> >> >> >> fangs...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit
> nasty. I
>> >> >> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast
> and
>> >> >> easy to grap and use, you see.
>> >> >
>> >> > Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws. Attach
>> > claws
>> >> > firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of
> destruction
>> > out
>> >> > of the tips...
>> >>
>> >> I think you are overdoing it a bit here...
>> >
>> > There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I need to
> recharge'.
>>
>> <bg>
>> ::notes the adapted version::
>> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
>
> Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/ it.
> *nods sagely*

Depends.

>> >> and remember what I said
>> >> about integrated weaponery above?
>> >
>> > No, what?
>>
>> Look above, would you?
>
> ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at once,
> but not about integrated weaponry.

That's be 'other means of carrying'.

>> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'.
> Whoever
>> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...How nice.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >> >
>> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
> matching
>> > pen
>> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>> >>
>> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>> >
>> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
>> >
>> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
>
> The songs of Tom Lehrer.

....which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.

>> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
>> >
>> > Sorry.
>> >
>> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed title
> for
>> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
>> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy,
> trying
>> > to escape her fate?
>>
>> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy, well, I
>> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>
> Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically gravitates
> to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no actual

Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a thing.

> 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself nearish
> the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
> of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...

::snickers::
::laughs::
ROFL
..
..
..
later...
Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 20, 2004 9:06:16 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncfq2dl.ps5.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-19, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >
news:slrncfnbn6.mbj.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> >> On 2004-07-16, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> >> >> Err...
> >> >> >> >> ::hides::
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *snickers*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> You... why?!
> >> >> >
> >> >> > What?
> >> >>
> >> >> #starting replay
> >> >> Triad: *snickers*
> >> >> #end of replay
> >> >
> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
> >>
> >> What a dry reply.
> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
> >> Better, much better.
> >
> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the water
> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
>
> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so... dusty?

Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...

Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
> >> >>
> >> >> Huh?
> >> >
> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
sidetracked.
> >> > BAH.
> >>
> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
> >
> > That's what you think...
>
> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.

Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water)
> > from
> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> > freezer
> >> >> >> >> >> > and
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
> > heating
> >> >> > after
> >> >> >> > all.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even
say
> >> > that
> >> >> >> >> in English?)
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
> >> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil
drilling
> >> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water
like
> > a
> >> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish
phrase
> >> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > oil slick n.
> >> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.
> >> >
> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular
layer
> > of
> >> > Math?)
> >>
> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are in
> >> the wrong place...
> >
> > Really depends who's using it, then.
>
> Yeah... don't remind me.

Thingamajig.

> >> >> >> >> >> <insert obvious omnious music cue(sp?) here, and no, it's
> > *not*
> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> >> omnious humm>
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Though I suppose you do have a few plasma
weapons,
> >> > don't
> >> >> >> > you?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Yeah, but I go for long range high energy pulse guns. Or claws
> > and
> >> >> >> >> fangs...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > What, the two are mutally exclusive?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Not really, but using claws while holding plasma guns is a bit
> > nasty. I
> >> >> >> don't really like the other means of carrying one. Should be fast
> > and
> >> >> >> easy to grap and use, you see.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Better idea: Have the high energy pulse guns /be/ the claws.
Attach
> >> > claws
> >> >> > firmly to fingers, up close slash, far off shoot pulses of
> > destruction
> >> > out
> >> >> > of the tips...
> >> >>
> >> >> I think you are overdoing it a bit here...
> >> >
> >> > There is no 'overkill'. There is only 'Open fire' and 'I need to
> > recharge'.
> >>
> >> <bg>
> >> ::notes the adapted version::
> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
> >
> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/ it.
> > *nods sagely*
>
> Depends.

On what?

> >> >> and remember what I said
> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
> >> >
> >> > No, what?
> >>
> >> Look above, would you?
> >
> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at
once,
> > but not about integrated weaponry.
>
> That's be 'other means of carrying'.

Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?

> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'.
> > Whoever
> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
> > matching
> >> > pen
> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >> >>
> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >> >
> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
> >> >
> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
> >
> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
>
> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.

*hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*

> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
> >> >
> >> > Sorry.
> >> >
> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed
title
> > for
> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy,
> > trying
> >> > to escape her fate?
> >>
> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy, well, I
> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
> >
> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
gravitates
> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no actual
>
> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a thing.

Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going /against/
the thing. Sort of.

> > 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself
nearish
> > the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
> > of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...
>
> ::snickers::
> ::laughs::
> ROFL
> .
> .
> .
> later...
> Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.

....What?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 21, 2004 10:03:21 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-20, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>> >>
>> >> What a dry reply.
>> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
>> >> Better, much better.
>> >
>> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the water
>> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
>>
>> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so... dusty?
>
> Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...

Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
*have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.

> Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!

So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as miserable as
posibble?

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Huh?
>> >> >
>> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
> sidetracked.
>> >> > BAH.
>> >>
>> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
>> >
>> > That's what you think...
>>
>> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
>
> Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*

What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
InSaNe.)

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the ice(water)
>> > from
>> >> > the
>> >> >> >> >> > freezer
>> >> >> >> >> >> > and
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
>> > heating
>> >> >> > after
>> >> >> >> > all.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I even
> say
>> >> > that
>> >> >> >> >> in English?)
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the litteral
>> >> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil
> drilling
>> >> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the water
> like
>> > a
>> >> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish
> phrase
>> >> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > oil slick n.
>> >> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about carpets.
>> >> >
>> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular
> layer
>> > of
>> >> > Math?)
>> >>
>> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are in
>> >> the wrong place...
>> >
>> > Really depends who's using it, then.
>>
>> Yeah... don't remind me.
>
> Thingamajig.

No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.

>> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
>> >
>> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/ it.
>> > *nods sagely*
>>
>> Depends.
>
> On what?

On who you are.

>> >> >> and remember what I said
>> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
>> >> >
>> >> > No, what?
>> >>
>> >> Look above, would you?
>> >
>> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at
> once,
>> > but not about integrated weaponry.
>>
>> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
>
> Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?

No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it breaks
you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
scanners... not really helpful.

>> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The Current'.
>> > Whoever
>> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
>> > matching
>> >> > pen
>> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>> >> >>
>> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>> >> >
>> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
>> >> >
>> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
>> >
>> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
>>
>> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
>
> *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*

Whatever.

>> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
>> >> >
>> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed
> title
>> > for
>> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
>> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the prophecy,
>> > trying
>> >> > to escape her fate?
>> >>
>> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy, well, I
>> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>> >
>> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
> gravitates
>> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no actual
>>
>> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
>> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a thing.
>
> Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going /against/
> the thing. Sort of.

Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
refer very well to a number of other things.

>> > 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself
> nearish
>> > the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
>> > of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...
>>
>> ::snickers::
>> ::laughs::
>> ROFL
>> .
>> .
>> .
>> later...
>> Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.
>
> ...What?

Sorry. I don't know if I even can write it that way, but the way I
picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
::giggles::
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 21, 2004 11:38:03 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncfs1pa.rp3.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-20, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
> >> >>
> >> >> What a dry reply.
> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
> >> >> Better, much better.
> >> >
> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the
water
> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
> >>
> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so... dusty?
> >
> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
>
> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.

Such as?

> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>
> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as miserable as
> posibble?

You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
miserable as posibble[sic]?

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Huh?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
> > sidetracked.
> >> >> > BAH.
> >> >>
> >> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
> >> >
> >> > That's what you think...
> >>
> >> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
> >
> > Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*
>
> What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
> InSaNe.)

*great amusement* Hoowah!

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the
ice(water)
> >> > from
> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> >> > freezer
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > and
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
> >> > heating
> >> >> >> > after
> >> >> >> >> > all.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I
even
> > say
> >> >> > that
> >> >> >> >> >> in English?)
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the
litteral
> >> >> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil
> > drilling
> >> >> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the
water
> > like
> >> > a
> >> >> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish
> > phrase
> >> >> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > oil slick n.
> >> >> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about
carpets.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular
> > layer
> >> > of
> >> >> > Math?)
> >> >>
> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are
in
> >> >> the wrong place...
> >> >
> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
> >>
> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
> >
> > Thingamajig.
>
> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.

That's what I said.

> >> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
> >> >
> >> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/
it.
> >> > *nods sagely*
> >>
> >> Depends.
> >
> > On what?
>
> On who you are.

So who would you have to be, for there to be something like it?

> >> >> >> and remember what I said
> >> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > No, what?
> >> >>
> >> >> Look above, would you?
> >> >
> >> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at
> > once,
> >> > but not about integrated weaponry.
> >>
> >> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
> >
> > Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?
>
> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it breaks
> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
> scanners... not really helpful.

....You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.

> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
Current'.
> >> > Whoever
> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
> >> > matching
> >> >> > pen
> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >> >> >
> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
> >> >> >
> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
> >> >
> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
> >>
> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
> >
> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
>
> Whatever.

Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not really
as good without the tunes.

> >> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed
> > title
> >> > for
> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
prophecy,
> >> > trying
> >> >> > to escape her fate?
> >> >>
> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy,
well, I
> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
> >> >
> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
> > gravitates
> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no
actual
> >>
> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
thing.
> >
> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
/against/
> > the thing. Sort of.
>
> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
> refer very well to a number of other things.

True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets automatically
assigned to Fate.

> >> > 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself
> > nearish
> >> > the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
> >> > of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...
> >>
> >> ::snickers::
> >> ::laughs::
> >> ROFL
> >> .
> >> .
> >> .
> >> later...
> >> Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.
> >
> > ...What?
>
> Sorry. I don't know if I even can write it that way,

Pity. Ah, well.

> but the way I
> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
> ::giggles::

*blank look*

....I don't get it.

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 22, 2004 4:11:30 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-21, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> What a dry reply.
>> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
>> >> >> Better, much better.
>> >> >
>> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the
> water
>> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
>> >>
>> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so... dusty?
>> >
>> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
>>
>> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
>> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
>
> Such as?

When I can't stand it anymore...

>> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>>
>> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as miserable as
>> posibble?
>
> You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
> miserable as posibble[sic]?

Oh, it already does that...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it again*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Huh?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
>> > sidetracked.
>> >> >> > BAH.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
>> >> >
>> >> > That's what you think...
>> >>
>> >> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
>> >
>> > Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*
>>
>> What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
>> InSaNe.)
>
> *great amusement* Hoowah!

Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the
> ice(water)
>> >> > from
>> >> >> > the
>> >> >> >> >> >> > freezer
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > and
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind of
>> >> > heating
>> >> >> >> > after
>> >> >> >> >> > all.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I
> even
>> > say
>> >> >> > that
>> >> >> >> >> >> in English?)
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the
> litteral
>> >> >> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil
>> > drilling
>> >> >> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the
> water
>> > like
>> >> > a
>> >> >> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what Enlgish
>> > phrase
>> >> >> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > oil slick n.
>> >> >> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about
> carpets.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a monomolecular
>> > layer
>> >> > of
>> >> >> > Math?)
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you are
> in
>> >> >> the wrong place...
>> >> >
>> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
>> >>
>> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
>> >
>> > Thingamajig.
>>
>> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
>
> That's what I said.

Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.

>> >> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
>> >> >
>> >> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing /like/
> it.
>> >> > *nods sagely*
>> >>
>> >> Depends.
>> >
>> > On what?
>>
>> On who you are.
>
> So who would you have to be, for there to be something like it?

Not me.

>> >> >> >> and remember what I said
>> >> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > No, what?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Look above, would you?
>> >> >
>> >> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons at
>> > once,
>> >> > but not about integrated weaponry.
>> >>
>> >> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
>> >
>> > Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?
>>
>> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it breaks
>> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
>> scanners... not really helpful.
>
> ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.

Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
manufacturers are the best as well...

>> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
> Current'.
>> >> > Whoever
>> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or a
>> >> > matching
>> >> >> > pen
>> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now! Listen...!
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
>> >> >
>> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
>> >>
>> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
>> >
>> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
>>
>> Whatever.
>
> Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not really
> as good without the tunes.

Music without music... no, thanks.

>> >> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the proposed
>> > title
>> >> > for
>> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate, quite
>> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
> prophecy,
>> >> > trying
>> >> >> > to escape her fate?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy,
> well, I
>> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>> >> >
>> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
>> > gravitates
>> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no
> actual
>> >>
>> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
>> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
> thing.
>> >
>> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
> /against/
>> > the thing. Sort of.
>>
>> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
>> refer very well to a number of other things.
>
> True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets automatically
> assigned to Fate.

It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit ambigious
in any case.

>> >> > 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals itself
>> > nearish
>> >> > the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
>> >> > of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...
>> >>
>> >> ::snickers::
>> >> ::laughs::
>> >> ROFL
>> >> .
>> >> .
>> >> .
>> >> later...
>> >> Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.
>> >
>> > ...What?
>>
>> Sorry. I don't know if I even can write it that way,
>
> Pity. Ah, well.

