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A Real Friend

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November 8, 2011 9:20:37 PM

Here is something to ponder over and post,( if you want to .)

What makes a real friend. In your own words, what qualities do you see in others and yourself that could be classified as a 'real friend'?

This is short for the very being of a much larger question. Or much larger response.

More about : real friend

November 8, 2011 11:45:49 PM

Must be visible.

One that you and other people can see, not the one that only you can see.

Another quality is that they there during your bad time as well, not just on time for party and activities.
November 9, 2011 1:57:48 AM

I have an answer:

There is no such thing as a friend...especially a 'real' one. If there were friends, everyone would have one.

I know a guy who has no friends. He is kind of odd, but he is really nice. every time he tries to talk to someone he get ignored. every time he tries to start a relationship with one of the guys...he gets left alone, isolated.

If there were real friends...there would be peace.
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January 1, 2012 5:09:45 AM

Hi dogman_1234 ,

Do you have any story to share or do you want to make friends here?
January 1, 2012 8:54:52 AM

Onio4yas said:
Hi dogman_1234 ,

Do you have any story to share or do you want to make friends here?


What do you mean?
January 2, 2012 12:17:03 AM

To me, a friend is someone who will let you help them
January 19, 2012 3:17:36 PM

Friendship is a social construct Dogman. There will always be a biological urge to compete and beat our rivals to claim resources. Complete peace is unlikely.

I'd say to your friend that maybe he is trying too hard. That can really put people off. Additionally consider that different people have different on opinions on what a nice person is. Age is an important factor. Throughout various stages of our lives we demand different things in friends.
June 24, 2012 6:48:50 AM

Quote:
Today's generation (not meaning to offend) are jumped up ignorant A-holes who do not care about anyone else but themselves. Good people are becoming harder to find, but can be found if you search deep enough ;) 

LOL, you really make it sound like they are all dead, last gen, by saying dig deep.
September 20, 2012 9:50:59 PM



What makes a real friend. In your own words, what qualities do you see in others and yourself that could be classified as a 'real friend'?

This is short for the very being of a much larger question. Or much larger response.


To be a REAL friend you need to be kind to that person, don't use them for their money or there snacks or whatever. You have to talk all to them and hangout with them often it doesn't matter your house or theirs. ;) 
October 3, 2012 7:02:16 PM

Oh, that is easy.

Helps you whether you may need the help or not, stands by you no matter what happens or what people say and will lend an ear whenever you need to speak.

Having common interests helps, but it's not all that necessary. A good friend will be at your side, dis-regarding differing ideals and views.

Haven't found any folk that would do that for me, but I do that for other people. Does seem to go unappreciated though.
October 13, 2012 1:18:40 AM

dogman_1234 said:
I have an answer:

There is no such thing as a friend...especially a 'real' one. If there were friends, everyone would have one.

I know a guy who has no friends. He is kind of odd, but he is really nice. every time he tries to talk to someone he get ignored. every time he tries to start a relationship with one of the guys...he gets left alone, isolated.

If there were real friends...there would be peace.


Hi dogman_1234...about that guy you mention.I say, if you talk to each other, communicate and he doesnt left alone by you...then I can say that you're friends! Also if you share personal stories, you know about your life, your definitely good friends!
October 13, 2012 5:50:49 AM

aggapapi said:
Hi dogman_1234...about that guy you mention.I say, if you talk to each other, communicate and he doesnt left alone by you...then I can say that you're friends! Also if you share personal stories, you know about your life, your definitely good friends!

You do realize I was talking about myself?
October 13, 2012 1:50:13 PM

dogman_1234 said:
You do realize I was talking about myself?

No I didn't...sorry about that,but I see other people thought the same as me!maybe you should rewrite it better.
October 22, 2012 1:17:05 AM

I would say that there's two types of good friends:

1) The type that shares many common interests to you. These relationships can be shallower than the second type, but also vastly more entertaining.

2) The second type is the type that doesn't necessarily share many things in common with you, yet still manages to connect and you can make each other laugh.

Just remember that friendship is a mutual thing; lots of people have 'friends' where the feeling really only goes deeply in one way.

I am not the expert on making friends (quite the opposite, actually), but in my experience there are a couple of ways to find friends (note that this is hugely dependent on age/gender/location and a large number of other factors:
1) Try to meet people at social activities doing things that you like. If you like gaming, try joining a gaming club and do for-fun-type tournaments. If you like sports, try to get on a team. Whatever you do, try not to be more of a tryhard or slacker than anyone else there, and be nice and try (but once again not too hard) to initiate relationships while doing this. It could be as simple as seeing if some of the people want to go out to a bar/movie/something one of the meetings/games/events.

