Pat, I can appreciate how distressing this sort of thing can be. I'm guessing that you are not a whizz with computers so I'm slightly concerned that you might mess your email if you try to correct this problem on your own. Is there a local shop that you could take the computer to to get it sorted? I wouldn't recommend the PC World type superstore, but if there is a small computer shop near you they might be able to help for a nominal fee. It's not that the problem should be difficult to correct, just that it's so easy to make things worse if you are not careful.
But if you do want to have a go, I think that a few more details are needed before someone can advise you. Do you know what email client you are using? Did your husband and you use the same email account or did you have separate ones? When you say that your husbands name is displayed ahead of yours do you mean that both names are displayed (that's how I read your question)? With these details someone who uses the same email client program may be able to give step-by-step instructions.