performance evaluation bullets

Subject: Employee performance comments


1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom. And he has started to dig."
2. "I would not allow this employee to Breed."
3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be."
4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."
5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."
9. "This employee is depriving a village of its idiot."
10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all together."
12. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."
15. "He's been working with glue too much."
16. "He would argue with a signpost."
17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."
20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
21. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."
24. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."
25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
26. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
28. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
29. "One neuron short of a synapse."
30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."
32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

I've worked with people like that.

I scored 29 out of a possible 32, do I get a prize?

Why are you posting Riser's CV?

Any nose candy from www.bombayhookersarse.co.uk?

I can feel another domain name being registered in the name of the Other...

WTF?!?!?

Yeah, it didn't take very long. I'm not as thick as Riser.

I was waiting for a comment about that.

My brother says I'm built like a tuna can down there. I'm only an inch long, but I've got more girth than most can handle.

EDIT: This is just a running joke and is in no way based in reality.

Number 4!

Hilarious! lol

Trips KL as he swings

*twice*

***strolls over, beer in hand, and bangs heads together***

That's for fighting like girls.

OMG. You run like a girl too.

Sorry your Mum is a little...Oh yes, just there, busy at the moment.

Now that's not even hygienic.....

[/Sits in corner crying]

This weekend was very energetic and fun.

On top of a mountain.

I feel like a yeti.

What's that smell?

Yes. James Brown.

Snoop Dogg is in the house.

You feel like a mythic, overgrown, bi pedal Llama?

Fixed.

You've got to be able to put your EE skills into this one Mugz.. Turbo Edition??

** Offers up sloppy tech testing bonus **

** Amends bonus to 'Pustulated tech testing' **