2) Try some of the social places around you. If you're over the drinking age, a bar is a possible candidate, but also somewhat risky (we don't want you to become a raging alcoholic or something).

3) If you are trying to improve some aspect of your life (e.g. you are overweight or just plain out of shape and are trying to get in shape), find some way where you can do so in a social setting and find other people who are trying to do the same.

4) Lastly, never turn down an invite to do anything social (unless you REALLY can't go. Don't just go around rationalizing away your seclusion). Doing the random social things are the best way to meet people with whom you do not share a lot in common.

Also, one thing that has worked for me in the past is just asking to join in on an activity. Typically they will resist the first attempt, but if you ask again (or say something along the lines of "hey, just let me have a chance"), you stand a chance of getting to know that group of people better and possibly even becoming friends with some/all of them. That's more or less how I met the group that I would consider to be among my best friends.
November 17, 2012 12:26:20 AM

A true friend has your back all the time. I know with my friends if I'm in trouble they're there for me no matter the issue.
November 29, 2012 6:01:04 PM

I had this discussion with a friend years ago. (Someone I consider a real friend, yes!)

The question posed was how many people would you be willing to drive 100 miles for at four in the morning (say if they called for a lift, for whatever reason)? I believe it's even more interesting (and depressing) to think of it the other way around. How many people do I know who would drive to the next city over if I called them in the middle of the night and told them I was stranded?

Having recently moved countries, I've had to start over. Before, I could quite comfortably say at least five. These days, I have my spouse. His family members. I can think of one person (who I actually met through Tom's!) that I can rely on outside of those tied to me by familial obligation.
November 29, 2012 8:53:55 PM

I wouldn't even wake up if the person that need to travel is me. It's 4 in the morning! What are you doing 4 in the morning?

Anyway, if that happen to me, I'll just be stranded.

1. I wouldn't be 160.9344km away from home, it's the middle of nowhere so I wouldn't go there naturally.

2. There wouldn't be any phone reception (I blame Vodafone).

3. When they get to me, it will be around 5:30am which is the morning, so I'll have to spend the dark dangerous time alone anyway.

4. I am always very independent. Also, I don't want to wake my friends up.

5. Finally, I don't think anyone of my friend will do that. Not real friend? Well, real enough. At least they have a corporeal form.

If I am stranded in the outback, I'll just have to hitch-hike.
November 29, 2012 11:40:21 PM

I did that for a friend a few years back. He was coming back from a vacation with his gf and got in an argument with her. She decided to leave him when he went to the bathroom with his wallet in the car. It was a little after midnight when he called me.
November 30, 2012 3:23:18 AM

Pyree said:
I wouldn't even wake up if the person that need to travel is me. It's 4 in the morning! What are you doing 4 in the morning?

Anyway, if that happen to me, I'll just be stranded.

1. I wouldn't be 160.9344km away from home, it's the middle of nowhere so I wouldn't go there naturally.

2. There wouldn't be any phone reception (I blame Vodafone).

3. When they get to me, it will be around 5:30am which is the morning, so I'll have to spend the dark dangerous time alone anyway.

4. I am always very independent. Also, I don't want to wake my friends up.

5. Finally, I don't think anyone of my friend will do that. Not real friend? Well, real enough. At least they have a corporeal form.

If I am stranded in the outback, I'll just have to hitch-hike.


The point is not to debate the logistics of whether or not it would/could ever happen to you. The idea is to think about who you would do it for if it did happen. Never say never. Maybe it wouldn't happen as your life is now, but who knows? Life takes people funny places. I never expected to leave Ireland, yet here I am! :hello: 



December 8, 2012 5:37:38 PM

Pyree said:
Must be visible.

One that you and other people can see, not the one that only you can see.

Another quality is that they there during your bad time as well, not just on time for party and activities.


Agree :p 
December 10, 2012 2:43:12 AM

Great points Jane, and is sad as thats how the early US grew, and not that long ago either, where the neighbors would help build the newcomers house/barn, and were counted upon.
One could argue the needs of the day (at that time) was what drove them to do these things, but it also created character we rarely see today
April 8, 2013 5:45:55 AM

One word: Loyalty.

Two ways to know if someone is truly your friend:

1. If he backs you in a fight, no matter how many people there are

2. If you leave your girlfriend alone drunk with him, and he still doesn't make a move.

This may differ to others, but in my eyes that is the sign of a true friend.

July 10, 2013 5:00:17 PM

Trust,
Respect, and
Honesty.

Hard to find :lol: 
!