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Why it's great to be Souf Efrikan

Forum Old Man/Woman's Club : Other - Why it's great to be Souf Efrikan

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Vokofpolisiekar   07-11-2007 at 08:58:00 AM

South Africa

:o

This is a great country because:
1. You can eat half dried meat and not be considered disgusting.
2. Nothing is your fault, you can blame it all on apartheid.
3. You get to buy a new car every 3 months and the insurance company even pays for it.
4. You can experience kak service in eleven official languages.
5. Where else can you get oranges with 45% alcohol content at rugby matches?
6. It's the only country in the world where striking workers show how angry they are by dancing and singing.
7. You're considered clumsy if you cannot: use a cell phone (without car kit), change CDs, drink a beer, put on make-up, read the newspaper and smoke, all at the same time while driving a car at 160 kph in a 60 kph zone.
8. Great accent. (!!!)
9. If you live in Johannesburg, you get to brag about living in the most dangerous city in the world.
10. Burglar bars become a feature, and a great selling point for your house.
11. You can decorate your garden walls with barbed wire.
12. The tow-trucks are the first on the scene for most major crimes, without being called. The police you have to call about three times.
13. Votes have to be recounted until the right party wins.
14. Illegal immigrants leave the country because the crime rate is too high.
15. The police ask you if they must follow up on the burglary you've just reported.
16. When a murderer gets a 6 month sentence and a pirate TV viewer 2 years.
17. The prisoners strike and get to vote in elections!
18. The police stations have panic buttons to call armed response when they are burgled
19. Police cars are fitted with immobilisers and gearlocks!

A little off the wall chuckle. It's really not that bad here, altho the lions in the garden can be pesky at times.. And our booze is dirt cheap.

Message quoted 1 times
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mugz   07-11-2007 at 11:06:52 AM
- 0 +

Just keep half a sheep in the fridge for the cats. With a bit of patience they actually become pretty good for keeping the bergies away.

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
Vokofpolisiekar   07-11-2007 at 06:02:02 PM
- 0 +

Don't start with the bergies hey. We get lots of Capetonians (no offence meant) up here in MP with the amount of work available. They rock up here, don't get jobs and then flood the local shops going: "nay broer, het jhy nie vi my R5 nie???".

When I stop in town, I get tackled by 5 beggars before I even get close to the shop (10m away) - minus car watchers.

Is this something common found in other places of the world??

Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
BomberBill   07-12-2007 at 04:29:47 AM
- 0 +

RE: Vok.

A very good South African mate of mine from university is desperate to leave the country. He lives in J Burg and the crime alone has seen his eldest brother murdered and his mother held-up at gun point.

My mate is a black South African who came over here on a sports and academic scholarship (cricket), and I feel for the bugger because he's very fair in analysing the history of the country and what that means for present day S.A. When he first came to Aus a decade ago he couldn't believe how developed certain aspects of our civil society were. My mate's family is not well-to-do and I don't know if he'll ever be able to emigrate.

In reading some of his emails regarding the crime over there I'm constantly shocked at how hard core it is.

He was wary of partying with white fellas when he first started out on residence but we broke down those perceived barriers soon enough and it was all good. He even fell in love with a hot Aussie chiccy but there was no way she was moving to SA; all her family being here, etc.

I've come to know plenty of white SA people (some who've moved here permanently, or holidayed here), and they've all said that it's not the nicest of places to live -- to put it lightly.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
BomberBill   07-12-2007 at 04:37:41 AM
- 0 +

To elaborate a little on that last paragraph: don't get me wrong, they've all stated the wonderful and amazing aspects of the country. I've been privy to some wild comments made, but nothing that is downright racist, as such. That's from both blacks and whites.

But all have chorused that the crime and economy are huge issues for the government to sort out.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
mugz   07-12-2007 at 10:03:58 AM
- 0 +

Cape Town has improved somewhat in the past year or so, but large cities and crime just seem to go together. I prefer to live in a smaller town and commute in, for the peace and quiet.

Jo'burg is a bastard when it comes to crime, though. The few times I've been up there have been... interesting, to say the least.

