Given that LGA 775 is a dead platform and that both processors have similar stock performance, you should go with the 955 BE and the AM3 platform on this argument alone: 955 BE.
Looking at the Tom's Charts, the 955 will beat out the higher-binned (and higher-priced) Q9550 in games and will trade blows when it comes to rendering and application use. The 955 BE will have an all-around solid lead over the Q9400, especially in gaming. If you are looking for a gaming processor at this price-point, the decision should be a no-brainer: 955 BE.
If you are an overclocker, and you have no problem with messing with the FSB, memory divider and northbridge/memory/processor voltage, then the Q9400 will likely to around the same levels that the 955 BE will. I believe 4 GHz is more easily achieved by the Q9400, but you will likely need to fool around with it and be confident in your overclocking abilities (especially since you're starting out at only 2.66 GHz - you'll need to tweak the FSB and memory divider quite a bit). Also, you will likely need faster memory to accommodate the high FSB speeds when overclocking the Q9400, unless you really cripple the memory clock with the divider. Both should be able to easily achieve ~3.7-3.8 Ghz without too much effort, albeit the 955 BE will be FAR easier with its unlocked multiplier: Q9400 or 955 BE, 955 BE if you will do basic overclocking.
There is nothing wrong with the quality of AMD processors. Your friends are simply biased and uninformed and are telling you to go with Intel due to the hype they've heard or their unjustified prejudice toward AMD. Remember, we are looking at performance/price, not who wins in the absolute sense or which processor is the G3WD3R one. Both processors will be perfectly reliable; quality isn't the issue here. The decision is pretty clear to me. You make the decision for yourself.
Here is a link to a comparison between the 955 BE, Q9450 and Q9550. Remember, the Q9400 has half the cache of the Q9450 (6 MB vs. 12 MB), so its performance will be slightly less than the Q9450: http://www.tomshardware.com/charts [...] .html?prod[2607]=on&prod[2621]=on&prod[2620]=on