Dual Xeon PSU with SMBus support?

I'm building a dual Xeon system based on the ASUS Z8PE-D12X board. I am having a very hard time finding a PSU that fulfills all of my desires. I will break my general frustration into three areas:

1. Energy Efficiency

Where are all the 80 Plus Gold PSUs? The 80 Plus website lists 39 Gold-certified models, and not a single one of them is even mentioned on their manufacturers websites or for sale at third-party vendors! Were these all one-off prototypes that were tweaked just to so that the manufacturer could claim to have earned a gold certification? I am not obsessed with finding an 80 Plus Gold PSU, per se, but I do want a high level of efficiency. And before anyone raises the argument that efficiency ratings are misleading because the test conditions are not the same as normal use, my system will be running at near 100% CPU usage and at full power 24/7/365-- so, yes, these ratings are very relevant to me.

2. Dual 12V 8-pin connectors

I am not going to spend over $250 on a PSU and then have to jury-rig the connectors to power both my CPUs. Why on earth is it so hard to find PSUs with TWO 8-pin 12V connectors???

3. SMBus connector

Does anyone make any PSUs with the 5-pin SMBus connector, as specified by the SSI EPS12V standard?

http://www.pcpower.com/downloads/EPS12VSpec2_91.pdf

My system board has this capability, and I would like to take advantage of it. My searches have turned up nothing except for industrial PSUs for things like medical equipment.

In summary, my "dream" PSU will be:
Fully EPS12V compliant
>= 1000W
Energy Star 5.0 or 80 Plus Gold or some other high standard-compliant
SLI ready
Active PFC
SMBus capable
Partially Modular (24-pin and dual 8-pin not necessary)
>= Four 12V rails