Which air cooler to get

There is not much better than an D14 Noctua. You could look at the Thermalright Silver arrow. Those are awesome too.

Extreme version :
http://www.thermalright.com/html/products/cpu_cooler/si...

Normal Version :
http://www.thermalright.com/html/products/cpu_cooler/si...

It does not look like Newegg are selling these so yeah, see at what price you can get them, if they are more expensive than the D14s, rather get it.

Review for the extreme version :

http://www.vortez.net/articles_pages/thermalright_silve...

Pretty damn good if you ask me...

Would the noctua fit in my case or be bad for my MOBO? It looks big and heavy. scary. I would need to take it off the cpu before moving the pc.

another issue with the noctua d14: there are 2 fans with separate fan connectors. They are 3 pin. I cannot connect them to cpu fan header. I have 3 other fans i already use. Any other option? I only will be over clocking up to 4.5. I use an intel board (dz77re-75k).

The Zalman CNPS9900 MAX does a fairly good job of cooling but is a bit lower in terms of cooling capability than the DH-14.

http://www.newegg.ca/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E1683...

The Zalman uses only one fan

Here is a review comparing the Zalman and the DH-14, the Noctua cooler actually mops the floor with the Zalman when it comes to overclocks.
http://www.bjorn3d.com/2010/12/zalman-cnps9900-max/#.UK...

Here is another cooler that I like:
http://www.newegg.com/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E168...

This one performs on par with the DH-14 and is not ugly  

Anyways for your fan issues I would recommend you buy a 3 pin to molex adapter since it will allow you to free up the fan headers.

http://www.newegg.ca/Product/Product.aspx?Item=N82E1681...

So how would that adapter work? I plug my 3 case fans into the front, rear, and auxiliary fan headers. Then what?

Oh no you plug the individual fan connectors to the adapter and then plug it into the power supply molex connector. For three fans you need 3 adapters.

oh ok gotcha. Will i be able to control the fan speed of all my fans and the noctua through the MOBO software?

All the fans connected to the motherboard header will allow you to control the speeds but the 3 pin to molex adapters do not allow you to change speeds. I believe they run at full speed.

hmm. So is there a non water cooling solution for me, a 3770k @ 4.5 and the ability to control cpu cooler speed?

Yes the coolers we have all mentioned are able to have adjustable fan speeds given you clear a header for the CPU fans and let the case fans run at full speed with the adapter. All the CPU coolers I know of need a motherboard header to control fan speeds.

ok so I have 4 fan headers (including cpu one) I will keep the exhaust fan at full speed and the 2 intakes and 2 fans with the dh14 will be variable?

Yes as long as the DH-14 gets a motherboard header you will be able to control the speeds.

last question   2 fans on the dh14= 2 fan headers or adapters??

You can get Thermalright CPU heatsink at
http://www.amazon.com/Thermalright-Silver-Arrow-SB-E-Un...