If you consider the racism angle, the past 13 years have proven that a lot of black people can be (and are) as racist as their white counterparts. Personally, I feel that skin colour is a bloody stupid interview criterion.

Actually, the importance attached to skin colour in most arenas is bloody stupid. Mainly due to the impact on the economy, and it opens the door for 'hate' crimes.

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
turpit   07-13-2007 at 12:06:13 AM
- 0 +

THERES A UNIVERSITY THAT GIVES SCHOLARSHIPS FOR KRIKKET?????? :ouch:

Sweet mother of Jebus, whats next, scholarships for parchisi?


Message edited by turpit on 07-13-2007 at 12:06:41 AM
------------------------------ http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/turpit/SIG2A.jpg
 Reply to turpit
BomberBill   07-13-2007 at 01:05:29 AM
- 0 +

The scholarship was business sponsored; the university simply provided for his education.

RE: Mugzy.

Yeah. I can see your points. I believe there's quite a few echoing those sentiments.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
mrface   07-13-2007 at 02:19:29 AM
- 0 +

Quote :

My sig is now rooted! [/laments]

[b:d416fec6fb][color=GREEN:d416fec6fb] CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY! [/color:d416fec6fb] [/b:d416fec6fb][b:d416fec6fb]
[color=red:d416fec6fb]Diggin' it:HardHouse[/color:d4



hey bomber;
try this sig and see if that works. ;)
just view BBcode to pull it.

------------------------------------------
My sig is now rooted! [/laments]

CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

------------------------------ "For years my dad struggled with alcoholism, I have perfected it."
"Lonely once the drugs are gone, I feel like..."
Roll Tide!

 

Reply to mrface

BomberBill   07-13-2007 at 04:00:43 AM
- 0 +

Thanks mate. How did you do that?

I got Rise to help me also by sending me instructions on how to fix it. I'm such a gubber when it comes to this shite.

But my statement to Toms management remains the same nonetheless: if it's difficult/cumbersome for average joe users of computers like me, then people inevitably lose interest.

For experienced guys, I understand, it's a piece of cake. But if it's about them ever expanding their reader/user base, then I sincerely believe they need to redress these new board formats. I've offered as much feedback in the appropriate forum.



------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
Vokofpolisiekar   07-13-2007 at 08:00:51 AM
- 0 +

Re: Bomber

Look, South Africa is quite hardcore. My mom has been held at gun point, my little brother attacked twice. Hell, one of the guys that worked here was found in his car's boot after being reported missing. But, I still love the country and the nature side of things.The real burning issue is the amount of engineers we are loosing. With alot of people migrating, the country is slowly loosing the the core of the economy.

But in saying hardcore, it's still a lovely place. People are friendly (except Jhb) and things are not always as bad as it seems over the news. I guess each country has a downside, ours are just more pronounced with the history of racism and the "apartheid" years - something the new generations have to pay for even though they had sweet bugger all to do with it.



Message quoted 1 times
Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
BomberBill   07-13-2007 at 08:35:34 AM
- 0 +

That's a fair assessment of yours, mate. The "brain drain" will become an issue, for sure.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
Vokofpolisiekar   07-13-2007 at 09:04:39 AM
- 0 +

And I hate Australia. It's so damn hard to beat you at cricket..... hehe. No really, big respect to Australian cricket. Just wish Shaney could stick around longer - there will never be a leg spinner with his abilities... I'll never forget the Graham Gooch bowled round the legs introduction.


Message edited by Vokofpolisiekar on 07-13-2007 at 09:06:09 AM
Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
mrface   07-13-2007 at 09:11:20 AM
- 0 +

My sig is now rooted! [/laments]

CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

------------------------------ "For years my dad struggled with alcoholism, I have perfected it."
"Lonely once the drugs are gone, I feel like..."
Roll Tide!

 

Reply to mrface

JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 11:13:05 AM
- 0 +

Code :
  1. My sig is now rooted!  [/laments]
  3. [b][#00B24C] CRACK A :)  AND SEIZE THE DAY! [/#00B24C] [/b][b] 
  4. [#CC0033]Diggin' it: [url=http://www.hhukrecordings.co.uk/]HardHouse[/url][/#CC0033][/b]


There you go Bomber. Copy and paste that for your sig.