We'll see.

>> but the way I
>> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
>> ::giggles::
>
> *blank look*
>
> ...I don't get it.

You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I like
it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 23, 2004 1:13:34 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncfvbnj.1so.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x11.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-21, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> What a dry reply.
> >> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
> >> >> >> Better, much better.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the
> > water
> >> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
> >> >>
> >> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so...
dusty?
> >> >
> >> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
> >>
> >> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
> >> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
> >
> > Such as?
>
> When I can't stand it anymore...

Work upon your mind! Patience...

> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
> >>
> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as miserable
as
> >> posibble?
> >
> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
>
> Oh, it already does that...

That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do that?

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it
again*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Huh?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
> >> > sidetracked.
> >> >> >> > BAH.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > That's what you think...
> >> >>
> >> >> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
> >> >
> >> > Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*
> >>
> >> What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
> >> InSaNe.)
> >
> > *great amusement* Hoowah!
>
> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...

Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, that's why you should get the
> > ice(water)
> >> >> > from
> >> >> >> > the
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > freezer
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > and
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> close it afterwards. A freezer is a kind
of
> >> >> > heating
> >> >> >> >> > after
> >> >> >> >> >> > all.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods slightly* Sort of.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Exactly.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Physics!
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Maths!
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> pssst... don't wake it...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Don't wake what? Maths? Maths bubhosh! *nod nod*
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> The Math Carpet...
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...Is that some relation of our carpet?
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hard to tell... probably more like an oil carpet. (Can I
> > even
> >> > say
> >> >> >> > that
> >> >> >> >> >> >> in English?)
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Maybe; depends. What's an oil carpet?
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Nothing that I should use in English obviously. It's the
> > litteral
> >> >> >> >> >> translation of what I'd call the result of harveries of oil
> >> > drilling
> >> >> >> >> >> platforms and super tankers. You see, the oil lies on the
> > water
> >> > like
> >> >> > a
> >> >> >> >> >> kind of carpet - hence the name. I have no clue what
Enlgish
> >> > phrase
> >> >> >> >> >> correspondents to it, though.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Ah. Maybe an 'oil slick'.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > oil slick n.
> >> >> >> >> > a smooth patch of oil, esp. one on the sea.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Erm, yes, that'd be it. Although it obviously is not about
> > carpets.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a
monomolecular
> >> > layer
> >> >> > of
> >> >> >> > Math?)
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you
are
> > in
> >> >> >> the wrong place...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
> >> >>
> >> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
> >> >
> >> > Thingamajig.
> >>
> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
> >
> > That's what I said.
>
> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.

*snickers*

> >> >> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing
/like/
> > it.
> >> >> > *nods sagely*
> >> >>
> >> >> Depends.
> >> >
> >> > On what?
> >>
> >> On who you are.
> >
> > So who would you have to be, for there to be something like it?
>
> Not me.

Same here.

> >> >> >> >> and remember what I said
> >> >> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > No, what?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Look above, would you?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons
at
> >> > once,
> >> >> > but not about integrated weaponry.
> >> >>
> >> >> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
> >> >
> >> > Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?
> >>
> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it breaks
> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
> >> scanners... not really helpful.
> >
> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
>
> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
> manufacturers are the best as well...

....That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*

> >> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
> > Current'.
> >> >> > Whoever
> >> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or
a
> >> >> > matching
> >> >> >> > pen
> >> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now!
Listen...!
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
> >> >>
> >> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
> >> >
> >> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
> >>
> >> Whatever.
> >
> > Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not
really
> > as good without the tunes.
>
> Music without music... no, thanks.

You have a point.

> >> >> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the
proposed
> >> > title
> >> >> > for
> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate,
quite
> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
> > prophecy,
> >> >> > trying
> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy,
> > well, I
> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
> >> > gravitates
> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no
> > actual
> >> >>
> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
> > thing.
> >> >
> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
> > /against/
> >> > the thing. Sort of.
> >>
> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
> >
> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
automatically
> > assigned to Fate.
>
> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit ambigious
> in any case.

Hmm.

> >> >> > 'fate', and it's just a complicated thingamajig that reveals
itself
> >> > nearish
> >> >> > the end (or maybe around the middle) to be completely the opposite
> >> >> > of/from/[whatever] the readers expected it to be...
> >> >>
> >> >> ::snickers::
> >> >> ::laughs::
> >> >> ROFL
> >> >> .
> >> >> .
> >> >> .
> >> >> later...
> >> >> Erm, yes. Sorry, got carried away.
> >> >
> >> > ...What?
> >>
> >> Sorry. I don't know if I even can write it that way,
> >
> > Pity. Ah, well.
>
> We'll see.

*nods*

> >> but the way I
> >> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
> >> ::giggles::
> >
> > *blank look*
> >
> > ...I don't get it.
>
> You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
> written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I like
> it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.

Oh. *is very curious*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 23, 2004 10:21:25 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

On 2004-07-22, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
>> >> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> What a dry reply.
>> >> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
>> >> >> >> Better, much better.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as the
>> > water
>> >> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so...
> dusty?
>> >> >
>> >> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
>> >>
>> >> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
>> >> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
>> >
>> > Such as?
>>
>> When I can't stand it anymore...
>
> Work upon your mind! Patience...

Hey, *you* don't live on your own, do you?

>> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>> >>
>> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as miserable
> as
>> >> posibble?
>> >
>> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
>> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
>>
>> Oh, it already does that...
>
> That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do that?

::shrugs::
What's the difference? Doesn't make any...

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it
> again*
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Huh?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
>> >> > sidetracked.
>> >> >> >> > BAH.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > That's what you think...
>> >> >>
>> >> >> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
>> >> >
>> >> > Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*
>> >>
>> >> What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
>> >> InSaNe.)
>> >
>> > *great amusement* Hoowah!
>>
>> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
>
> Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?

I meant the "$*#&" part...

>> >> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a
> monomolecular
>> >> > layer
>> >> >> > of
>> >> >> >> > Math?)
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if you
> are
>> > in
>> >> >> >> the wrong place...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
>> >> >
>> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >>
>> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
>> >
>> > That's what I said.
>>
>> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.
>
> *snickers*

Well it *is*.

