ok phuk this sh!t

Your mums crabs?

Do i detect the slightest hint of sarcasm?

just piss on it.(only joking, don't be cruel to creatures)

*sidles up to the chimp to show some love*

Fock me, Phuks. That thing looks like something out of Alien 3. Don't tell me that sh*t is for real. Really?

That is the baddest mofo of a creature I've ever seen. And look at it spread forth its minions/underlings/offspring.

Flame-thrower for me, bro. Burn those fockers, I say!

spiders are fun especially when you wake up and **** like that on the **** ceiling.

tell you what, thats a better wake-me-up than any cup of joe i have ever had.

Just remember it takes 2 of those big spiders to make all those little ones.

You know where the 500 are. Where's the other big one?

I wish my missus would eat her mate [/depressed]

My suggestion: Get a big phuking hammer and go to town.

edit: I hate spiders with a passion. Can you tell?

I never said I was afraid of them, I just said I hate them.

That and I just like hitting things with hammers. Good for stress relief.

I also have one for gmail, comcast and my college. The AOL one is the oldest and the one I check the least so if it gets spammed, I don't give a ****.

how mature of you.

Have those new felt shapes not reached you yet?

** Calls Jef to get latest tracking update **

Congradulations on the birth of your offspring. I trust your wife came through the birthing well?

Gee, thanks, Face. Now half my coworkers are convinced I'm some kind of freak.

I mean, my immediate reaction of 'aww, cute! Come look at this! Aren't they adorable?' didn't exactly go down well.

I get rain spiders, some of them reaching about 15cm across, on my ceiling fairly often. Much easier to get used to, since their broods normally appear in a nest in a bush out in the garden somewhere...

Fair enough..

** Redircts package to Ditry Barry **

They might as well get used..

Poor DB.. its a COD job

I hope those are safety scissors!

So Spidermans mother died in childbirth then.

Its a wonder you have not died all these years living with a prick broken off in your ass Tom/ I hear your father walked funny for years.

Good evening Tom Smart

Perhaps I can now try the legendary mating of a Chunt Funter with a Coco the Clown.

Hope this helps.

Wingding.

Good morning tom...

May I remind you that I have the ability to hold down a pertol station job on a Saturday night, I am able to tie my own shoe leaces, I can write with a pen and use joined up writing.

What can you do you manc?

Hope you shave off your feet.

Oh my....an island love fest brewing. You boys gonna need some vaseline?

** Hurls poop of rage over the Pennines **

If that chunt makes one more insinuation that Tom is a Manc I might have to form the other side of the tag team..