If you want to see how something was done, click on the little paper w/ the two eyes on it for the post. Roughly in the middle above the post.

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
BomberBill   07-13-2007 at 11:32:16 AM
- 0 +

Thanks to Rise, Phukky and Jef. It takes the brains of 3 mates to make up for one brainless convict's inability to modify basic code in a sig. lol. :D

Thanks again.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
BomberBill   07-13-2007 at 11:35:46 AM
- 0 +

Can I make it bigger? I tried the ole [size=24][/size] thing but that was no good.

------------------------------ CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill
JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 12:12:01 PM
- 0 +

Test
Apparently that's as big as it will go. Size=4
I also noticed back to back backwards bold tags (/b then b), which is unnecessary. I think with just the larger size you won't need the bold, so here's some options for you. Copy and paste, change the font size. I did one for bold, one without it.

:lol:

No bold:

Code :
  1. [size=4][#00B24C] CRACK A :)  AND SEIZE THE DAY! [/#00B24C]
  2. [#CC0033]Diggin' it: [url=http://www.hhukrecordings.co.uk/]HardHouse[/url][/#CC0033][/size]


With bold:

Code :
  1. [size=4][#00B24C] [b]CRACK A :)  AND SEIZE THE DAY! [/#00B24C]
  2. [#CC0033]Diggin' it: [url=http://www.hhukrecordings.co.uk/]HardHouse[/url][/b][/#CC0033][/size]




Size = 4
CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

Size = 4 + bold
CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

Size = 3
CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

Size = 2
CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

Size = 2 + bold
CRACK A :) AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
mugz   07-13-2007 at 02:16:33 PM
- 0 +

+1 Sig Hacker to Jef, PhukFace and riser.

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 02:56:34 PM
- 0 +

YAY!

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 02:57:45 PM
- 0 +

Boo! Why is my whole sig not showing up?

HELP!

Bonus:
+2 cunning linguist
+10 pedantry
+1 observation
+1 hindsight
+1 sig hacker

OK, apparently there's a 4 line limit to sigs...


Message edited by JustPlainJef on 07-13-2007 at 02:58:59 PM
------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
mugz   07-13-2007 at 03:35:22 PM
- 0 +

Now why didn't I think of that?

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 03:44:23 PM
- 0 +

...*bows to the sarcastic, quick-witted Mugz*...

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
mugz   07-13-2007 at 04:19:58 PM
- 0 +

Are you now saying 'Here Wingy Wingy...'?

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
JustPlainJef   07-13-2007 at 04:25:26 PM
- 0 +

Hell no!

...*bow is plenty over, stands up*...

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
mugz   07-13-2007 at 04:39:28 PM
- 0 +

That was quick.

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
turpit   07-13-2007 at 11:19:10 PM
- 0 +

Vokofpolisiekar wrote :

Re: Bomber

Look, South Africa is quite hardcore. My mom has been held at gun point, my little brother attacked twice. Hell, one of the guys that worked here was found in his car's boot after being reported missing. But, I still love the country and the nature side of things.The real burning issue is the amount of engineers we are loosing. With alot of people migrating, the country is slowly loosing the the core of the economy.

But in saying hardcore, it's still a lovely place. People are friendly (except Jhb) and things are not always as bad as it seems over the news. I guess each country has a downside, ours are just more pronounced with the history of racism and the "apartheid" years - something the new generations have to pay for even though they had sweet bugger all to do with it.



Whats the going wages for a ME over these days? Worth the risk? Are you allowed to carry for self defense?

------------------------------ http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/turpit/SIG2A.jpg
 Reply to turpit
Vokofpolisiekar   07-14-2007 at 04:53:16 PM
- 0 +

Turpit:

You lost me there with your question (only got in 5am this morning and my head is pounding).

ME wages?

Self defence: if a burglar breaks into my house, i'm not allowed to shoot at him until he has shot at me or given reason for me to doubt my own safety. Even then it's still open season as to whether the court will support this. Pretty FUBAR if you ask me - what if his first shot kills me? Pretty daft hey?

