LOL, true, sorry.
OK, back on topic. For that budget the best I can find is
Diamond Radeon HD 4870 750MHZ 1GB $325 ($340 with $15 mail rebate), free shippinghttp://www.ncix.com/products/index.php?sku=33214&vpn=4870PE51G&manufacture=Diamond
Of course, it would need a parent with a credit card. They can trust NCIX, I've personally bought things on a credit card from them often. If they're worried about the credit card number being captured by hackers on the way there, they should know it uses SSL i.e. it's encrypted. AFAIK banks cover any losses from such things, with maybe a $50 deductible.
BTW, $325 on a purchase without PST is 325+5%, i.e. like $302 spent in a local store with 13% GST+PST. That applies if you live in Ontario. No idea about other provinces.