Archived from groups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon (More info?)
A fluffy, chubby Houndour pup happily follows her brand new Trainer and his
girlfriend down the streets of Saffron City, wagging her tail as she takes
in the sights of the big city. Having spent the first few weeks of her life
as electrical energy stored in a computer, she's very much enjoying the
sights and sounds around her. She gazes up at the skyscrapers, sniffs the
pavement below from time to time, and barks at fellow pedestrians to greet
them. All the while, she's trying to make out what the black-haired human
who's now her Trainer is discussing with his girlfriend, despite the fact
that she doesn't understand their language.
"C'mon, Rilli! Give Houndour a chance," Robert tells Mithril-rama, who's a
bit concerned about the Pokemon her boyfriend recently received in exchange
for his Charizard, "I promise to take good care of her by doing all the
Houndour maintenance that Zafiro told me to do! Well, the stuff I actually
remember, anyway. I'll walk her, and feed her, and clean up after her, and
"Just like you do with Aron?" Mithril-rama asks, sarcasm apparent in her
tone. "I don't mind taking care of your baby Aron for you, but you know Fire
Pokemon freak me out a little. Besides, even if Houndour wasn't a Fire Type,
two baby Pokemon is a heavy load for just one person. Especially when one
weighs over a hundred pounds."
"Yeah, but we're two people! I won't neglect my adorable Houndour, I
promise! How could anyone NOT want to take good care of this cute little
puppy? Just look at her..." Robert gestures to the street behind him and
sweatdrops when he sees that his new Pokemon isn't there.
Mithril-rama looks past Robert to see his Houndour barking at a Growlithe
standing next to a tall, thin man outside a shoe store. She shakes her head
and asks, "You were saying something about not neglecting your Houndour?"
She then points at the Fire Pokemon to inform her boyfriend where his puppy
ran off to.
The moment Robert turns his attention to where Rilli's pointing, he
exclaims, "Wait right here, Rilli! I'll go get him right now!" He then runs
towards the man outside the shoe store, who has thinning blond hair and is
wearing business attire. As Robert arrives at his destination, he calls out
to the thin man, "Hey, I'm sorry that my Houndour's bothering your
Growlithe! I just noticed she wandered away from me!"
"You'd better be careful," the man warns Robert the moment the Trainer
reaches his Houndour and hefts the puppy into his arms, "If this city's
anything like Goldenrod, it probably has leash laws. Most big cities do.
Except Mauville City, in Hoenn. They pretty much let anything slide there,
or so I've heard."
Looking down at the man's Growlithe, Robert points out, "But your Growlithe
doesn't have a leash..."
"Right," says the man in his thirties, "But I'm trying to save up money.
It's bad enough I had to buy new shoes. The last thing I need is to spend
more money on a leash." After letting out a small sigh, he adds, "Besides,
if I bump into a police officer, my Growlithe not being on a leash would be
the least of my problems."
"Huh?" Robert asks, "What do you mean?"
Realizing now he shouldn't have shared that bit of personal information, the
man covers up for himself, "I have quite a few unpaid parking tickets."
"You have a car?!" Robert's incredulous reaction surprises the man
considerably, since cars are rather commonplace to him, but he just smiles
politely and nods in response. Robert continues, "Awesome! Hardly anyone has
a car where I'm from! Of course, I'm from Lavender Town, which is a pretty
small town, so no one who lives there really NEEDS a car. Even *I* don't
need a car, and I'm the town's Gym Leader! Oh, by the way, my name's
"Mike Smith," the man introduces himself, "Pleased to meet..."
"LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD! LOUD!!!"
"GAAAAH!" Robert cringes, covering his ears with his hands. He looks around,
but doesn't see the source of the commotion. "What's that horrible noise?!"
"Fine," says Robert, having heard the shout despite his ears being covered,
"What's that LOUD noise?"
"LOUD! LOUD! LOUD!"
"That's my Loudred..." Mike reconsiders his answer the moment he makes it,
not sure he wants to be associated with such a clamorous Pokemon. "Well,
actually, he's not really mine. I'm just babysitting him. He yells from time
to time, and the only thing that seems to calm him are Pokemon battles."
"Where is this... 'Loudred'?" asks Robert, not at all familiar with that
particular species of Pokemon and figuring it's from Hoenn.
"LOUD LOUD! LOUD!! LOUD!"
"I'm not sure exactly where he is now, but he's obviously within earshot."
Mike doesn't even bother to look around for his Pokemon, knowing he's on his
way since his shouting is getting louder and louder. "I had my daughter's
Smoochum take him for a walk while I shopped for shoes, so he wouldn't
disturb the other shoppers, but now he's on his way back and it appears he's
itching to battle."
