Gold Digger on CraigsList

Quoted from another site:

Quote :

This has been going around. My g\f told me about it this weekend and now even Howard Stern had a comment on it.

The reply is great!

------------------------
THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG'S LIST

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful)
25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.

I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least
half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a
year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

- What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my feelings

- Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain?
I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly
wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village.
What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor.
How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the
hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

---------------

THE ANSWER

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into perpetuity...in fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.

Classic "pump and dump."

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

My thoughts?

Spot on.

I am wondering about the validity of the whole thing, or if this is a woman trying to write a book or something to be put on a Lifetime Special.

I like the depreciating asset part, and if she had any sense she would not try to play cat-and-mouse with only good looks. She has not said what HER job is, who she knows, or anything else. She wants him to take care of her. Buy her.

If she actually had some other goal besides just getting cash from her new man, like starting a buisness, finishing a degree, whatever, I think it would be much more passible. But the fact that she has no other assets than what the guy responding called "depreciating" I think she is screwed.

Repeatedly.

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

ye, i've seen this already, can't quite believe it is true but on the other hand it seems the culture nowadays where style over substance is the important thing.

------------------------------ I'm a git, deal with it.

Antec 1200,PC Power & Cooling 750,Gigabyte DS4-x48,Intel Q9550@3.4 W/Xigmatek S1283,8GB OCZ DDR2 800,ATI 4870X2,X-FI>CA 640C amp>Tannoy R300/Senn 595's
Reply to strangestranger

Fcuk it. I meet those girls all the time.

Reply to riser

Do they ask you the same thing? I can just see it.

Beautiful girl "Hey Riser, do you know anybody with money?"
Riser "Yes, my friend's dad. He lets me use his country club for the same deal you're looking for"

Message edited by Tom_Smart on 10-08-2007 at 10:21:16 PM

Reply to Tom_Smart

You never talk about your friends to leases. Duh.

I was out Saturday night and.. its odd to say, but the place I went was loaded with 19-23 yr olds.. some were good looking too.

They walk into a bar, start playing the stupid video thing and all crowd around it.. after about 15 minutes no one buys them a drink, plenty of people try chatting them up. They didn't order any drinks and left.

I was finishing up my drink and watching the last few of the OSU game.. went to my friend's house where we lined up a couple girls to play beer/shot pong with us.

6 cups each, 2 beers on our side. Girls were pouring 3/4th a shot in each of their cups. Needless to say they were both fcuked up. It was all looking good until one ran out and knocked on the neighbor's door at 4:30 asking for a cigarette. Guy is a big time drug dealer. He walked into the apartment and we were bsing with him. Wasn't a guy I wanted to mess with.. especially after he was telling us how last week he was shooting at.. I forget the word he used but his 'main' person selling whatever the hell his slang was for his stuff. He's moving $7k -$10k a day and the person started skimming off him. So he went after her and tried shooting her. He didn't say what happened after that and trailed off into how his sister was over for a party and he had to get back.

Reply to riser

Anyone shifting 7-10K a day with a jaw that slack is a disaster waiting to happen. Slot the fcuker yourself before it gets messy.

Reply to Tom_Smart

I'm surprised the guy is still alive the way he runs around.. he's not doing the running. He has people doing it for him according to him. By the looks of it, he had the money. What I can figure out is why he wouldn't pick a better complex to live in. But then everyone knows that apartment complex has the stuff. He covers areas of Detroit and rich people. He seemed personable so someone with money would probably take to him more than some ghetto slang tossing moron.

Reply to riser

So who's going to set themselves up as our local pimp? I've got two available for lease, at least after I've persuaded them to sign some contracts...

------------------------------ The thought occurs that if I lived in a universe where merely knowing something will get me sucked into an alternate dimension and munched, I won't even live long enough to be cloned.
Reply to Mugz

RE: NH.

Was that a spoof thread? I was actually laughing at the two responses because of how absolutely ridiculous both parties were; that is to say, that I felt it had to be a gag thread, one that was probably written by the guy for laughs.

Frankly, she's a shallow, narrow-minded narcissist and he's a pompous and condescending business man. Horrendously, the subject matter reads like the atrocious business proposal that it is, and at least he has the coconuts to call it that.

Where is the humanity in that thread? If those two people are actual people with real lives, then what does that say about the post-modern plight of our species? How disgusting is it that a "coming together" of two people is played out like a business acquisition -- one that is a nasty and inhumane boardroom romp? It's focking disgraceful that two people could have that mindset.

Sure, if it's a gag thread and the two are playing then that's a trifle funny; his response does hold some candor within, for sure. But if they're serious about responding in kind to one another like that, then I'm appalled.

