Halloween Moan

Pics of wife?

Oh and somehow inducing projectile vomiting or explosive diarrhea might work.

Mentioning how hot all the other women and/or men are going to look in comparison to her might help.

Breaking limbs is an extreme option as is mentioning that there is far too much work in the kitchen to be done for her to unchained from the sink.

Before leaving the house masturbate furiously in front of her spraying your wad all over the walls... hang on, that only works for Spiderman outfits

There's no way out of this. If there were, you'd already have exercised the right that the one who wears the pants in the house has.

But okay, get a custom Batman suit that has a sleazy S&M theme.

haha, nice one! I think im going for a combination.
Ill start by punching her in the throat twice, while telling her how hot everyone else will be. Im NOT putting on a bat woman suit thats just wrong on so many levels..

To be honest, if I did any of this stuff, Id have to be Batman himself to survive the consequences, better still Keith Ledger. Now you see it, now you dont... tadaaaa! I love that bit

How about just pretending im ill, without the projectile vomit or actually having to smother myself in my own ***?

pictures? can you actually post rude things in here? hehe

You can post whatever the hell you want, an example.

Christ knows, the guy is a tw@t. Even by scottish standards.

Very low ones, but still we do have them.

I am indeed a hairy cross dressing scotsman.

Nope, can't say I have.

I'm an ugly bastard though so that might not help me.

If you're offering, I can blindfold and tie you up.

Just post some pics first.

Ha...not so fast...why do YOU get do the tying?
And, for that matter...I'd have to see some pics of what awaited me before I consented to any such debauchery...

Not safe for anyone to look at...including wingdings.

Please think before asking when a zippy is lurking.

Shave her MooseKnuckle.

So I've heard.

I was just laboring under the assumption that deranged perverts wouldn't ALSO be lying con artists... I'm apparently thoroughly disillusioned. Whatever happened to honor among rogues?

Pfft

"I'm SEXY!!!!"

You might have a point...unless you're so horribly disfigured that you slobber and cluck when you're excited...
Because I'd be able to hear that...and I am very sensitive to sound...

I believe it's sold over the counter in many Manchester drinking dens under the names 'Cheeky Vimto' and 'Jagger Bomb', often administered to poor unsuspecting chimps by fat slappers from Salford

If a cadaver is all you're interested in...I'm sure SOMEONE on the forums could help arrange such a thing.

Of course...his absence is somewhat unsettling...perhaps his mild-mannered alter ego snapped and he is now roaming the streets in full-fledged Mr. Hyde form...

/shudder