Buy Cat5e plenum and run a cable outside your house. It'll cost you some extra cash but you wouldn't have to worry about crawling through anything. Buy black or whatever color you want, run it outside around the house, under the gutter, whereever, then run it back in the house.
You mentioned you don't have cable.. I was going to say just run the line with the cable lines but that's out of the picture now.
You don't even really need plenum. You could just use regular cable for all that it matter.
Even then, you could go with a WAP since you're out in the middle of no where.