To compound the situation: My uncle and his family was attacked in their house a month ago - group of 3 thugs. They told my uncle that if he did anything they would rape his wife and daughter. They didn't, but not everyone is so lucky. They rape your wife infront of you to break the core of you as a man, and 90% of them (thieves/murderers etc) have got AIDS.

Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
turpit   07-14-2007 at 09:25:26 PM
- 0 +

ME = Mechanical Engineer

------------------------------ http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/turpit/SIG2A.jpg
 Reply to turpit
turpit   07-15-2007 at 04:36:24 AM
- 0 +

The laws in the US regarding self defense vary by state. Sataes like Florida and Texas give the individual a great deal of latitude IRT defending themselves. Other states, not so much

------------------------------ http://i249.photobucket.com/albums/gg233/turpit/SIG2A.jpg
 Reply to turpit
Vokofpolisiekar   07-15-2007 at 10:34:09 AM
- 0 +

Re: Turpit

ME: They get pretty good wages if you find the correct company. Same with Civil. I'm a Systems Engineer, so I'm middle of the pile... :heink:

With regards to self defence: I dont know how it pans out in the rest of the world, but here the criminals that rob people have no regard for human life. They will kill you for a cellphone.

My view, is that if said criminal is in my house it can't be a mistake or misunderstanding for him being there with the amount of protection (burglar bars / security gates) I have (he had to make some effort to get in). As such, it's tresspassing and a breach of my safety. First shot will be warning and the next will be to kill.

Message quoted 1 times
Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
Tom_Smart   07-15-2007 at 01:13:47 PM
- 0 +

Here in the UK our self defence laws are aided by the fact that if they can't find the body it's difficult to charge you with anything!!!!!

Reply to Tom_Smart
Vokofpolisiekar   07-15-2007 at 02:34:39 PM
- 0 +

:sol:

Same here... Or illegal gun, which you so happened to get off him before he tried to shoot you even tho it's your gun...

Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
mugz   07-16-2007 at 11:34:11 AM
- 0 +

What I'm considering doing from the crime/break-in angle is putting motorised metal shutters on all windows and doors, and a gas-drop system in the roof with something (unfortunately) non-lethal. Sucker(s) break into my house, they're stuck and unconscious until the cops arrive.

Will kinda suck if I'm also in the house at the same time, though. Although what I'd do is let the bugger get in, let the house trap him, then knock him over the head, toss him in the boot and drive out somewhere remote. Then drive back, with the stunned scumbag left in some remote location with multiple blunt traumas. [/vindictive]

Right now if someone breaks in, well... ask me after it's happened.

I've been bloody lucky thus far...

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
Tom_Smart   07-16-2007 at 11:45:52 AM
- 0 +

***breaks in and steals mugz's security system***

Reply to Tom_Smart
mugz   07-16-2007 at 12:32:54 PM
- 0 +

*sigh* There goes the insurance...

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
Vokofpolisiekar   07-16-2007 at 04:07:06 PM
- 0 +

I was going to jump in and say that I've also been extremely luc... But fock that shyte, bad mojo. Where's a piece of wood when I need one? O ja, touch my head (not that one, the other one)... :heink:

Reply to Vokofpolisiekar
mugz   07-17-2007 at 10:52:02 AM
- 0 +

I've usually got a piece of wood not too far from my mouth most of the time.

Message quoted 1 times
------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
WingDing   07-17-2007 at 10:55:52 AM
- 0 +

Quote :

I've usually got a piece of wood not too far from my mouth most of the time.



Yeah. Wingding wood... :ange:

Reply to WingDing
mugz   07-17-2007 at 11:18:44 AM
- 0 +

*replaces pipe*

*mysteriously disappears* [/close call]

------------------------------ http://www.catb.org/~esr/faqs/smart-questions.html - I WISH PEOPLE WOULD APPLY THIS!
 Reply to mugz
JustPlainJef   07-17-2007 at 11:39:09 AM
- 0 +

mugz wrote :

I've usually...most of the time.


"60% of the time, it works every time!' [/Not Too OQ]

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
 Reply to JustPlainJef
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