"In that case, you're in luck, Mr. Smith!" Robert crouches and places his
Houndour on the sidewalk. While petting the fluffy fur coat on the puppy's
back, the Gym Leader explains, "I just got this Houndour and I'd like to see
how she battles. I mean, this wouldn't count as an official Diversity Gym
battle, seeing as how I'd only be using one Type of Pokemon, but my new
Houndour sure could use some battle experience. Besides, if it calms down
your Loudred, we both win!"
"LOUD!!! LOUD!! LOUD! LOUD!! LOUD!!!"
"Good idea, Robert." Mike looks down and finds that his Loudred is now
standing beside him. The Smoochum that arrived along with the loud-mouth
Pokemon mutters to herself and wanders off to complain to Mike's young
Growlithe about her experiences with the Loudred. Meanwhile, Mike's Loudred
stares up at the sky, casually watching some clouds drift by, oblivious to
the fact that both Robert and Mike's Smoochum are glaring at him for making
such a terrible racket.
The Loudred declares, "LOUD LOUD LOUD!!!"
Shortly after Loudred arrives in front of the shoe store, Mithril-rama walks
up to where Robert is petting his Houndour. She leans down and taps her
boyfriend on the shoulder, asking, "What's keeping you so long, Robert? And
what's making that awful noise?"
"To answer both of your questions... THAT is," Robert remarks, pointing at
the Loudred standing next to Mike. "This man here's called Mike Smith, and
this is his Loudred." Hearing his name spoken out loud by the Gym Leader,
Mike realizes he should've given a fake name instead and makes it a point to
better educate himself in fugitive etiquette. Robert stops petting his
Houndour, stands up straight, and continues his explanation, "Mike's Loudred
makes a lot of noise, but he tends to stop making noise whenever he battles.
I'm going to help Mike by having a Pokemon battle with him. My new Houndour
versus his Loudred!"
"LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD!"
"Don't you think you should use one of your other, higher-level Pokemon?"
Mithril-rama asks, taking the opportunity to speak the moment Loudred
momentarily stops shouting. "Maybe Piloswine? Or Hitmonchan? That Houndour's
just a puppy. I don't think she should be battling yet."
"LOUD! LOUD LOUD!! LOUD LOUD LOUD!!!"
"You worry too much, Rilli. Zafiro told me to have fun with it, and battles
are fun!" Noticing that Rilli's not convinced by his argument, Robert
assures her, "I'll recall Houndour before she gets hurt. I'm not battling to
win, just to help Mike and test out some of my new Houndour's abilities
while I'm at it." Still a bit worried, but trusting her boyfriend's ability
to recall the Fire Pokemon if she's in danger, Mithril-rama shrugs and sits
down on the sidewalk to watch the battle, crossing her legs and plugging her
ears with her fingers. Once Rilli's sitting, Robert turns his attention to
Mike and says, "All right, Mike, it's time to reduce big city noise
Archived from groups: alt.games.nintendo.pokemon (More info?)
"Rob" <email@example.com> wrote in message
> Shortly after Loudred arrives in front of the shoe store, Mithril-rama
> up to where Robert is petting his Houndour. She leans down and taps her
> boyfriend on the shoulder, asking, "What's keeping you so long, Robert?
> what's making that awful noise?"
> "To answer both of your questions... THAT is," Robert remarks, pointing at
> the Loudred standing next to Mike. "This man here's called Mike Smith, and
> this is his Loudred." Hearing his name spoken out loud by the Gym Leader,
> Mike realizes he should've given a fake name instead and makes it a point
> better educate himself in fugitive etiquette. Robert stops petting his
> Houndour, stands up straight, and continues his explanation, "Mike's
> makes a lot of noise, but he tends to stop making noise whenever he
> I'm going to help Mike by having a Pokemon battle with him. My new
> versus his Loudred!"
> "LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD!"
> "Don't you think you should use one of your other, higher-level Pokemon?"
> Mithril-rama asks, taking the opportunity to speak the moment Loudred
> momentarily stops shouting. "Maybe Piloswine? Or Hitmonchan? That
> just a puppy. I don't think she should be battling yet."
> "LOUD! LOUD LOUD!! LOUD LOUD LOUD!!!"