>> >> >> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing
> /like/
>> > it.
>> >> >> > *nods sagely*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Depends.
>> >> >
>> >> > On what?
>> >>
>> >> On who you are.
>> >
>> > So who would you have to be, for there to be something like it?
>>
>> Not me.
>
> Same here.

::nods::

>> >> >> >> >> and remember what I said
>> >> >> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > No, what?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Look above, would you?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of weapons
> at
>> >> > once,
>> >> >> > but not about integrated weaponry.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
>> >> >
>> >> > Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?
>> >>
>> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it breaks
>> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
>> >> scanners... not really helpful.
>> >
>> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
>>
>> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
>> manufacturers are the best as well...
>
> ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*

That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda empire...
think about it.

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
>> > Current'.
>> >> >> > Whoever
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines 'Or
> a
>> >> >> > matching
>> >> >> >> > pen
>> >> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now!
> Listen...!
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
>> >> >
>> >> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
>> >>
>> >> Whatever.
>> >
>> > Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not
> really
>> > as good without the tunes.
>>
>> Music without music... no, thanks.
>
> You have a point.

Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah, I
know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them any
less dots.)

>> >> >> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Sorry.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the
> proposed
>> >> > title
>> >> >> > for
>> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate,
> quite
>> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
>> > prophecy,
>> >> >> > trying
>> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The prophecy,
>> > well, I
>> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current' automatically
>> >> > gravitates
>> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's no
>> > actual
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing in
>> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
>> > thing.
>> >> >
>> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
>> > /against/
>> >> > the thing. Sort of.
>> >>
>> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
>> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
>> >
>> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
> automatically
>> > assigned to Fate.
>>
>> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit ambigious
>> in any case.
>
> Hmm.

Good 'Hmm.'?

>> >> but the way I
>> >> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
>> >> ::giggles::
>> >
>> > *blank look*
>> >
>> > ...I don't get it.
>>
>> You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
>> written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I like
>> it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.
>
> Oh. *is very curious*

As I said, sorry. No spoilers. Well, at least no more.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 23, 2004 8:03:10 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncg1bj7.3gt.the_emmel*whatever*@btcips73x12.cip.uni-bayreuth.de...
> On 2004-07-22, Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web> wrote:
> >> >> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> What a dry reply.
> >> >> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
> >> >> >> >> Better, much better.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as
the
> >> > water
> >> >> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so...
> > dusty?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
> >> >>
> >> >> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
> >> >> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
> >> >
> >> > Such as?
> >>
> >> When I can't stand it anymore...
> >
> > Work upon your mind! Patience...
>
> Hey, *you* don't live on your own, do you?

Bah. If I did, how would you know?

> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
> >> >>
> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
miserable
> > as
> >> >> posibble?
> >> >
> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
> >>
> >> Oh, it already does that...
> >
> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do that?
>
> ::shrugs::
> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...

Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that there isn't
one.

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Oh, damn. dollar
sign-asterisk-hash-ampersand
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > You mean $*#&?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Ah, I was just quoting... kinda.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > *amusement* Thought so.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, do you know *what* I was quoting?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > I can guess.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Guess in writing, then.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Trying to find it, but the server's down.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Hm, I don't think it had much to do with servers...
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Wrong. Oh, and that reminds me... *goes looking for it
> > again*
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Huh?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Servers back up. But archives too big, and we kept getting
> >> >> > sidetracked.
> >> >> >> >> > BAH.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> It really had *nothing* to do with servers...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > That's what you think...
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> I was the one who said it in the first place, you know.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Yes, I know. But it doesn't concern you any more. *imperious*
> >> >>
> >> >> What? Are you nuts? (OK, forget that question - we all know you are
> >> >> InSaNe.)
> >> >
> >> > *great amusement* Hoowah!
> >>
> >> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
> >
> > Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?
>
> I meant the "$*#&" part...

Oh, I see. Which game?

*had thought you were quoting Timulty, within Ozy & Millie*

> >> >> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a
> > monomolecular
> >> >> > layer
> >> >> >> > of
> >> >> >> >> > Math?)
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if
you
> > are
> >> > in
> >> >> >> >> the wrong place...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >>
> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
> >> >
> >> > That's what I said.
> >>
> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.
> >
> > *snickers*
>
> Well it *is*.

....Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?

> >> >> >> >> Still, nothing like getting your hands dirty.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Of course, there may be things /better/, but there's nothing
> > /like/
> >> > it.
> >> >> >> > *nods sagely*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Depends.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > On what?
> >> >>
> >> >> On who you are.
> >> >
> >> > So who would you have to be, for there to be something like it?
> >>
> >> Not me.
> >
> > Same here.
>
> ::nods::

Quite.

> >> >> >> >> >> and remember what I said
> >> >> >> >> >> about integrated weaponery above?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > No, what?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Look above, would you?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...I see you talking about trying to handle two types of
weapons
> > at
> >> >> > once,
> >> >> >> > but not about integrated weaponry.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> That's be 'other means of carrying'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Oh. Well, wouldn't it be fast and easy to use?
> >> >>
> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
breaks
> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
> >> >
> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
> >>
> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
> >
> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*
>
> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda empire...
> think about it.

How much do you know?

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
> >> > Current'.
> >> >> >> > Whoever
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines
'Or
> > a
> >> >> >> > matching
> >> >> >> >> > pen
> >> >> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now!
> > Listen...!
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
> >> >>
> >> >> Whatever.
> >> >
> >> > Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not
> > really
> >> > as good without the tunes.
> >>
> >> Music without music... no, thanks.
> >
> > You have a point.
>
> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah, I
> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them any
> less dots.)

Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*

(Hoowah playing with words!)

> >> >> >> >> >> Anyway, that doesn't really help, you know?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Sorry.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > ...And I just realized that your 'proposed title' was the
> > proposed
> >> >> > title
> >> >> >> > for
> >> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate,
> > quite
> >> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
> >> > prophecy,
> >> >> >> > trying
> >> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The
prophecy,
> >> > well, I
> >> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current'
automatically
> >> >> > gravitates
> >> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's
no
> >> > actual
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing
in
> >> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
> >> > thing.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
> >> > /against/
> >> >> > the thing. Sort of.
> >> >>
> >> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
> >> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
> >> >
> >> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
> > automatically
> >> > assigned to Fate.
> >>
> >> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit ambigious
> >> in any case.
> >
> > Hmm.
>
> Good 'Hmm.'?

Thoughtful 'Hmm.'.

