I don't exactly know what question you're trying to ask. If i read your story correctly, your question is "is it really true that onboard RAID controllers are OK and is there any significant difference?".
First i would like to comment about using SSD's in RAID. Solid State Drives are very different from HDDs. HDDs can't be made much faster; each generation is only marginally faster than the previous one. This is a limitation of physics; the only real advancement is increasing the data density, increasing the rpm and cache size, and some firmware tweaks. That's it.
For SSD's however, the
controller is key to performance. Cheap SSDs have bad controllers that can have good read performance but fail at providing good write performance. Good controllers like Intel is using in their popular SSDs, are using multiple channels and intelligent logic to provide extremely high performance. Not only when doing simple sequential I/O - large files - but also more complicated I/O which is much more important in real life and very much overlooked. Since I/O is too complex for more ordinary people to understand, all you hear in marketing and even on forums like this one is MB/s - not IOps which is a much better way of expressing performance.
To make a story short: you don't need RAID to enhance the performance of SSDs. Modern SSDs use RAID0 or striping/interleaving internally already; the Intel controller has 8 separate channels to do I/O with. Future controllers can use even more. So even with the same flash memory chips, performance can be enhanced by many many times that of current SSDs. So not a modest 20% increase but like 200.000% performance increase is theoretically possible.
That said, if you are looking for SSDs now and want to enhance its performance, you can use RAID0 without any problems. So your question: which RAID engine to use? Since SSDs provide very low latency; any hardware RAID controller in PCI-X or PCI-express interface will slow down the SSDs as they have their own processing time. On the other hand they can speed up throughput and IOps but there's also a slowdown effect; it depends on the application which is faster.
Onboard RAID controllers should have the lowest latency (=fastest); as its directly connected with the chipset (the southbridge). The popular Intel chipsets (ICHxR) also allow you to enable 'write caching' (which is technically wrong since its not a cache but a buffer). This is dangerous because it can corrupt your filesystem in case of a crash or power failure, but can provide very high performance in certain cases by using your RAM memory as "buffer" for writing - enhancing performance in many realistic cases, much like real Hardware controllers do with their onboard dedicated memory.
So its possible an Intel RAID0 array provides higher performance than very expensive hardware RAID controllers, when using SSDs. Much of the optimizations the hardware RAID controllers use (such as I/O reordering and I/O combining) is useful on HDDs only - not SSDs!
So there are several reasons onboard RAID solutions are 'on par' or even superior to real hardware RAID solutions.
Hope this answers your question, if not ask away.