I don't live in some fantasy land whereby I believe people should only get married/together for humane and romantic reasons -- far from it, I assure you -- but the notion of people marrying and building a life together based upon meaningless and shallow perspectives about what each party "can bring to the proverbial business table" outrages my sensibilities.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ CRACK A AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill

Stern is trying to get her on the show to see if she is in fact, "spectacularly beautiful." I doubt she'll compare favorably to the chicks he usually has on his show.

------------------------------ +35 Wingding approval points +10 Scouse approval +22 Mammary Manipulation
+5 Comedy +15 Belated Holy Points +5 Messianic Approval + 5 penile innovation
+13 Baked Ham creativity +65 Obscure Quote

Reply to KingLoftusXII

BomberBill wrote :

I don't live in some fantasy land whereby I believe people should only get married/together for humane and romantic reasons -- far from it, I assure you -- but the notion of people marrying and building a life together based upon meaningless and shallow perspectives about what each party "can bring to the proverbial business table" outrages my sensibilities.

Brett, you do usually get together with someone, be it your friends or romantic partners, because of what the other can bring to the table. It's usually not phrased like that, but if the "business partner" doesn't offer anything in return, be it money or laughs or knowledge that you need but don't have, then the partnership won't work. My wife brought two kids to the table, which I wasn't looking for. But the other things she had to offer made me accept her entire proposal and enter into a business proposition with her. Granted, I never put it quite that romantically to her, but you get the idea.

If my friends had nothing to offer, not even as someone who is fun to be around, then I wouldn't have them as friends. When I have a car problem, I know which friend I have to call, as that is one of the things he brings to the table. When my family has a medical question, I call another friend. I don't call my medically-inclined friend when I need to swap my engine, just as I wouldn't go to the water cooler when I need to make copies.

Look at NH. What does he bring to the table? A 12 year old mentality. Hence, his lack of friends here.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

Yep, that's it JPJ.

I come here just for your razor like wit (which somehow does not tickle TS's 'fancy').

Oddly enough, the only thing worth trading for it is what I have been giving.

I was all out of "nothing" so I resorted to some leftover "12 year old mentality". I believe you could use the upgrade, so it was my duty to provide!

BB, "spoof" meand gag. Lampooning. Farce. It usually means an exaggeration of a subject for the purposes of humor.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

At least Jef brings something with him.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"[/Chris Knight]
You know what ole Jack Burton says at a time like this? Ole Jack says...what the hell[/Jack Burton]

This forum format sucks. Bring back the old one.
Reply to Anoobis

@Ninj

'I come here just for your razor like wit (which somehow does not tickle TS's 'fancy').'

You seem confused, it's your wit I find dull. Jef and a lot of others here are fun to chat with.

Message quoted 1 times

Reply to Tom_Smart

Anoobis wrote :

At least Jef brings something with him.

If only the women said the same thing.....

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

Tom_Smart wrote :

@Ninj

'I come here just for your razor like wit (which somehow does not tickle TS's 'fancy').'

You seem confused, it's your wit I find dull. Jef and a lot of others here are fun to chat with.

You would find anything that was not bending you over and crying for your mother dull.

I never knew so many men 'tickled' your 'fancy' there Tom.

Not that there is anything wrong with that. :whistle:

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

There is a lot you don't know.

Reply to Tom_Smart

Odd.

In science, it is widely known that the more someone knows, the more they realize how little they know.

Now, in your case, it must just be blind arrogance. You are so full of yourself, you do not even know which ass to pat!

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

I'm not arrogant, though I am certain you are stupid.

Reply to Tom_Smart

I am flattered that you would spend so much time trying to humiliate someone you keep caling stupid.

Quite frankly, that is stupid.

Monkey see, monkey do?

(Speaking of which, what happened to our favorite chimp-boy?)

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

I've not heard from Chris in a while either. I hope he's found a better job and just too busy. That or he's gone postal and slaughtered his management team.

Reply to Tom_Smart

He didn't live in Cleveland did he?

Reply to riser

Last I got from him was that he was getting hammered with calls at his current place, but that was 2 weeks ago.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, "I drank what?"[/Chris Knight]
You know what ole Jack Burton says at a time like this? Ole Jack says...what the hell[/Jack Burton]

This forum format sucks. Bring back the old one.
Reply to Anoobis

JustPlainJef wrote :

Brett, you do usually get together with someone, be it your friends or romantic partners, because of what the other can bring to the table. It's usually not phrased like that, but if the "business partner" doesn't offer anything in return, be it money or laughs or knowledge that you need but don't have, then the partnership won't work. My wife brought two kids to the table, which I wasn't looking for. But the other things she had to offer made me accept her entire proposal and enter into a business proposition with her. Granted, I never put it quite that romantically to her, but you get the idea.