> >> >> but the way I
> >> >> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
> >> >> ::giggles::
> >> >
> >> > *blank look*
> >> >
> >> > ...I don't get it.
> >>
> >> You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
> >> written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I like
> >> it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.
> >
> > Oh. *is very curious*
>
> As I said, sorry. No spoilers. Well, at least no more.

BAH!

....Wait a minute. What were the spoilers that I missed?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 24, 2004 11:39:01 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-07-23, illusion
<cdr9be$qh3$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
>> >> >> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> What a dry reply.
>> >> >> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside down::
>> >> >> >> >> Better, much better.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches as
> the
>> >> > water
>> >> >> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're so...
>> > dusty?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I just
>> >> >> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
>> >> >
>> >> > Such as?
>> >>
>> >> When I can't stand it anymore...
>> >
>> > Work upon your mind! Patience...
>>
>> Hey, *you* don't live on your own, do you?
>
> Bah. If I did, how would you know?

You'd recognize the necessity(sp?) to clean up now and again.

>> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>> >> >>
>> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
> miserable
>> > as
>> >> >> posibble?
>> >> >
>> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life as
>> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
>> >>
>> >> Oh, it already does that...
>> >
>> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do that?
>>
>> ::shrugs::
>> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
>
> Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that there isn't
> one.

Denied.

>> >> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
>> >
>> > Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?
>>
>> I meant the "$*#&" part...
>
> Oh, I see. Which game?
>
> *had thought you were quoting Timulty, within Ozy & Millie*

Nope.

>> >> >> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a
>> > monomolecular
>> >> >> > layer
>> >> >> >> > of
>> >> >> >> >> > Math?)
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if
> you
>> > are
>> >> > in
>> >> >> >> >> the wrong place...
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
>> >> >
>> >> > That's what I said.
>> >>
>> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.
>> >
>> > *snickers*
>>
>> Well it *is*.
>
> ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?

'Which'? Interesting...
And the answer to your question is... thingamajig!

>> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
> breaks
>> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any weapon
>> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
>> >>
>> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
>> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
>> >
>> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*
>>
>> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda empire...
>> think about it.
>
> How much do you know?

Enough.

>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
>> >> > Current'.
>> >> >> >> > Whoever
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
>> >> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
>> >> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's lines
> 'Or
>> > a
>> >> >> >> > matching
>> >> >> >> >> > pen
>> >> >> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now!
>> > Listen...!
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Whatever.
>> >> >
>> >> > Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're not
>> > really
>> >> > as good without the tunes.
>> >>
>> >> Music without music... no, thanks.
>> >
>> > You have a point.
>>
>> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah, I
>> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them any
>> less dots.)
>
> Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*

Erm...
::gives you an especially odd look::
You don't know many different species, do you?

> (Hoowah playing with words!)

Shall I kill you now or later?

>> >> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is appropriate,
>> > quite
>> >> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
>> >> > prophecy,
>> >> >> >> > trying
>> >> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The
> prophecy,
>> >> > well, I
>> >> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current'
> automatically
>> >> >> > gravitates
>> >> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless there's
> no
>> >> > actual
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of 'thing
> in
>> >> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at such a
>> >> > thing.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
>> >> > /against/
>> >> >> > the thing. Sort of.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it could
>> >> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
>> >> >
>> >> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
>> > automatically
>> >> > assigned to Fate.
>> >>
>> >> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit ambigious
>> >> in any case.
>> >
>> > Hmm.
>>
>> Good 'Hmm.'?
>
> Thoughtful 'Hmm.'.

And?

>> >> >> but the way I
>> >> >> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
>> >> >> ::giggles::
>> >> >
>> >> > *blank look*
>> >> >
>> >> > ...I don't get it.
>> >>
>> >> You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
>> >> written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I like
>> >> it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.
>> >
>> > Oh. *is very curious*
>>
>> As I said, sorry. No spoilers. Well, at least no more.
>
> BAH!
>
> ...Wait a minute. What were the spoilers that I missed?

Never mind.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 25, 2004 7:21:47 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncg5emf.102.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-07-23, illusion
> <cdr9be$qh3$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> >> >> >> >> >> > Ah. In short, we were amused.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> What a dry reply.
> >> >> >> >> >> ::get a bottle of waters, opens it and turns it upside
down::
> >> >> >> >> >> Better, much better.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > *shrugs* All a matter of personal preference... *watches
as
> > the
> >> >> > water
> >> >> >> >> > trickles toward the carpet, where it is quickly absorbed*
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Better than dusty carpets. I *hate* dusty carpets. They're
so...
> >> > dusty?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Eh. I leave dust alone, it leaves me alone...
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Unfortunately this doesn't work that well... there are times I
just
> >> >> >> *have* to bring the allmighty power of the holy vacuum apon it.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Such as?
> >> >>
> >> >> When I can't stand it anymore...
> >> >
> >> > Work upon your mind! Patience...
> >>
> >> Hey, *you* don't live on your own, do you?
> >
> > Bah. If I did, how would you know?
>
> You'd recognize the necessity(sp?) to clean up now and again.

BAH.

> >> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
> > miserable
> >> > as
> >> >> >> posibble?
> >> >> >
> >> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life
as
> >> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
> >> >>
> >> >> Oh, it already does that...
> >> >
> >> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do
that?
> >>
> >> ::shrugs::
> >> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
> >
> > Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that there
isn't
> > one.
>
> Denied.

By what authority?

> >> >> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
> >> >
> >> > Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?
> >>
> >> I meant the "$*#&" part...
> >
> > Oh, I see. Which game?
> >
> > *had thought you were quoting Timulty, within Ozy & Millie*
>
> Nope.

In any case, you should read it.

....I've already asked you whether you read/you've read MegaTokyo, right?

> >> >> >> >> >> > *nods* Quite. (And so... A Math Carpet might be a
> >> > monomolecular
> >> >> >> > layer
> >> >> >> >> > of
> >> >> >> >> >> > Math?)
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Well, more or less. But sticky in any case. And annoying if
> > you
> >> > are
> >> >> > in
> >> >> >> >> >> the wrong place...
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Really depends who's using it, then.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Yeah... don't remind me.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > That's what I said.
> >> >>
> >> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.
> >> >
> >> > *snickers*
> >>
> >> Well it *is*.
> >
> > ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?
>
> 'Which'? Interesting...

*curious* How so?

> And the answer to your question is... thingamajig!

Mu.

> >> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
> > breaks
> >> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any
weapon
> >> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
> >> >>
> >> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
> >> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
> >> >
> >> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*
> >>
> >> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda empire...
> >> think about it.
> >
> > How much do you know?
>
> Enough.

