If you want to run your ram at a lower speed and tighter timings, then you should switch the divider to 1:1 instead of 4:5. At 1:1, your ram would be running at 712Mhz (356x2) at 356 FSB.
SPD will work fine if you aren't worried about getting the tightest timings, but you should definitely be able to set them manually and get the system to boot as long as you're within your ram's range. For example, I am able run my ram at 385 FSB with a 4:5 divider, manual timings (5-5-5-15) @ 960Mhz.
That being said, there is an issue with getting the system to post at higher FSB, even if you've let loosened the timings. This is because we can't change the tRD and tRFC timings in the BIOS (like you can on the P5B for example). This can limit what the system will boot at. Basically the idea is that you will need to loosen tRFC to 35 or 42, and tRD to 7 (or 8 if you are pushing higher FSB's). The reason it will work with SPD enabled is because the system will automatically loosen those timings based on what speed the chip is booting at. Here's the entire thread:
http://www.xtremesystems.org/forums/showthread.php?t=111400
You can use MemSet to do this once you are in Windows. The idea is that you boot at a lower FSB, then tweak the timings in Windows with MemSet, and then continue to ramp up the FSB speeds using ClockGen or SysTool.