If my friends had nothing to offer, not even as someone who is fun to be around, then I wouldn't have them as friends. When I have a car problem, I know which friend I have to call, as that is one of the things he brings to the table. When my family has a medical question, I call another friend. I don't call my medically-inclined friend when I need to swap my engine, just as I wouldn't go to the water cooler when I need to make copies.

Look at NH. What does he bring to the table? A 12 year old mentality. Hence, his lack of friends here.

Ok, Jef. Mate, I understand what you're saying: that there are realities in relationships whereby prospective partners do look at what their partner can provide etc..

I understand that.

But I have to say I disagree with your perspective regarding it. I'll tell you with full candor: I've never looked at a potential partner and thought about what she can "bring to the table"; what she can provide for in the relationship. And it's not just because I see wild women these days -- I've been in two serious conventional relationships as a younger man -- and not once did I approach the relationship thinking about what she could provide and what I could provide for her. And yes, marriage was discussed, and yet still I didn't think about material mutual benefit coming from it.

That's just my way of thinking. I understand and respect what you're saying, but I truly disagree entirely with the approach. I'm just saying, without deriding what you're saying, that that approach does not work for me.

------------------------------ CRACK A AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill

ninjahedge wrote :

Yep, that's it JPJ.

I come here just for your razor like wit (which somehow does not tickle TS's 'fancy').

Oddly enough, the only thing worth trading for it is what I have been giving.

I was all out of "nothing" so I resorted to some leftover "12 year old mentality". I believe you could use the upgrade, so it was my duty to provide!

BB, "spoof" meand gag. Lampooning. Farce. It usually means an exaggeration of a subject for the purposes of humor.

I know what it means, mate. Jesus. Did you actually answer my question? Is the thread you've threaded here a spoof thread? Or was it two legitimate participants discussing the issue?

------------------------------ CRACK A AND SEIZE THE DAY!
Diggin' it: HardHouse E2D wrote: Enjoy yourself.

(Enjoy others too, if you get the chance.)
Reply to BomberBill

BomberBill wrote :

I'll tell you with full candor: I've never looked at a potential partner and thought about what she can "bring to the table"; what she can provide for in the relationship.

BS. You might not think of it as "bringing something to the table", but there HAS to be something there to pique your interest.

Let's take the wild ones... Imagine if they had said "Hey boys, do you want to come back to our place for a night of Yatzee and Monopoly, with some herbal tea thrown in as well, and at the end of the night, we will say goodbye with a nice handshake and never see each other again?" Hell no. "One night stand with two smokin hot girls who are into a bit of the rough stuff?" FOCK YEAH!

Now let's look at the "conventional relationships". I'm going to have to guess here as I didn't know you back then, but it's likely going to be something like this...

If you were caught by her looks and pursued her, than I'm done, as she had looks. So let's go another way. Someone you knew from work. You saw her day in and day out. Spectacular? Hardly. But very nice. Good conversation, good sense of humor, liked some of the same foods as you. You come to realize that you really enjoy her company, and decide to make it a bit more serious.

You have to realize that this is a much easier decision than someone that you worked with who was polar opposite as far as food / religion / musical tastes / friends / TV etc, but still not ugly. You may be able to tolerate talking to each other at work, but if you try to move it a little farther, you have to see that it's not going to work for long. She's bringing nothing to the table.

Would you get into a relationship with a nympho stripper with those tastes / beliefs? Maybe, as she has a little more to offer. But the plain Jane in the office? Not likely.

Message edited by JustPlainJef on 10-12-2007 at 02:28:22 PM

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

ninjahedge wrote :

If only the women said the same thing.....

I don't have to. I show up naked, I leave happy.

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

JustPlainJef wrote :

I show up naked, I leave happy.

And that's why you're not allowed back in that library any more.

------------------------------ +46.53 Pedantry/+75 Wingding Approval/+27 Vindictive bastard/+7 innovative violence/+11 Scouse trophies/Bastages WD:9 RC:4 AV:1 [specials; cluster:2,leather elbow patched:1,pre-approved:3,first class (upgrade):1,multi-thread:1,double-barrel:1]
Reply to llama_man

+2 I set myself up for that one, didn't I?

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

Bomber, gotta go with Jef on this one.

You have to find someone who offers you something in return. They have to compliment certain aspects of you and you them.

If she has a good personality, better than average, that is bringing something to the table. In the letter above, she brings her looks.

There has to be something she brings to the table as you have to bring something to the table. She's going to look at you and ask what you can offer her.