How do you know that?

> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> On different notes: proposed title is 'Against The
> >> >> > Current'.
> >> >> >> >> > Whoever
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> reads this, comment or hide well.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> > ...How nice.
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Being sarcastic?
> >> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > Less 'sarcastic', more 'dry'. Think Tom Lehrer's
lines
> > 'Or
> >> > a
> >> >> >> >> > matching
> >> >> >> >> >> > pen
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > and pencil!/Just the thing I need... how nice.'
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> ::reminds him that he doesn't really know Tom Lehrer::
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > You should. You really, /really/ should. GO! Now!
> >> > Listen...!
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> Lsiten? Erm, what were we talking about again?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > The songs of Tom Lehrer.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> ...which I dion't know. Ah, yes, that was it.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *hums 'It makes a fellow proud to be a soldier' to himself*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Whatever.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Go. Look them up on the Internet if you need to, though they're
not
> >> > really
> >> >> > as good without the tunes.
> >> >>
> >> >> Music without music... no, thanks.
> >> >
> >> > You have a point.
> >>
> >> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah, I
> >> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them any
> >> less dots.)
> >
> > Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*
>
> Erm...
> ::gives you an especially odd look::
> You don't know many different species, do you?

I lump goxmales and the like in the same category as females.

> > (Hoowah playing with words!)
>
> Shall I kill you now or later?

Any time suits us.

> >> >> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is
appropriate,
> >> > quite
> >> >> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
> >> >> > prophecy,
> >> >> >> >> > trying
> >> >> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The
> > prophecy,
> >> >> > well, I
> >> >> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current'
> > automatically
> >> >> >> > gravitates
> >> >> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless
there's
> > no
> >> >> > actual
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of
'thing
> > in
> >> >> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at
such a
> >> >> > thing.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
> >> >> > /against/
> >> >> >> > the thing. Sort of.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it
could
> >> >> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
> >> > automatically
> >> >> > assigned to Fate.
> >> >>
> >> >> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit
ambigious
> >> >> in any case.
> >> >
> >> > Hmm.
> >>
> >> Good 'Hmm.'?
> >
> > Thoughtful 'Hmm.'.
>
> And?

Mu!

> >> >> >> but the way I
> >> >> >> picture it the scene about the prophecy is just...
> >> >> >> ::giggles::
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *blank look*
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...I don't get it.
> >> >>
> >> >> You see, it's one of the parts I already have in mind (though not
> >> >> written up). And, probably it's just me, it's funny. In a way. I
like
> >> >> it, OK. It makes me laugh. Sorry.
> >> >
> >> > Oh. *is very curious*
> >>
> >> As I said, sorry. No spoilers. Well, at least no more.
> >
> > BAH!
> >
> > ...Wait a minute. What were the spoilers that I missed?
>
> Never mind.

BAH!

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 25, 2004 10:59:25 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-07-25, illusion
<ce0fls$gut$1$830fa17d@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncg5emf.102.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
>> >> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
>> > miserable
>> >> > as
>> >> >> >> posibble?
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic] life
> as
>> >> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Oh, it already does that...
>> >> >
>> >> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do
> that?
>> >>
>> >> ::shrugs::
>> >> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
>> >
>> > Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that there
> isn't
>> > one.
>>
>> Denied.
>
> By what authority?

Me.

>> >> >> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
>> >> >
>> >> > Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?
>> >>
>> >> I meant the "$*#&" part...
>> >
>> > Oh, I see. Which game?
>> >
>> > *had thought you were quoting Timulty, within Ozy & Millie*
>>
>> Nope.
>
> In any case, you should read it.

I tried once... and decided not to. And I think we had that conversation
before. Either that or a full blown deja vu.

> ...I've already asked you whether you read/you've read MegaTokyo, right?

Yes.

>> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > That's what I said.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that. Honestly.
>> >> >
>> >> > *snickers*
>> >>
>> >> Well it *is*.
>> >
>> > ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?
>>
>> 'Which'? Interesting...
>
> *curious* How so?

Well, I'd expected a 'who', but 'which'... interesting, especially
without 'one'.

>> And the answer to your question is... thingamajig!
>
> Mu.

Doesn't fit here.

>> >> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
>> > breaks
>> >> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any
> weapon
>> >> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
>> >> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
>> >> >
>> >> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant paranoia*
>> >>
>> >> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda empire...
>> >> think about it.
>> >
>> > How much do you know?
>>
>> Enough.
>
> How do you know that?

I'm emmel. I might have mentioned that before...

>> >> > You have a point.
>> >>
>> >> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah, I
>> >> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them any
>> >> less dots.)
>> >
>> > Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*
>>
>> Erm...
>> ::gives you an especially odd look::
>> You don't know many different species, do you?
>
> I lump goxmales and the like in the same category as females.

Erm... do that... (WTH are you talking about in any case?)

>> > (Hoowah playing with words!)
>>
>> Shall I kill you now or later?
>
> Any time suits us.

Stupid answer.

>> >> >> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is
> appropriate,
>> >> > quite
>> >> >> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against the
>> >> >> > prophecy,
>> >> >> >> >> > trying
>> >> >> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
>> >> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The
>> > prophecy,
>> >> >> > well, I
>> >> >> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right now.
>> >> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current'
>> > automatically
>> >> >> >> > gravitates
>> >> >> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless
> there's
>> > no
>> >> >> > actual
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of
> 'thing
>> > in
>> >> >> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at
> such a
>> >> >> > thing.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning... going
>> >> >> > /against/
>> >> >> >> > the thing. Sort of.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it
> could
>> >> >> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
>> >> > automatically
>> >> >> > assigned to Fate.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit
> ambigious
>> >> >> in any case.
>> >> >
>> >> > Hmm.
>> >>
>> >> Good 'Hmm.'?
>> >
>> > Thoughtful 'Hmm.'.
>>
>> And?
>
> Mu!

Ah. So?
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 26, 2004 7:03:22 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncg80o8.3rg.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-07-25, illusion
> <ce0fls$gut$1$830fa17d@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> > news:slrncg5emf.102.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> >> >> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
> >> > miserable
> >> >> > as
> >> >> >> >> posibble?
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic]
life
> > as
> >> >> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Oh, it already does that...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do
> > that?
> >> >>
> >> >> ::shrugs::
> >> >> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
> >> >
> >> > Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that
there
> > isn't
> >> > one.
> >>
> >> Denied.
> >
> > By what authority?
>
> Me.

