Brett and Gaz at the beachouse

Crikeys. I've just come off a 3 day bender that would tear most men asunder -- lol. But talk about funny. I just had to put this down.

So I met these two sheilas down at the pub the other night when I walked down there to buy a bottle of rum. I walked into the bar and the lads are all around the big screen watching the game and there were a few local tarts in the joint but in the corner were these two nice looking ladies quaffing wine. I asked Gary (my mate Gaz) if any of the blokes had talked to them and he gave me the usual crap about the guys not having bothered to make introductions. Fock that! I walked straight up and said G'dday and struck up a convo. It was cool -- they were nice chicks. I tell them that I'm up for partying and they inform me that they are too and that they had Friday off from work and felt like doing something. Sweeeet! So I was logged on here and they came around at 10 am and Gaz and I went with them to their beach house that they rent down on the coast.

So we've got this shindig going down at their place and it's like 11am and we're all drunk and off our heads on pills. They're in bikinis and they're nice looking -- not super fit and not glamours but really nice nonetheless. Gorgeous to Gaz and I, they were. We go for a swim and then head back up to the joint for more refreshments and we're sitting around talking about odd subjects like Victorian period Art and the like (Shelley was a arts major at uni), and the conversation was pretty light until Rachael asked us straight up if we were "adventurous". Gaz is loaded so he says "hell yeah!" and these two chicks tell us that they dig a bit of S & M. Now, I'm not a fan of this kind of stuff but these chicks were pretty excited about getting into a little dominant sex -- that is to say, dominating Gaz and I in the bedroom. Ropes, scarves, lingerie, high heels the whole fockin' works. Gaz can hardly contain his excitement as this is a first for both of us; I was a little less enthused but still up for it. I mean, who wouldn't want to give it a go? I didn't have a problem with them doing the dominating but I have strong views about it going the other way so I agreed to it providing they didn't want Gaz and I to get rough (some women, I've heard, don't mind it but I don't dig strong-arming women in the bedroom, no matter if they get off on it or not).

So they're pretty stoked by this stage and they both disappear to their respective bedrooms to get changed. Well fock me! They come out in the full dominatrix get-ups: latex, stockings, garters, high heels; the fockin' works. ROFL! Gaz is fockin' thrilled out of his brain and I was absolutely impressed at how spectacular these ladies looked. They did this dance for us as we sat back on the lounge and truly, it was pure bliss. It's midday by this stage and both Gaz and I are ready to do whatever they want. Full on, it was unreal.

So Racheal takes Gaz to her room and Shelley picks me and we wander off into her abode. I'm pretty far gone by this stage but had enough brains left to be at least aware of the nature of what we were doing there. They seemed like sweet chicks but you never know...

An hour into it with Shelley and she's got me tied up on the bed with my arms tied to the bedposts and we've been doing some pretty naughty **** to each other and it's going sweet! All of a sudden I hear this muffled masculine fockin' scream from the other room and I said to Shelley: "Fock me! Rachel must be ripping into Gaz!" Like, it was loud, but I didn't think too much of it. Then, this long, muffled, bellow comes from the room with Gaz letting out muffled profanities at the top of his lungs -- or so I thought. I fockin' freak out, rip the bonds off the bed posts and do the naked dash into the next room to make sure Gaz isn't copping a blade in the guts or something.

I get in there and here's Rachel working furiously on Gary's ropes: she's got him naked, hogtied and trussed up like a stuck pig on a big chair face-down, with her evidently having been working on him for some sexual maneuvers. He's got a tie in his mouth and tears coming from his eyes and Rachel tells me that she's desperately trying to untie these heavy knots that she's done (I mean, she was smashed like the rest of us so the knots are all focked up -- lol).

I rip the gag in Gaz's mouth off and he screams on word: "CRAMPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

LMAO

The fockin' guy's calves and hamstrings had completely frozen on the poor bugger -- seriously fockin' painful. I could see the muscles having freezed up on him. The poor bastard was absolutely frozen in the legs and the knots on the bonds were too much to break.

I ran to the kitchen, picked up a sharp knife and ran back and cut the bonds. The relief for Gaz was truly unbelieveable. He was laughing at how good it felt to relax his muscles.

He looked up to Rachel and said as quick as a flash: "Darl, how about we don't do that particular move again?" We all burst out laughing and Gaz stretched out his cramps. But by the gods, it was so funny to have seen him trussed up like that. He later told me that he absolutely wanted Rachel to do it all to him and I was crying laughter at his shenanigans.

It was a tremendous 48 hours with me having just gotten home here an hour ago -- absolutely wasted -- lol. I really dug Shelley too and Gaz and Rachel got on well so we're thinking of getting something steady going. lol. Just no more hogties for Gaz.

Fock it was funny though.

I'm off to die in bed for a couple of days...

Great time had by all.

Oh, mate!

Such a classic!

2 of the best days of my life.

lol

I got a message on my mobile from Gaz saying he was as sore as fock but was keen to get it going with the lasses again. I love it.

I'll take orders from babes all day if they're willing to dress up and play up like that.

I'm half dead though. lol

Work in the morning labouring for a construction crew; it ain't much but i need the cash.

PS: I can't wait to be at the pisser next and tell the lads about Gaz's fine effort. He'll be focking spewing!

Sweeeeet! Will do. How old is that thread? Before my time? I can't remember so I'm assuming it is.

Gaz is a good bloke and I played footy with him. He's pretty taken by this Rachael chick. He was Dave's good mate also but didn't handle his demise at all well. Bit of a tragedy as they were both set for big things before things derailed on separate issues.

I only started hooking up with him after I moved back up here. lol. Silly nutter that he is.

I've just PM'd you my feeling on that score. I'm considering a change of user name to avoid Rob's taunting. I don't usually do retreat nor surrender but I've a feeling this might be a good time to start. Worse thing is that the excitement of a point from Anfield never killed that twat Bruce.

Looks like Arsenal are doing more than just keeping the top slot warm I'm a happy bunny

Keep dreaming Tom

It's going to be nice to see you being good to Mikey

The last wager around here went awry...... [snicker]

He did take it well... Got some good belly laughs from it!!!!

Good to see you're not a lampshade Bomber..

I still have the dancing chicken. Still have the title too.

I need to wager a new bet on something and punish someone else this time.

Wasn't it KingLoftus who was pushing Rutgers? Maybe I can make a bet against them or something.

I don't want to encourage you.

That day that happens Coors will become the world's best beer.

I'm half tempted to see if Wingding's wife would finance TV's trip here just to spite riser.

Who? Me or Wingy's wife?

Fixed.

Riser reads beer labels.

OK, that is true.

And do you all then sit around talking about your boyfriends?

Console them with sympathy sex, not to be confused with your surprise sex.

I'm up for a shot at him...

I miss my ex, but my aim is getting better, so I'll keep using him for target practice

No-more-nails bomb keep the tw@t still

so you give sympathy first and then take advantage of a vulnerable girl, nice [/sarcasm]

Thanks Tom!