4870 dead - I think I may be screwed

So here's the situation. I went to boot up my computer yesterday morning, and things were going just fine. Made it to Windows, opened up a web page, and was then greeted by a nice BSOD, followed by an instant reboot. Upon rebooting, I was given some error beeps and a blank screen. I shut it down and opened the case.

After some brief investigating, I found that one of my 4870's (master) was blazing hot, while the other was just the normal warm. I checked to make sure all the power cables were properly seated, let the card cool down, removed the slave card, and went for another reboot. I was given the same beep code (which Foxconn says is a memory problem), and I noticed that the lights on the card started red, then moved to the green lights. Still no post, and the fan was not spinning. I tried other pcie slots with the same results. The other 4870 works just fine in every slot.

Normally I would go for a rma, but herein lies the problem. Sapphire does not directly deal with rmas, pointing towards the vendor. I purchased this card three weeks ago brand new from an eBay dealer, who has conveniently failed to respond to emails. It's only been two days, but I have not heard back from Sapphire either.

My questions are: Anyone know how to get around the Sapphire "not responsible for faulty crap" stance? Also, can anyone think of a miracle fix, or something that I may be overlooking? Thanks in advance, and here are some of my system specs:

Foxconn A79A-S 790FX
Phenom II 940
2 Sapphire HD4870 512
2x2 gigs GSkill PC6400
Tagan BZ700 psu
Vista 32
All stock clocks

I think Sapphire offers a two year warranty. What they are supposed to do is check the serial number on the vga card and see when they put them out for distributors to sell. If it has been less than two years then you should be fine.

Heard back from Sapphire - they basically just copied & pasted their statement from the above link. No word from eBay dude. Yeah, I'm screwed. Thanks for the replies.