Denied. (And are you claiming that you are an authority, or that you have
authority? If the latter, it would be 'Mine.'.)

> >> >> >> Anyway, I was in fact quoting a game...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Which game? And did it have the alternating capitals?
> >> >>
> >> >> I meant the "$*#&" part...
> >> >
> >> > Oh, I see. Which game?
> >> >
> >> > *had thought you were quoting Timulty, within Ozy & Millie*
> >>
> >> Nope.
> >
> > In any case, you should read it.
>
> I tried once... and decided not to. And I think we had that conversation
> before. Either that or a full blown deja vu.

Oh.

> > ...I've already asked you whether you read/you've read MegaTokyo, right?
>
> Yes.

*starts to speak, stops* Do you read/have you read it?

> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > That's what I said.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that.
Honestly.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > *snickers*
> >> >>
> >> >> Well it *is*.
> >> >
> >> > ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?
> >>
> >> 'Which'? Interesting...
> >
> > *curious* How so?
>
> Well, I'd expected a 'who', but 'which'... interesting, especially
> without 'one'.

Strange. 'one' would be optional...

> >> And the answer to your question is... thingamajig!
> >
> > *bonk*
>
> Doesn't fit here.

You're right. Please ignore it.

> >> >> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
> >> > breaks
> >> >> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any
> > weapon
> >> >> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
> >> >> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant
paranoia*
> >> >>
> >> >> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda
empire...
> >> >> think about it.
> >> >
> >> > How much do you know?
> >>
> >> Enough.
> >
> > How do you know that?
>
> I'm emmel. I might have mentioned that before...

Maybe that's just what they WANT you to think! *paranoia*

> >> >> > You have a point.
> >> >>
> >> >> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah,
I
> >> >> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them
any
> >> >> less dots.)
> >> >
> >> > Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*
> >>
> >> Erm...
> >> ::gives you an especially odd look::
> >> You don't know many different species, do you?
> >
> > I lump goxmales and the like in the same category as females.
>
> Erm... do that... (WTH are you talking about in any case?)

*snickers*

....You should read Sluggy Freelance.

http://www.sluggy.com

> >> > (Hoowah playing with words!)
> >>
> >> Shall I kill you now or later?
> >
> > Any time suits us.
>
> Stupid answer.

Ask a stupid question...

> >> >> >> >> >> >> > the story. *considers* Assuming the title is
> > appropriate,
> >> >> > quite
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > revealing... Laiva eventually starts working against
the
> >> >> >> > prophecy,
> >> >> >> >> >> > trying
> >> >> >> >> >> >> > to escape her fate?
> >> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> >> Nah, more against peoples habits and predjudices. The
> >> > prophecy,
> >> >> >> > well, I
> >> >> >> >> >> >> love that part, but it's be foolish to tell you right
now.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Hmm. Well... the overriding meaning of 'current'
> >> > automatically
> >> >> >> >> > gravitates
> >> >> >> >> >> > to 'destiny' when there's a prophecy involved. Unless
> > there's
> >> > no
> >> >> >> > actual
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Yeah, but there's more than a prophecy. I more thought of
> > 'thing
> >> > in
> >> >> >> >> >> general'. But it surely is not a bad thing if it points at
> > such a
> >> >> >> > thing.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > Eh. But 'against the current' has a specific meaning...
going
> >> >> >> > /against/
> >> >> >> >> > the thing. Sort of.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Yup. I just said it doesn't have to be the *phrophecy*, but it
> > could
> >> >> >> >> refer very well to a number of other things.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > True, but when there /is/ a prophecy, the term 'current' gets
> >> >> > automatically
> >> >> >> > assigned to Fate.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> It's a question of POV, really. And it can't hurt to be a bit
> > ambigious
> >> >> >> in any case.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Hmm.
> >> >>
> >> >> Good 'Hmm.'?
> >> >
> >> > Thoughtful 'Hmm.'.
> >>
> >> And?
> >
> > Mu!
>
> Ah. So?

What?

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
Anonymous
July 27, 2004 12:01:55 AM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

And when it was 2004-07-26, illusion
<ce32va$m30$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> news:slrncg80o8.3rg.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
>> And when it was 2004-07-25, illusion
>> <ce0fls$gut$1$830fa17d@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
>> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
>> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
>> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
>> > news:slrncg5emf.102.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
>> >> >> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
>> >> > miserable
>> >> >> > as
>> >> >> >> >> posibble?
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your pity[sic]
> life
>> > as
>> >> >> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Oh, it already does that...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to do
>> > that?
>> >> >>
>> >> >> ::shrugs::
>> >> >> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
>> >> >
>> >> > Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that
> there
>> > isn't
>> >> > one.
>> >>
>> >> Denied.
>> >
>> > By what authority?
>>
>> Me.
>
> Denied. (And are you claiming that you are an authority, or that you have
> authority? If the latter, it would be 'Mine.'.)

I *am* an authority. OK, that's getting redicules(sp?)...

>> > ...I've already asked you whether you read/you've read MegaTokyo, right?
>>
>> Yes.
>
> *starts to speak, stops* Do you read/have you read it?

::p oints to groups.google.com::

>> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
>> >> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > That's what I said.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that.
> Honestly.
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > *snickers*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Well it *is*.
>> >> >
>> >> > ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?
>> >>
>> >> 'Which'? Interesting...
>> >
>> > *curious* How so?
>>
>> Well, I'd expected a 'who', but 'which'... interesting, especially
>> without 'one'.
>
> Strange. 'one' would be optional...

Hm...

>> >> >> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if it
>> >> > breaks
>> >> >> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any
>> > weapon
>> >> >> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
>> >> >> >> >
>> >> >> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon manufacturers.
>> >> >> >>
>> >> >> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the scanner
>> >> >> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
>> >> >> >
>> >> >> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant
> paranoia*
>> >> >>
>> >> >> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda
> empire...
>> >> >> think about it.
>> >> >
>> >> > How much do you know?
>> >>
>> >> Enough.
>> >
>> > How do you know that?
>>
>> I'm emmel. I might have mentioned that before...
>
> Maybe that's just what they WANT you to think! *paranoia*

You can take paranoia a bit too far. You went far too many bits too
far...

