my drive dissapeared

to start from beginning, I bought a 320GB seagate SATA drive. I also bought a PCI slicon image SATA controller for it since my system is completely IDE.
Everything was working fine, i could access the drive through windows xp and no problems at all.
I was doing a windows update, there was a updated driver for the controller so i installed it. since then i cant access the drive through XP. I unistalled the driver and reinstalled the original i have on a cd. this didn't help either.
The drive was listed in the device manager under disk drives before the update, now it is gone. I had it look for new hardware, nothing is found except the controller itself.
I have also tried to use the disk manager in windows to find it. it doesn't see it there either. I have tried to right click on the manager and told windows to rescan the disks, still doesn't detect it. it was there before, because i had to use this to format the new drive.
if i open the raid utility, the drive is listed there, also if i use the controller bios when the system boots up it sees it also.
I have tried disconnecting the drive from the controller, reboot the system, shutdown, then reconnect the drive,just to see if windows would detect it, and that didn't help.
I moved the controller to a different PCI slot just to see if windows would rescan it. it sees the controller, but not the drive.

I am ready to pull my hair out. I have built about 20 systems myself, but this is my first time playing with a RAID of any sort. i hope all of them isn't like this. uugghh.

any help would be greatly appreciated. thanks.