Expert help needed please :-)

well the 250 gts isnt that great, so that actually sounds about normal for high intensity games, but does sound a tiny bit low, but i think its nothing. the mobo will either accept the ram as is, or underclock it itself, so no worries there.

Well here's how ya GFX card stacks up

http://www.tomshardware.com/reviews/geforce-310-5970,24...

Here's the "winners" from THG's latest (December) GFX Roundup
Best Graphics Cards For The Money: December '09

$50 - HD 4650
$65 - HD 4670 / 9600 GSO
$85 - 9600 GT
$95 - 9600 GT / HD 4830
$110 - GTS 250 512 MB
$120 - GTS 250 1 GB
$155 - HD 5770 / GTX 260
$200 - HD 4890
$240 - 2 x GTS 250
$310 - No winner (HD 5850 Honorable Mention)
$330 - 2 x GTX 260 / 2 x HD 5770
$400 - 2 x HD 4890
$410 - No winner (HD 5870 Honorable Mention)
$465 - No winner (GTX 295 Honorable Mention)
$625 - No winner (HD 5970 Honorable Mention)

Benchmarks really aren't an issue, the issue is how does it play the games you wanna play at the resolution of your monitor.

From the above article:

GeForce GTS 250 512MB - Good 1920x1200 performance in most games

The dissapearance of the $100 Radeon HD 4850 has not only opened up the GeForce 9800 GT and Radeon HD 4830 for recommended status, but also the GeForce GTS 250.

At $110, the 512MB version of this card offers respectable performance, and nothing else in the price range can compare to it. As fast as the Radeon HD 4850 and new Radeon HD 5750 (and notably cheaper), the GeForce GTS 250 has no real competition from the rest of the sub-$150 market at this time.

Bear in mind that going this route instead of the Radeon HD 5750 will cost you DirectX 11 support and Eyefinity. But in the context of gaming, you'll need to make other quality sacrifices long before trying to enjoy either value-add in the $110 range.