Remember that chick from Cali you were hanging about with? She brought a cool personality and did what you liked to do. She brought somethign to the table there. Except her friends were no good.

Everyone brings something to the table. Tom, a bottle of Stella and a guitar.

What makes you stand out? What makes them stand out from the rest?

5 cars, 4 red, 1 blue. You go for the blue.

Reply to riser

Other people have tried setting you up in the past, but for some reason it never quite works out....

/NC

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

They only joke because they're jealous of me.

I have no problem picking'em up. The problem is finding one that brings something to the table.

I was chatting one up last night but I was told she's a huge drama queen. She walked away for a minute one of her girlfriends said, while she was cool, she was always complaining and bringing **** up about something small and pointless. Go figure, she was 21.. but fcuking hot. She said I was cute... if I were dating her friend.

Reply to riser

Actually Rise, that was more for JPJ, but if you want it, you can take it!

------------------------------ Mmmmmmmm...Beer.......
Reply to ninjahedge

I'm rambling. Its cool. I got my new blackberry curve today so I'm playing with that now.

Reply to riser

'You have to find someone who offers you something in return.'

Given you have nothing to offer, I'd say you're doomed.

Reply to Tom_Smart

Anoobis wrote :

Last I got from him was that he was getting hammered with ~~calls at his current place, but that was 2 weeks ago.~~ the dog ugly wenches of Manchester

Fixed.

------------------------------ I've been an 8bit baby, a 16bit teenager, a 32bit student and now find myself as 64bit middle aged fart. Moores the pity.
Reply to audiovoodoo

Quote :

Last I got from him was that he was ~~getting hammered with calls at his current place, but that was 2 weeks ago. the~~ dog ugly

Fixed properly.

Message edited by Tom_Smart on 10-15-2007 at 04:52:59 AM

Reply to Tom_Smart

Quote :

Last I got any play from him ~~was that he was getting hammered with calls at his current place, but that was 2 weeks ago.~~ he was still dog ugly!

Fixed more properly.

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

Quote :

Last I got any play from him was that he was getting hammered with calls at his current place, but that was 2 weeks ago. he was still dog ugly! And it's o-tay!

Added some reassurance in there.

Reply to riser

That you think he's cute? Shocking.

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

Yes.. being this dog ugly I am one sick puppy..

------------------------------ I've been an 8bit baby, a 16bit teenager, a 32bit student and now find myself as 64bit middle aged fart. Moores the pity.
Reply to audiovoodoo

Ugly, but your transport could save the planet.

Reply to Tom_Smart

I was waiting for someone to do that...

+5 better late than never bonus

Rode in to work today as I was running late for the special bus. Went for it on the way back and managed an average of 16mph over the full route. 29mins for a 7.5 mile trip through the early part of rush hour. Got home a good 25 mins faster than I do on the bus. If I lost the bag and racks I reckon I could get the magic 20 average over that route.

I'm putting in ~100 miles a week at the minute and plan to up the distance. If I dont get a job sorted January might yet be a month on the bike round Spain.

I find it fixes my head better than some of the other things I was using although fast ride out quick smoke and then blast back works VERY well

------------------------------ I've been an 8bit baby, a 16bit teenager, a 32bit student and now find myself as 64bit middle aged fart. Moores the pity.
Reply to audiovoodoo

Are you flying high or low when you come back?

------------------------------ The thought occurs that if I lived in a universe where merely knowing something will get me sucked into an alternate dimension and munched, I won't even live long enough to be cloned.
Reply to Mugz

Not really sure.. I'm breathing heavier than wingys wife after a good stabbing of her chocolate starfish though..

Message quoted 1 times

------------------------------ I've been an 8bit baby, a 16bit teenager, a 32bit student and now find myself as 64bit middle aged fart. Moores the pity.
Reply to audiovoodoo

audiovoodoo wrote :

Not really sure.. I'm breathing heavier than wingys wife after a good stabbing of her chocolate starfish though..

Wow this one screams quotable material... Bravo...Bravo

Hello, lvdax.

------------------------------ The thought occurs that if I lived in a universe where merely knowing something will get me sucked into an alternate dimension and munched, I won't even live long enough to be cloned.
Reply to Mugz

Hello Jebus!

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

Hello, Homer.

------------------------------ The thought occurs that if I lived in a universe where merely knowing something will get me sucked into an alternate dimension and munched, I won't even live long enough to be cloned.
Reply to Mugz

[annoyed grunt]

------------------------------ No more promise no more sorrow,
No longer will I follow.
Can anybody hear me?
I just want to be me.
Reply to JustPlainJef

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