> "You worry too much, Rilli. Zafiro told me to have fun with it, and
> are fun!" Noticing that Rilli's not convinced by his argument, Robert
> assures her, "I'll recall Houndour before she gets hurt. I'm not battling
> win, just to help Mike and test out some of my new Houndour's abilities
> while I'm at it." Still a bit worried, but trusting her boyfriend's
> to recall the Fire Pokemon if she's in danger, Mithril-rama shrugs and
> down on the sidewalk to watch the battle, crossing her legs and plugging
> ears with her fingers. Once Rilli's sitting, Robert turns his attention to
> Mike and says, "All right, Mike, it's time to reduce big city noise
"This is quite a strange experience," said Mike as he pocketed a Poké Ball
he'd received at the Fighting Dojo. "I had heard that challenging Gyms was
a bigger deal here than back in Johto, but this will be my third battle
against a Leader in a week!"
"Rilli," said Robert, calling his girlfriend.
"Yes, really!" said Mike. "I was hoping to battle Sabrina here when I
Both Robert and Mithril-rama flinched upon hearing the Saffron Gym Leader's
name, but Mike didn't notice this.
"LOUD LOUD LOUD!"
"Alright, Loudred - GO!" commanded Mike, pointing at his opponent like the
professional trainers on TV.
Robert sent his new Houndour into battle. She ran towards Loudred and
jumped up on him, placing her paws on his chest.
"LOUD LOUD LOUD LOUD *LOUD*!"
Houndour jumped back, and for a moment, Mike was afraid Loudred had scared
her. However, she didn't seem at all nervous - in fact, she was grinning at
"She's too young to do any severe damage," said Robert to himself. "On the
other hand, Loudred isn't really paying attention. If I have her use Leer,
she might be in with a better chance, especially if she can get in a few
quick moves before Loudred calms down enough to battle."
Mike wondered how a man who discussed his tactics out loud could possibly
have become a Gym Leader. He watched as Loudred started Howling, and
decided to leave him to his own devices.
"Use Leer, Houndour!" shouted Robert, excitedly anticipating his new
Pokémon's first move under his command.
Houndour ran towards Loudred and started Biting his leg. Evidently, she
wasn't used to her new trainer yet.
"It's worse than before," muttered Mike. "Start an Uproar, Loudred."
Loudred obeyed the command, and as Mike had hoped, Houndour backed away.
She still had an evil, playful gleam in her eye, but Robert managed to grab
her before she pounced back into the fray.
"Good battle!" grinned Robert. "It's nice to have a friendly match once in
"Yes," said Mike. "No losers that way!"
Robert glanced back at Mithril-rama, who didn't appear to share his
enthusiasm for the spontaneous battle.
"Are you okay, Rilli?" he asked her.
"Just a bit hungry," replied Mithril-rama. Robert suddenly remembered how
long it had been since lunch.
"Would you like to join us for dinner, Mike?" he asked.
"I'm not so sure..." said Mike uneasily. He was quite uncertain about the
idea of spending too much time with someone who knew his name in these
"Oh, come on! Everyone's gotta eat, right?" Robert laughed.
"Right," muttered Mike. "Oh, but I can't. Just remembered. I'm fasting."
Mike didn't respond.
"Are you really fasting?"
"Oh, right. Yes, I am. It's a new diet."
"Your diet is to not eat anything?" questioned Robert, frowning.
"Yes," said Mike, trying to think quickly. "We all pick an ideal weight and
try to reach it. At the end, we all attend a ball, wearing suits and
dresses that we can now fit into. We call it the Fast Ball."
"Isn't a Fast Ball an organic Poké Ball that captures speedy Pokémon?" asked
Robert, who was still wondering why Mike - who seemed dangerously
underweight - would want to lose more weight.
"Erm, I think that's the pun," said Mike. He quickly tried to remember some
other details about organic Poké Balls to cover his tracks further. "The
ones that don't reach their ideal weight attend a Heavy Ball the following
week." He mentally commended himself on his quick wit.
"Maybe I'll see you again, then," said Robert. "If you're ever in Lavender
Town, pop into the gym and we can have an official battle!"
"Yes, maybe," said Mike softly. Suddenly, he was filled with much more
excitement, as he said, "You don't have any MENIAL PAPERWORK to fill in, do
"Uhh, maybe," said Robert. "Why do you ask?"
Mike was already lost in a world of his own. Robert bid him farewell,
unsure whether the businessman even realised he was still there, and left to
get something to eat, carrying his Houndour in his arms.
Meanwhile, Mike was filled with a renewed dedication to clear his name. He
promised himself that one day, he'd show up in Lavender Town, and he'd fight
the most impressive Pokémon battle the town had ever seen, and he'd make a
name for himself as the man who established ComComCom as the most organised
communication company on the continent.