Serious bummer man. Your not specific about it POSTing or anything like that. Does it boot the OS or not?
I would look into the power supply as a first check. If you have a spare around, swap it out. This is a nice board, got one myself and although parts on mobos can go bad, I have never seen this happen in my 15 years or so of building PC's, but I have changed out many power supplies that went bad. One even exhibited your slow fan symptom, and it was because of a bad power supply fan. Also, sometimes the power supply fan doesn't work if it goes out completely, and may or may not do this on a partial failure.
If worst gets to worst you still have the warranty. This is a great board and really not the piece of #### you claim it to be. Be patient and hopefully it is just your luck and not the mobo.