well for example if you use onboard graphics, sometimes itll use shared memory and so if ur onboard graphics uses 64mb and you have 512mb in the Winodws System Properties it will how up as 448mb, for example. i dont know of any other devices that will use up the ram only th eonboard graphis
Open Task Manager and look at the Processes tab. That will tell you what the software is using.
Device Manager will how much and where the memory is for each device. There undoubtedly is a utility that will give you a complete memory map, but I do not know what it is called.