I think I know the device you are referring to but posting a pic on photobucket and
putting a link in your reply might help.
The important thing is not to get the darned thing the wrong way up or you'll apply power where it doesn't belong and do damage. Also note that in addition to the signal pins laptop drives have extra pins to set slave and master -- just make sure you identify those and only connect to the signal pins.
Hard drives have numbered pins - usually Pin 1 is indicated on the circuit board of the drive. If you refer to that you should be able to figure out how to fit the plug to the laptop drive.
Refer to pin 1 on the computer motherboard for orientation of the IDE cable (or check it against the connector on a desktop drive)
The power connector is probably for a standard PC desktop drive power connector and provides 5volts to the laptop drive.
If this doesn't help, you might instead buy a USB to IDE drive connector which are less problematic to connect -- and the USB socket supplies the power to the laptop drive.
Thanks for the rapid response fihart, your right that is the lead i have, and your advice was spot on, i had 2 2.5" laptop drives and fried the first in the way you describe lol, so i thought i'd be safe and ask advice for the second, ok someone has emailed me with a link which explained further how to use my lead (although this is just a connector and mine looks like a normal grey ide ribbon)
the link below is the exact thing i was looking for,
thanks again Fihart