One obvious thing - the DRAM should be installed in alternating slots. That is, both sticks of a matching pair in the white slots, the others in the black slots. Can't mix em up.
In the BIOS:
Set the DRAM timings back to Auto - both are similar enough it shouldn't be a problem.
Set the DRAM voltage manually to 2.1v. The specs show 1.9-2.1V for one and 2.0V-2.1V for the other. Most likely they're getting 1.8V now, the default.
For now - Disable the Quick POST
If you have ANY Overclocking options set, get rid of them. This means CPU, DRAM, nVidia/nForce clocking, etc...
Once you have that done, reboot. Then under PnP/PCI choose Reset Configuration Data, save and reboot again. Test the system
A few more things to try:
Disable the "SLI-Ready Memory" - ignore the state of these type. Under "FSB & Memory Config"
There's some BIOS updates on the site, have you done that or running newest?
LOL, I think that's it right now. I know nothing about SLI, but I think that's the key to your problem. The fact that one DRAM pair supports it and the other doesn't is a big clue in my opinion.
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BTW, I really like the XFX manuals and guides. Very detailed info compared to most. What I don't like is having to register to get copy of anything.