>> >> >> > You have a point.
>> >> >>
>> >> >> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah, yeah,
> I
>> >> >> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them
> any
>> >> >> less dots.)
>> >> >
>> >> > Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*
>> >>
>> >> Erm...
>> >> ::gives you an especially odd look::
>> >> You don't know many different species, do you?
>> >
>> > I lump goxmales and the like in the same category as females.
>>
>> Erm... do that... (WTH are you talking about in any case?)
>
> *snickers*
>
> ...You should read Sluggy Freelance.
>
> http://www.sluggy.com

Maybe I should read the archives... can't remember when *that* was the
toppic.

>> >> > (Hoowah playing with words!)
>> >>
>> >> Shall I kill you now or later?
>> >
>> > Any time suits us.
>>
>> Stupid answer.
>
> Ask a stupid question...

No, thanks. Works better if I try not to.
--
emmel <the_emmel*you-know-what-that's-for*@gmx.net>
(Don't forget to remove the ** bit)

Official AGC feedback maniac

"God is playing creatures - and we're the norns."

"A hundred dead are a tragedy - a hundred thousand are statistics."

"I guess you can call yourself lucky." -
"I could, but Linda suits me a little better... :) 
Things called lucky tend to get hit by trucks."

Hi, I'm a .sig virus. Just copy me to your .signature. And don't worry.
Anonymous
July 27, 2004 4:42:54 PM

Archived from groups: alt.games.creatures (More info?)

"emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
news:slrncgaopc.1qe.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> And when it was 2004-07-26, illusion
> <ce32va$m30$1$8302bc10@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> > news:slrncg80o8.3rg.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> >> And when it was 2004-07-25, illusion
> >> <ce0fls$gut$1$830fa17d@news.demon.co.uk> was created,
> >> stating that Refractor Dragon <wanderer@beeb.web>
> >> uttered in alt.games.creatures:
> >> > "emmel" <the_emmel*whatever*@gmx.net> wrote in message
> >> > news:slrncg5emf.102.the_emmel*whatever*@storm.mlnet...
> >> >> >> >> >> > Do unto dust as thou wouldst have it do unto thee!
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> So I should assault it constantly and make its pity life as
> >> >> > miserable
> >> >> >> > as
> >> >> >> >> >> posibble?
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > You want it to assault you constantly and make your
pity[sic]
> > life
> >> > as
> >> >> >> >> > miserable as posibble[sic]?
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Oh, it already does that...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > That's not the question. The question is, do you /want/ it to
do
> >> > that?
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> ::shrugs::
> >> >> >> What's the difference? Doesn't make any...
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Bahh. Just because you can't see a difference doesn't mean that
> > there
> >> > isn't
> >> >> > one.
> >> >>
> >> >> Denied.
> >> >
> >> > By what authority?
> >>
> >> Me.
> >
> > Denied. (And are you claiming that you are an authority, or that you
have
> > authority? If the latter, it would be 'Mine.'.)
>
> I *am* an authority. OK, that's getting redicules(sp?)...

'ridiculous'.

> >> > ...I've already asked you whether you read/you've read MegaTokyo,
right?
> >>
> >> Yes.
> >
> > *starts to speak, stops* Do you read/have you read it?
>
> ::p oints to groups.google.com::

*looks... gets
http://www.google.com/groups?q=MegaTokyo+group:alt.game...
and
http://www.google.com/groups?q=MegaTokyo+group:alt.game...
before he finds the relevant thingamajig*

Ahh.

In short...

[despicable and even less rational than normal]
Do you have the second book? Most notably, the Endgames: Presence section
that cannot be found online? If so, is there some shameful way that you
may transfer the data contained therein to my computer? (No idea if there's
anything else in the second or first book that can't be read online... what
I don't know about can't stretch my spirit on the proverbial rack... *plugs
ears*)
[/despicable]

> >> >> >> >> >> > Thingamajig.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> No, not really. More like 'lots of work to do'.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > That's what I said.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Wasn't. Thingamajig is too... thingamajig to express that.
> > Honestly.
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > *snickers*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Well it *is*.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > ...Which of us knows more about the 'Thingamajig!'?
> >> >>
> >> >> 'Which'? Interesting...
> >> >
> >> > *curious* How so?
> >>
> >> Well, I'd expected a 'who', but 'which'... interesting, especially
> >> without 'one'.
> >
> > Strange. 'one' would be optional...
>
> Hm...

Hm.

> >> >> >> >> >> No, it would be hard to install, annoying to service and if
it
> >> >> > breaks
> >> >> >> >> >> you are on your own. And of course you'll always set up any
> >> > weapon
> >> >> >> >> >> scanners... not really helpful.
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> > ...You need to get in touch with better weapon
manufacturers.
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> Oh, I have contact to the best. The problem is that the
scanner
> >> >> >> >> manufacturers are the best as well...
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> > ...That's what they WANT you to think! *actually relevant
> > paranoia*
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> That's what the owner says. And the owner is the Mu-lam'bda
> > empire...
> >> >> >> think about it.
> >> >> >
> >> >> > How much do you know?
> >> >>
> >> >> Enough.
> >> >
> >> > How do you know that?
> >>
> >> I'm emmel. I might have mentioned that before...
> >
> > Maybe that's just what they WANT you to think! *paranoia*
>
> You can take paranoia a bit too far. You went far too many bits too
> far...

Bah. A little trust can go a long way; the less you use, the further you'll
go.

> >> >> >> > You have a point.
> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> Oh I have many. There, another one. Oh, another! Shiny! (Yeah,
yeah,
> > I
> >> >> >> know they are actually called periods, but that doesn't make them
> > any
> >> >> >> less dots.)
> >> >> >
> >> >> > Erm, only females have periods. *looks at you oddly*
> >> >>
> >> >> Erm...
> >> >> ::gives you an especially odd look::
> >> >> You don't know many different species, do you?
> >> >
> >> > I lump goxmales and the like in the same category as females.
> >>
> >> Erm... do that... (WTH are you talking about in any case?)
> >
> > *snickers*
> >
> > ...You should read Sluggy Freelance.
> >
> > http://www.sluggy.com
>
> Maybe I should read the archives... can't remember when *that* was the
> toppic.

Bahh.

http://sluggy.com/daily.php?date=030809

> >> >> > (Hoowah playing with words!)
> >> >>
> >> >> Shall I kill you now or later?
> >> >
> >> > Any time suits us.
> >>
> >> Stupid answer.
> >
> > Ask a stupid question...
>
> No, thanks. Works better if I try not to.

Fair enough. *nods*

--
The Triad
User of 'Thingamajig!'
Refractor Dragon -=(UDIC)=-
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