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Typical Windoze XP instal

Last response: in Windows XP
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August 19, 2005 2:46:10 PM

Archived from groups: microsoft.public.windowsxp.basics (More info?)

YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
CONTINUE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY SURE?

Yes.

ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?

*****yes!******

OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE "ANTI-TRUST"
NONSENSE. INGRATE.

Just get on with it.

ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.

Groan.

THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT LET
YOU INSTALL XP.

Problems? What problems?

THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE MOTHERBOARD.

But I'm using it at this very moment.

THAT IS IRRELEVANT.

But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't very
well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES
NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP IS
INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY CHIPS,
MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R DRIVE,
MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.

All that?

YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.

Well what *DOES* work?

THE MOUSE.

The mouse?

YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.

I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.

YES YOU DO.

No I don't.

WHAT'S THAT THEN?

It's a 3 1/2 drive.

NO IT ISN'T.

Yes it is.

YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.

Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
drivers for everything later? Please?

WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?

Well it is mine.

NO IT ISN'T.

It bloody well is.

NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S
OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.

But why?

BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE PEOPLE
PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE?
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT ARE
YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT DOS?
YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY MORE
POWE..........



--

Kenny Cargill

More about : typical windoze instal

Anonymous
August 19, 2005 2:46:11 PM

Archived from groups: microsoft.public.windowsxp.basics (More info?)

Superb! (LOUD APPLAUSE!)
Best comedy routine I've read since Tony Hancock & Sid James (Hancock's Half
Hour, on steam radio, 40 years ago). If you need a job, the BBC needs cmedy
script-writers!

"Kenny" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:eqvqLHKpFHA.1088@TK2MSFTNGP14.phx.gbl...
> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
> CONTINUE?
>
> Yes.
>
> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
>
> Yes.
>
> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
>
> *****yes!******
>
> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
> YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE
> "ANTI-TRUST"
> NONSENSE. INGRATE.
>
> Just get on with it.
>
> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
> COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.
>
> Groan.
>
> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT
> LET
> YOU INSTALL XP.
>
> Problems? What problems?
>
> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE
> MOTHERBOARD.
>
> But I'm using it at this very moment.
>
> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
>
> But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't
> very
> well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...
>
> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC DOES
> NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP
> IS
> INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY
> CHIPS,
> MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R
> DRIVE,
> MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
>
> All that?
>
> YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.
>
> Well what *DOES* work?
>
> THE MOUSE.
>
> The mouse?
>
> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
>
> I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
>
> YES YOU DO.
>
> No I don't.
>
> WHAT'S THAT THEN?
>
> It's a 3 1/2 drive.
>
> NO IT ISN'T.
>
> Yes it is.
>
> YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.
>
> Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
> drivers for everything later? Please?
>
> WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?
>
> Well it is mine.
>
> NO IT ISN'T.
>
> It bloody well is.
>
> NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM. IT'S
> OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.
>
> But why?
>
> BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE
> PEOPLE
> PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
> COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE?
> I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT
> ARE
> YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
> PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT
> DOS?
> YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY
> MORE
> POWE..........
>
>
>
> --
>
> Kenny Cargill
>
>
>
August 19, 2005 3:29:44 PM

Archived from groups: microsoft.public.windowsxp.basics (More info?)

Can't take the credit for writing it, I wish I could dream up stuff like
that. I shamelessly stole it from news:alt.tasteless.jokes. It was posted
there by "Njoy", don't know if he's the writer or not.

