Why ESD damages/kills electronics:
(DISCLAIMER: this explanation is not intended to be taken as gospel truth - I am qualified in the electronic engineering field, quite highly in fact, but almost all of my electronics experience is in the heavy industrial field, particularly automation, where ESD isn't much of a concern due to the components used being of the Extra Heavy Duty variety)
Let us assume we're dealing with a single BGA chip from a stick of DDR2 SDRAM. Inside this chip is a tiny fragment of silicon with delicate little paths etched into it. The chip is connected to the pins using little wires that are somewhat thinner than a hair.
Electric current such as these components normally deal with is 1.8V (approx) in a steady stream for the power carriers and in short pulses for the data carriers. These short pulses come in through heavily filtered power supply circuitry, so the transitions tend to be fairly smooth.
A static discharge is similar, only instead of a pulse measuring just under two volts, it's a pulse of a few thousand volts plus. (NOTE: the most instantly recognisable form of ESD would be lightning, well known as a weather condition)
There are several electronic equations dealing with the above - we're mainly concerned with V=IR and P=IV.
V = Volts (voltage). I = Amps (current). R = Ohms (resistance). P = Watts (power). (NOTE: most numerical values assigned to variables are not verified)
Now, you have 1.8V = .05A x R. Solve for R. Our resistance on one of these tiny conductive paths and/or wires would then be 36 ohms.
The amount of power going through this path would then be:
P = IV; P = 0.05 x 1.8; P = .09W, most of which is lost in the form of heat.
Now let us assume that we've got a static discharge thundering through that same BGA chip: using V = IR and arbitrarily assigning 2,500V to V (which is a very conservative estimate) we end up with 2,500 = I x 36, so we've got about 70 amps (69.4 recurring to be precise) thundering through a path designed for no more than 0.05A. Using the P=IV equation we get a total of 173,611.11W - admittedly for an infinitesimal fraction of a second, but still long enough to inflict severe-to-fatal harm on any microcircuitry it passes through.
To condense most of the above: When ESD hits RAM, the circuit paths and/or connector wires inside the chips melt.
ESD is not bunk. It doesn't always happen due to the conditions required for it to happen being pretty specific, so some people are just incredibly lucky. Often it will happen, but the voltages generated are usually too small to do any damage. The zap you get when you touch a doorknob, for example, might weigh in from a fraction of a volt to anything up to about 15,000V+.
The scary part is that I had to look none of this up.
Hope this helps...