--

Kenny Cargill


"Silvabod" <nospam@thank.you> wrote in message
news:m4iNe.10250$CM.5462@newsfe7-win.ntli.net...
> Superb! (LOUD APPLAUSE!)
> Best comedy routine I've read since Tony Hancock & Sid James (Hancock's
> Half Hour, on steam radio, 40 years ago). If you need a job, the BBC
> needs cmedy script-writers!
>
> "Kenny" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
> news:eqvqLHKpFHA.1088@TK2MSFTNGP14.phx.gbl...
>> YOU ARE ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP, ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO
>> CONTINUE?
>>
>> Yes.
>>
>> ARE YOU REALLY SURE?
>>
>> Yes.
>>
>> ARE YOU REALLY REALLY SURE?
>>
>> *****yes!******
>>
>> OK, THEN. JUST SO YOU KNOW, WE'RE REQUIRED TO ASK YOU THAT NOW. IT'S ALL
>> YOUR FAULT FOR BEING A PICKY CONSUMER AND SUPPORTING THAT WHOLE
>> "ANTI-TRUST"
>> NONSENSE. INGRATE.
>>
>> Just get on with it.
>>
>> ATTEMPTING TO INSTALL WINDOWS XP. FIRST WE NEED TO CHECK YOUR SYSTEM FOR
>> COMPATIBILITY. THIS COULD TAKE SEVERAL DAYS.
>>
>> Groan.
>>
>> THE INSTALL PROGRAM HAS DETECTED SEVERAL POSSIBLE PROBLEMS AND WILL NOT
>> LET
>> YOU INSTALL XP.
>>
>> Problems? What problems?
>>
>> THE VIDEO CARD YOU ARE USING APPARENTLY DOES NOT WORK WITH THE
>> MOTHERBOARD.
>>
>> But I'm using it at this very moment.
>>
>> THAT IS IRRELEVANT.
>>
>> But if the video card isn't working with the mother board then I can't
>> very
>> well see this warning message telling me that the video card wasn't...
>>
>> DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FOOL ME WITH LOGIC, I AM A MICROSOFT PRODUCT. LOGIC
>> DOES
>> NOT WORK ON ME. I HAVE ALSO FOUND THE FOLLOWING MINOR ERRORS: WINDOWS XP
>> IS
>> INCOMPATIBLE WITH THE FOLLOWING HARDWARE - MONITOR, KEYBOARD, MEMORY
>> CHIPS,
>> MOTHERBOARD BIOS, WEB CAM, SCANNER, SOUND CARD, USB CONTROLLER, CD/R
>> DRIVE,
>> MICROPHONE, AND FLIGHT STICK.
>>
>> All that?
>>
>> YES. AND THE HARD DRIVE IS RIGHT OUT TOO. WE DON'T LIKE THE MANUFACTURER.
>>
>> Well what *DOES* work?
>>
>> THE MOUSE.
>>
>> The mouse?
>>
>> YES. AND THE 5 1/4 DRIVE.
>>
>> I don't have a 5 1/4 drive.
>>
>> YES YOU DO.
>>
>> No I don't.
>>
>> WHAT'S THAT THEN?
>>
>> It's a 3 1/2 drive.
>>
>> NO IT ISN'T.
>>
>> Yes it is.
>>
>> YOU'RE NOT THAT SMART YOU KNOW.
>>
>> Look, can you just install XP on my system and I'll download the latest
>> drivers for everything later? Please?
>>
>> WAIT, WHAT DO YOU MEAN *YOUR* SYSTEM?
>>
>> Well it is mine.
>>
>> NO IT ISN'T.
>>
>> It bloody well is.
>>
>> NUH-UH. YOU SIGNED THE AGREEMENT WHEN YOU OPENED THE BOX. OUR SYSTEM.
>> IT'S
>> OURS. AND YOU CAN ONLY DO 4 CHANGES BEFORE YOU HAVE TO PAY US MORE MONEY.
>>
>> But why?
>>
>> BECAUSE THAT'S HOW THE LICENSE WORKS, IDIOT. WE CAN'T VERY WELL HAVE
>> PEOPLE
>> PUTTING HARDWARE AND SOFTWARE ON THEIR SYSTEMS ALL HIGGLEDY PIGGLEDY, NOW
>> COULD WE? YOU USERS WOULD MUCK EVERYTHING UP, AND THEN WHERE WOULD WE BE?
>> I'LL TELL YOU WHERE, NOWHERE. THAT'S WHERE. I... HEY, WHAT IS THAT? WHAT
>> ARE
>> YOU DOING? IS THAT A DISK? WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT DISK? YOU'RE NOT
>> PUTTING IT IN THE DRIVE ARE YOU? YOU ARE! WHAT'S ON THAT DISK? IS THAT
>> DOS?
>> YOU'RE INSTALLING DOS?? WHY WOULD YOU INSTALL DOS WHEN I AM INFINITELY
>> MORE
>> POWE..........
>>
>>
>>
>> --
>>
>> Kenny Cargill
>>
>>
>>
>
>
Anonymous
August 19, 2005 8:02:54 PM

Archived from groups: microsoft.public.windowsxp.basics (More info?)

It certainly deserves a wider audience ... can assure you it's currently
circulating round 3 European countries, and some of my contacts are
multinational employees (and some in IT) my guess is you'll see it again,
soon !

Thanks for the link(s) Kenny - appreciated!

"Kenny" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
news:uOgiXfKpFHA.4056@TK2MSFTNGP10.phx.gbl...
> Can't take the credit for writing it, I wish I could dream up stuff like
> that. I shamelessly stole it from news:alt.tasteless.jokes. It was
> posted there by "Njoy", don't know if he's the writer or not.
>
> --
>
> Kenny Cargill
>
>
> "Silvabod" <nospam@thank.you> wrote in message
> news:m4iNe.10250$CM.5462@newsfe7-win.ntli.net...
>> Superb! (LOUD APPLAUSE!)
>> Best comedy routine I've read since Tony Hancock & Sid James (Hancock's
>> Half Hour, on steam radio, 40 years ago). If you need a job, the BBC
>> needs cmedy script-writers!
>>
>> "Kenny" <me@privacy.net> wrote in message
!